Liquid pelted like acid rain against my aching cheeks. My heart felt as dark the forest I was now wandering through, as if I had not a drop of emotion left inside to care.
When the crunching of leaves below my feet would usually frighten me, they did not. When the silver moon above me was obscured by thick clouds completely, I didn't feel fear.
Even the memories of Zero did not seem to haunt me as much as they did before, after I had endured hours of wailing and screaming and scratching my wrists vigorously with my nails.
There was only numbness staining me now.
One scene between us forced it's way into my head.
"Hey, Val..." Zero whispered, rocking my shoulders back and forth until I awoke from slumber.
"W-What..." I mumbled, half asleep, opening my eyes until the blurriness faded.
What would he possibly want at 3am?
"I'm a bastard of a vampire?" He asked with a disturbed tone, a strangely serious look on his face.
Why is he so desperate to ask a question like that at this hour?
"Um, no, you're not, you're fine, ok? Let me sleep. Night." I snored.
"No, Val..." He tugged my arm sleeve and kissed my cheek tenderly, laying something warm in the palm of my hand and putting my fingers over the object.
"What's that...?" I was awake in an instant then.
"It's a special bracelet that is connected with my tattoo." He gestured to the black crest on his neck.
"I see." It was beaded with real silver, diamonds decorating each individual sphere.
"If I ever lose control and try to hurt you...Use it."
A swarm of bats in front of me smashed the distant memory away. I touched the now ice-cold bracelet, ripping it from my arm and throwing it as far as I could. Having it in my possession was like having a part of him with me, and I just couldn't bear to look at it any more. Plus what would its use be? He already has hurt me physically, mentally and emotionally!.
I had dizzy headaches and burning twists in my empty stomach, crestfallen words refusing to escape my cracked lips, my mind torturing me with endless thoughts of sadness and anger and a sprawling idea lurking inside me.
I was a monster more monstrous than any other immortal being. Born of royal blood, I was most likely going to become the hunted, my lover slipping through my fingers and my past only a reminder of doom. What was valuable in my life now? Nothing. My life would rust eventually, and so would my will to live. With my own sister a betrayal, my brother a man with so many secrets yet nothing to offer, and my lover, my life purpose, why should I let my heart continue to beat?
"Pity me." I spoke, not to myself, but to God above me. Standing on the edge of small rocky cliff, I breathed in my last gasping breath, holding the already bloody knife below my breasts, and closing my eyes with a yearning to be saved.
Take me home. Sweep me away from this dark world of horror. I prayed, drawing an invisible cross sign from my head to my chest to my left shoulder to my right.
And then the dagger struck me, my breath pausing, my eyes widening from the pain I just inflicted upon myself. I could feel the wound pulse in my flesh, the scarlet liquid dribbling down, so bright and beautiful for such a violent sight.
"I...Love...You...Zero..." Why did I say those three words? Was it because he had utterly caused me to do this? No. It wasn't just him. It was everything piled on top of another. The red marks on my arms to the pricking tears welling up in my glassy eyes.
I was an empty soul.
An abrupt gust of wind made me fall to the rocky ground, my eyelashes fluttering for the last time in this life. The black shape of a wolf has come before me, forming into the shape of a slender man.
"Valeria. Your saviour has come."