Ciel woke feeling weak and dizzy, his stomach still ached, he felt slightly different, but he couldn't quite explain his feeling. He opened his eyes slowly, as his vision began to focus, he could see Sebastian sitting next to the bed.

Sebastian sat silently staring straight ahead, a mixture of pain and sorrow in his eyes, if Ciel hadn't known better, he would have thought he saw tears as well.

"Sebastian?" he called weakly, catching the older demon's attention. Sebastian moved forward in his chair and began stroking Ciel's dark hair lovingly.

"I was so worried, you've been asleep for a while now, are you feeling alright?"

"I don't know, I feel different somehow. What happened?" Sebastian reached out his free hand and took hold of Ciel's.

"Do you remember me telling you that I would love you no matter what?" Ciel nodded.

"What about it?" Sebastian sighed heavily.

"I need you to listen carefully and hear me because this is important. I will always love you and I'm not upset with you, I know you tried. There's nothing you could have done differently that would have stopped it, it's not your fault at all. I-"

"What isn't?"

"You mentioned to me that you were feeling strange before, lightheaded for no reason, of that you were exhausted constantly, to the point you couldn't get out of bed. That happened because our child was a danger to you, you lost consciousness when the healer was checking you, you were bleeding internally, this happens when the demonling is positioned in a place they aren't meant to be. There's a chance it wouldn't have survived. The odds according to the healer were around forty percent that it would live. I had no choice, it was literally killing you and-" Sebastian bowed his head.

"And I couldn't lose both of you. If I had allowed it to continue, I would have lost you, I'm sorry Ciel. I love you very much, I meant what I said, it doesn't make me love you any less if you and I never have children. As long as you're here."

"I-it's gone then?" Ciel asked in shock. Sebastian nodded. Ciel felt tears forming in his own eyes.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't even let you have this." He felt Sebastian give his hand a comforting squeeze.

"You had no control over the situation. Right now, you need rest. I need you to be well. I should let the healer know you're awake, Will you be alright for a moment?" Ciel nodded, letting go of Sebastian's hand. The older demon kissed his mate;s forehead and left to bring the healer to the room.

Ciel lay in bed feeling suddenly numb, he blamed himself despite Sebastian's words.

He never wanted the child that had been growing inside him, he resented the creature and now it was gone. He had failed Sebastian. He found himself wishing he would have died to allow his mate to be a father or that Sebastian had taken his soul and avoided this pain.

He held up his left hand, the engagement ring, with the light blue gem surrounded by three small diamonds on each side, the ring Ciel cherished was now something he could no longer look at, he slid the ring off his finger and carefully placed it on the bedside table. He had no right to wear the precious stone that had been in Sebastian's family for centuries. The older demon had it made into a ring especially for Ciel, but because of his selfish behaviors, he had to question if he was ready to be a mate. Maybe Sebastian would be better off with a mate who could give him the child he wanted.

Ciel got through the examination without really hearing what the healer was saying, he found that he didn't care to know. He only wanted it to end.

"Ciel, will you please say something?" Sebastian pleaded after the healer had gone. " you haven't said a word since I told you and forgive my moment of weakness, but right now, I cannot bear the silence."

"It's not weakness to grieve the loss of a child, I've come to realize that it takes more strength to cry and feel the pain than to hold it inside. I have no tears to shed, I have nothing. How can you love something like me?"

"Ciel, please-"

"The child meant so much to you, and I couldn't give it to you, I wanted to but it's over now and I can't feel anything at all. You deserve better." Ciel said quietly.

"You shouldn't be so hard on yourself Ciel, I told you it couldn't be helped. You are my heart. Please, just-" Sebastian's pain was getting to Ciel, he knew the older demon was in need of comfort, he had never seen Sebastian cry. He did the only thing he could think of.

"Sebastian, come lie down with me." he requested quietly.

"Are you certain, I wouldn't want to-"

"The bed's big enough for both of us, you won't hurt me." Ciel assured him. Sebastian walked around the bed and laid down on his side close to Ciel, propping himself up on his elbow. The younger demon reached up and wiped away several tears from his mate's eyes before pulling Sebastian down so that his former butler's head was resting on his chest, Ciel ran his fingers through Sebastian's black hair.

"Are you sure you'll be alright this way?" Sebastian asked.

"I'm sure, we're just lying here, you're not going to hurt me by not doing anything."

"I'm sorry, I've never been this way. I nearly lost you and then-"

'Everyone has limits, you finally found yours. It's alright Sebastian. Any good father would be hurt. I love you." Ciel knew how much his mate needed to hear those three words now.

"I love you too, promise me something?"

"Depends on what." Ciel replied continuing to comfort him as best he could.

"Get well, do this for me, and I promise that I will never ask you to be a mother, I am happy to have you."

"If you don't have an heir, you can't be king, how can-"

"You're all that matters to me, it's always been you and it always will be. With or without the royal title. Never think I wold choose a crown and a piece of furniture over you...it wouldn't bother you , not being royalty?"

"Why would it, you really could have been a butler and I would still have been with you. I loved you before you told me you were the devil's son and I'll continue to." Ciel promised.

"would it be alright if we stayed this way for a while?" Sebastian whispered.

"As long as you like, I'm sorry you're so hurt and I know I'm not much of a comfort, I can barely comfort myself but if there's anything you need from me, tell me and I'll be there as much as I can be."

"You're being an amazing comfort, and all I ask right now is for the return of your health, if I lost you, I would surely die of a broken heart."

"I'll be fine, I promise." Ciel said as both demons closed their eyes . Sebastian would remain in Ciel's arms for several hours until the youmg demon required his medication and a feeding. Though Ciel was hesitant to take it, Sebastian reminded him that under the circumstances, he would have to try in order to regain his strength.

"For me?" Sebastian pleaded helping him to sit up. Ciel winced in pain but then leaned back against his mate.

"Alright Sebastian, if it means that bloody much to you, I'll try but I can't promise I can keep it down." He replied allowing Sebastian to help him drink.

"That's all I ask is that you try." Ciel sipped slowly, he had no choice, he had hurt his mate too much already.