Chapter 28- Personal Rivalries
This shouldn't surprise anybody, but our heroes are in the heat of battle. Impa needed an army ASAP, so she rounded up whomever she could find, which at the time was Midna, Fi, and much to her dismay, Tingle. Midna was training the wolf pups when Impa appeared to her in urgent distress. The pups- Snowy, Sparkle, Savage, and Rusl- had Tingle in a tight spot before Impa interrupted the fun. Then again, Zant is the threat, so Midna isn't terribly upset about lost time.
Fi rushes across the battlefield, headed to a vital keep. Somehow Midna beat her to it… but also somehow… Midna has turned sides, and Fi just left Impa's side defending the allied base from Midna… wait, what? Fi gets Midna's attention. "There is a 99% chance that you are simultaneously at the allied base fighting Impa… though that is impossible… I'm confused."
Midna is just about as confused at Fi. Unless Zant has tapped into some crazy personality-splitting magic and made a duplicate of her, it isn't possible for her to be in two places at once. She demands, "Protect this keep. I'll check things out."
Surely enough, Impa is defending herself from a discolored, cursed Twilight Princess. Upon approaching the keep, Midna couldn't help but notice Zant enjoying himself safely on the outside of the keep. Midna wouldn't be offended by this, except Tingle is laughing with him.
Nothing is funny anymore when Midna mercilessly smashes the doppelganger into the ground. Dark magic radiates off the clone. Midna should have guessed it was him.
"I knew that wasn't Midna!" expresses Fi. That killed the moment, utterly decimated it, in fact. Tingle still thinks something is funny, though.
Midna moves back. She isn't completely heartless; she'll give the wizard a chance to explain himself. Wizzro manages to regain the feeling in his hands and finds the strength to hover just above the ground like usual. He ceases to mimic Midna's image.
"How much is Zant offering you to do this? Because you're not getting any of that prize; he's scamming you," the cursed one bluntly states.
Wizzro laughs. He comes back with, "The promise of a good time was enough to sell it to me." Midna doesn't know whether to be utterly disgusted or fuming with rage. Perhaps a little bit of both. He's just asking for a war with her, and she really doesn't feel like dealing with this guy on a regular basis.
Much to everyone's surprise, Midna turns to Zant and gives an inappropriate gesture to show just how much she hates him right now, which is more than usual.
"Gasp!" Yes, Wizzro literally says the word aloud instead of doing it. "That was incredibly rude for a princess. I love it."
"Spare me the stench of your words and your breath," Midna chastises. The battle continues on, but Midna and Wizzro have engaged in a separate war of the words. The entire verbal skirmish is rather lengthy, so the following are just a few honorable rebuttals.
Wizzro: "… I once had a dream that Lana learned to drive and ran you over. I woke up with an ache in my side. Volga said he woke up to the sound of me laughing in my sleep."
Midna: "Cia told me she wishes to return you from the warehouse you came from. Tell me, rag, where were you manufactured?" Wizzro: "The rainbow factory." Midna follows up with a vulgar word. Insert twilight realm profanity here_
Midna: "I feel sorry for you." Wizzro: "Why?" Midna: "The only difference between you and Link is a hot body. It must be painful knowing that, and that's why I pity you." Wizzro follows up with unintelligible blabber, perhaps an ancient language long forgotten. Midna: "Hold that thought while I go apologize to Link for comparing him to you."
This banter would have probably gone on forever if Impa and Zant hadn't interrupted them with the news that Zant faced crushing defeat. Midna guffaws in both the traitor's face and the wizard's face, once for each of them. Impa comments that Midna hardly helped secure that win, and Wizzro returns that guffaw to Midna.
The rivals patiently wait until their fellow warriors are out of range. Wizzro then turns to Midna. "This isn't over."
"Not by a long shot." Thus a strong rivalry was born.
…
On Agitha's birthday, Cia decided to pay the insect girl a visit. Agitha invited Zelda, Lana, Impa, and Link to her celebratory tea party. She did not invite Cia or her dirty minions! Agitha's rage instigates a battle, three on five. Proxi makes herself scarce, aiming to make the battle even more unfair.
Meanwhile, in the mountains, Darunia is accompanied by an annoying princess. "You and me, arm wrestle sometime. Of course, I'll be using my hair, if that's not unfair." What? You thought I was talking about Princess Ruto?
Darunia shakes his head. "Just pure arm muscle. I'll go easy on you, since it would be bad if I broke your arm." Midna chuckles, sitting herself on Darunia's buff shoulder. He's not quite as comfortable as Link, but whatever. In fact, this guy is as comfortable as a wooden bed, but Midna's doesn't plan to stay long in this position.
"Hey! Muscle man and fire wig!" calls the unmistakable Proxi.
Midna calls back, "Hey winged megaphone!" Darunia winces as Midna hollers right next to his ear. He will give her credit, though; she's loud enough to be a brother.
Darunia calmly inquires the approaching messenger, "Something's going on with brother Link?"
"Well, it is Agitha's birthday-," and Darunia is instantly done with this conversation. Proxi yells, "Wait! That's not the emergency!"
Midna laughs before stating, "No, I'm pretty sure Agitha's birthday is a crisis in itself." If Proxi was dynamite, her fuse would have been lit by now. "Cia and her minions have attacked Agitha, on her birthday!" bellows the frustrated fairy companion.
Darunia is still done with this conversation. He confirms that Cia is now a brother and takes his leave; so much for having muscles in this fight. Midna doesn't follow the chieftain. "Rude, on so many levels. I'll take care of this."
Returning to the base of the mountain where the air isn't as thin, the trio has split up to handle the horde of opponents they engaged in battle.
Volga is experiencing some tactical difficulties. He calls on his mistress: "Cia, Wizzro has turned!"
Cia is slightly confused. She asks, "Turned? Like… he's on drugs? What are you implying?"
"I don't know what he did with Lana, but Impa received the upper hand on me when Wizzro joined her cause. He's a traitor!"
Cia is outraged. "Wizzro!"
The real Wizzro has Lana pinned down. He shouts, "I'm a little busy over here!"
"Set aside your petty feud with Volga and focus on the task at hand!" Cia commands. This only confuses the wizard. Yes, he has a small feud currently raging with Volga, but that's between him and the dragon knight. He wouldn't take his rage against Volga to the battlefield, not like this at least.
Everything becomes clear when an exact duplicate of him enters the keep with Impa close behind. He groans in pure annoyance and says, "You went there."
The imposter responds with a devilish smirk and the response, "Oh yeah, I went there." She reveals herself. Impa is relieved. "It's Princess Midna! We have a secure ally in this fight!"
"Yay! Miss Kitty!" Agitha has never been more excited to hear news of Midna. Wizzro has never been more irritated at news of Midna.
Then Impa remembers what happened last time Midna and Wizzro were caught in the same keep. To prevent a repeat of that, she quickly instigates a physical battle, and lucky for her, this succeeds. The rivals start dealing physical damage to one another.
She soon comes face-to-face with the fact that Midna and Wizzro are pretty evenly matched… and that neither of them is willing to wave the white flag. They are tussling long after the main fight is over and into the night. Eventually Agitha got to resume her tea party. She was actually kind of thrilled that Volga was gentlemanly enough to join.
…
Insert Cia having a meltdown here_
"Mistress Cia!" Volga calls over Cia cursing at the top of her lungs. She shuts up long enough for Volga to say, "We've found evidence that Zant is the thief."
Cia hisses through clenched teeth, "What possible evidence could you have to confirm that?!"
Wizzro nonchalantly holds up a note. "A crudely written note from Zant claiming he took it. What more do you want?"
Cia is instantly cool like igneous rock. Then she smirks. "Fingerprints." Like detectives, Wizzro and Volga start dusting for fingerprints.
Wizzro stops what he is doing thirty minutes in. He bellows, "This is stupid!" Upon throwing his utensils to the floor, his duster rebounds into Volga's face.
Cia gets a laugh out of this and declares that before anything else they are going to take back what is rightfully theirs. "But we'll do this tactfully."
"Finally!" This is a change Volga has long waited for.
Wizzro senses a crafty glint in Cia's eye. He instantly has a bad feeling. Cia starts to leave. As she does, she turns back, claiming she'll be back in no time. "Don't follow me." Wizzro's stomach starts to turn. He has a feeling that he knows exactly what Cia is doing.
He disobeys his mistress.
He is too late. "Deal," and Midna shakes Cia's hand. Wizzro curses under his breath. This is going to be the longest battle ever. "Curse you, Zant!" He said this aloud, attracting the attention of both females.
Midna looks at Cia. "Yeah, and curse Zant, too. Only then will I help you."
Cia chuckles before reminding, "You've already agreed to my terms. Our deal is set." Midna mutters in annoyance too quietly for anyone to hear. It should be noted that Cia is not an idiot; she orders that the rivals set aside their personal skirmishes until after they have bested Zant, or there will be "heavy consequences". Midna isn't quite sure what Cia means by that, but she isn't taking any chances.
…
Zant has fortified the Twilight Palace with the foresight that Cia would chase him down for her prize. He also figured that Cia would attempt some sort of strategical advantage, though he didn't think it would be Midna. No matter, though, as the Twili imp will be too occupied with a certain wizard to do anything productive. That automatically kills two birds with one stone. Thank you Cia for your stupidity. Zant is tempted to get out the victory champagne now, but he controls himself. After all, it will taste so much better after he successfully drives Cia's forces away with his rightfully stolen relic safe in his clutches.
If he loses? Ghirahim can have it. It will be funny to watch Ghirahim try to get the bottle open without spraying champagne everywhere.
Outside the palace, Cia summons legions of monsters. Her three commanders wait patiently for her call. Volga uses this idle time wisely, conceiving a strategy based on tidbits of information Midna is willing to share.
Cia hears a final-chance-to-surrender call from Zant. She returns it with suave. Midna imagines a vivid reaction from Zant, and gets a kick out of it. Wizzro pulls her from her fantasies. "What did Cia promise you for this?"
"Pardon?" replies Midna, seemingly uninterested in the subject.
"You heard me," Wizzro menacingly snarls. "What was your deal with Cia?"
Midna smirks. She whispers, "We win, Cia loses one minion, and I gain one." Volga overheard this. If what Midna said was true, winning this battle means freedom, whether that is from Cia or Wizzro, Volga doesn't care. He makes a mental note to thank Midna later.
Now Wizzro has a tough choice to make. Does he faithfully serve Cia at the risk of winning the battle and becoming Midna's slave (not that he would listen to her anyways), or does he sabotage the mission at risk of getting found out by Cia, heaven forbid what she'd do to him.
Women are cruel in this day and age.
Let the battle begin! Someone hit the gong! …Wait for it…. BWWWOOONG. There it is.
Cia's forces are split three ways, hoping to corner Zant right in the middle. And Cia's most important command: "Don't let anything happen to my relic!" Volga decided to block the middle passage, just so Zant would get squished by Midna and Wizzro coming in from the sides.
Zant attempts escape through Volga's route, just as Cia predicted. However, both Cia and Volga are horrified to learn that this Zant is a magical double. When Volga incinerates it, Cia immediately sense the presence of the real Twilight King at the fairy fountain. The dark sorceress immediately changes her course to the fairy fountain, ready to take down that tricky Twili herself.
Meanwhile, Wizzro is ready to crush any Twili with the large twilight door he severed from the castle. To be honest, he doesn't really care what Twili he crushes, so long as he gets to use this rock slab of a door for something.
Midna fought her way into the throne room, but her effort was in vain. Just an angry moblin was there. Midna entertained herself with the thought of Zant having the body figure of a moblin as she pummeled all monsters in that room. She decides to come out the other end of the palace. …After thinking about that sentence, that sounded really wrong, but Midna doesn't care. She has said and thought some pretty undiplomatic things for a princess.
There is a door that looks particularly odd to Midna. "That's funny. I didn't think those doors could be unhinged from the palace." Those were Midna's last words as that very same door smashes her under its weight.
Wizzro shrugs. "Oops." That was actually really satisfying, like a mug of hot chocolate after shoveling snow for several hours. His satisfactory feeling is crushed when the full power of the complete Fused Shadows gives Midna the ability to effortlessly hurl the door.
The twilight king screams bloody murder when the roof of the fairy fountain is taken clean off by an airborne palace door. Zant surrenders out of sheer terror, though Cia, too, likely would have surrendered of the same reason. Her skin looks like she hasn't seen the sun since she was born, and her heart may have stopped beating altogether. The Great Fairy is very displeased with the destruction of the fairy fountain.
The dragon knight and his comrade exchange dazed glances. They don't notice Midna return to her impish form and collapse of exhaustion. Volga returns from his trance before Wizzro does. Like the gentleman he is, Volga lifts the princess into his arms and carries her off the battlefield. He also collects a shaky Cia, though unlike Midna, he just gently leads Cia away.
…
Cia honors her deal. The curse is lifted, and Cia's minions get a glance at Midna's true form for the first time.
Wizzro is raged and confused. "Wait, this was the agreement?!"
Midna rolls her eyes. She explains, "I was messing with you, hoping you'd do something stupid like attempt sabotage. I didn't expect you to crush me."
"Which was equally as stupid," Volga adds. This is also the first Cia has heard of any of this, and she listens intently.
Midna takes her leave, sashaying out of the Valley of Seers. Wizzro fails to contain his frustration, taking his leave to a place where nobody will get hurt from his rage. This leaves Cia to question Volga what the conniption is about, and Volga gladly dispatches much needed information that Cia missed.
Cia calls her other, less cooperative minion. He shows up, though he isn't happy about it. Cia questions, "You seriously thought that after winning I would relieve one of my minions of servitude to me?" Wizzro is stunned silent. Just the fact that Cia said that in such a playful way is silencing.
Wizzro's mistress sighs, shaking her head. "You guys have no faith in me." She allows a moment to let a strange wave of realization and emotion to wash over Wizzro. Then Cia smiles, "So I hear Midna has been messing with you."
The Twilight Princess returns to her palace. There are a few monster corpses scattered around, but otherwise it feels like home. Unexpectedly, dark magic makes its way into Midna, and she once again takes her cursed form.
Midna is never making a deal with Cia again.
Author's Notes- To those of you who have patiently waited for my return, thank you very much. I have recently been uninspired, but I thankfully received Hyrule Warriors Legends recently, which has rekindled inspiration in me. I will fulfill my promise to myself to reach chapter 30 of this collection before starting a new collection with the new warriors from Legends involved. Chapter 30 will also be the Q&A, if anyone still has some last-minute questions they would like to ask the warriors. Finally, the wolf pups made their return in this chapter. I would like to thank everyone who suggested name ideas for the final two pups. Savage was suggested by UltimateCCC, and Rusl was suggested by love3509. Hopefully the next chapter will come faster than this one did.