Hazel Levesque is the kind of girl that everyone knows, but nobody knows. You know?
The kind of a girl that occasionally forgets to take her anti-depressants and sort of, kinda shoplifts. Stealing is like her replacement anti-depressant. Back-up plan. Second choice. Another option. Not quite prescribed, but a hell of a lot more effective than those pills.
Hazel Levesque is the kind of girl that gets so low *sometimes, so drained of energy and spirit and feelings, that she makes a hurried excuse to her parents, dashes out of her house and takes some things to fill in the hole in her heart.
*Sometimes is quite often actually. Everything wounds up in the closet, crumpled and forgotten. Can't risk being seen wearing that sweater that coincidentally, some anonymous person (around 5"5'? Dark skin, lots of bushy hair? Have you seen her?) stole recently.
Yeah, sure, she's been caught. Usually her parents don't have to get involved but with the occasional case that they do, they just brush it off, take her back to more therapists, try to get her hooked with stronger medication. Just have to let them believe she's doing better and then that's one less problem to get rid of! Right?
No, Hazel Levesque was not the kind of depressed that she wants to die. Nor is she littered with cuts. In fact, other than some thoughtless comments about her skin that she doesn't care much for, she hasn't been bullied.
She is the kind of depressed that she sometimes just curls up in a ball, no energy to move, no motivation to think, and she stays that way for a day or two. The kind of depressed that she feels as though something important is missing from her life, but she just can't figure out what (spoiler alert: it's happiness.).
This void inside her, it's something her compulsive stealing can't fix. Sure, it will fill it temporary, occupy it with adrenaline, excitement, and later, anxiety. But every time, without fail, after a few hours, Hazel realises that's not what the gap needs to be satisfied, and then it all disappears and she's back to feeling the same emptiness she started off with, the same emptiness that she's unfortunately, used to.
The anti-depressants don't help. They only numb her emotions, but her emotions are what she needs more of. She needs to feel. Something, anything.
All Hazel wants is to feel complete again. To feel okay. To feel whole.