It took two hours of backtracking followed by almost four hours of waiting on a ledge with a hidden vantage point before Selise sensed the Inquisition soldiers. She'd woken that morning with a vision that they were advancing, and explained what needed to be done.
"They're close, and stopping to rest," she whispered. "I'm going to go."
Anders nodded, glad that they could finally get it over with so they could continue on their way.
"Give me five minutes, and then you can go for the horse," she said and then she was gone, slipped silently off the ledge without even a glance over to Anders first.
There hadn't been much conversation while riding on any of the days they traveled, but ever since Selise had brought up, and then dropped, the idea of returning the book she had become particularly quiet. It was increasingly difficult even to catch her eye and get her to look at him. She'd sit for long periods by the fire and stare into space while letting a mug of tea get cold in her hand. At first he thought maybe she was just letting him focus on reading the book. But it'd been three days now, and aside from her insisting they needed to deal with the issue of the horse, she'd had little to say.
He kept trying to shrug it off, reminding himself that they had plenty of things to be worried about, not the least of which was the imminent issue of their need to eat. She had started to get noticeably thinner, and he too was feeling a significant energy drain. But as the days crept by, he'd remained unable to ignore the uneasy stabs of worry he felt as he watched her moving about like an empty shell, her mind far away. She'd always insist that she was fine whenever he asked, but it seemed like she was drifting away from him. Was it that she really wanted that badly to give the book back? It had seemed such an unexpected request after she herself had done so much to get it for him in the first place. But since her suggestion had turned inadvertently into an argument, with him getting much more heated than he should have, she'd dropped the subject entirely. But he couldn't believe that she wasn't still thinking about it.
He figured he should keep in mind how she had just completely walked away from her life for him. But the truth was that he'd begun to fear that she might be having a change of heart about even being there. Though if that was true, she wasn't saying so, and aside from the quiet, not much else had changed. She wasn't pulling away when he touched her. She still clung to him fiercely at night. But it was disconcertingly clear that something was different.
He waited what he guessed to be about five minutes as Selise had instructed, and then rose to return to the horse, walking the animal closer to where Selise had run, and leashing him to a tree on the opposite side of the ice. The plan was to make the horse easily visible for whenever the troops began to move again, so that they would see and hopefully reclaim him.
Selise was standing in the middle of the ice waiting to wave him over to the camp, which consisted of four soldiers and two Templars plus their mounts. Their sleeping bodies lay scattered on a bank of snow alongside the ice, all slumped gently over as though they had simply nodded off in the middle of conversation.
Together the two them began rifling through the soldier's packs, searching in earnest for their stores of food. He and Selise couldn't afford to carry much more weight than they already had, and they wanted to take only enough so that the soldiers wouldn't be entirely convinced that anything was even missing. But the hunger that was wringing out their stomachs drove them to desperation, and as soon as Selise found the first supply she began shoving nuts and strips of dried meats into her mouth. She walked over to him to thrust a small portion into his hands, which he ate eagerly.
In addition to the nuts and meats, the group was carrying mushrooms, berries and some dense little oat cakes that were sweetened with honey. Selise removed small portions of every item from each supply, just enough so that the same amounts remained from soldier to soldier. If Anders' calculations were right about their location, they only needed a few days of rations, since their imminent descent into the foothills should mean finally coming upon some game they could hunt.
Quickly, they put everything back where it was and left the small camp behind them.
It was Anders idea to walk a trail away from the horse up into the snow in the opposite direction of where they were going. He figured they could hike up to a distant outcropping of rocks, and then have their trail disappear there. It took a while, but eventually he spotted a rocky ledge that could allow them to follow the rocks off into many directions, including eventually dropping back down onto the ice without leaving more prints in the snow. Even if all it did was throw the soldiers off for an hour or two while they searched the hills and figured out it was a set up, that was two more hours of time bought. He and Selise would be on foot now, giving them a great disadvantage compared to pursuers with horses. They could only hope that having to take on an extra mount, and one that was tired and in need of recuperation at that, might help to slow them down even further. At least until he and Selise could reach terrain which would not be hospitable to horses for a while before they made their final descent.
Selise had stuffed her pockets with feed, and she quickly allowed the horse to relieve her of it before she bid him a sorrowful goodbye, rubbing sweetly down his neck even as he pranced about and nuzzled at her pockets for more food. They continued on their way, making their trail and then dropping back down to the ice bed to cross over and leave their glacial road behind.
Traveling on foot in the snow was predictably much slower than the quick clip they had gotten used to, but there were many protruding rocks providing solid footing, and now that they were within the treeline they no longer had the icy sting of the breeze biting at their faces. About an hour past their departing point they finally had no choice but to walk in the snow, their pathway of rocks receding into the distance behind them, leaving each step to sink down until they were up to their shins, slowing them even further. Anders glanced at Selise as they pressed forward, and she had her head down, the black waves of her hair spilling out of her hood and down the front of her chest. She couldn't wear it up if she wanted to keep the hood on, but Anders was glad to see it cascading in wild waves over her for a change. It was a deep reddish brown that was so dark it was almost black, and it reminded him of the scales he had seen on a Dragon once just outside of Kirkwall. She stayed focused, looking only where she planned on taking a step, and Anders felt a deep throb of sadness as he watched her trudge along. She hadn't complained once during the whole trip no matter how miserable things had gotten, and she had let the horse go without bringing up the book again.
He opened his mouth to call out to her, to try to say something to end the disconnection between them, but any words he could conjure up died in his throat. After a few more steps, he gave up the impulse, figuring they should probably stay quiet anyway, at least until they were much further out, away from the corridor of ice which the soldiers would be traveling. They couldn't risk alerting anyone on horseback to their presence. He swallowed the lump in his throat and continued walking forward.
They stepped into the energy field of the Fade rift without warning, both feeling the disturbance in the Veil at the same time. Almost immediately Anders' eyes began to glow their surreal blue, though he seemed to remain the one in control. Selise froze in place and cautiously looked around, trying to glean whatever information she could from the energy surrounding her, but it was like being submerged in an ocean current without the ability to tell up from down. There was movement within it, the energy undulating and swirling, a piece of the Fade brought into the physical realm but left inconstant, changeable. Piercing through was the sharp vibrations from Anders' spirit passenger, with the result being an overwhelming, disorienting whirlwind of energy. The view on all sides was blocked by close hills of snow and ice, any one of which could be the one obscuring the rip.
Anders looked around wildly, his incandescent blue eyes blinking back and forth, trying to find the source. It was clear what it was, just not where it was. Only that it was close. The hair on Selise's arms and neck stood up as she recalled the long limbs of those eerily unhurried figures from several days back. She had no desire to face down any of those things. Anders swung his staff free, cutting it effortlessly through the air as though it was an extension of his body, and Selise followed his cue and released her own from its holder. The long piece of greyed wood was unexpectedly light in weight, but as it merged with with her magic, reverberating tremors began to thrum within its core. She felt downright clumsy wielding it compared to Anders' smooth motions. She pointed it at a tree and almost unleashed a blast of power just to test it out, but stopped herself. She filled with a quiet worry that her lack of success with other staffs might mean she'd end up as more of a hindrance than a help, and she knew already that creatures from the Fade did not respond to Entropy magic. They had no life to drain, at least not the kind of life that she needed.
She thought better of testing the staff. The last thing she wanted to do was attract attention from the demons and whatever other creatures came from the rip.
"Either we take a chance and go over one of these hills, or we backtrack," she said. "The Inquisitor is the only one who can close these things. And my magic is practically useless on them."
Anders' head only tilted in her direction in acknowledgment of her words, but his fighting crouch didn't change. His staff glowed, fully charged with a power so intense Selise found it a little frightening. The violence contained within would draw the attention of anyone nearby, most especially any Inquisition soldiers.
But it was also reassuring. She knew only what her imagination told her about the creatures that spilled forth from these rips, and it would probably take something of Anders' intensity to defend the two of them. Especially as she wasn't sure she could be of any help. She waited, and slowly he took a step backward, creeping away from the consuming cloud.
She glanced again to Anders and found herself completely entranced by his transformed face, by the glowing eyes both vacant and knowing, by the calm confidence that he exuded. He stood as a sentinel, waiting, taking in things about their surroundings that she knew she could only guess. She remembered the way the world had been vividly enhanced in the dungeon when that spirit blue climbed up her arm and reached her eyes. Colors exploded in number, immeasurably different and full of life, and she been able to see the Veil before her, clear as day. If she could see the Veil now, she would know in what direction the Fade rift lay. Anders should be able to see that himself, but he was giving no indication.
In a moment of impulse she let her staff fall to the ground and approached, entering the sphere of wind that surrounded him, a barrier of energy she had barely even registered until she crossed its threshold.
The moment her fingertips touched his skin and she began to draw from him, the icy cold energy surged through her as though it had been waiting for the opportunity, straining to expand beyond its boundaries and hungry for any additional space that it could fill. It climbed her cells, dug its feet into her pores and pulled her into itself like a quicksand. She briefly registered the blue orbs of Anders eyes gaping at her, his mouth fallen open in shock. But when the spirit lens filled her vision, uncovering the multitudes of wavelengths normally hidden, all she could see were the pulsating colors and the translucent shine of the Veil. She focused on the ripples that poured through it and followed them to its origin. It led to a piercingly sharp pull of energy over the small hill to her right. She knew they needed to retreat, but she discovered herself being called toward it, feeling the spirit of Justice within her urging her to explore the portal that would lead back to his origin.
She fought the pull, tugging on Anders' arm in the opposite direction of the disturbance. She felt his body relax under her grip, obeying her direction. Justice was struggling within them, trying to rise up and take full control, but with his energy split between the two bodies he couldn't seem to find a toehold. Yet she felt his power. He was a manifest piece of the Fade, lending them a connection that was deeper and wider than any that came naturally. She felt something far beyond her usual well of mana, something like an ocean of power that inundated and swallowed up her meager little pond.
A gasp and the pull of Anders' resistance caught her attention, breaking through the rush of sensory inundation, and she turned to see bright brown eyes looking back at her. Brown, not blue. She quickly dropped his arm and felt the viscous stick of the energy as it left her, drawing itself reluctantly back to Anders and leaving her feeling empty and overheated, the world around her falling muted and dull. She hadn't been paying attention, and had almost taken too much. Almost all of it, it seemed, an end reached far too easily for her comfort.
But she knew now where the Fade rift was. She hastened her retreat, urging Anders to follow but he only continued to gawk at her with a mixture of shock and horror.
She grabbed his arm again and turned swiftly to pull him into a run, but was brought to a frightened halt by the image of an approaching figure. At first glance it looked like a giant green spider, and then she realized it was crouching. As it launched into the air she recognized the unnaturally thin and long limbs.
Anders sprung into action, putting himself between Selise and the creature and firing off a blazing bolt of magic that connected with the figure, knocking it out of the air and into a hard landing. Selise picked up her staff, feeling it fire up under her touch and ran up onto the highest of small hills around them, looking into the little valleys for any other approaching figures.
The staff she wielded obeyed, shooting a stream of flames at the approaching demon but any damage she might have done was lost, swallowed up within the devastating fury of Anders' attack. He was a distracting sight and she found herself struck useless, gawking at his effortless mastery of the spells of destruction. He flashed light and dark, building up a tremendous power that burst into a massive electrical storm. She shook herself out of her trance when the creature let out a shrieking, blood-curdling cry and she doubled her efforts, focusing her energy into the staff and letting the fire course wildly toward the green body. The onslaught of magic stopped it in its tracks and within seconds the creature fell with a dramatic flail. Selise stood in awe, chest heaving and heart racing in her ears.
In the distance, she heard the echoes of another shrieking cry and Anders turned to look at her, eyes once again glowing blue.
"Run!" he called, and they both threw themselves forward and out of the Fade cloud, pushing their over-encumbered bodies through the shin deep snow at an impossibly slow speed. She embraced the chill of the coursing adrenaline in her veins, following its urging and letting it carry her heavy body forward, pushing her on despite the burning lungs and heaving chest, the pack that wanted to crush her beneath it, through her aching knees and lead filled feet. They ran for what felt like miles, but when finally he stopped and they surveyed their progress, they were still well within eyesight of the rift. It glowed a bile green, and seemed all the brighter for the illumination it cast upon the hills of snow below it.
"Shit," she gasped, expecting that they would be farther. In unhurried pursuit were numerous moving bodies following the rough trail they carved through the snowy field. She counted five figures before finally they turned again and continued on. Each stride through the snow was stretched as wide as they could manage, propelling them onward, escape being their only defense from the foul beasts on their trail.
Her muscles burned, her heart pounded like crashing waves in her ears and her breath came in hard, frosty puffs of smoke. She focused only on the next step, unable to comprehend the possibility of keeping up the effort beyond that.
After an hour they approached another rocky ledge and gratefully pulled their weary bodies out of the snow and onto the easier steps of the exposed rock. Anders dropped his pack and scaled up a ridge to a jutting cliff while Selise collapsed to attempt to restore the oxygen to her body, blinking away the floating spots of blue that hovered within her vision.
"I don't see them," he said after he reappeared, falling to the rock and splaying himself out.
Selise could sleep right there she realized. Her limbs were heavy, throbbing with overuse. She closed her eyes and tried to slow her breathing, easing the oxygen into her searing lungs.
"Good," she panted.
"We can't rest for long," he gasped, "just because we can't see them doesn't mean they aren't still there."
"Uh huh," she groaned.
It was an unusually quiet and short night at camp. Once the day's ration of food and tea were consumed, they collapsed fully clothed in their tent, resting together under an inadequate layering of blankets. Anders hadn't even had the energy to ask her about what he had seen back before the fight with the demon, and within minutes of hitting the ground she heard his breathing deepen. She held him tightly as he dozed, realizing for the first time since their escape how desperately she missed Skyhold. She longed for the soft, warm bed in her quarters, the copper tub filled with heated water, the long, quiet nights they had spent luxuriating in each other's arms, free of worries about people and other beasts chasing, hunting them. No need to try to ignore the blisters on their feet, their loosening clothing and perpetually growling stomachs.
She sighed, her body aching but still too weighed down with exhaustion to bother readjusting her position. Her last thought was to wonder if it might finally be the night that Solas returned to her in her dreams.
But it was not. Morning came entirely too early, following a cold night of fitful sleep. But as the sun rose Selise was heartened to hear the distant chorus of a songbird. Finally, they should be getting closer to the foothills, just days away from grass, and game to hunt and the possibility of a night in a real bed if they could make it to an inn. She groaned as she rolled to her side and tried to sit up. She had scarcely moved at all in the night and she felt stiff and sore.
Anders' bloodshot eyes were watching her as she stretched the creaks from her bones.
"Back there… yesterday… did I see what I thought I saw?" he asked. "You and… Justice?"
Selise nodded.
"You took him into you? Why would you do that? Why in the Void would you do that?"
"The drain spell in the dungeon. It happened first then. I hadn't meant to do it. It just happened when I was trying to get rid of Vengeance," she said.
"But you meant to do it yesterday," he said.
She nodded again.
"Please don't do that again," he asked quietly.
"I might need to," she said as she fidgeted.
"You can't Selise!"
She said nothing, knowing she couldn't make him any promises about it. They sat in silence for a stretch and then he pulled himself upright groaning with the effort and throwing off the blankets.
"Love," he began as he grabbed the sleeve of her coat and pulled her back into his arms.
"Talk to me," he asked sadly, "Where have you gone?" he asked.
"What?"
"You've been so far away… for days," he observed sadly, "What else is there that you're not talking to me about?"
She looked down into her fidgeting hands. She had been quiet, but they both had.
"Do you regret it? Coming with me?" he asked eventually.
"Anders!" she gasped.
His eyes were red fiery pits, his brows drawn with a worry that chafed at her.
She laid a heavy hand over his his heart.
"Is this why you are aching?" she asked. He only looked more confused, his brows drawing down even tighter.
"What?" he asked.
"I can feel it," she told him. "I can feel everything."
He gave a soft confused laugh and shook his head.
She leaned in to rest her forehead in the nook of his neck, letting herself open completely, merging with everything he felt.
"I don't regret it," she said. "Of course I don't, Anders. I do miss Skyhold… I do worry about things. But I don't want to be there if you're not there."
His arms tightened around her, pulling her into his lap.
"Talk to me," he whispered.
"Anders… What do you want me to say?"
"What are you thinking about? Why are you so quiet? Is it the book? Is it me? What is it?"
"I don't…. I don't mean to worry you. I have been sort of stuck in the past a little bit lately I guess…" she said, realizing in that moment that there were a number of things she hadn't told him about. Such as Solas.
He sighed, laying a kiss on her temple.
"It's not that I mean to keep things from you Anders. I… I am not used to this. To having someone who…"
They were interrupted by a crashing sound outside their tent. Selise scrambled to her feet first and pulled Anders up. They peeked outside the flaps of the tent and saw colorful flashes of magic, spells being thrown with such frequency that there could only be multiple casters. She felt a chill crawl up her back. Could the Inquisition have sent mages out to locate them?
They threw their boots on and crept out of the tent, peering down into a small valley that lay below the rocky crevasse where they made their camp. Walking directly, deliberately toward them was a group of mages, led by a coffee skinned man who wore a deep blue robe. Selise could feel the magical energy growing as they approached, leaving behind them three demonic bodies dissipating in the snow. Creatures from a Fade rift.
Her heart jumped into her throat, a growing pool of unease spreading through her.
"Do we run?" she asked looking around at their strewn about possessions. They'd have to leave behind the tent.
"They've already seen us," Anders observed.
"But where did they come from? There is nothing else out here. They don't even seem to have any gear!"
"They must have a camp close," he whispered, grabbing her hand. "I don't think we have any other choice but to see what they want. Whatever you do, don't tell them who I am."
"What if they already know?"
"Then you stun them and we flee. What else can we do?"
Anders straightened his back and stepped out from behind the tent, showing himself to them. Selise stepped behind him to await their arrival, feeling her skin begin to crawl with an inexplicable dread.