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A/N: Have to say this chapter was a tough to write. I kept going back and forth. Kept taking things out putting things back in. It was frustrating. But...I think this is it for this chapter. I'm posting and am crossing my fingers here. Let me know what you think.
Also, I feel obliged to warn there is some citrus here...so you guys know the drill.
Chapter: New Choices
Jake put his phone away in his pocket. He felt he had made the right call.
It hadn't been easy though. There had been many moments where he had to stop himself from jumping out of the brush to stop Bella. Especially when he heard Sarah's blood curling scream.
It had been instinct but he held back, because there was something in Bella's stare, something that he knew deep in his soul that said that she would not harm the child.
However, it wasn't enough. She needed understand that she no place in the supernatural world.
"Goodbye," he said to the Uley home before he trailed after Bella.
He trailed after Bella, his thoughts filled with possibility, anticipation, and worries.
He thought of his father's notes:
My son is a twin soul. This is the explanation as to why he never will imprint.
My son is on destiny's known path.
I couldn't understand it at first, how the descendent of chief Black had not found his imprint. So as every father that hopes to one day have grandchildren, I began to meditate to find a way to help my son. And then it came to me, the story of Alma and Toomey.
The only way my son could have lasted this long without imprinting is because he like Toomey, he was a twin soul. And my heart tells me that it is Bella who is his Alma.
I know that at this moment, he does not even want to hear her name. I was barely able to tell him the story before he stormed out of the kitchen. He desperately wants to forget her, but I know that he will not move on. He can't.
So what now? Well as I've read from the stories, Toomey finds Alma but for some reason I suspect it will be Bella who will search out my son. I just hope that I will live to see it.
I fear I will not.
I pray they find each other again. He deserves happiness. They deserve happiness. And I think when the time is right they will make new choices that will lead them to one another.
There will be new choices to make, life is full of them.
Jacob will have to willingly break his bond to our tribe and relinquish his role as protector. While Bella will have relinquish her desire of immortality and all the cold-ones. At least that is my understanding from all that I've read and seen through my meditations.
I pray they find each other again. I pray they will move on with their lives and live, really live. And have many children. My son would make a good father, I think.
Jake smiled thought tears. How he wished his father would have lived to see him.
How much life had changed in the past century. He had lost so many of those he loved. No one he knew growing up was around.
I must relinquish my role as protector, he thought. And leave the tribe.
In fact, as he thought about it, he had slowly removed himself from the tribe letting them live out their normal human lives while he sequestered himself in the mountains away from most. His fellow wolves had already passed on and their children left behind never underwent the change because no vampire dared step onto the land.
At the end of the day, he was a supernatural creature not meant to live amongst the humans he protected.
It had been quite a lonely existence but now, now he had an opportunity to share his life with the one woman he always loved. And no matter what, he would have her, human or not he would form a life with her.
0-0-0
Minutes before with Bella…
How am I going to make it up to Jake? Bella thought as she sped through the woods. Well for starters a new TV would be in order. But how will I get money?
She groaned as an immediate response formed in her mind. The Cullen's money.
She knew she could get access to money and a lot of it. After all, all she needed to do was contact the firm that had access to the old Cullen funds that had probably multiplied since no one had really used them in years. But it felt almost wrong to take that money after what she had done to them. Should I?
Or I can get a job. She snorted. What would jobs look like these days? Or Careers for that matter.
She sat by a creek and thought about what it would be like to go to school, to pick a major, study, essays and exams.
But I'm not human,she reminded herself. Not entirely. Wouldn't it be weird if I didn't age? Can I age in this hybrid like state? What am I?
And for a moment she envied Sarah and young humans. They had so many possibilities open to them, while she was stuck.
It made her think of Rosalie and their conversation on the Cullen porch, another lifetime ago. How she understood her now.
I want to live,she thought. I want to be able to go to college and have a career that I love. I want to travel and grow old with Jake and see our children play in the yard as we sit on the porch telling each other of our day. I want a wall covered in pictures of our adventures. I want to make new friends and laugh. I want to be human. I want to relinquish this frozen immortality that has stolen so much from me.
She sat on a large rock watching a nearby stream; water seemed so eternal passing through the barely changing forest.
She smiled sadly, would Jake want her even though she could never be truly human.
"Can he want me like this?" she whispered to herself.
Before she moved again, she felt a pair of strong arms wrapped around her from behind, it was a comforting feeling, like home as she felt Jake's chin rest on her shoulder.
"I do," he replied. "I'll always want you."
"I didn't hear you following me," she smiled as relief and warmth coursed through her.
"You're hearing is of an old fart," he teased.
She gasped but couldn't help but laugh.
"I followed you as soon as you went out the door," he said.
"Ah…so you were keeping an eye on me," she answered. "I'm surprised you didn't jump out to play hero."
He snorted. "I didn't think you needed me to save you," he answered.
Bella swore her heart had warmed at his words. "I almost feel bad. She looked like she was about to pass out on me. Who knew I could be so scary."
"Absolutely terrifying when you're angry," he added playfully. "Thank God, her muffins quailed the beast inside you."
She chuckled and turned to look at him, there was much more light in his eyes then the days before and to some degree he looked younger like the boy that had first greeted her when she came back to Forks.
"Even though I have to say, I was…" He didn't finish what he was saying. He wanted to tell her that he heard her love confession. And how he ached to hear for to whisper the words again, but somehow being close to her made him lose his courage, for he couldn't face the possibility of her denying it.
She felt his worry course through his skin. She brought up her hand and touched Jake's arm, just lightly caressing him as he held her. He leaned in and kissed her cheek. Bella closed her eyes taking in every part of his touch.
"I'm sorry about earlier," she apologized. It needed to be said, while it also gave her time to try to come together with a way to tell him how she felt. "I'll try to get you a new Manny."
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you the whole truth. Please believe me that I did it to protect you," he answered, before starting to pull away.
"I do, but never try to protect me again. Just be open with me, we need that," she whispered, holding his arm not letting him move away from her. Her body shook as she weighed the words she wanted to use. "Either way, I shouldn't have overreacted. I guess being cut out of the world so long made it difficult to deal with all these emotions. Everything feels so new and intense, it takes over reason every time. I feel like a stupid, jealous teenager sometimes. And worse of all, it seems my emotions control more than just my mood."
"You're not stupid," he countered, hanging onto the word Jealous as a sign that she cared. "But I do agree that it seems your mood affects your…abilities."
He thought about the story, about the words in his father's notebook. But he was caught off guard by Bella's heated glare that watched him through her dark eyelashes.
"Jake," his name lingered on her lips as she pressed her cheek to his and whispered into his ear. "I need to tell you something important."
"I need to tell you something, too," he said in a strained voice.
"Just let me say this," she pleaded.
He swallowed and nodded preparing himself for the worst and praying to God on his knees that it wasn't.
Bella took a deep breath and caressed his cheek with her fingertips. She wanted to speak but more than that she wanted him to feel. She kissed his forehead, then his cheeks and as she pressed her lips to his skin she felt a surge of emotion rise up into her eyes in the form of tears. The feeling was so powerful it hurt.
She felt desperation and wanted to show him what he meant to her. How could she have been so blind to such a good man, she told herself. So many years they had been alone and here he was letting her kiss his cheeks, letting her love him.
Her heart swelled.
Tears flowed freely down her cheeks but she didn't care.
"You deserve more than I can give you," she whimpered lovingly. And before he could protest, she touched his lips with her fingertips and wiggled herself closer for her lips to be inches away from his mouth, "Even if I don't deserve you, I need you to know that I love you…so so much."
Jake sighed, and his body trembled at the words.
He swallowed as the words sank in and his eyes grew wet.
"Say it again," he begged. It was so long since he wanted to hear her say those words.
"I love you," she said again as she pressed her forehead to his, her lips inching closer to his. "I love you."
She pressed her lips to his and it caused a murmur to grow under their skin.
It was soft, salty wetness that they tasted as they gave themselves to the moment, to each other. Their kisses were soft and careful.
"Just once more," he whispered.
"I love you," she smiled. "I'm in love with you."
Their lips continued to move and soon their kiss turned heated.
Her hands grasped his hair and tugged roughly causing him to growl. Her mouth gasped opened feeling a deep murmur of arousal in between her thighs.
The murmur turned into heat causing Bella to dip back giving Jake a chance to attack her neck.
The sensation of his soft hungry lips on her neck caused her body to arch. She latched onto him with her nails and it drove him crazy to think that whatever he threw at her she would be able to handle it.
"Please tell me you love me, too," she whispered.
"I never stopped," he confessed before he kissed her. "I never stopped. I love you. I love you so damn much that it hurts my soul."
"Then love me," she whimpered. "Show me."
"I will," he promised before placing soft kisses on her cheeks and slowly making a trail over her neck until he found her dead pulse point and covered it with his mouth.
His hands slipped under her shirt and pulled it over her head, leaving her bare.
"Beautiful," he mouthed before Bella removed his shirt.
Their naked torsos were flushed with heat and sweat as their excitement grew in their lower abdomens.
His hands and lips traveled onto her dips and swells. It was like a dream, a dream that he had imagined so many times over the century but never got to truly enjoy.
Bella grasped onto his dark raven hair in his hands, taking in every slip and motion of his tongue. She felt almost out of breath, as though she could pass out. But she refused to do it. She wouldn't black out, she told herself, as her body seemed to vibrate and sing.
Her fingers trailed down his bare chest, enjoying every canyon and curve of his ripped stomach.
"So beautiful," she said aloud.
Jake swallowed, the feeling was erotic and yet he never felt so worshiped.
He could feel Bella unbuckle his shorts and caress him. He trembled and he loved it.
Soon her pants and his boxers followed and all that was left was two naked bodies on top of smooth rock that was as hot as it's occupants.
Their hands and lips were hungry, wanting to feel, wanting to touch.
"So soft," he murmured before he kissed her apex. "So sweet."
Bella's body felt like it was buzzing, she could barely hear the words. She could feel the energy inside her grow and expand.
She feared she would black-out from the over heightened feelings, her toes were already curling and almost cramping as she felt Jake's hands stroke her.
She pressed her hand to her chest, feeling as though she felt a stirring inside her.
I need to hold on, she told herself before her mind screamed as Jake worshiped her.
Her body felt on fire, but it was a delicious pain she would welcome any day.
"Oh God, Jake," she moaned pulling him up to her face and with deep want in her eyes she spoke again: "I need you."
Jake's eyes were dark and hooded.
She bit her lip as she continued to tease and it was driving Jake crazy.
His hands grabbed her hips tightly lining her up to him. They both stopped, their breathing was deep. She could feel his blood pumping through him, through her. His sex pulsated violently against her demanding it to make the final connection.
"I want only you," he said. "You are mine and I am yours."
Bella nodded. "You are mine and I am yours."
The whole forest vibrated around them.
She pressed her forehead to his, their bodies connected in flesh and more.
"Your heartbeat is so strong," she murmured as they moved together. "I can almost believe that it's mine."
"It is yours," he answered. "All yours."
Their lips met again as their bodies continued move against one another. It was love but it was also primal and everything else in the world disappeared and nothing was left but them.
"Oh Jake," Bella moaned. "Jake…Jake…Jake."
It was a mantra that filled the empty space.
The heat grew. The floor shook. Their bodies rubbed and pressed against one another slowly reaching something more than themselves.
Bella's breathing was deep and fast as she approached something almost like death. She held on still loving him and thanking God or whatever force out there for the happiness she felt that was burning her insides with sweet delicious pleasure.
"Tell me you love me," she begged him as they moved together.
"I love you," he answered. "Tell me you love me too."
"Always! I love you."
And with that everything exploded into sweet sensory overload.
White shocking pleasure and pain pulsed through with such rapidness that they blacked out.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0
When they finally regained consciousness hours later, Bella knew everything was different.
"Jake?" she whispered in the late afternoon.
Jake was stirred, and when he stared at her, his eyes grew wide as a pair of dark brown eyes look back at him. And as he held her he felt a thumping sensation under her skin.
"You're heart…" he began.
"It's beating," she finished.
A/N: Okay, I'm going to go pass out somewhere. Please let me know what you guys think. Was this what you were expecting?
What do you guys think is ahead?
Thank you all for your comments. Special thanks to sarahmicaela88 for all the wonderful PMs. And thank you all for all your reviews. I am blown away by how detailed your reviews can be and how passionate you guys have been about this story.
Much LOVE!
M.