Let's go round again?

Chapter Four

Very little was said during the drive back to Harry's house. It seemed as though both of them were unsure; unsure and in Ruth's case just a little terrified. Not of Harry, never of Harry rather she was very aware of how easily she was being sucked into his world again. And she wasn't at all sure she wanted to have old wounds opened, to have old feelings resurrected. She'd spent a lot of time and effort coming to terms with her past, becoming comfortable with it. She'd reached a stage where she was able to think of them all; Danny, Jo, Adam and all the others she'd lost and remember them with smiles as well as tears, joy as well as anguish and she didn't know if she could cope with the hornets nest she might well have stirred up with the decisions she'd taken in the last few hours.

It seemed that Harry was in no mood to talk either as when she'd helped him from the car and they'd successfully negotiated their way into his house he'd turned to her and said

"Do you mind awfully Ruth if I go straight up? I should really take a bath or a shower at least but I just can't summon the energy. I don't know what they gave me but." and his speech was cut short by a massive yawn. He smiled at her, a flash of the old Harry surfacing for a moment before he carried on "Shall I lock up Ruth, make sure it's all secure before I go up? Did you find the spare bedroom?"

Suddenly he looked very unsure of himself as though he had just heard the words he'd spoken "I'm sorry Ruth, am I supposing too much? Of course we haven't discussed if you're going to stay here have we. Sorry to be so presumptuous it's just..."

"Go up to bed Harry" she told him quietly "Of course I'm staying. I'm not going to drive all the way across London at this time of night or rather the morning and you don't have to bother with the door I've got to go back to the car and get a few things. And Harry do you want to give me that bag you're clutching as though your life depended on it."

He held up the white plastic carrier marked Patients Property and shrugging he handed it over to her. It contained his wrecked clothing as well as his wallet, broken watch and smashed phone. Taking it from him she told him "We can sort all this out in the morning Harry, just go on up. Shall I bring you a warm drink up? Some hot chocolate?"

"If you can find any hot chocolate in my cupboards Ruth it will be a miracle. If you can find any milk that's fresh enough to drink that will be another one. You, we'll have to sort out some shopping in the morning. I don't want you to starve while you're here."

"Good night Harry. Go on up. I'll be up in a little while."

As soon as the words were out of her mouth she was kicking herself. God why did nearly everything she was saying seem to have a double meaning. They stared as each other before he moved down the hall to the stairs and putting one foot on the bottom step he said over his shoulder

"I'll see you in the morning Ruth. Thank you for coming to my rescue, it's more than I deserve."

She watched as he made his way painfully up the stairs, wanting to offer him her help but knowing instinctively that he would not welcome any such offer. His pride and self worth had been dented enough for one night.

Sighing she turned away and made her way back to the car, opening the boot she took out her overnight bag and the various carrier bags that she'd flung in beside it. This was the reason she'd been late back to the hospital. The trip to her house to collect her belongings had of course been routine but the trip to the twenty four hour supermarket had been prompted by the state of Harry's fridge and cupboards.

In no time at all she'd got everything packed away and made two mugs of hot chocolate which she carried carefully up the stairs. Taking one into the spare room she walked across the landing and tapped gently on the closed door of Harry's room. The bedside light was on and it cast a gentle shadow over the large bed and it's occupant. She moved to stand beside the figure in the bed and said softly "Hot chocolate Harry and it's made with fresh milk."

There was no reply from the bed and his breathing seemed to be deep and steady. Leaving the mug on the bedside table she made her way quietly to the door pausing on the way to pick up his discarded slippers which she placed neatly by the bed and his dressing gown which he'd dropped in a heap on the floor. "Messy sod" she whispered to herself as she hung it on the bedroom door before she made her way downstairs to check the doors, windows and alarms before she collected her bag and made her way back up the stairs.

Harry listened intently to it all. He had been feigning sleep not wanting to give in until he was sure that she was staying. He laid, all of his senses on high alert as he listened to her go out to her car, waiting, dreading to here the sound of her driving off and leaving him. But no she'd not done that and now he was even more terrified because she would here in his house tomorrow and he had to find a way to make her understand that they were meant to be together. From the moment he blurted out her name and contact number at the hospital he been fearful of her reaction. He'd laid there in that small room waiting for them to come and tell him that she wanted nothing to do with him; after all it was what he deserved but she'd come. She'd come to rescue him. Surely that meant something?Or was he just kidding himself?

Sighing he reached under his pillow and pulled out a small key and after opening the draw in his bedside table he took out the photograph that he talked to every night before he slept. It was a picture of the two of them taken in The George a long time ago. They had their heads close together, probably because of the noise but they looked comfortable together, they looked like a couple.

He held it to his chest and whispered into dim light of the room "Well by some quirk of fate she's here now Harry but how are you going to keep her here?" before he placed the picture under his pillow and drifted off to sleep.