Author's note: The song for this chapter is Naughty Boy feat Sam Smith - La, La, La.

The Birds and The Bees

Trielle

After all the hoopla with Harkness' origins and dealing with the android assassins that damn near killed me, it was almost a relief to go back to my search for Dad. It wasn't normal, by any means, to be searching for one's runaway father in the Capital Wasteland, but it was more normal than what had recently been thrown at me. I needed to put some distance between myself and Harkness for a while, just so I didn't spend every waking hour restraining myself from dragging him to my room at the Weatherly and ripping all his clothes off, despite his assertion that we needed to slow things down and deal with our own personal issues before thinking about continuing any sort of relationship.

Per Doctor Li's directions, I found myself at the Jefferson Memorial, searching for any signs of my father amongst a massive supermutant infestation. I hadn't really expected to find Dad still at the site of the former Project Purity, but I can't say that the larger part of me wasn't disappointed that he wasn't waiting for me the minute I walked in the door. I found a number of his holotape journals, both from recently and from twenty years ago when my parents and Doctor Li first attempted to purify all the water in the wasteland, as well as one recording that I would treasure forever.

I had stumbled across a holotape labeled 'Better Days' in what had obviously been Dad's living quarters, and had popped it into my Pip Boy idly, just to fight the sudden bout of loneliness. I never suspected I would hear what came out of the speakers…my mother's voice! I was so stunned that I had to sit down and play it back several times to be sure of what I was listening to. But there was no doubt in my mind after five or so replays; I was hearing the voice of my mother, Catherine, for the first time in my life, and it sounded like she and my father were getting ready to engage in some…amorous activities. It shouldn't really have surprised me, except that at that moment I realized I was getting just a glimpse of what they must have been to each other, and I was so excited to hear the voice of the woman who had birthed me, too busy examining every nuance of her speech and comparing it to mine, that I had no time to be embarrassed at what surely must have occurred after the recording was turned off.

The other holotapes I found were pretty straightforward. Dad mentioned that he had set off toward a hidden vault somewhere west of Jury Street metro station and Evergreen Mills, Vault 112, concealed beneath a garage of some sort. I'd already cleared out both of those areas, encountering and killing a super mutant Behemoth in each place, so going through a quieter part of the wasteland was a nice change from fighting off homicidal androids and hordes of Talon Company mercs. The place was so nondescript that I nearly walked right past it, even though I knew what I was looking for, but something told me to stop and check out the derelict building. Aside from killing some mole rats in the basement of the garage before I entered the actual vault, the place was surprisingly deserted. All the other vaults I had visited so far had been filled with some kind of horror that was out for my blood, from insane survivors pumped full of hallucinogenic gas in one vault, to murderous clones named Gary in another, so I was on my guard.

I wandered the empty halls of Vault 112 and wondered what could have brought Dad to such a desolate place. There were no signs of habitation, but the place just didn't feel right, a palpable feeling of despair hanging in the corridors. Dad had mentioned some Vault-Tec genius named Doctor Braun who was supposed to have been a resident of this vault, some two hundred years ago, but this long after the Great War, I wasn't sure what he was hoping to find. I finally made my way into the large center chamber of the vault, where the dining hall and recreation areas should be, and found a number of pods of some sort, clustered in a ring around a large computer system that seemed to be feeding them information. Slowly going from one pod to the next and peering through the glass at their occupants, I was shocked to find Dad occupying one of the pods. His eyes were open, and he blinked occasionally, but his attention was firmly focused on the screen in front of his face, and no matter how hard I pounded on the glass, he didn't appear to acknowledge my presence.

"Excuse me," a soft, robotic voice said from behind me. I whipped around, magnum in hand, to find a robobrain behind me, possibly the first one I had encountered that wasn't trying to kill me on sight. I had been so distracted trying to free Dad from that damned pod that the robot had snuck up on me. "Your arrival is two hundred two point three years behind schedule," it continued. "You must put this on to enter the Tranquility Loungers." It handed me a familiar blue and yellow vault suit, emblazoned with 112 on the back, and began to trundle away.

"Wait!" I called after it. "My father's in one of these, what did you call them, Tranquility Loungers? How do I get him out of there?"

"You must be properly attired in your Vault-Tec issued vault suit to enter the Tranquility Loungers," it repeated and turned away from me to go about its robotic business.

"Oh fuck this noise!" I exclaimed, but the robot ignored me. "Well, shit," I muttered. "Guess I don't have a choice here." I removed my armor, hanging it neatly in a nearby locker, and began slowly donning the vault suit. Aside from a different vault number on the back, it was identical to the one I used to wear in Vault 101, the one I hadn't worn since leaving my home vault. As I zipped it up, the familiar feeling of the fabric on my skin triggered an immediate rush of memories: Butch and his gang tormenting me, seeing Jonas lying dead on the floor, all the security guards I'd had to kill on my way out of the vault, and various other traumas I'd tried so hard to forget in the months since I escaped Vault 101. It was so overwhelming that I threw up my meager lunch in one violent heave, bent over nearly double and clutching my aching midsection.

"Cleanup on aisle five," I joked weakly, rinsing my mouth out with a bottle of water while trying to control my shaking hands. Once properly attired, I searched the vault for any other way to free my father, but to no avail. It looked like I would have to enter one of the pods to find a way to get Dad out of whatever was keeping him in there, and if I had to wear the damned vault suit to do it, so be it.

What I found in the pod wasn't at all what I had expected. I was drawn into a simulation of a pre-war suburban neighborhood, complete with white picket fences. Doctor Braun, still alive after all these years, had disguised himself as a psychotic little girl named Betty, and refused to tell me where Dad was unless I helped him torment the other vault residents who also resided in the simulation. I wasn't about to do anything the egotistical bastard wanted, even to find Dad, but one of the vault's residents, old lady Dithers, told me there was a failsafe that would free them all from the simulation. What she didn't tell me was that the failsafe was a recreation of a Chinese invasion, and that it was only freeing the vault dwellers by killing them, a poor kind of freedom if you ask me, but it seemed to be what they all wanted, so I went along with it. The failsafe had the added bonus of trapping Doctor Braun in the simulation by himself, as he was unable to be killed by anything in the simulation. It was poetic justice, leaving the man to rot in his own simulation for however many centuries the power held out, and I did manage to get some information from him before exiting, such as the fact that Dad had been in the simulation all along, disguised as a dog named Doc. I could have kicked myself for not figuring out the obvious pun, but I was too busy getting the hell out of Doctor Braun's nightmare factory for self-recriminations.

I would have thought that Dad would be happier to see me, since I had just freed him from an eternity spent scratching virtual fleas, but in the months since his departure from Vault 101, I had conveniently forgotten some of the less flattering aspects of my father's character. He was all business when he stepped out of the Tranquility Lounger, raring to get back to the business of purifying all the water in the Capital Wasteland as soon as possible. I admired his dedication to a cause, but a hug would have been nice after we'd been separated for six months. I settled for second best, as I'd always wanted to work with him. Dad told me he wanted me with him when he finally realized Mom's dream of clean water for everyone, as if he could have kept me away, and said he was heading back to Rivet City to talk to Doctor Li. I pleaded prior commitments and told him I'd meet up with him as soon as I could. I suppose I could have gone with him straight away, but I was hurt by his lack of caring, and needed a little time to put my façade back in place and hide my bruised feelings.

I stopped by Megaton on my way back to Rivet City, ostensibly to gear up, but really to spend some time cuddling a dog who actually did give a crap if I lived or died. Dogmeat was predictably ecstatic to see me, despite the fact that Harden Simms and Maggie Creel had been spoiling him rotten while I was gone, and his devotion was a balm to my abused ego. I also checked on Brian Wilks, who I'd brought to Megaton to live with Lucas Simms temporarily while I arranged for him to live with his aunt in Rivet City. Lucas had been treating Brian like his own, and it was good to see the traumatized boy coming out of his shell after everything that had happened to him. I sent him off to Rivet City with Lucky Harith's caravan, figuring that a man who owned so many guns could take care of one little boy between Megaton and Rivet City, and not wanting Brian subjected to the grueling pace I would be setting to make up for my detour. Lucas, bless his heart, gave Brian a buck knife that was almost bigger than he was, and promised to visit once Brian got settled with his aunt Vera.

I got back to Rivet City just as Dad was waiting for Security to extend the bridge, and felt perverse satisfaction that he hadn't had to wait on me to get right back to work. Harkness came down the bridge to meet us, and I introduced Dad, hoping he wouldn't notice how Harkness' eyes lingered on certain parts of my anatomy.

"Harkness, this is my dad, Doctor James Miraven. Dad, this is Harkness. He's the chief of security for Rivet City and a…friend."

"Doctor Miraven, nice to finally meet you." Harkness shook Dad's hand with a cool professionality that I envied. "You've raised a fine daughter. Elle's been a real help to everyone in Rivet City." His eyes met mine as he spoke, and I couldn't suppress the shiver that ran through me from the force of his gaze.

"Nice to meet you as well, Harkness, was it?" Dad replied. "I'm glad to hear that my little girl's been keeping herself out of trouble."

I snickered quietly at that, as trouble was literally the last thing I'd been keeping myself out of, and even Harkness couldn't quite suppress a grin at the irony of Dad's words, but he managed to hold it together better than I did.

"Something like that," was all he said. "Sorry to cut this short, but I've got to get back to it. Bannon and Seagrave are fighting again, and they might tear the entire marketplace apart if I don't go break up their little catfight. Elle, I'll see you later." Harkness turned on his heel to go, and I made to follow him, but Dad put a hand on my arm to restrain me.

"Trielle, are you having…relations with Mister Harkness?" It took him a while to get the words out.

"It's…complicated," I sighed. "And it's just Harkness, not Mister Harkness."

Dad ran his hand over his face tiredly. "I was hoping you'd be much older before I had to give you this talk. Honey, when a man and a woman love each other very much…"

"Dad!" I held up my hand to stop him, but he just continued as if I hadn't spoken.

"A man puts his…parts into a woman's…parts and…oh how I wish your mother was here to tell you this."

"Dad, seriously!" I barked. "I know all about the birds and the bees."

"And when the man…ejaculates inside of the woman, nine months later a baby is born."

"Daaaaad!" I shrieked, mortified beyond all belief. I covered my ears to stop his torrent of words from working their way into my brain. "La, la, la, I can't hear you!" All the maturity I'd acquired over the last six months of being on my own was completely destroyed by a few words from my father that I could never un-hear, and he'd reduced me to acting like I was five again.

"Unless the man and the woman use protection," he continued. "You are protected, aren't you, Trielle?"

Though muffled, I could still hear his question, and took my hands away from my ears long enough to roll my eyes so hard I almost passed out. "Yeah, Dad," I said sarcastically. "I've got a .44 magnum right here." I pulled out my hand cannon and waggled it at him.

"That's not what I meant…" he started, then realized that I hadn't been serious. "Very funny, dear, but I was being..."

"Dad…dad…dad!" I interrupted him. "I'm nineteen. You don't have to worry about it. I…," My next words were cut off by a nasty feedback squeal that had me covering my ears again, this time in physical pain rather than mental. I went over to examine the source of the horrible noise and discovered that, naturally, the button for the intercom had gotten stuck down in the broadcast position…which meant that the entirety of Rivet City had just heard the Lone Wanderer's father lecturing her about where babies come from. I thought my head might explode as I hit the button repeatedly to get it unstuck, when Dad came over and put his arm around my shoulders in the hug I'd been dying to receive since I found him. It wasn't much of a hug, but I'd take what I could get, and it was a balm for my wounded soul, at least until Dad leaned over.

"But, honey," he whispered in my ear, "you know he's not human, right?"

"Daaaaaaaad!"