Space Pilot 3000….Genderbend?!
By: Frynette
Yeah, so, I started watching Futurama by watching Space Pilot 3000, and I kindov fell in love with that episode. So I got this creative thought to rewrite Space Pilot 3000 as a Genderbent plot twist. I chose the name Phyllis K. Fry, because I felt it would sound weird if it was Phyllis J. Fry.
So, without further or due, here it is!
Phyllis K. Fry rode her red bike with a pizza box and a cooler strapped to the end of it as she heard noise makers blast faintly as she rode by, keeping the glum expression plastered to her face. She stopped at the curb to go across as a taxi pulled up, rolling down the back right window to reveal her boyfriend Michael sitting with a blonde girl on the other side.
"Michael, babe! Where are you going?!" Phyllis asked loudly over the yelling and noise makers in the street, with a desperate look on her face.
"It's not working out, Phyllis." Michael replied with no hint of sympathy for the poor delivery girl whatsoever.
As the taxi began to pull away, Michael yelled out,
"I left your stuff out by the sidewalk!"
Furiously fighting back tears, she figured after she made this last delivery that her stuff would be stolen, with it being New York in the year 1999. She didn't care. It's not like she had any valuable possessions, anyway. She began to ride her bike saying, "I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life."
She parked her bike on a newspaper stand as she walked away with the pizza that was going cold, and the beer that sat on top of it. As she was opening the door, another lady walked up and cut off the bike lock as she gave Phyllis (who did not notice any of this) a salute, and rode off with her bike saying, "Happy New Year!"
She rode the elevator up to the right floor, and Phyllis opened the door that said, 'Applied Cryogenics' on the front, which also stated, 'no power outages since 1997'.
She walked over to one of the tubes, and wiped the condensation off, only to reveal a brunette frozen inside, wide eyed.
"Hello? Pizza delivery for uh.." she paused to get the slip of paper out of her pocket.
"I.C. Weiner? Aw crud. I always thought at this point in my life I'd be making the prank calls." She scoffed, looking up at the ceiling, furrowing her long, thin orange eyebrows.
The redhead carelessly put the pizza and beer on the desk and slumped in the chair as her long, vibrant orange hair that went down to her lower back slumped over her shoulders in a messy fashion as she put her feet on the desk in front of her, crossing her arms and furrowing her eyebrows in disapproval. She buried her neck in her red windbreaker. She reached over and opened a can of beer.
"Well, here's to another lousy millennium."
"Ten!"
"Neuf!"
"Otto!"
"Saba!"
"Eksi!"
"Wu!"
"Char!"
"Thathu!"
"Nee!"
"ONE!"
Phyllis blew her noisemaker uncharacteristically as she started to lose her balance, signaling that by waving circles with her arms. She fell backwards, flipped over and hit her back inside one of the cryogenics tubes, still holding her beer.
She gave out a short scream as the glass door closed, then everything went blue, then black.
The door to the cryogenics tube opened, and Phyllis K. Fry stumbled out, groaning.
She walked past the window, but stopped, pressing her face in the glass in awe.
"My God! It's the future! My parents, my co-workers, my boyfriend; I'll never get to see any of them again…" She pauses, then gives a "Yahoo!" of pure triumph.
The door opens, and Phyllis turns around to see two shadows. One of them walk in, and it's an Asian saying melodramatically, "Welcome, to the world of tomorrow!"
The other blonde girl revealed herself, turning on the lights saying, "Why do you always have to say it that way?"
"Haven't you heard of a little thing called showmanship?"
"Come, your destiny awaits!"
The blonde leads Phyllis through a hallway to a door.
"Have a nice future."
She walks in after the door hits her, because she stayed under it for too long, and because she had said it was like the ones in Star Trek.
"Good afternoon, mam."
She walks in and notices a male turned away from her, who had purple hair, pulled a low ponytail. To Phyllis, he looked like a buff dude with awesome abs, but when he turned around, Phyllis realized he had one huge gaping eye, and an unshaved, purple, stubbly beard as she gave a whimper of pure terror.
"Name?"
"Uh, Phyllis Fry... I guess?"
"My name is Leroy. It's New Years Eve, so I'd like to decide your fate quickly, and get out of here."
"Can I ask you a question?"
"As long as it's not about my eye." Leroy said, furrowing his one large unibrow.
"Uh…" Phyllis hesitated.
"Is it about my eye?"
"Sort of."
"Just ask the question."
"What's with the eye?" Phyllis blurted out.
"I'm an alien alright! Now lets drop the subject." Leroy growled.
"Cool! An alien! Has your race taken over the earth?"
"No, I just work here."
Phyllis looked out the window and saw a blimp that had the words, "Happy New Year!"
It then blinked the number "3000"
"Wait, is that blimp accurate?" Phyllis asked the purple-haired cyclops.
"Yep. It's December 31st, 2999." He said in a deep voice, punctuating each nine at the end of his sentence.
"Oh my God! A million years!" the redhead gasped.
"I'm sure this is very upsetting for you." he groaned uncharacteristically.
"You know, I should be sad, but I had nothing to live for in my old life. I was broke, I had a humiliating job, and I suspected my boyfriend might be cheating on me."
"Well, at least here you'll be treated with dignity." Leroy stated.
"Now strip naked and get on the probulator!"
Phyllis obeyed, and once she did, she covered all three parts of her womanhood with her hands, hovering above the table, feeling the most self conscious about herself than shes ever felt in her life.
Leroy was over by a panel, and pressed a button. Phyllis gave a yelp of surprise.
The cyclops then walked over to the still naked 23 year old, (who was still covering herself, thank God), as she sat up on the table, gathering her clothes.
"Your DNA test shows you have one living relative. She's your great-great-great-great-great..."
This continued until Phyllis was already dressed for a while before Leroy finished.
"...great-great-great niece."
"What's the little girl's name?" Phyllis asked.
"Professor Hannah Farnsworth."