Author's note: The song for this chapter is Christina Perri - Human

I'm Only Human

Trielle

I was really starting to believe that there was some kind of global conspiracy against me ever getting laid. Granted, it hadn't been the best idea in the world to try and accomplish the deed out in the middle of the Capital Wasteland, surrounded by god knows what, but no one ever said that I was exactly smart when it came to sex. Harkness would never know, but working up the courage to seduce him again was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I'd never really been one to take the lead in sexual matters, especially given my track record in that area, but I urgently needed to know if he could even have those kinds of feelings. I hadn't expected him to grab me quite like that, but like old lady Palmer used to say, you reap what you sow, and boy had I been about to reap a hell of a harvest, until circumstances intervened…again.

Harkness had gone out to make sure that nothing else was sneaking up on us, with the tacit agreement that we wouldn't be continuing tonight's activities. I understood his reasoning, but my body was much less understanding, screaming for release. I would have done something about that, but with Harkness due back at any time, and the sudden realization that there was zero privacy out here, I just didn't feel comfortable easing my tension. So I straightened my clothes and hair, stirred the fire, and sat on my bedroll with my plasma rifle –his plasma rifle; the best gift I had ever been given—cradled in my lap, trying not to look like a sex-starved lunatic.

I had managed to calm down a little by the time he made it back to camp, and I wasn't really surprised when he sat down on his own bedroll, clear across the fire from me.

"Elle," he said nervously, "about tonight…"

"It's okay," I sighed. "I shouldn't have tried to provoke you into a reaction, not out here where it's not safe, not when we're on a mission."

He looked gratified that I hadn't thrown a fit, but his next words were enough to throw me into a serious depression.

"I think we need to slow things down for a while," he said tautly. "Look," he said, forestalling anything I had been about to say, "it's not that I don't like you and think you're incredibly sexy, because I do." He swallowed hard. "I do like you…a lot, and I want to get to know everything about you, and yes, finally finish what we keep starting and make you scream my name."

"But?" I asked. "There's going to be a 'but' in that statement somewhere."

"But I think we both have too much baggage to make things work right now," he said uncomfortably. "I…I've been using humor as a shield between us, to keep from talking about what's really bothering me. I'm still extraordinarily conflicted about my android origin. Christ," he exclaimed, rubbing a hand tiredly over his eyes, "I still can't believe that you want anything to do with me after finding that out! I'm not even human," he growled.

"Bullshit!" I snapped, startling him with my vehemence. "You're more human than almost anyone else I know. More human than any of these raiders or Talon Company assholes, that's for sure." He looked skeptical, so I continued. "Being human isn't about how you were created, or what your insides are made out of, it's about how you act, what you do with your life, how you care." He shook his head. "You care about the people of Rivet City; you go through hell to keep them safe and don't ask for anything in return. That's what makes you human, regardless of whether you were born or put together in a lab somewhere."

"Thanks, Elle," he said softly. "It means a lot to me that you think that way. You have such a simple way of looking at things; I wish I was capable of seeing life in such black and white terms."

"I see shades of gray too," I said gently, "but your humanity isn't an issue for me."

"But it is to me," he said regretfully. "I need to work through what I am before I can start thinking about what we are. You need to find your dad and resolve your issues with him, and I can't help feeling like it's my fault that you keep getting sidetracked from that goal."

"It's not your fault," I said. "You needed help, and I was happy to give it, and despite the fact that I miss Dad something terrible, I think I'm stalling because I'm worried about what will happen when I do find him. Does that make me a bad daughter?" I asked apprehensively.

"Elle," he groaned, standing up and coming around the fire to sit next to me. "No, that doesn't make you a bad daughter," he chuckled, putting his arm around my shoulders. "It only makes you human, as you just now reminded me, but it does mean that you need to get some stuff off your chest, in regards to your father, before you can think about anything else. So, I suggest that we get some rest now so that we aren't dead tired when we take on those assassins. Are you still tracking them?"

I looked at my Pip-Boy. "Yes," I replied. "They're still moving, but if we leave at dawn, we should be able to intercept them a couple of hours later, maybe even set up an ambush for them."

He squeezed my shoulders in a friendly manner. "Then that's what we'll do. Goodnight, Elle. Try to get some sleep," he said, then got up and went back to his own bedroll, turning resolutely away from me.

I sighed gustily and wriggled into my own sleeping bag, pulling my plasma rifle in with me. "And there's hard-assed Chief Harkness again, and we're back to square one," I muttered to myself, not caring if he heard me. Despite the fact that he said he found me sexy and wanted a relationship of some sort, despite the fact that he hadn't pushed me away completely, it was still the longest fucking night I had ever spent not sleeping.