Anders was gone. Selise stood frozen in place once she realized that it was true, that it wasn't just one of her fears playing out in her imagination. She cast her eyes about his room, looking for anything that might be out of place. He wasn't in the kitchen, washroom or library. He wasn't in her room, or anywhere else on the lower floor. She had left him just a few hours ago to go scouting around Skyhold in search of Cassandra's quarters, but had not found anything useful. All the places she thought to look revealed nothing. Just a bunch of empty rooms and lofts filled with tables. She was convinced that the Seeker might live in one of the floors above the armory, but had found nothing other than a bedroll spread out on the bare floor in the uppermost balcony. Only a small stack of books accompanied it, and none of them were the book that Anders sought. As she had crept from door to door within the wooden buildings and along the stone walls, keeping her back straight and her expression casual so as not to arouse suspicion, it occurred to her that if Skyhold had a vault of any kind for valuables, that is most likely where they should be looking.
She'd rushed back with a plate of hot ham and porridge from the kitchen for the two of them, hoping to just relax and continue with the planning of the upcoming escape, but instead she found herself with heart racing, running through every possibility for his disappearance. She didn't believe that he had picked up and left her behind, especially mere hours after she'd kissed him goodbye. He'd been lounging about in a loose pair of breeches sipping his tea and making a list of items to gather for their journey. She especially didn't think he would try to run in the middle of the day, without the cover of darkness at the very least. Had Leliana come to fetch him for some meeting? Had someone else discovered their little nook on the lower floor and come to take him hostage, for some sort of retribution? There were a number of mages living in Skyhold who had resented Anders deeply for making them fugitives over the past several years. Perhaps some of them had seen him somehow, and had found him?
Whatever it was, her sight had not alerted her to any danger. She'd been noticing that her sight seemed to be failing her more and more when it came to Anders, and had begun to wonder if it was the growing emotions he brought out in her that had been clouding up the works. It had been the same with her father. She could never see what he was going to do. Perhaps this was the price for getting so close to someone; her inner eye closed to things that immediately involved them, leaving her flailing in the dark just like everyone else. If only she had someone to talk to about clairvoyance, to reassure her about the subtleties and quirks. If only she'd had more time with her mother, then she wouldn't be so caught off guard when she did things that affected her gift so much. But now was not the time to dwell on that, she realized.
Her stomach heaved. Going to Leliana would mean admitting that she had lost track of her charge. But if Leliana had Anders, then she already knew anyway. And it was never forbidden for her to leave him alone, to go out and do her own thing by herself. If that were the case, she would never have been able to attend meetings, or fetch supplies, or food. No, the fact that she hadn't been there shouldn't automatically be something to worry about, which was only the smallest possible comfort within Selise's maelstrom of panic.
She dropped the bowls of porridge on the table and turn to dash back toward the stairs. Wherever he was, it was not on the lower floor. As she emerged back into the Great Hall and looked around wildly, she noticed the low roar of murmurs, more noticeable than usual because of the sheer number of bodies in the room. The grey, overcast day threatened rain, so instead of mill about in the courtyard most of the residents were congregating inside, trying to avoid the coming storm. She turned her head to a girl standing nearby. It was a youngish elf with yellowy blond hair who was whispering excitedly to an older woman.
"Excuse me, is something happening?" Selise asked the young girl. The elf flashed luminous green eyes at her and paused a moment, seemingly stunned at Selise's attention.
"The Inquisitor has returned. And rumors are that she has banished the Grey Wardens from southern Thedas," the girl said.
"What? Banished? Could that be right?" she asked, but didn't wait for an answer before she found her feet carrying her away from the girl. The Grey Wardens were heroes... what could they possibly have done to warrant banishment?
Selise's heart jumped into her throat and she forced herself to remain calm as she weaved through the crowd between the stairwell and the door to Solas' office. Solas gave her a polite nod as she rushed through his room, and as she took the stairs two at a time she tried to remind herself that technically, Anders was no longer a Grey Warden. He'd said they ousted him because they did not want an abomination within their ranks, and he was not particularly sad to have parted ways. But he still carried the taint. They'd had a conversation about it just the night before, as they lay in bed shortly after returning from the garden.
"What does the Calling sound like?" Selise had asked as her face rested comfortably in the hollow of his shoulder.
"Well," he began, "I can only hear it when things are completely silent… and then it's like... a chorus of whispers, singing something that I can't quite make out the words to. It's sort of beautiful, but very eerie. Sometimes I forget about it and then the world goes quiet just long enough for the sound to trickle in and it makes my hair stand on end. "
"Wow. That must be strange. And once the Calling begins, how long do you have?"
"I honestly don't know for sure. There are supposed to be nightmares too, but I always have those anyway. It gets worse and worse until you can't take it anymore, but I don't know much beyond that. I wasn't with the Grey Wardens long enough to get all these kinds of questions answered. Not the brightest move in hindsight," he said.
Selise sighed. Between the spirit possession and the Calling, that Anders' life would end in madness of one sort or another was practically guaranteed. The thought had made her feel desperate, their time together so finite.
"It's not fair. We've only just found each other. I can't stand the thought of not having much time with you."
"You and me both sweetheart," answered Anders sadly as he tightened his arms around her. "We'll just have to make the most of the time we have. Nothing is set in stone, other than the fact that I will die. But we all will. No avoiding that."
She had jumped fully on top of him then, lacing her fingers into his and holding his hands back against the bed so that their faces hovered only inches from each other in the dark. She'd felt suddenly consumed by a restless combination of fear and desire and a need to voice the collection of thoughts and feelings that had been building up inside her.
"Whatever happens, we will face it together."
"Damned right," he said in return. The audible smile in his voice gave Selise an extra burst of courage and she said the words that had been on the tip of her tongue a few times already throughout the evening.
"I…. I love you Anders," she said. "I don't ever want to be parted. Ever."
The silent second that followed stretched on for much longer than she expected it to, her pounding heart skipping a beat as the darkness rang empty with his lack of response. Was it too soon? Should she have waited? They had already been calling each other "my love"… surely this wasn't completely unexpected?
And then Anders burst forward under her, his mouth finding hers in a vigorous kiss and his hands breaking effortlessly from her grasp. After a motion so fast she barely knew what was happening, she found herself under him on the other side of the bed, being pressed down by the weight of his body onto a jumble of knotted sheets and blankets. His mouth was at her neck, covering her in hot, open mouthed kisses.
"I love you, I love you, I love you," he'd said each time he came up for air. She had melted when she heard the words, a song of sheer bliss building up in her chest.
No, there was no blighted way that she believed he might have left her of his own accord so soon after that. He had no reason to fake that with her. And she felt it. It was real. He loved her, and she loved him. There simply was no way he had left without her. She was sure of it.
She reached the uppermost floor with hot cheeks and burning lungs, and had to pause for a moment to collect herself and catch her breath. But there was no one there. Wherever Leliana was, she wasn't in her office.
Selise opened her mind's eye, trying to call to Anders' energy. She could still tap into his emotions, though realized they had often been so close to her own that she could barely distinguish what belonged to whom, and generally she had to be in close proximity to him to feel it. She quieted her mind and listened, but nothing came.
She raced back down the stairs, Solas giving her a quiet raised eyebrow as she swept back through his office again and found herself standing in the Great Hall. Where else could they be?
Of course. Selise knew exactly where they were.
Selise tiptoed to the doorway that led to the Ambassador's office, as just beyond that was the infamous War Room that only the inner members of the Inquisition visited. Selise opened the door, using the same affected nonchalance as had gotten her around all morning, walking through the doorway as though she owned it. When several eyes watched her curiously, she pushed a small wave of disorientation toward them, hearing the murmur of voices quiet as everyone's eyes went dark. It was not a smart move, using the spell on only a small group of people within a larger group. It would surely be noticed, commented upon. But Selise had to do something.
The Ambassador's office was empty, just as she suspected it would be. All the advisers would all be in the meeting with the Inquisitor as they always were. Aside from all the traveling, when the Inquisitor was there then the group of them moved and operated like a single unit. She made her way through the spacious room and opened up the door to the longer corridor just behind the office. She had only been in there the one time, the time Fiona had brought her back to officially meet Anders, and knew that there was no telling how long they would be in the meeting. The Inquisitor and the advisers were known to spend hours pouring over the large table that served as a map, maneuvering iron pieces as they marked battles, planned out strategies and discussed alliances.
She moved toward the towering wooden doors, her steps getting more and more tentative as the crumbling hall seemed to stretch on forever. When she finally got close, she was able to hear the low rumble of multiple muffled voices, some of which contained the spiking intonations of anger and insistence.
She opened herself up to the energy within the room.
And he was there. But he was afraid. Very afraid.
Selise felt a cold rush of fear cascade through her and she turned quickly, making her way back to the Ambassador's office.
It was likely then that they would be moving Anders out, and with the foul weather moving in they would want to do it quickly. But it seemed entirely too hasty for them to cast him out within hours of the Inquisitor's return. Surely she had other things to attend to as well, matters more pressing than arranging transport for a former Grey Warden. And what about the Grey Warden that was a part of their very party? Selise had seen him before, a thick, dark man with a jet black beard. Would he be moving out too?
But if they were that worried about Anders, for whatever reason the Grey Wardens have given them, then at the very least he would be kept in the dungeon over night.
And that would be easy. Selise could get him out of there without a second thought.
But they would still need the book.
She again searched around the expansive office. The wall behind the desk was lined in overstuffed bookshelves, and the desk itself was kept neat and tidy. Figuring it couldn't hurt, Selise approached and read through all the titles of the books on the shelf as quickly as she could. If Cassandra was going to be out of town, perhaps she left the book in the hand of a trusted friend. And what better place to hide a book than right out in the open, amongst hundreds of others? She rushed forward and ran her eyes frantically over the multicolored collection. Titles she recognized were easy to dismiss, but there were a number of blank spines, and beyond knowing that the book belonged to the Seekers, she wasn't sure what else she should be looking for. The book probably held the Seeker symbol at the very least, she figured. But there was no sign of that that she could see. Probably on the front cover? She began pulling out the blank spined books, glancing hurriedly for the symbol and disappointedly replacing every one back onto the shelf.
She sighed, feeling her hands tremble. The Inquisition could escort Anders back through at any moment. Chances were good that she would know when they were coming, but since Anders was involved she couldn't completely count on it.
Selise worked her way through the last of the unmarked books, and then sighed again, feeling her breath coming short, then turned back toward the exit.
That hadn't worked, so instead she would need to locate Skyhold's vault. And quickly.
A thought struck her, stopping her in her tracks. She returned to stand in front of the bookshelf to study it one final time. It was an awfully large shelf, built only partially into the wall, and some of the tomes had seemed slightly out of place for an Ambassador's office. Again she ran her eyes across the multitudes of spines, looking for something that didn't seem right. She concentrated along the edges, until she found a silver grey book that stood out slightly. Something about it was drawing her to it.
"Noble Families of the Blessed Age" is what the spine read, but the faded edges adorning the book cover seemed artificial. Selise tried to pull the book out, but it didn't budge. It felt strange, too solid and sharp, and instead of trying to pull again, she gave it a little push. From deep behind the shelf came a deep, metallic clunk and a section of the shelf began to loosen, moving incrementally outward.
She felt a rush of relief. Please let this be it, please let this be it, she begged the Maker.
Selise helped the door open, but it was made of heavy, thick wood that carried the weight of all the books within it and it moved very slowly. When finally it opened enough for her to peek inside, she found herself looking at several old dusty stacks of books, plus scrolls and scrolls of weathered paper. There was a box that looked like it probably contained jewelry, and several large coin purses.
Selise grabbed the smallest coin purse and then pulled each tome out to inspect it for the mark of the Seeker. The book in question was second from the top. It was a very thick book with a red cover held closed with a metal clasp.
Selise's heart began to race as she was faced with a decision. Does she take it now and chance the possibility of it being discovered missing before they even have the opportunity to escape? Or should she leave it here, and wait. But what if she returns with Anders in the night and the book is gone? What if the Seeker retrieves it and keeps it with her now that she is back in Skyhold? What if they don't even plan on holding Anders all night and she rushes along their plan for nothing? There was no way to know for sure. She could only know what her gut was telling her.
With a shudder, Selise grabbed the book. She put the coin purse in her pocket and closed the heavy shelf door.
But how to get the book past all the people in the Great Hall? The thing was massive, and would surely stick out if she tried to hide it under her robe. But what choice did she have?
She tried putting it under her robe anyway, but there just wasn't enough fabric, unless she wanted to waddle back with the thing clenched between her legs while the skirt of her robe fell over top, but even then the thing would probably poke out suspiciously. Looking about the room for another option, she ran back to the book shelf and grabbed two more random books, making a small stack. She would let everyone see that she had simply retrieved a few books from the office. And there was nothing of note about that at all. Hopefully no one would even bat an eye.
It worked. She dropped the two extra books in the library on the lower floor, and found herself standing in the middle of her own bedroom, holding the giant red tome in both hands. The pages were unevenly cut and yellowed, and Selise felt a deep sense of reverence as she considered what exactly it was she was looking at. The book had been passed from Lord Seeker to Lord Seeker for hundreds of years, and held unimaginable secrets. It might arguably be the most important, valuable thing in all of Skyhold.
There weren't many good places in her sparsely furnished room to hide things, but with any luck, it wouldn't be there for long. So she slid it into the bottom drawer of the bureau, covered it up with some clothes and then paced the room.
Until it was dark, until she knew no one would be coming for her, she couldn't pack any of her things. She couldn't make any preparations that might tip someone off that she was planning to flee.
She rushed over to Anders' room, looking for all the pages he had been scribbling on that morning, making lists of supplies, of the route and the plan. She sorted through the mess that cluttered the table, including the now cold bowls of porridge, finding numerous scrolls and many loose leaf pages. Finally she located the ones that held the telltale lists, and quickly she ran her eyes over the items he had written down. There were a number of practical items including thick leather coats and winter gear, wool socks and blankets, a pack of dried foods such as jerky, nuts and beans. She almost smiled at the notice that he included a bottle of whiskey. But it was a good inclusion. It would warm them during the cold nights, not that she intended on letting either of them get cold if she could help it. Bandages, draughts of potions, his herb collection, bedrolls, a small tent. Many of these things could probably be found in the soldier supply room, which was at the base of one of the towers next to the gate.
She foresaw the use of lots of her magic. If things went the way she was imagining they might, she would be putting a great many people to sleep as they gathered what they needed and made their escape. She would need to have several vials of lyrium on hand, just to be sure she didn't find her magic running dry when she needed it.
She committed what she could to memory, and then tossed the incriminating pages onto the glowing coals in the fireplace. And then she made her way back into her room, trying to think of the best course of action from there.
She had no idea how long Anders and the Inquisition might be shut away. She might be completely alone for the rest of the night, left waiting and wondering. Would it be strange if she wasn't up there, waiting to see what became of her charge? Surely Leliana would expect her to come looking for him, even if only to cover her own butt.
And the thought of spending the rest of the day pacing her room was simply too agonizing to bear.
She barely felt the stairs beneath her feet as she flew back up them for yet another time. But the moment she stepped foot back in the Great Hall, she heard a hush fall over the crowd of people. Feeling a surge of panic, Selise pushed her way toward the doorway to the War Room, and saw the procession of bodies that was having such a noticeable effect on the spectators. The Inquisitor was the first to come into view, her sunkissed faced stern and grave, her hair slightly longer and shaggier than the last time Selise had seen her. Following close behind was Cullen, then Josephine, Leliana, and then the severe scowl of the Seeker. At the rear were two fully armored Templars who were escorting a figure draped in a dark cloak. No one else in the room knew who he was, but even completely obscured by fabric Selise felt her heart jump at the sight of him. Anders' head hung low, looking guilty, and a wave of whispers rushed through the crowd as everyone speculated on the identity of the person in their custody. Leliana's eyes caught hers and with a quick motion, gestured for Selise to join her.
She was relieved to at least be acknowledged.
Selise made her way through the irritatingly thick crowd and fell into step beside Leliana, who whispered, "I'm sorry, the Inquisitor could not be persuaded. The Grey Wardens were working on behalf of Corypheus. They were mislead, and clearly too vulnerable to his influence."
"But he isn't really a Grey Warden," Selise whispered in return. "Not anymore."
"He carries the taint. The decision is made Selise," Leliana said with a tone that Selise knew not to argue with. She fell silent, biting her tongue as she followed along, knowing that Anders was only steps behind her.
They led her to the dungeon, exactly where she had expected they would go. She stood beside Leliana and tried to keep her face clear of expression as she watched Anders get locked into the very cell that he had been in the night they had lured out Vengeance. Anders' head finally came up and Selise got a glimpse of his face. His golden skin seemed unnaturally pale, his eyes wide and dark, and when finally they landed over to Selise they were cold and empty. Selise shivered.
"Is there anything he has that he might want to take with him? If so, now's the time to get it," Leliana said.
"When will he be leaving?" Selise asked, her heart pounding in her ears.
"In a few hours. The transport is preparing itself now."
"A few hours!? They won't even wait til morning?" Selise asked, struggling to keep her voice from going shrill. The Inquisitor stood off to the side with her brows furrowed and her arms crossed over her chest. She looked as though she personally blamed Anders for whatever had occurred on her mission.
"The Inquisitor sees no point in waiting. They want to stay ahead of the coming storm, and the journey will take several days as it is."
"But where are they taking him? Is Fiona going too? She also used to be a Grey Warden."
"Fiona no longer carries the taint. She will stay."
Selise heard her own surprise as she inhaled sharply.
"The taint can be… cured?"
"Fiona is the only one that we know of who has been. It has to do with an amulet she was given a long time ago. She is a very unique case, Selise. No one fully understands it."
Selise fell quiet then, her eyes finding Anders' gaze again and holding it desperately. She tried to communicate everything she could in her eyes, that she loved him, that she would come for him, that all he needed to do was stay quiet, stay patient, don't lose hope. She wished she could somehow let him know that she had the book. That he had not failed.
She clasped her hands together to hide the quaking of her fingers. Her blood was running ice cold, her throat as dry as it had ever been. She felt like even the slightest breeze might knock her over. But she had no room for weakness just then, no matter how debilitating the fear coursing through her veins felt. If they were going to try to move him out in just a few hours, then she would need to be prepared. She would need to collect everything they needed, she would need to free him from the prison and flee, all while the sun shone and people were awake and inhabiting the very rooms she would need to access. There would be no cover of darkness to hide their departure. She would not be able to just keep sleeping people from waking. She might need to show her hand completely.
Selise took a deep breath. There were two Templars among them, but neither of them had even glanced at her. Surely they had already purged Anders of his magic, so if she had any ideas about making a move in that moment, when the most important people in the Inquisition were there in the room with her, she would be entirely on her own. It would give them a bit of a head start to have the Inquisition debilitated, even temporarily. They'd be unable to discover the theft of the book, or react to their escape until after they were gone. How else would she get him out of the dungeon, past the guard?
Dare she? She could put them all to sleep right then, consume the whole room in a cloud of unconsciousness and then grab Anders and fight their way out of Skyhold. At least she could try. There were a dozen people there that she needed to put down, and put down hard. She had never taken on that many at once before. It might be stretching the limit of her abilities.
But the well of mana from which she drew her power was full and shimmering. Just thinking about it brought the vibration of energy to her fingertips. It had been over a week since she had cast any spell. Even without the help of lyrium, she thought that if she could put every ounce of her mana into it, that it was possible she might be able to conjure up a wave strong enough to knock the whole room out for at least an hour, maybe two.
But how could she do it without putting Anders to sleep as well? Unleashed a rippling wave throughout the whole room would surely effect him.
Selise looked around. She was the one closest to the stairwell that led back up to the courtyard. Everyone else was off to her right, scattered, but still all occupying one half of the room.
But the other prisoner, the one she and Anders had heard snoring that night, he was still there, watching the action through the bars in the cell beside Anders. She could try to focus the blast toward the Inquisition as much as she could, but that second prisoner would likely stay unaffected just like Anders. He would bear witness to everything she did, and there probably wouldn't be anything left to use on him once everyone else was down.
The dungeon guard finished locking Anders' cell and then stood speaking to the Inquisitor for a moment in low, inaudible tones. Selise's heart began to race. If she was going to act then, if she was truly considering a magical attack on the Inquisition, she would need to do it soon.
She saw the Inquisitor nod to the rest of the advisers and then begin her first steps toward Selise, toward the stairwell that led to the door.
Selise reached down into the very bottom of her mana, gathering it all up into her, shaping it into a narrow blast. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.