What Wouldn't I Do

by I've got Rhythm in my Soul

We all know that Slade killed Oliver's mother: we were there, we saw it. But where was Felicity? What would she have done if she'd known? How would it have changed things? ...Since the writers cut out the fact that Felicity, whose home is literally the Foundry, would have probably still been within two feet of a computer, neurotically checking in on her family.

2. Part 2

Part 2

"What am I doing?"

Hands clenched so tightly around the wheel her knuckles were white in the honest darkness of night. "Oh God, what am I actually doing?" Her car swerved violently to the right. "Waah!" She righted just before her heart could burst free from her rib cage. "I've done someprettyeyebrow rising stuff in my life- seriously I have gone to that place that makes people raise their brows in extreme disapproval but this is just…" Whatever this 'just' was she stepped on the accelerator, anxiety pushing her to be reckless. Which was an impossibility in the universe of Felicity Smoak. Felicity Smoak didn't do 'reckless'.

Yet, her so-called 'plan' wasn't so much a plan as her basically… winging it. For lack of a better term. Just thinking about what she may have to do soon made her insides shrivel.

She'd shake her head at herself if her neck wasn't so stiff from over thinking the dangers of breaking the speed limit. As if remaining rigid in her seat would stop the car from inevitably crashing. This time I'm the idiot; I'm not a genius right now! Felicity Smoak is excused! How could this possibly work?! Even her thoughts trembled.

Following a curve on route she whispered to herself. "John, Ireallyneed your help right now."

I need to feel like this is going to end well.

She didn't feel secure.

Oliver…

She'd left Diggle a dozen texts. When he finally switched on his phone he was going to hate himself.Herphone was once again already by her ear: she couldn't help it. "Hey Dig? Yeah it's me. Felicity. Which you already, ah, know."Yep, my intelligence factor just crashed. "I'm tracking Thea's GPS. I sent you the coordinates in the text before the mail that's BEFOREthisvoice message. If I'm right and there's a big problem, some back-up would absolutely not go amiss. Yup, so I need you to come get me because I'm breaking just about every rule in your macho, army based, brotherhood rulebook right about now. And I meant that as a compliment." She took a breath biting her lip. "Love you John. If you can't make it and something does happen it wasn't your fault okay? But if you can make it, if you get this message…Hurry."

Turning her phone to silent she shoved it into the pocket of the grey hoodie and noticed she was already at her destination. It was a dirt road. The path progressed in a swirl ahead of her but the darkness made it impossible to see anything too far beyond the greenery. No other cars nearby, she'd have to go in further… but if there were anybody actually down there, if Oliver… if Oliver and his family were in danger…

She'd have to go by foot. Choose stealth over a few tonnes of metal shielding.

It was insane.Me against the bad guy.

Felicity breathed what felt like her second intake of air since she'd left the Foundry. "Oh, I'm a dead woman…"

That's what she'd said…

But if she was a dead woman she wasn't going down without a fight. Her car was parked a few hundred yards behind her and before leaving her baby there she'd taken a vital component or two out of the trunk. Felicity looked down at the large, black object in her hands and swallowed.

"…Never in any sane world did I think I'd be using this."

'This' being Helena's crossbow of vengeance.

They'd commandeered- I prefer commandeered to stolen even if it's not precise exactly- the item after Helena's arrest and it had sitting in the boot of Felicity's compact car ever since. For safe keeping. It wasn't as if she was ever going to use it. But seeing it again… after having it shoved in her face last year by the Huntress herself… it made her think… if maybe she could. Ifshe had to. One day. Maybe.

A weapon was a weapon and Felicity knew that she wasn't exactly a warrior woman like Sara or a motorcycle riding, crossbow toting predator, or an assassin… she wasn't dangerous, with extra emphasis on the 'danger' part… like Oliver. Or prepared and capable like Diggle. Or even street smart and physically agile like Roy, no she was Felicity.

His IT girl. Superior physicality didn't play well with computer genius.

…She just thought it might come in handy.

Nobody had realised she'd taken it; not even Oliver who, with eyes like the hawk he sometimes was, had glanced over to her with his querying gaze after he'd seen her staring solemnly at the footage of Helena's arrest and subsequent interrogation.

No… she hadn't wanted him to see her take it. It was silly, right? Not in any place in her life had Felicity wanted to be that way, like those Kung-Fu goddesses on TV, because she knew no matter how hard she tried it would never happen. Ever.'Felicity' wasn't Sara, wasn't Helena or Laurel or Isabel or Shado or even Mckenna. She was Felicity Smoak: MIT, class of 09.

It wasn't as if she'd never wished she could be like that. Of course I haven't. I mean I can't even use it properly…

Well…

That wasn't, ah, entirely true.

Her lips pressed together, heartbeat racing as she drew closer to 'wherever' within the foliage.

…If Oliver ever found out about her after hours practice with this super lethal looking crossbow… or his, ahem, actual longbowbow… oh boy.

He'd probably lose it. For sure. He'd never before approved of the idea of her going out into the field. But it had been a little addictive. And soothing! Soothing's good, right? And it wasn't even about the shooting arrows thing - who wants to actually hurt people anyway - no it had been about the mechanics of it. She liked using her fingers – though that sounds increasing dirty and I would very much like to go revise that particular 'like' of mine for future vernacular purposes but now is absolutely not the right time - About how she had to actually clean the crank mechanism and bowstring, about how when she pulled it back, locking it into position with its surprisingly dainty trigger mechanism, she had felt each and every muscle in her arms flex. How after two nights of practice her biceps had felt like dead weights and she'd been surprised by that. Who knew?

Now, in the crossbow's taut string was a bolt filled with Pit-Viper venom. A second sat beneath it. A last resort. She'd loaded both bolts after leaving her car, awed by her audacity - she'd decide if it was courage later: right now her brain moved towards stupidity - and feeling incredibly clumsy, her fingers fumbling with the clasps, by the sheer knowing of it all. That she may actually have to use it. By definition alone that made her…

I'm an archer. I can't believe I'm actually an archer.

I can't believe I'm actuallyconsideringthis.She practically tiptoed forwards.I-I mean this all could be for nothing. "Felicity Smoak over-reacted.It could happen."Her insides cringed. She sounded like a child. A scared child."Oh, I wasn't built for this."

She remained as quiet as her pumps would allow her to be, her arms grazing the tall leafy things about her person, I may be smart but I'm not a plant encyclopaedia.She couldn't see anyone. Or hear a soul. They might not even be here, they might be fine…

…Might be. Possibly.

There was a breach up ahead where the dirt path intersected with the greenery again. Blonde pieces covered her vision so she brushed back the fallen pieces of her hair behind her ear. This also wasn't exactly the time to visit a mirror. Moving forwards she could see the pathetic excuse for a road now. Her hand reached for a collection of leaves and branches that pronged out from the thick coverage, blocking her path. They might not even be-

-Light hit her in the face and she recoiled, stumbling backwards and cringing as twigs cracked under foot. It was artificial… the light from a car?

"…Youpsychopath."

She stopped breathing, stiffening…Oliver?

"Shado…Shadowasn't yours!"

Oh God… Anxiety shot up her spine, eyes searching about her and she was already leaning forwards carefully, her sense of self-preservation – where had it vanished in the first place - kicking in at the last moment, to see around the bush-thingy.

And what she saw made her want to cry.

He had them. Moira, Thea and…

Oliver. He was on his knees.

No. She almost dropped the crossbow in the urge to cover her mouth but she held on tight; a silent scream forced back down her gullet.

Why do I always have to be right?

He had them all on their knees, tied with rope and tethered to each other through fear. And there he was, Slade Wilson, stalking about them like an overlarge crow and at least ten different kinds of frightening. Against the car light he stood dark before them and she managed to glimpse Oliver again as Slade moved. He looked the most incapacitated: she had a clear shot of the blood on his forehead, black rope around his torso (Slade obviously hadn't taken any chances) as he half knelt but attempted to sit/stand and she felt actual pain in her chest when he failed.

His body wobbled, fighting with its current in-equal centre of gravity before falling, stumbling on his side. Always fighting. But his eyes…

Oliver's eyes were screaming. Horrified. His voice harsh and full of pain like he knew what was coming.

"That's not what happened!" The words seem to claw their way out of his mouth.

Slade moved forwards into his space, past Moira who, though Felicity could only see the back off, appeared to be shaking. Like Thea, who was crying. "It is what happened! It is!" He was blocking her view of Oliver. She could hear the spit fly past his lips in his vehemence. "She told me." And then he pointed behind him.

To nothing.

What?She couldn't help the puzzled frown that broke over her horrified expression. He was delusional now? Was this the Mirakuru or was he simply that far gone? She moved closer, silently, listening.

Oliver's words echoed her thoughts. "What do you mean; 'she'." He sounded desperate and confused and pushed. To. The. Limit. Slade just moved away from him again, as if entranced by the woman only he could see and Oliver seemed to crack for a moment. "THERE'S NOBODY THERE!"

She saw him again. Angry and pale and despairing and terrified. All she could do was stare and the second stretched out into eternity until…

"…You were on the island. With Oliver."

Moira. The sheer awfulness of the idea that Oliver had been with this psychopath, alone, for who knows how long shone through the older woman's voice. Shame, the guilt and all the horror Oliver continuously revealed without fail at every mention of his time on the island flashed through his features. At his mother's words… he couldn't even look at her.

It was that that made Felicity remember she had a plan. Because she would die again and again rather than see Oliver's disgust for himself for being a human. For doing what he had to do. For surviving. For making it home. For going back to Starling. For meeting me.

"I thought I had known true despair, until I met your son."

Hearing his family choke on their breaths and tears had Felicity frantically reaching inside her fleece for her mobile she felt bile rise in her stomach. Don't you dare Moira. Don't you dare be looking at him like that -Her fingers working over the touchscreen - with any kind of suspicion or disbelief or wonder at the man he'd had to be. Don't believe Slade for a second. You'll kill your son if you do.

Slade continued to speak, painting his canvas of perverted justice. "I trusted him to make the right choice."

Felicity's finger hovered over the call button but she waited, the timing needs to be perfect – I'll only get one shot at this, her hand shook but she waited.

"Then let me make the right choice now." Biting her lip, unaware it was bleeding, her eyes widened and her head shook slowly from side to side. Oliver's ragged breaths were hurting her. "Kill me."

No!A whimper left Felicity involuntarily but successive shouts from Thea and Moira covered it.

"No!"

"No!"

But Oliver didn't listen. Those beautiful blue eyes staring at Slade pleading, please, and getting nowhere. "Choose me! Please!"

"I am killing you Oliver. Only more slowly than you'd like."

Even from where she stood she could see Oliver had started to cry –oh god- could hear it in his voice. "…Don't."

I can't…

"Choose."

Her heart was racing, pounding, everything in her view tipping sideways, but she couldn't do anything yet. His gun was pointed at the back of Thea's head. One small mistake, one itchy trigger finger and… he needed to move. Move.

Channel Dig. My inner Sara. Who should be here…

"NO! NO! ...Mom?"

Felicity blinked, aware she'd passed through a minor anxiety attack and stilled, stunned as Moira began to stand.

Thea wailed, "Mom, what are you doing?!"

And Slade's gun moved… towards Moira who was on her feet… but nowhere near as high… nowhere near…

Oliver was crying, shouting. Shaking. Staring in disbelief and anguish as she stood to die.

And that was all it took really to bring Felicity out of hiding. No thought of how stupid this was, no idea of how strong and fast and brilliant Slade was allowed more than basic awareness. Please let this work.

Slade let the pistol drop, moving closer to Moira. "You possess true-"

-Felicity's finger pressed down on the touchscreen and almost immediately Thea's phone began to sing.

Slade's head whipped in Thea's direction.

Felicity moved, already passing the bush, and the car from where the lights had shone, striding with a confidence that wasn't hers, the crossbow aiming directly at Slade's neck.

Everything slowed to a crawl.

Her brilliant pumps didn't make a sound and she saw everything clearly: Thea's slumped back, her hair framing her face as she faced forwards, Moira's look of pure shock as the woman stared at the sight of Felicity Smoak, there with them, carrying a crossbow and, just for a moment, what astonishment looked like in Oliver Queen's eyes.

In front of Slade who'd paused briefly to frown at Thea's pocket, Oliver's stare fixed gapingly at her. His body bowed forwards in his struggle with gravity – probably hurt a rib, she'd check later – he had his head directed at her, his lips slightly parted as he gasped for breath, for reprieve from this nightmare and it was all fuel for Felicity's sliding tunnel vision. But before she took true aim her peripheral glimpsed blue and she couldn't not look at him. Deep, deep eyes were already wide with the situation but the emotion in them was so honest and extensive, filled with disbelief and … a different kind of terror.

His mouth moved -

Felicity…

No, no what are you doing?

What are you doing here?

Get away. Get away from him, from this.

But she couldn't feel it. Not right now. Not as Slade whirled around, sensing her presence and seeing Oliver's expression, hearing as the man's lips whispered that plea.

She saw the eye patch, his other eye narrowing in confusion, heard the click of the automatic in his grasp, his arm coming up-

The first bolt flew straight into his neck.

He looked absolutely dumbfounded. And he wasn't alone in that, I Did I really just- He didn't make a sound. Moira actually screamed which had Thea scrambling as far away from the man as she could possibly get. Good.

"Thea, get behind me!" Oliver yelled and though she couldn't look at him again, suddenly it was an Arrow mission. Except this time Felicity was on point.

The jolt of the arrow and the surprise of the attack had Slade staggering sideways. Which was really awesome as the gun went off a single second after she'd fired.

She felt the bullet whiz past her face.

"FELICITY!"

Oliver… Fright launched up her spine and she dropped the crossbow but started to run anyway. At Slade. Right into his path, her fingers scrambling for purchase on the other venom filled bolt in her pocket - always carry spares – she didn't even have time to spare a thought for how insane this was though Oliver was making up for it with his shouts that couldn't be heard over the pounding of her heartbeat because then she was there, slipping beneath his shaking arm and slamming the bolt home beneath the first one. It had taken two before and two with Roy. She felt the arrow penetrate his skin, liquid warmth spitting across her knuckles and yelped when he snarled in her face. But then his eyes drooped and she began to feel the smallest amount of relief-

His free arm hit fast and hard across her right cheek.

Oh, ouch. She flew backwards, body spinning around in flight so that when she landed it was face first, grimacing. She felt like her eye was going to explode.

"Felicity! Felicity, talk to me!"

Suddenly she realised her back was to Slade and twisted round to look at him. He was already on the ground, face up, eyes closed.

"I… I can't believe it worked." Her whisper was wobbly, shaky.

"Felicity, I swear to God, LOOK AT ME!"

She jumped where she lay, eyes shooting towards her hero and felt herself take in two giant breaths.

He was staring at her; scared and upset and relieved. His eyes had that pull to them again, the one she felt from time to time that she allowed herself to be dragged into, like they were anywhere else but here. And they both stayed there. Looking at each other. Breathing and looking at each other. It took him a moment to speak and when he did his voice was terribly unsteady. "…Are you okay?"

She just nodded. "I am so done with being brave right now."

He started to shake his head, unable to find the humour amongst the general despair and anguish he'd been feeling. "What… what the hell are you doing here?!" His voice cracked.

Her eyes said everything to him and his closed briefly before again, fixing her with that far too penetrating stare. She had no idea what he was trying to say to her.

Thea, who had been gazing at Slade's fallen form, turned to look at her. "You rang my phone?"

"I couldn't think of anything else."

In another display of character so uncharacteristic of her, Moira let out a disbelieving, nervous, speechless and broken laugh. Tears followed them.

She pushed upwards, felt herself moving much faster than normal and realised she still under the influence of a massive adrenaline rush. As Moira was closest she approached her first, taking out the last of her spare bolts and using them to cut at the bonds wrapped around the woman's wrists. Her hands were shaking. All the while Ms Queen watched her daughter and son, something close to wonder in her gaze. By the time her rope was cut Thea was standing, moving towards her mother, desperate for contact and pushing into her personal space so that her mother could wrap her arms around her.

Felicity felt like she was intruding and deciding she'd get to Thea's bonds later, went instead to Oliver who still hadn't moved.

When she turned towards him she caught blue eyes watching her and hers flickered away and down, towards his middle where the black rope was double twisted. She lowered herself in front of him and reached for it-

"Felicity."

His voice killed her.

The way he said her name, like it was a whole sentence or a paragraph wasn't new to her. She'd gotten used to it, even though it wasn't exactly fair of him to use it like that, like a weapon on her soul. How it changed her each time he did it.

But his tone spoke a whole new language. And it rocked her to the core.

Like he needed to feel her name, like a physical touch. To grasp onto something tangible and hold it close. But his arms were pinned. Her eyes finally sought his and she felt water gather behind them.

He looked wrecked. Anger, pain, disbelief, shock, love, need, weariness and it was all aimed. At. Her.

Frack.