Hey folks...got some new followers. Very exciting...
I will update as much as I can in the next few weeks but I will be getting married on Saturday then off for two weeks to Maine and Massachusetts. I have a few more chapters in the fire and have several more planned in the next few weeks.
Thanks for all the kudos. Please continue to review...this is how I know I am doing a good job.
Disclaimer: I don't own Bones but would like to after they turned Angela into a harpy in the Season premiere.
Booth sat in the tree house and looked around, the only light from the lamp his girlfriend put out there the night it was finished.
He wanted it ready for Parker this summer, so he recruited Wendell and Finn to come over every Saturday to work on it with him. Fisher helped once, but he got too annoying for Booth to deal with. Arastoo he didn't ask because he knew weekends with Cam were their only time to be together.
He remembered the day it was finally done. Christine was spending the night with Max and he convinced Brennan to sit up in the tree house with him. Eventually, he demonstrated his "technique" he would have used on a neighborhood girl back in Philly if he ever had a tree house of his own. Of course, the demo turned into an all-nighter.
That was almost two months ago. 'Right before the shit hit the fan.' he thought to himself.
Booth opened the binder and started reading the first page. As soon as he read the first few paragraphs, he recognized this was a manuscript of Bones'. Not understanding why Max was so insistent on him reading this, he pressed forward. As he started to read further on, he started getting a feeling of déjà vu.
Kathy decided she wanted to make breakfast that morning. She knew it was Lister's thing but she wanted to use the skills she learned while she was on the run after being framed by Anton. She wanted to assert her independence.
As she finished the pancakes, Lister came into the kitchen. Instead of the joke she expected, he got annoyed with her. It seemed like she couldn't do anything right since she got back.
It would also manifest when Lister would get angry when she would let him know that something he wanted to do with their baby wasn't necessary because she tried the activity while on the run. Did he stop loving her? She didn't know.
Booth suddenly realized that this wasn't just her latest novel….it was a diary that she put in novel form. Feeling like that he was violating his girlfriend's privacy, he put it down and closed it. Obviously, she did it this way to hide it from Pelant. It was the right thing to do, he told himself.
Then he remembered his rational Bones irrationally threw a glass in anger. As he played that scene back in his head it dawned on him.
The binder wasn't just a new novel. It became clear to him that if she discuss her feelings in her own persona, then her pain was much greater than he realized. He recalled her then asking him if he broke the engagement off and lied because of her taking Christine.
'Did she really think that?' Booth thought.
It made him sick realizing that he somehow gave the impression that he had not moved on from that. He forgave her months ago for taking off to protect herself from Pelant. Of course after her abandonment, there was no way Bones could leave her child behind. He understood how hard it was on her to take Christine from him with an uncertain return.
He finished another chapter with the following passage:
Kathy knew her crying over the tiger to some would be irrational, but to her it was devastating. Her travels over the years introduced her to many fascinating animals. Animals felt the same things as humans and she regarded them as such. Others she knew felt they were nothing more than money and it disgusted her.
He called her a wild tiger…..rare and beautiful. She was at a point now where she accepted the love given to her by Lister, including the compliments. She knew that was one of Lister's ways of saying how much he loved her and how in his eyes she was the most beautiful woman there was.
She didn't see it, though. She knew she was attractive to men, but all she saw was how adipose tissue concentrated in different areas of her body now that she had given birth. Her buttocks seemed to be larger than before, as were her hips and thighs. She was still in the normal range for her BMI, but she had to work harder to maintain it. Her eyes were a mere blue while Lister's were a beautiful chocolate brown.
But he didn't seem to care…..and it made her forget those imperfections….for a while….almost.
Booth became annoyed. "What fucking imperfections?! Has Bones' weirdo magnifying thingies made her eyes goofy? She is the hottest woman there is, bar none. Hell, her tits alone would put anyone to shame."
As he thought of her body, Booth got a faraway look on his face. "That ass….her thighs of steel…"
He felt himself stiffening up, and started naming saints to calm down. He may have nailed her in the tree house, but he refused to rub one off there because some things were sacred. After several minutes, he began to function again.
"But her eyes are what make her Bones. I can see her emotions, when she is turned on…her soul. All that other stuff is gravy."
Fascinated and needing to know how the story ends, he kept reading. Maybe he could find a clue to make Bones love him again. He wanted to keep her safe, but he may have lost her love for good.
If he lost her, he would make himself physically survive for his children. However, emotionally he would die and he knew it.
Brennan finished her latest crying jag. The last week she had been so tired and little things had set her off. She knew though that her stress levels were through the roof the last several weeks. When she calmed herself, she kept going back to Angela's words earlier.
'Was she being self-centered? Was she wrong to be angry and hurt?'
She couldn't help her feelings….she experienced them. Logically and rationally, she understood that Pelant was always there, but wasn't there any way Booth could have told her? Irrationally, all she felt was hurt for him letting her think it was all her for all that time that almost killed her at times.
Realizing she couldn't put it off any longer, Brennan grabbed the book Angela left. She opened to the first page.
My life sucks right now. The one thing….the one person that made things complete for me is distant….and it's all my fault.
Temperance Brennan may just be a forensic anthropologist to some, an author to others, professor to students, but she's more than that to me. To me, she's my life.
I dreamed of her from Day One. I saw her on that lecture platform and I was done. She was most definitely not my type and totally out of my league, but it didn't matter. Her hair was a dark auburn like the sunsets when we would go to Pop's cabin up by Erie. Her manner of dress was very prim, but it wasn't hard to imagine what she would look like underneath and feel like with my hands and lips.
But when I got closer, it was her eyes that did it. They were the bluest I ever saw, like the clearest sky in God's heaven. There was mystery there and it hooked me.
When we spoke and she stated she was the best, I should have been put off. Instead, I saw it as a challenge. I knew from then on that she would be the standard for which any other woman would be compared.
Back then I was what she would call a degenerate gambler. Life was merely day to day with a son I never got to see and nightmares from my sniper days I had to relive on a nightly basis. She made me want to be better so I went to my first GA meeting. Going further, I channeled my inner maverick by wearing crazy socks and realized to be the best FBI agent I could I needed to expand my train of thought. I needed her. I needed Temperance Brennan in my life. She saved my life the day we met.
Brennan felt a tear fall from her eyes. Booth always told her how attracted to her he was and his feelings, but she simply nodded her head at him. People do not have 'love at first sight'. As she told him that day, it was ludicrous.
She was able to admit to herself that she felt a pull to him from that moment also, but pushed it away with logic.
Reading further, she saw items from previous cases. When she got to one passage, she froze in terror that still angered her to this day.
I refused to believe she would be dead. I couldn't believe she was dead. I just knew I had to find her. I was a shit to the lab people, especially Zach, but no one understood. I had faith and I would not stop until I found her. The Gravedigger would not win. I couldn't lose her.
I saw the puff of smoke coming out of that field in Virginia and knew my God had come through. I pulled her and Hodgins out of that hole and could only hold her and thank God for my prayers and for bringing this weird scientist lady into my life. I think that was when I knew I loved her. I was attracted sure, but it was that moment when I almost lost her, I knew I couldn't go on without her. I knew she was in pain and had walls. However, at that moment, I was determined to tear them down no matter how long it took.
With each passage she read, tears began to fall and she felt sick as she realized the depth of pain Booth must have suffered during these last several weeks. Brennan felt she was violating Booth's privacy but she couldn't tear herself away as she read further on.
We sat in the diner talking after the case. People being horses for sexual gratification was just pathetic. Bones thought I was being a prude, so I had to prove her wrong.
I told her all about lovemaking and what it meant. She didn't know it then but when I stated how two people became one, I meant it for her. I wanted to give her that. I wanted to show her how much I loved her, how before she settled for mere sex instead of making love.
I wanted to demonstrate all of my love for her through worship of her entire body with my lips, hands, tongue, and eventually my cock. She completed me, and I wanted nothing more than to tell her my feelings, but I knew she would go running for the hills. I couldn't lose her and I was willing to take what I could have, even if it was merely friendship.
Later another entry caught her eye.
The night we made love for the first time made my world complete. The fact that someone had to die to make this happened made me sad, but I believe that God had a plan. I also believed in what I told Bones earlier when she asked why God would take someone away who didn't want to die.
I was determined not to take advantage of her after losing Vincent, but when she looked into my eyes, I knew. Her imperviousness was gone and at that moment, all my anger was gone. I had my life in front of me and I need to show her how much she meant to me. I was going to war later and I wanted her to know if I didn't come back how much I loved her.
She let me remove her last barriers and I saw her naked and it just blew me away. She bared not just her body to me but also her soul and I wanted to prove to her it was not in vain. Another wall broke down when she told me I was the first to touch her without a condom. She not only loved me, but offered her trust to me and I was damned if I would violate it.
Brennan was in awe of what she was reading. She knew the depth of his feelings that night also and remembered how she felt. Giving herself to him that day was something she never regretted.
She didn't believe in fate, but remembered hearing from Booth once about how when someone dies another life begins. She blew it off as illogical, but she would wonder from time to time if a new life meant to the one with Booth at the loss of Vincent Nigel-Murray. She would never admit that to anyone.
The day she asked me to marry her was a dream come true. I told her the truth that I wanted her marriage or not. However, to be joined with her not only by law but also by God was a wish I kept tucked away. I figured that since my previous proposals went south that being her life partner and lover was what was meant to be and I was truly okay with that. She had given me her heart and a beautiful daughter who is the spitting image of her. God only knows I better keep my handguns loaded when Christine starts dating.
Brennan couldn't help but laugh at that last comment but sobered up as she continued to read.
I wanted to tell Pelant to fuck off, that I wouldn't let him run my life, and that he was a coward. Then his sentence became crystal clear. Five innocent lives. He said five innocent strangers but I knew that wasn't true.
He would take away Pops, maybe Jared, Padme, or Max, but would save the worst for last, my beautiful children and my soul mate. I need to go before her because I could never survive losing her to death. I couldn't go on without her and that son of a bitch knew it. He used a good kid's private files and works to do that. Sometimes I think Sweets looks up to Bones and me as the closest thing to surrogate parents he has since his adoptive parents died.
To tell her I didn't want to marry her killed me. The only thing that kept me going throughout was the knowledge that I would someday get Pelant. I didn't want to lose Bones, but if I lose her because she hates me at least Christine has her mother and she would be alive to live a long life. That would be worth any pain I would live with.
On paper, we are so wrong for each other. She's analytical, very blunt, and totally ignorant on pop culture. She is so much smarter than me with three doctorates and at times she makes me look like an idiot. But she can't help that she's a genius and doesn't do it intentionally. I like sports, pop culture, and only have a bachelor's degree, but it doesn't matter. I can't see myself with anyone else. She completes me and if I couldn't have her, I would rather be alone or dead.
I pray to God that someday she can forgive me for what I've done. If I lose her, I will at least have Christine and Parker and remember the two best years of my life. She will be what I will wake up to and she will be the last thought in my mind when I go to sleep to dream of her. I love Temperance Joy Brennan and I will until the day I die.
Brennan laid the journal open on the table. She stared in space for what seemed like eternity until she looked at the clock and saw it was 3:00 AM.
She wiped away her tears and got up with a new determination. Grabbing her messenger bag, she ran out of her office without turning the light off. She had to find Booth…..she needed to make things right.
She just hoped she wasn't too late.
Booth finished the last page of Bones' book with a slam. His body was drained of tears that he cried for the misery he put on the woman he loved. Suddenly, determination hit.
Grabbing the journal, he tossed it on the ground before turning off the lamp and climbing down. He ran through his back yard to the door. When he got in, all the lights were off so he used all his willpower and walked carefully to avoid waking up Max and Christine.
Silently he slipped to the man cave and moved to his new custom made Philadelphia Eagles couch. Opening it, he took the item he hid there and ensured it closed completely. Holding the box and the journal he turned around and noticed the clock.
3:02 AM.
He hurried as quietly as he could. He went for his keys, but at the last minute grabbed Max's, leaving his SUV in the garage. When he got outside, he ran to Max's Jeep and took off. He had to find Bones….he needed to make things right.
He just hoped he wasn't too late.