Chapter 21- The Book

Normally, she would be out in the fields looking for ladybugs on days like these, but today, Agitha stays inside and reads a book. It was recommended to her by some random pedestrian, and she hasn't been able to put it down since she picked it up.

Meanwhile, Zelda and Lana have a tea party in Skyloft. The weather is perfect; sunny with just a small breezy to keep them cool. Lana brought some scones, and Zelda brought some refreshing chamomile tea.

While pouring Lana some tea, Zelda asks, "Did you invite some of the others to come?"

"Not that I can recall," Lana humbly replies. Then she becomes tense. "Why? You didn't invite Midna, did you?"

Zelda guffaws. "Great Hylia, no! Midna and tea parties don't mix."

Lana nods, exhaling in relief. "Actually, I vaguely remember asking Agitha if she would like to come," she states.

"Huh. Agitha loves tea parties," Zelda ponders aloud.

Lana shrugs and says, "Maybe she didn't hear me or forgot." The two have a merry afternoon tea party, and even Ghirahim stops his own pursuits for a cup of tea.

…

"Midna, please be quieter. This is the good part."

Midna has been trying to get Agitha's attention for twenty minutes. She brought Agitha to the palace to discuss her strategy for defense against Zant's miniscule army of ninjas. He trained them himself.

Midna yells in an exasperated tone, "Finally you recognize that I am actually here!"

"You should really read this book. I haven't been able to put down since I picked it up!" Agitha exclaims joyfully. Midna nods, concurring with Agitha's statement about her not being able to put it down.

Midna floats over to Agitha's shoulder to look at the book. She asks, "How could a book be so good?" Her eyes skim the page. By the third line, her eyes are glued to the page.

Clumsy ninja Bokoblins invade the castle. There is a total of five of them, and they are undeniably clumsy. They are practically tripping over each other. As Zant storms in after them, he gets hit in the shin by a ninja star. Eventually he makes it past his own ninjas to the throne room. Why is it that everything he does is pathetic unless Ganondorf is pulling the strings behind the scenes?

"You might as well surrender now, Midna," Zant announces, trying to sound intimidating.

Zant's words go in one ear and out the other. So does his entire monolog that follows.

Zant waits a minute for Midna to retaliate. She never does, and that is when he starts to worry. "UH, Midna?"

Agitha turns the page.

"No! I wasn't done with that last page. I have, like, a paragraph left."

Agitha turns the page back.

"Wait, so you mean to tell me that everything I said just flew over your heads… because you were reading?!" Zant exclaims, and once this fact sinks in, the rage starts to simmer like a pot of water on the stove. "Don't you know that it is rude to read during a speech!?"

Midna puts her finger up to her lips and looks up at Zant. "Shh. Quiet please."

What?! How dare she shush the great Twilight King! Zant is not about to walk away from a battle that he so clearly instigated mere moments ago. With a swift swing of the arm, he flings Agitha's book into the sky. Or at least, it would have gone into the sky if it wasn't for the roof.

Agitha stares aghast at her book, and then turns her attention to Zant. She flares her nostrils and hits Zant in the stomach with her basket. "That was extremely rude!" she bellows. Zant laughs until it is Midna's turn to retaliate. Zant has to trek a little ways to get back to the throne room.

Midna threatens to use her hair again.

"No! No, it's ok. Your book is safe," Zant fearfully mumbles. Speaking of the book, Agitha found her page.

After wallowing in self-pity for a minute or so, an interesting question invades Zant's mind; what could they be reading that could possibly be more important than him?

…

Zelda blissfully lies on her bed, reading. Impa walks in. "Zelda, Cia is planning an attack. We should start planning our defenses immediately!"

Then Zelda precedes to excitedly explain to Impa what her book is about. Agitha suggested it to her.

Impa is uninterested; she is too busy thinking about Cia's upcoming attack on the palace. However, since Zelda seems completely infatuated with her book, Impa decides to lead the Hyrulean army herself.

Gathering an army is more of a challenge than Impa originally anticipated, since Zelda also suggested her book to the entire army.

…

The day finally comes, and Cia's army is rested and ready for action. This may be the largest army Cia has ever conjured up. She knows that two of the three Triforce pieces reside at the castle, so why not kill two birds with one stone and just take the castle? She will have to get the Triforce of Power through other means.

She locates her two generals in the Valley of Seers. Volga swiftly and cleanly executes his attacks, practicing for the siege against Hyrule Castle. On the other hand, Wizzro does… who knows what. He has his back turned and seems to be struggling. Chinese finger trap, maybe? Anyways-

"Alright men and ghastly figures in robes, I believe we are ready to lay waste to the army Zelda has prepared to try and defend her lands. Are you ready, Volga?"

Volga's attention was sharply focused on Cia since she started talking; in fact, he was so sharply focused on Cia that one would think he was a professional for the Olympic staring contest. He simply nods once at Cia, silently communicating that he is ready when she is.

Cia can always count of Volga to be ready for action whenever she calls. She turns to her wizard and asks, "Are you ready, Wizzro?"

"Cia, I sense dark magic nearby, and it isn't you," Wizzro cautiously informs. As whatever is causing Wizzro's sixth sense to act up gets closer, so does the intensity of the tingle it causes Wizzro. When it is close enough, Wizzro starts to get that feeling everyone gets when Majora's Mask is approaching. To describe the feeling, the aura Majora's Mask gives off dulls your sense of smell and makes you feel like all of the water in your cells is being relocated to your bladder.

It is not Majora's Mask.

In a whimsical display of paper-thin rhombuses, Ghirahim appears. That strange feeling Wizzro was having suddenly drains like water in a sink; the sound and everything. He is actually disappointed the threat wasn't bigger. Why Ghirahim was giving off an aura similar to Majora's Mask, we will never know.

Cia stands her ground, putting on a serious face. "What do you want?" she interrogates.

Ghirahim slowly puts one foot in front of the other, crossing his legs with each step, as if trying to keep his balance.

"Pay attention to where you are walking!" Volga demands. He has no patience for those who have no common sense. Ghirahim has is nose in a book while walking. The same behavior led to a few collisions with Zant back at base, yet, neither of them has learned anything from it.

At about meter or so away from Cia, Ghirahim is stopped when Volga holds out his spear, just gently touching Ghirahim's stomach. Ghirahim lifts his head to meet eye-to-eye with Cia.

"Ah, Cia, just the sorceress I was looking for," Ghirahim says. His words are just as smooth as his hair.

It is Volga's turn to interrogate somebody. "What is your purpose here?" Cia is just naturally more hateful with her tone and word choice than him.

Ghirahim puts his hand on his chin in thought. He explains, "I was given instructions by Lord Ganondorf… but I can't quite remember what they were…"

"You can't remember because you never heard the instructions in the first place; you were in la-la land," Wizzro states.

Ghirahim holds up a finger and tells Cia and co. to give him a minute. He swears that he will remember. However, every time he retraces his steps up to Ganondorf, he starts thinking about what is going to happen next in his book.

Randomly, Cia conks Ghirahim on the head with her scepter. This gets Ghirahim's head out of the clouds. "There. That should fix you. Now spit it out. And if you still can't get the words off your tongue, I'll have Wizzro pull them off your tongue for you."

"I get to pull of someone's tongue! Yes!"

Ghirahim doesn't consider himself a germophobe, but having Wizzro touch his tongue is just asking for some deadly disease. He decides to avoid that scenario at all costs.

Then, Ghirahim suddenly remembers what it was Ganondorf wanted him to do. But first- "Yes, Ganondorf's plea is important-,"

"Plea?" Volga asks.

"But I would much rather share my book with you."

Wizzro shakes his head. "No, no, no, go back to the part where Ganondorf is pleading." Volga isn't the only one that caught Ghirahim's word choice.

Ghirahim effortlessly slides to Cia's side and simply puts his book in front of her face. Cia is forced to stare at the words on the pages, and it isn't long before her eyes start skimming the page willingly. Gently, she takes the book from Ghirahim, walking away with it, her eyes fixed.

"It would be a crime to not share what adventures lie on those pages, so I thought 'why not share it with another profound soul like myself?' You were the first to appear when I associated people I knew with the word 'profound'."

"Oh brother," Wizzro utters in disgust. But upon further examination, perhaps his tone was more towards envy than disgust.

Ghirahim lowers his head in a defeated manner. But this gesture was just an act. He says, "But, I could have been mistaken. I have not been a waste of your time, have I?" He smirks, already knowing the answer to his own question.

Cia slowly shakes her head. Ghirahim has definitely not wasted her time. On the contrary, he has enlightened her using nothing but fine print in a leather cover.

Volga has never seen Cia's interest so easily ensnared, especially right before she instigates a battle. This concerns him. "Cia, perhaps now we should lead our army to Hyrule Castle."

Cia waves him off. "After I read this chapter."

Volga and Wizzro gasp in utter disbelief.

Ghirahim is suddenly met face-to-face with an angry wizard. "What kind of toxic spell did you just infect Cia with?"

Ghirahim uses his index finger on his non-dominant hand to push Wizzro to a comfortable distance away. He precedes to say, "The only spell I just enchanted her with is the spell of great literature." Then he decides to make his leave, so he asks for his book back.

"No."

There really isn't much Ghirahim can do about Cia just simply refusing to give him his book back. His next destination is the book store.

"Hey guys," Cia says. "You have to read this book."

…

Impa has prepared her mind for probably the most exhausting battle of her life. She will be defending Hyrule Castle alone. She stands in front of the castle, ready and waiting for Cia's army.

Cia's army never shows up.

Though she is a little confused, Impa decides to go back into the castle and inform Zelda of the absence of Cia's army. Going inside, however, only heightens Impa's confusion. Zelda is having book club with all of the warriors, including Cia!

"What in Hylia's name is going on?!"

Zelda looks at Impa. "Impa! You are just in time for book club."

Impa flees.

…

Fi stands watch over Skyloft. She notices Impa wandering the land looking concerned to the core. Fi confronts Impa and says, "From your facial expression, I can infer that something is causing you concern."

"Yes," Impa says with relief. "Someone who isn't reading."

Fi asks, "Are you referring to that book that our fellow warriors are intrigued by?"

Impa nods. She then explains to Fi about Cia's army and Zelda's book club.

"I have read three paragraphs of the book," Fi explains. "However, I am unable to process the same emotions that Zelda and the others can."

Impa smiles. "You're… immune to it," she concludes with a wave of hope seeping into her heart.

For the next ten minutes, Impa devises a new plan of attack against Cia's army. The plan is the two of them charge into the Valley of Seers and defeat Cia's army before she finishes the book.

…

"WHAT?! What do you mean you're on coffee break?!"

Since Cia went off to book club, Wizzro has been trying to lead her army against Hyrule Castle. However, he has been unsuccessful.

Cia's entire army decides to go on coffee break. There is no hope of Wizzro getting the army to his bidding. "Ugh, I give up. Hyrule Castle is safe as long as Cia has her nose in that stupid book."

Impa and Fi come in from behind. Impa is surprised to find Wizzro there. She asks, "You're… not at book club?"

Wizzro turns around. "Wait, you're not at book club?"

Impa, Fi, and Wizzro engage in conversation. Wizzro explains how Ghirahim came, showed Cia the book, and took control of her mind. He learned that it really was the book and not Ghirahim when Volga read two paragraphs and was hooked, too. "And then you two showed up."

Fi asks, "How is it that you are not in the book's snare as well?"

Wizzro doesn't really know. He has an idea as to why, but he won't tell Impa and Fi.

"Whatever," Impa interrupts. "What matters now is saving our fellow warriors. If we defeat the book, everything will return to the way it was."

"How do you defeat a book? Burn it?" Wizzro asks.

Impa smirks, conjuring a plan.

…

"That part was amazing!" Midna shares with the club, adding to Ganondorf's previous statement.

Zelda stands up, puts her bookmark in the book, and says, "Good discussion. Tomorrow we will meet here again for meeting two."

Agitha says in a disappointed tone, "Aw, is book club over?"

"Just for today," Zelda explains.

Zant lies on the floor, holding the book open over his head. "I'm starving, but I don't think I'll be able to put this book down long enough to make anything to eat."

"Ok everyone, let's get up and stretch. We have to keep our eyes healthy," Zelda instructs. Everyone does so, setting their books at their feet.

Just then, Wizzro comes out of the ground in the middle of the circle. He says, "Finally! I thought you guys would never put those books down."

"Wizzro!" Volga gleefully cries. "Have you come to join us?"

Wizzro takes a deep breath, points a Volga, and exclaims with a smile, "No!"

Ganondorf is confused. "Then… what did you come here for?"

Wizzro turns towards Ganondorf. "Hey, is this your book?" He picks up Ganondorf's book. Ganondorf nods.

"You don't mind if I take it, do you?" Wizzro asks. Ganondorf is left speechless.

Wizzro makes his cyclops piranhas pick up the rest of the books. He says, "And I'll be taking these, too. You're welcome." With that, he disappears into the ground.

Agitha cries out in utter horror, "He took our books!"

"Get him!" Zelda screams.

In Gerudo desert, Impa and Fi are preparing a large bonfire. They have the firewood ready to burn, if they could just get a fire started.

Wizzro comes up through the ground, carrying a large stack of books. "I've got 'em! Hiya ha ha!"

"We will have a fire prepared in approximately thirty minutes."

"What?! But we need the fire now!"

Impa asks, "Why?"

Fi says, "Ganondorf is approaching." That answers Impa's question. She grabs two sticks and starts wildly rubbing them together.

"I shall correct myself; we will have a fire in approximately two minutes if Impa keeps her pace," Fi explains.

Wizzro nods. "I can hold them off for two minutes." He sets the books on the firewood and heads off to be a distraction. Fi grabs one book and goes after Wizzro.

Ghirahim and Zant follow Ganondorf through the desert. Wizzro enters their line of sight. Just as he yells to get their attention, Fi tosses the book into his hands. Wizzro stares at the book in his hands, dazed.

"There!" Zant spots the book in Wizzro's hands.

Fi believes she is experiencing amusement as she watches Wizzro flee for his life.

The sticks start to get warm. Impa is making progress. Zelda spots her from afar.

"Everyone! Impa is going to burn our books!" she alerts the warriors.

And the mad dash begins. Fi and Wizzro prevent those that can teleport from teleporting to Impa. In the heat of the moment, Impa makes a spark with her sticks, setting them ablaze. "I'm sorry, but this is for your own good!" And with that, she quickly gets on her feet and throws the sticks on the firewood. The bonfire burns the books, erasing them from existence.

The warriors gather around the bonfire, mourning the loss of their literature. Instead of retaliating with hatred, which is what those like Cia and Midna would have done, everyone is silent. Agitha thinks to herself that at least she got to read through it once.

Zelda starts to walk back to the castle. She is followed by everyone who was in book club.

Impa, Fi, and Wizzro stay to watch the bonfire. They may have very well just saved the world. Impa is not happy, though. She hates to see a good book lost forever. "I know those books took control of our fellow warriors, but I can't help but wonder if it was just… good literature. I'll never know because… it's gone."

Wizzro proves Impa wrong by pulling out a copy of the book from under his robes. It is the book that Fi took to him as a way to keep Ganondorf from finding the bonfire. Impa takes the book. "Huh… maybe this book has a mind of its own after all," she ponders aloud.

"I was wondering…" Wizzro starts.

Impa and Fi look at Wizzro.

"Could you read it to me?"

Author's Notes- Based on feedback from the last chapter, it seems that no one is opposed to a Q & A session. That's awesome! If there is any questions you have for the warriors, submit them via reviews. And if you have read all the chapters thus far, vote for your favorite chapter from 11 to 19. That poll is up and active. I'm excited for Q & A. Yay!