It really shouldn't have came as a surprise when Angie Genovese announced that she was taking Chris, and that they were moving to Long Island, nor should it have come as a shock that she would take her security guard and staff, completely abandoning the New York apartment. It certainly wasn't very astonishing to hear that Angie had only one condition: Emily was not allowed to tag along and live with them. They both expected as much out of his mother - considering that she simply loathed her son's girlfriend - but that didn't change the fact that it sucked. Not entirely fond of the relationship himself, Javier did still support them and fought for her, but to seriously go against Angie would be to lose his job, so his hands were tied. But it was better this way, because with Javier they had someone on the inside who could help them if Chris' mom were to turn into a tyrant about the long-distance. He was also good for keeping tabs on Chris, to make sure that he wouldn't develop a wondering eye.

Of course Emily trusted Chris completely, but she wasn't quite as sure about a boy being sequestered to the confines of a house, not even allowed to go outside for some fresh air when he was pissed off; with Chris, that was a lot of the time. But the good news was that that was only to last until he was eighteen - so a handful of months - at which time he was going to train across the world, learning all the skills needed to kill Kick-Ass and that little purple eyesore with his own two hands. Emily was going to be stuck just a little while longer, until she was also an adult and free to do as she pleased, but the plan was that the night of her birthday, he was going to come back for her, and together they would seek vengeance!

At least, that had been the plan...

Sure, it was hard to have to limit themselves to the confines of video-chat, but at least they were still able to keep in contact that way. When Chris left the country to begin his own journey, Emily didn't realize that it would be with unbearably minimal ability for communication. She also failed to account for the death of her mother, which left her free to wander as a ghost, mourning the loss of both of her parents (although her mother had only died from an pneumonia and was not murdered by a so-called hero), haunting the streets of New York as she returned to live out the remainder of her sentence with her latest step-mother (that woman was completely unbearable, hence Emily's decision to return to Vermont after the death of her father). Javier wanted to take her in himself, but even without Chris, Angie still hated the girl, so it was impossible...

Realizing that he could just hire people to take his pain for him, and dish it out far better than he ever could, Chris returned to New York early, planning on visiting his father's grave before heading back for Emily. Missing the last several of her messages and ignoring the ones from home (feeling betrayed by the people that dared to call themselves his family), he had no idea that he was going to run into her at the graveyard of all places.

Wrapped up in so many different layers of black - her lower back exposed because of the cut of her shirt - he almost didn't recognize his girlfriend, since more often than not there was some kind of pop of color to her wardrobe, but she was unmistakable from behind, thanks to what he referred to as her "Emily stamp". Most would have called it a tramp stamp, but he was more spiteful than most, and she had just gone out and gotten the ink done without his input. Yeah, it was her body, but he was the one that had to look at her on a regular basis. She was just lucky that he actually liked it.

"Hey slut. How much do you charge for a handjob in a public area?" Yep, after so many months apart, that was how he greeted her.

Hearing his voice once more, everything else just kind of melted away, or at the very least was put on ice. Beaming at him as she turned around, Emily threw her arms around his neck, "Normally quite a lot stranger, but since you're so cute, I'll waive my usual fee and upgrade the package... So long as you don't tell my boyfriend. He's more dangerous than he is hot. That's saying something."

Pulling her close, he realized then just how long it had been since he had held a woman this close. "Hmm, I've missed this." Kissing her deeply, he felt around for the button on her sable skinnies, wrenching it open. "Now let me hear that sexy voice...' Slipping his hand down her pants, Chris ran his fingers over a clit a couple of times before plunging his ring finger inside of her.

She let out a rather loud moan, "Nothing can ever match up to how you make me feel..."

Grinning, he inserted his middle finger without warning, "I bet you tried."

Unable to contain herself, Emily nodded meekly, hand fighting to help him with his zipper. "Can you blame me? Knowing the touch of the almighty, could you really go on living after his departure?" She got it down, which allowed her to help him up. "I couldn't get off once without you."

Biting her lip to the point that blood was drawn, Chris smirked as he licked the scarlet dribble from her chin. "I bet that drove you insane." It would certainly explain her eagerness at fucking him in a place that was not only public but holy, or some shit like that. "Beg for it. Beg for my cock, just like the whore you are."

He didn't need to tell her twice. "I need it! I need you, I want you inside me... Chris, give me your cock - put it in my pussy! Don't make me wait anymore..."

Whimpering for him, looking like she was on the verge of a meltdown, he obliged her wish. Poking through his zipper and around his boxers, he pulled her pants down just enough, and he gave her exactly what she wanted, penetrating her on the spot. He still didn't know that she had lost her mother, that as arranged some twenty-odd years ago, she was buried right next to her ex-husband, but Chris did know that they were standing at her father's grave marker. As much as she might have hidden it by the modest, somewhat grungy way she dressed, Emily really was a nymphomaniac.

"...Mom?" Someone was coming, and from the sounds of it, they weren't alone.

Glancing over his shoulder, peeking over at the world around them for the first time, Emily saw two people coming up the path. One was a girl in light grey jeans and an olive-colored jacket, her blonde hair tied back in a high ponytail, and the other was a guy in glasses with a stripped beanie on, his hands in the outermost coat of the multiple layers he wore. They looked really close just by the way that they were acting, but there was a considerable age gap between them, so there was the chance that they were siblings. It didn't look like it to Emily, since they kept shooting each other glances that the other just barely missed, but who knows, blood wasn't enough to blind the heart, not always. Fuck, were Chris her brother, she would still be fucking him in this cemetery...

Wiggling her hips as she pulled her pants even lower, Emily quickly turned around so that it wasn't so obvious what they were doing. "We're not alone."

As if he could care right about now? Balls-deep and finding a center he hadn't felt since leaving for Asia, his mother could have been watching them for all he cared...

Walking passed the intimate couple, Dave and Mindy spared them only half a glance, hurrying by in a rushed silence. That was not only rude and disrespectful (to both the general population and the dead), it was highly inappropriate! Seriously, who the fuck fucks in a cemetery?! And in broad daylight no less! Fucking deviant perverts! Mindy had half a mind to teach them better, but she reminded herself that she was no longer Hit Girl, that she had no right to put a stop to it. There was also the fact that she was there with Dave, visiting his mother's grave on the exact half-way mark of the anniversary of his Alice Lizewki's death.

Once they were in the clear and the other duo was gone (irony running high on this day), Chris took advantage of Emily's new position and shoved her into the tombstone, taking this chance to really look at her back tattoo. It was a design of her own making; two crossing AK-47's, there was a fanged skull with horns over both guns. It would make a bad-ass logo for their team...

Is it sad that 17 chapters in, I realize that there is a pattern to the name scheme of the arcs? In my defense, patterns never were my best area in math... Ok, math was never my best area of math... Anyways, since the timeline is so screwy and I like both versions of Chris' training (although I prefer the comic), I'm tweaking it to fit in the blended world I've created. As for her tattoo, it was just something that came to me, since I was wondering where Chris had gotten the idea of the logo from. Aww, Dave took Mindy with him while visiting his mother! And in an even sweeter gesture, it wasn't even the anniversary of her death... Dammit, after making Dave into Tampon-Man in the second movie, I feel like he needs this fleeting moment of pure goodness! Yeah, I sometimes refer to Kick-Ass 2 as "Kick-Ass 2: Tampons Needed".

So review, and tell me what you think of those apples!

Kick-Ass is the property of Mark Millar and John Romita Jr. Emily Vela is mine. Knight and Charlotte too.