IN RESPONSE TO (Jemstone6259) Adley has always been a little dramatic, but I have been creating more drama in her attitude lately due to the fact that she is pregnant. Her hormones are all over the place, she doesn't feel good and she will have mood swings because that's how pregnant people are. I've been trying in these later chapters to make her character more emotional and dramatic in light of this fact. I know I'm writing her character to be a brat right now, she's going to be sad and angry at stupid times because of mood swings. I hope this will explain her behavior in these later chapters, and I'll try to cut it back a little bit (After this chapter) Thank you for your review and thank you to all of my readers and reviewers. I appreciate every single one of them.
Chapter 28
It is cold out, I'm so fucking stupid. Why on earth did I run away?
'Because he lied to you,' my conscience says.
I begin to build a shelter out of tree branches and moss, using the moss to patch holes that the sticks don't cover. When I run out of moss in the immediate area, I use mud instead. It's thick enough to stay, and it keeps the wind out decently. They only thing is it doesn't smell the greatest, yet then again neither do I without a shower in a few days.
I'm starving, but I need to get this built before I go looking for something to eat, what am I going to do. I don't know what I can eat, and what I can't. I don't know how to skin an animal, as if I could hunt one anyway. I don't have anything to kill it with. I have nothing.
I'm going to die out here.
I ignore this discovery and keep building my shelter. I'm going to have to do something. It will be dark in a few hours, and I don't want to know what is in this place. Lord knows what wild creatures roam in these woods. I place too many sticks on one side, the shelter becomes heavy, the weight of it is not balanced, and it topples over. I yell out in frustration and abandon the pitiful shelter and start walking back to the cabin, because I know that way there is a road that will lead me somewhere. I'm just hoping Brea doesn't see me walk past there and come outside. I can do this, I rode the plane on my own, I got myself here without him, I don't need him, I don't need him.
The cabin is in sight after over an hour of walking. My feet are aching and swollen, my head is heavy and tired, but I must not give in, he is expecting me to return. I can't let him win. I can't live with him, not after what he has done to me.
'Would you rather he let you at the facility and be bred until you are put down?' my conscience asks. I don't want to think about it, he did save me, but he didn't intend to keep me, he intended to send me back, didn't he?
'Can't you just forgive him so you can go back inside in the warmth?' I ask myself. I can't. It's impossible to forgive him of this. How could he work there and not tell me. How could he keep this from me, especially under these circumstances.
The cabin looks so warm and cozy, I want nothing more than to go inside, kick him out and move on with my life, but that's not going to happen. Instead, I walk past it, hoping he doesn't see me. I try not to even look at it, for fear that our eyes will meet from him looking out the window or something. I make it the whole way past the cabin, down the dirt road and finally I see asphalt.
There is no time to waste. I start walking, following the road into the next town, which will take a while from what I remember of the drive that Brea and I took yesterday to go and get supplies. I head east, I think, and with any hope I will arrive somewhere that will allow me to stay for the night, or I'll find someone who takes pity on me, I can only hope. But until then, I need to get used to relying on myself.
I'm so hungry, I haven't eaten anything all day, I left the breakfast on the stove to burn. I've only had a few sips of water from the stream, I'm starting to feel weak and light headed. I need to find food soon.
Headlights come and go, trucks, cars, tractor trailers, all of them cruise by without a single glance in my direction. I listen for them as they pass by, I even hid for the first few of them, but I can't afford to stop every time that a car passes by. There are really two options, they could be good, they could get me to town, or they could be bad, and murder me, rape me, or whatever lies between those lines. I'm dead anyway without Brea, so who cares.
A pair of headlights crowd around my figure in the setting sun. I have a sense of panic when I hear the car slow down, but keep walking as if I am not. It's just a person, a normal person, maybe they want to help.
"Hey good looking, need a ride?" A male voice says. I look to my right, it's Brea. Fuck.
"Not from you."
"You know you're never going to make it to wherever you're going by sundown, you got about twenty minutes left until it's completely dark out here, then what?"
"I don't care, I'm not going anywhere near you."
"Well you're already pretty near to me, and you could be even nearer if you would get in the truck. Come Adley, you know you won't make it, and you have to be hungry."
"That's not the point Brea, I don't care if I'm hungry, I don't want to be with you, how could I love you when you lied to me? How could I live with someone like that, how do you expect me to trust you?"
"I don't expect you to, but I need you to. If you hadn't trusted me you wouldn't have gotten this far. You'd be off without any human contact, you'd be sitting in a cell all day if it weren't for me. How many times do I have to keep reminding you of that?"
"A million times, because it's not enough. I'm grateful you got me out of there, but you can stop acting like your the best man on the planet. I am so happy that you set me free, but I'm horrified that you only did and were able to because you work for that evil place."
"I know Adley, I understand, but guess what, you're going to have to get over it. You're going to get over it because you have to. You need to."
"I don't need to do a damn thing, I'll do what I want and if I want to keep walking after dark I will. If I want to die out here, I will."
Brea stops the car, and for a minute I think he's just going to let me go, but then I hear the car shift into park, and the door opens on Brea's vehicle. He's coming for me and my legs break into a run. I sprint as fast as I can, but I don't get too far. Brea catches up to me in an instant, grabs me by the waist and throws me over my shoulder.
"Brea stop!" I yell, trying to wiggle my way out of his grasp.
"No, you're coming with me even if I have to keep you tied up in the cabin. Come on Adley, if you won't do it for you, at least do it for your - our baby." That stops me for a moment. I'm punishing the life inside me for something he has done. For everything he has done. I may not like it, I might not care if I live or die, but if I die, then so does the life growing inside me, and it's not fair for me to take away another persons chance at life.
"See you have no argument," Brea continues. "If I put you down can will you walk back to the car and not run away?"
"Yes," I say defeated. He has me, I can't do anything, I have to stay at least until this baby is born, then I can run.
"You know, you're not getting any lighter," he says as he sets me down. I don't say anything as I climb into the car. I don't want to speak to him right now, I'm still mad, but I know I have to stay with him out of necessity.
"Look Adley I'm sorry. I should have told you, but I couldn't risk having you run away. I had a job to do too, and you know it could be a lot worse. I'm just trying to get you to realize that. I don't want anything to happen to you and I'm going to be there for you as much as I can, but you gotta let me in a little bit. I know you're pregnant, I know your hormones are crazy, I know you feel like shit, but I can't do anything about it. I know you're going to be emotional and ill tempered, but I need you to stop these outbursts and stop trying to run away every three seconds, because I'm getting tired of stopping you."
"You don't think it's hard for me? Put yourself in my shoes Brea, it's not easy to b pregnant with a child you didn't want. It's not easy being locked in a cage and being brought out to be fucked anytime someone wants some action."
"You think I wanted this kid? I thought I was just gonna get you knocked up then bring you back, well guess what, life isn't always what we plan. Look we both have issues, but we're here now, I can't go back, and neither can you. We're stuck here together whether or not you love me. But I love you Adley, maybe not the way you want, but I do. Maybe you don't love me, and I understand why, but no man would have put up with you with all the shit that you throw at me, not even any man in this country. You need to calm down and stop this being upset all the time and running away shit. You won't find anyone that cares for you like I do, and you know, maybe I'm not enough for you but I'm not nothing. Keep that in mind next time you want to run away."
I don't answer him, instead I turn my head away from him and look out the passenger side window. He sighs and keeps driving. I don't know where we're going, but it's away from the cabin, that's for sure.
"Where are we going?" I ask after a while. I can't take not knowing. I thought Brea had just seen me and came to pick me up, I guess it was only a mere coincidence that he found me while on his way somewhere else.
"To the store, I forgot a few things yesterday, I need a wheelbarrow to haul wood back to the house, and I need to find the library so I know where to go to start searching for jobs. I don't have my printer with me, I only have my laptop, and it's no use at the cabin, so I need to at least go to the library with free internet and a charge center to use it. I have to check on my auctions since I'm selling all the furniture and old things on the internet. Once I get a job hopefully I can start affording more, until then the money from the things I have sold is what we got."
"Oh, okay," I say and return my attention to the trees passing by with the speed of the car. Brea parks the car in the parking lot to go get the wheelbarrow, getting out of the car he raises an eyebrow when I don't open my door.
"What?" I ask him.
"You know what, get out, you're coming with me."
"And what if I just want to stay in the car?"
"Not happening, I'm not letting you in here by yourself. You may try to run again and it's my job to make sure that your safe."
I sigh angrily, knowing I'll never win this argument I get out of the car, slamming the door behind me.
"You can be angry all you want Adley, but the trust in this relationship isn't just gone on your end," Brea says firmly grasping my hand and leading me into the store. We browse the isles for a wheelbarrow, his hand grasping mine in a state of dominance. He's silently telling me that I can't leave, and he doesn't trust me not to anymore. I can't blame him.
Brea finds the isle he needs and makes his selection from the six different types of wheelbarrows. We browse around the store a little more, looking at all the things that we'd like to have and talking about all the things we could do to the cabin. Different decoration styles, new hardwood floors, paint. Brea lightens the mood even more by grabbing me and throwing me into the wheelbarrow, hauling me around the store like we are two kids. I feel young for the first time in a long time.
When the fun dies down and there's nothing left to look at and nothing left to make fun of Brea pays for the wheelbarrow and we struggle to just barely fit it into the back of our vehicle. The drive home we laugh and carry on like nothing happened. Brea is good at forgiving, and I'm learning to forgive. I'm trying. What is so natural to him is complicated for me.
It's completely dark by the time we get home, Brea rebuilds the fire and offers to cook some food. He cooks canned chicken noodle soup, three cans of it. I haven't eaten all day, he knows it and he's going to force me to make up for it. I comply and eat what he gives me, and I even eat the small second helping he spoons into my bowl. I wash the dishes for him, and he begins boiling water for a bath, throwing the water in the bathtub when it has reached a hard boil.
Once the water cools we take turns bathing, me first and then him. He helps me into the tub, he's so delicate acting as if I'm made of paper. He notices my belly is getting bigger, a noticeable bump is starting to form, proof of the life that is growing inside of me.
He takes a rag and lathers soap on it, scrubbing my skin and then gently rinsing it with water. He washes me head to toe, even lathering my hair with shampoo and conditioner and rinsing it with a small cup that he uses to scoop water up and pour on my head.
He helps me out and dries me off, then helps me into a nightgown that he brought from home before undressing himself and getting into the tub. I grab the cloth and throw it in the water, but Brea stops me.
"What are you doing?" he asks me.
"I'm washing you, you need to be clean too," I say. I'm surprised he's even questioning me, he always lets me wash him.
"I can take care of myself Adley, go to bed I'll be there in a little bit."
"But Brea, you need washing too, it's only fair."
"No, Adley you need your rest. You have had a long day, you didn't eat very much, and your feet are swollen. You need to go to bed. I'll get myself washed up and I'll join you in a minute okay?"
"Okay," I say defeated. I wasn't crazy about washing him in the first place, but now that he's denying me the right to do so hurts. I crawl into bed and try to relax. I fucked up this relationship so much. I should have just kept my mouth shut when I found out where he worked. Things were already so screwed up before that, how will we ever get back to the way we were? Back when we still loved each other.
In the short amount of time that I have known Brea, I have fallen in and out of love with him, I have wanted nothing more than to escape from him, and I've been the opposite and wanted to stay in his arms forever.
I want things to be different, I wish I hadn't fucked this up. What is wrong with me? He's right, no man would love me, or even put up with me like he does. I have to stay, I have to do more than that, I have to make things right again.