Chapter 13- Oh, What a Wizard Will do for Power

There are a lot of powerful forces in the Legend of Zelda universe. Powerful magic, powerful people, powerful places. The most powerful source of magic is the goddesses, no buts about it. But what is the most powerful place? Where in this universe does magic thrive in unimaginable quantities? Some would argue Hyrule in general. But what happens to those too powerful for Hyrule to handle? Wherever they go must be where the most powerful magic is. At least, this is what Wizzro believes.

Curious to find out, Wizzro does a little research in his spare time, instead of practicing battle strategies like Volga suggested. Oh Volga, always concentrated on proving his might. What Volga doesn't realize is that Wizzro's loyalty to Cia is a hoax. Serving under a master or mistress is humiliating, at least in Wizzro's opinion. He has served under Cia for far too long, and is ready for some changes around here.

The reason Wizzro submits himself to following the strongest competitor is so he can learn their secrets. This has been his strategy for a very long time, so take that, Volga. If he can learn their weaknesses and defeat the strongest of the competition, he's automatically stronger than everyone else, putting him on the top of the power pyramid. The only thing higher is the gods, but Wizzro is focusing on mortal powers for now. Besting the gods is his next life goal.

Returning to the overall scheme, Wizzro has asked the question "where is the most powerful magic harvested" and has started digging to find the answer. Old texts have revealed many things. Each era of time has had some effect, however major or minor it may be, on this great war. He would have never guessed that the warriors he has been fighting are from many generations back. Most of them are considered ancestors by now. Zant claims to be around forty years of age, but according to Wizzro's studies, he's really several hundred years of age because of the massive time jump. The same goes for most of the other warriors. Whereas Link, Impa, Zelda, and Lana are all from the current time era, the warriors who came from other eras of time all together are from many years back.

Though it took many painstaking hours of research, Wizzro finally found what he was looking for. He bonks himself in the head, figuring that he should have just guessed the answer. The Twilight Realm. It was so obvious that it flew right over his head. He should have betrayed Cia during the battle against the forces of the twilight, then the power could have been his for the taking. But that is all in the past, and it is a new day.

…

Today is the day. It took Wizzro three hours the day before to conjure up this scheme, but if this works, it will be worth missing Cia's interpretive dance class. (Watching Cia's poor performances are always a blast.) His plans to just sneak away are ruined when Cia tells her minions that she needs to go over her newest battle plan with them. It takes forever for Cia to explains plans. Wizzro doesn't have time for this. He needs a distraction.

"Hey Volga, I need to see you for a second," Wizzro states. He then motions for Volga to follow him. They enter the next keep over, far enough that Cia can't overhear the conversation.

"What do you want this time?" Volga asks with an exasperated tone. The wizard doesn't ask for favors very often, but when he does, it's Volga that always ends up getting the worse end of the deal.

"I'm on a mission. I cannot stay to listen to Cia's rambling. I need you to keep her busy," Wizzro responds.

Volga crosses his arms. "What do you mean by keeping her busy? I'm not going to engage in senseless battle with her, if that's what you mean. We have a battle we need to be ready and rested for."

Wizzro shakes his head. He says, "Just keep her focused on talking about her plan. The longer she doesn't notice my absence, the better."

"What's in this for me?"

OH. Wizzro didn't think Volga would ask for something in return. He doesn't usually ask for anything in return, except for maybe peace and quiet. What does Wizzro have to offer?

"I… will owe you one favor if you do this. Anything at all," Wizzro offers. He knows this offer is risky, but if his overall plan succeeds, he'll be powerful enough to take out Cia with ease, let alone dishonor this agreement with Volga and be safe.

Volga grins, apparently pleased with the offer. "I think I will take you up on that." They shake hands on it. Step zero: distract Cia, is complete.

…

Midna wasn't expecting a surprise attack. Wizzro's forces simply snuck into the palace and attacked. She hastily rallies her troops and strikes back.

Midna calls to the opposing forces. "Cia! That sneak attack was low, even for you!"

"Hiya ha ha! You think Cia is in charge of this monster brigade?"

Midna is aghast. "Wizzro!"

"It took you long enough."

Wizzro remembers the first time here at Twilight Palace. Midna was a real pest and trapped Cia in the castle. He was protecting the allied base and barely toughed it out. Well, that isn't going to happen this time! If he can lure Midna out of the castle, he can surround her and take her down. Once she's down and out, he can take the Sols and become more powerful than he's ever been before. The plan is perfect!

Now, how is he going to lure Midna out of her palace? Is it possible to come up behind her and push her, or will he be forced to wipe out her forces until she runs to their rescue herself? He might as well try the first option, and if that doesn't work, the second option it is.

Lisalfos are sent through both side entrances of the palace. Midna sends her forces to counter them, as well as some down the middle to storm Wizzro's base. She quickly realizes that Wizzro has one tactical advantage; his forces are on the offense, and therefore do not need a base. They will be up and running until their commander is defeated. This poses a problem, considering that she is protecting a base.

Another thing to consider is the true mastermind behind the opposing forces. Is Wizzro truly the commander, or is someone else pulling the strings in the shadows? Well, there is only one way to find out. Midna pulls on her taunting/confident demeanor and says, "Alrighty, I'm going to give you two options. You can pack up your forces and leave now, or I'll have to come get you myself. It's your choice, Wizzro."

UH, yeah, that first option is not happening. But perhaps he can use her threat to his advantage, the second part at least. He too plasters a confident smirk on his face. "Hold onto that hat of yours, because my forces are going blow you off your feet!" he taunts.

"The horns it is. No more Ms. Nice Midna!" And she means it. Using her Twilight abilities, she hides a couple of keeps in the shadows, shrouding Wizzro's outside vision of them. Most of Wizzro's forces require sight to attack, so the impending darkness makes them nervous. Wizzro doesn't take "I'm scared" for an answer and orders his forces to enter the darkness despite their concerns. Though reluctant, his forces obey.

Wizzro sending his forces into the darkness was a mistake, and their bloodshed is his fault. Midna scoffs. She expected more. She taunts, "See? That's what happens when you enter the darkness without a light."

Both prideful and determined, Wizzro straightens his ring and summons more forces. "You may be strong now, but let's see how long that strength will last. An endurance test, if you will," he retorts.

Wave after wave, Midna's forces battle hard against Wizzro's forces. It seems as if his forces will never stop coming. Despite the sheer quantity of enemies, Midna's forces continue to fight for their commander. Midna watches from her base as her forces start to struggle and fall. At the same time, Wizzro starts to grow weary from summoning a large quantity of monsters. Magic is hard work.

Finally, after a good thirty minutes or so, the last of Midna's forces are forced to retreat to the base. Midna can't blame them; they did all that they could for as long as they could.

Wizzro, rejuvenated by this small victory, brainstorms a before-ultimate-victory taunt. "Hiya ha ha! You're already giving up? I've just started!"

Midna scowls. The nerve of that guy. She says, "Fine then. Come, and bring your entire army! We will defend this realm with our very souls!"

"You're going to need more than just your souls to defeat me, Midna," Wizzro proudly states. He teleports to the outside of Midna's base. His army backs him up.

Midna levitates in the very middle of her base with her head held high and her back straight. Her scowl shows her one fang. She growls and asks, "What do you want from us? What do you hope to gain?"

Wizzro chuckles quietly to himself, malicious in every way possible. "Power. Your realm is a rich producing farm of dark magic."

Midna is even angrier, now. Men and their desire for power; it's sickening. She asks, "Is that what this is all about? My forces have suffered because of your greed?!"

"Outraging, I know. If I had just walked in and asked for the Sols, I would have been rejected. Using brute force was my only option. It was also the fun option, so here we are."

"You're cold, greedy heart is reflected by your appearance," Midna mumbles, so angry that trying to speak normally would result in her screaming.

"You and me both." AH, a classic, hateful retort. Midna doesn't have to use words to show that she's utterly offended; her facial expression says it all.

Before Wizzro strikes the final blow, there is an intervention from behind. The Usurper King plows into Wizzro's forces, grabbing all attention in the process.

Midna and Wizzro speak in united shock, "Zant?!"

Zant stops spinning, hopping on one foot to keep his balance. He faces the warriors. He straightens his clothes, clears his throat, and says very firmly, "If anybody is going to take over this realm, it's me."

"So… whose side are you on?" Midna asks, scratching her head in the process.

Zant flinches. "I'm on your side! How was that not clear?"

"OH! Sorry, I'm just used to you being against me."

"Whoa whoa whoa, so let me get this straight," Wizzro interrupts. "So you two are going to work together to save your realm?" The response is two nods; one from Midna, and one from Zant. Well, this wasn't part of the plan.

…

"AAAAHHGGG! Uncle!"

Zant laughs, feeling victorious. "Don't bother calling for help. We'll just destroy your uncle, too!"

"It means I give up, you idiot," Wizzro mutters in a mix of anger and exhaustion. He's been lacerated, punctured, and almost incinerated once. Link has been smacked in the face by Lana's ponytail, but the sting of Lana's ponytail is nothing compared to being smashed by Midna's super hair. It's one thing to battle Midna one-on-one, but when Zant fights alongside her, it's a whole different story.

Zant sits on Argorok. He summoned his dragon and used it for most of the fight. Yes, summoning Argorok was a little excessive for just defeating Wizzro, but Zant has become rather flamboyant thanks to a certain demon lord. "… I knew that," Zant lies. "I was just messing with you." Midna can't help but giggle. After all, he did hesitate before replying; that was a dead give-away. It's always amusing to Midna when Zant makes himself look bad.

Midna looks up at Zant. "You'd better make yourself scarce before you say something else stupid."

"What?! How dare you accuse me of uttering silly things? I am the Twilight King!" He holds his hand high. His sleeve falls, revealing his gray arm with red lines. There is a dark spot on the inside of his elbow.

"Psshh, is that a birthmark?" Midna asks, pointing it out for all the world to see.

"Wait, what?" Zant looks at his arm. He lowers it, letting his oversized sleeve fall back into place. He stutters, "N-no. I am perfect in every way possible."

Midna rolls her eyes. "It doesn't matter what you look like; what matters is what you do. How do you think love survives in a world where being imperfect is the norm?"

"Silence! I will return to take back my land from your filthy hands. I hate you," Zant proclaims. With that, he commands Argorok to fly away, taking him with it.

"Hate you, too," Midna says with her amused smile still intact. Recently, Zant has become a big joke, and Midna has enjoyed every bit of it. Perhaps when he strikes back he'll regain a bit of honor.

Now, back to the matter at hand. The wizard lies on the ground, defeated both physically and mentally. His plan was so perfect, yet so flawed at the same time. It doesn't make any sense. What did he do that classified him as a villain, besides maybe terrorizing thousands of people before being sealed away? He knows that villains having victory is possible, because he has seen it before. But why is it that he has to be serving a higher power to win? It isn't fair!

Midna turns towards the wizard. If she's honest with herself, then the fight wasn't exactly fair. Sure, her kingdom was at stake, but was mercilessly decimating Wizzro and his forces really necessary? If Zant had just kept Wizzro's forces at bay or protected the base, she could have fought Wizzro herself and beaten him. Zant didn't have to summon a great monster and completely flatten the wizard. Perhaps she is feeling sympathy for him because she heard his pain loud and clear. This was the first battle she's had against Wizzro where he has shown any kind of physical discomfort.

Wizzro pushes himself up into a sitting position. His vision clears from a blurry state. "What are you looking at?" He hisses, rendering his shame into hate.

Midna shrugs. She replies, "You. Hey, was that battle unfair?"

"Unfair?! Are you kidding me?!"

"So, I'll take that as a yes." She keeps a calm composure.

Seeing Midna reply with sincerity in a calm matter, Wizzro relaxes. Midna is not out to humiliate him further, and he can see that. He just nods, not knowing what else to say.

Midna sighs and positions herself so she is sitting in midair. "Just between you and me, I think it should have just been you against me. That would have given you a sporting chance and me a chance to prove myself. How do we get stronger if we don't challenge ourselves?"

Wizzro shrugs and says, "Eh, I don't blame you for accepting Zant's aid. If I were fighting me, I would have done the same thing."

Midna is slightly peeved. "You just can't help but exalt yourself, can you?"

"Nope," Wizzro laughs. His cackling is cut short when there is a sting in his side.

"Struggling?" Midna asks. Her tone isn't mocking, but rather sincere.

Wizzro has to look at Midna's facial expression to confirm that she isn't mocking his pain. Her expression confirms her sincerity. Wizzro answers sincerely; "I've survived worse pain." He isn't kidding.

If he had to pick, the most painful experience he has ever had was about three months prior. He and Volga were fighting in the dessert against Lana. In a strange turn of events, Lana had captured Cia and was keeping her hidden in the dessert. Volga insisted they rescue her, so Wizzro went along. It was a mistake to fight within ten feet of the dragon knight. It was working out well, that is, until Wizzro was knocked on his back and Volga blasted fire from his mouth across the area right then. It might not seem like it, but Wizzro has a body under all those robes, and unfortunately, those robes aren't fireproof. Even if they were, the robes wouldn't have protected Wizzro from Volga's fire breath that day. At least the fire had incinerated the last of the enemies so only Volga got to witness Wizzro jump into the nearest medium-sized puddle to extinguish the flames.

Midna nods. She says, "Well, as much as I would love to just sit and chat, your forces pretty much wrung out the last drops of energy my forces had. I will thank you, though."

"Thank me?" Wizzro levitates as his way of standing up.

Midna nods. "You see, every victory comes with a struggle, and it's the struggles you overcome that make you stronger. Your losses make you stronger, too."

Wizzro smirks. "In that case, I will continue to battle and strengthen myself. Then I will return."

"When that day comes, I'll be ready," Midna confidently declares back. And so, the semi-friendly rivalry between Midna and Wizzro continues.

Wait, did you think this story is over? This story is about Wizzro, remember? It doesn't end with Midna's victory. Wizzro has a little more to do.

For the past two hours, Volga has kept Cia talking. The past thirty minutes have been a real struggle. Cia finished explaining the plan in full detail the first forty-five minutes, and then finally asked where Wizzro was. Volga was easily able to elude Cia's question that first time. He has eluded the same question a total of four times.

Finally, Cia has had enough. "Alright, Volga. I see what you're doing. You just keep eluding my question. Where is Wizzro? What has he done this time?"

As quickly as possible, Volga comes up with an incorrect answer… he hopes. Before he can direct Cia to the fairy fountain in the Valley of Seers to search for Wizzro, the wizard in question comes through the doors.

Wizzro is utterly exhausted. "I am here, Cia."

"There you are. I explained the plan about an hour ago. Why didn't you come?" Cia asks, rather irked at the lack of punctuality in her wizard.

"UM… that is irrelevant."

Cia crosses her arms and asks, "Now what kind of excuse is that?"

Wizzro smirks. "I have rights, and I have the right to live a private life when I'm not working."

Subconsciously, Cia notices the dried blood on Wizzro's lip, but she is too angry to ask about it. "Why you insolent-! I'm your mistress! You're alive because of me. Your life belongs to me, and you will come and go as I please. Understood, fool?"

Now Wizzro has a choice to either speak his true opinions and risk Cia's wrath, or quietly submit and pretend to agree with her. Choosing the former is too risky, especially in his current state. Therefore, he chooses the latter of the two options. He lowers his head. "Yes, Mistress Cia. I understand where my place is." Oh, what would he give to strangle her with his bare fists right now.

Cia grins wickedly, pleased. "Good. Don't let this happen again. Now, if you'll excuse me, unlike you, I do have a life, and I will be using it." With that, she sashays out of the room.

Volga and Wizzro are left alone in the room. Wizzro stops in front of Volga and says, "Cia treats us like the dirt on the bottom of her shoe, and what do we do about it? Nothing! We just let her use us like toilet paper. You can't tell me that you don't feel the same way."

Volga shrugs. "I suppose I don't think the same way because she doesn't treat me like she does you."

Wizzro crosses his arms. "You almost never get in trouble, whereas I'm over here taking all the heat."

"True," Volga nods in agreement. "Now, remember that little agreement you made with me? I fulfilled my end."

"UGH." Wizzro exclaims with exasperation. "What do you want?"

Volga holds out a piece of paper and a pen. "Just sign this."

"Just sign a piece of paper? That's it?" Wizzro asks, taking the paper and signing, fulfilling his end of the deal. "What is it?" He gives the paper back.

"OH, just my get-out-of-punishment-free ticket," Volga smugly states.

"What?!" Wizzro exclaims. Volga points out that Wizzro still has his pen. Wizzro returns the pen and continues his exclamation; "What?! What does that mean?! Why did I have to sign it?"

Volga rolls up the paper and hides it in his pocket. He chuckles to himself, and then explains, "You see, a little while back, I asked Cia if she would make a special exception. If I ever got in trouble, I wondered if she'd let me slide if someone else took the punishment. I really should thank you for signing it, even though you owed me anyway. Now, if I ever get in trouble, I can show Cia this paper, and you'll take my punishment instead of me. It only works once, though."

Wizzro is aghast. "That's despicable! Talk about unfair."

"Well, if want to discuss how it's fair, you owed me fair and square. I didn't trick you into signing it. I did you a favor, and now you do me a favor. You can't say this isn't fair," Volga states. Drat, the knight is right. Wizzro has been outsmarted by the dragon knight. How humiliating.

Wizzro spits at Volga's boot and says, "You're right, but I still hate it."

Volga chuckles. He says, "You're allowed to hate it. You can hate it and me all you want, but it's completely fair."

Right then and there, Volga gets a surge of excitement. He runs off. Wizzro asks, "Where are you going in such a hurry?"

"To get in trouble! I can't wait to use this ticket." Volga then stops at the doorway.

Wizzro's heart suddenly hits hyper drive. "But Volga, shouldn't you save that until you actually get in trouble and you need an escape?" If he wasn't sweating from exhaustion already, he's sweating now.

Volga thinks for a moment. "I could… but what are the chances of that? I rarely ever get in trouble, and getting in trouble is so much fun, especially if you don't get the punishment that goes along with it." With that, Volga runs off to cause mischief. Oh great, so now Wizzro is going to get pummeled by Cia for something that he didn't do. Why does the universe hate him so?

It doesn't take long for Volga to come back running at full speed with a goofy grin on his face. His entrance is accompanied by an angry woman voice screaming, "VOLGA!" Volga stops in the middle of the room. Cia charges into the room like an angry bull. She grabs Volga's collar and mutters through clenched teeth, "You're in a heap of trouble, mister."

Nonchalantly, Volga takes out his get-out-of-trouble-free ticket. He calls it a "get-out-of-trouble-free" ticket, but what he really means is "pass-the-blame-onto-someone-else" ticket. Cia snatches the paper with her free hand. After examination, she releases Volga and smirks.

Cia turns to Wizzro. "Just to verify, this is your signature, no?"

Oh no, this is for real. For a minute, Wizzro hoped that Volga was teasing him with a convoluted scheme, but if Cia is involved and going along with it, then it has to be for real. On impulse, Wizzro responds, "I never signed that. He forged my signature, that fiend!"

Cia laughs. "Wizzro, you and I both know that Volga's handwriting is atrocious. There is no way, not even by the help of the gods, that Volga's handwriting would even remotely match yours. Without a doubt, this is your signature."

Wizzro groans. "Ack. Curse you and your ridiculously awful handwriting, Volga."

Cia rolls up the paper. "But you need not fret, Wizzro. You have some time to prepare yourself and gather your thoughts."

Both of her minions become utterly confused. "Huh?"

"There has been a change of plans, boys. We take the battle plan and go to battle today. We leave immediately."

"… Oh, my aching back." And with that, Wizzro collapses.

Author's Note- You know, for some reason that not even I understand, I like Wizzro. I don't know whether it's the mystery behind him, or his dialogue in game, or what, but I just like him. I let my imagination lead me through this one.