As if happening in slow motion, Dave could only watch as her mouth formed the words, his brain both behind and ahead of what was happening. The personal attacks - as well as the frying of his balls - only screamed that The Mother Fucker knew his secret identity, so it only made sense that she would too, but from the candid way that they wold interact, he assumed that she did not, and now, listening to the shock in her voice, he gathered that she really did have no idea. But how could she not, when it seemed as if they had been a couple from the very beginning? The very beginning...

For the first time since he couldn't remember when, Dave thought back to that one night in the Mist Mobile. He thought of Chris, of... No, he couldn't think about that. Not if he wanted to keep it together...

"You were the girl I spoke to on the phone..." Numbly, he put it together that Emily was the same girl that had helped to drive such a dark stake into his chest. A stake that not even Mindy knew existed. "Weren't you?"

She didn't think about that. She imagined that that night had affected Dave so much more than it had her, but she hated to go back there, to having to listen to the love of her life cheating. "...Let's just do ourselves a favor and not talk about that night. I'm sure you want to forget it more than I do."

While Dave was lost in his memories, Emily was thinking into the future, of what this meant. Not only was she still hiding the fact that she was pregnant from Chris, but now his nemesis knew about it before he did! What the fuck kind of mental alternate universe did they enter when things were this crossed?! Jesus!

Tossing a rather uncomfortable look her way, Dave tried his damnedest to get the night back on track. "We could help you. I'm sure that there's someone on the team more experienced with..." He looked down at her stomach, "this kind of thing. They could help you make a better decision."

Probably, but she wasn't quite desperate enough to turn to the other heroes. "Than you? Most likely. But I didn't call them - I called you. Forgetting for one moment that we're on opposite teams and that we killed each other's fathers, you're still the only person I know well enough to trust with this. I know that we've wronged you, and that I have no right to ask anything of you, but please, I need to know what I can do about this."

Sighing, Dave just couldn't find it in himself to walk away from her. He wanted to, to be spiteful, to make her hurt for all the hurt she had helped to inflict on him, but he just couldn't. Part of it he knew came from Mindy, that she would always help the innocent - and you didn't get much more innocent that a baby. But there was another part to it too, and he didn't completely understand it, or even where it was coming from. All he knew was that he couldn't turn his back on Emily.

"Emily, I'm not going to turn my back on you." It seemed as if Chris had done more than enough of that himself. "I promise," Covering the distance between them, Dave had his hands cupped around hers. "I won't leave you until you have everything figured out."

That was the most earnest thing she had ever heard in her entire life! But even still, she couldn't completely find it in herself to trust him blindly. "We shall see." But even with her suspicion, her gratitude was limitless. "Thank you, Dave. I really do appreciate it."

[Some Time Later...]

Promising to help Emily was something that Dave had not taken lightly, often bringing her with him when he wasn't on patrol with Justice Forever. She refused to turn to the team, but he knew deep down that she wasn't wrong for that, because it was statistically impossible that they would all accept helping her. So, not telling a soul of what he was doing in his free time, Dave would take her with him (blindfolded, so she wouldn't know where to find him later, which she quickly agreed to) while training himself, or going over to her place. It was always so late at night, and to the common observer, it would appear as if they were having some kind of an affair due to all the secrecy. And maybe in some way, they were...

After all, they both knew things about the other that not even Mindy and Chris knew - large and important things that really shouldn't have been kept to themselves - and because of that, there were absolutely no secrets between them, which a bullshit-free environment was exactly what Emily needed. Suffice it to say, they had became rather close while charting out every last possible scenario. Could the time it was taking to make a decision have been cut down? Perhaps. But she wasn't leaving anything to chance.

Seated in the living room of her apartment, sticky notes and pie charts galore spread across the floor in the same way that butter spreads across toast, Dave and Emily were taking a break from the sea of inevitable paper cuts, leaning against the back of the couch. There was really loud music playing in the background.

Should I let you fall, lose it all
So maybe you can remember yourself?
Can't keep believing
We're only deceiving ourselves
And I'm sick of the lie
And you're too late

Bobbing her head along to the music, Emily commented off-handedly, "Chris hates this song. He hates most of the music I like." Well, what they didn't have in common musically, which actually wasn't as much as she made it sound like. "I once told him that not everything he likes is so great, and he almost strangled me with the headphones."

Try as he might, Dave still couldn't understand how she could put up with her boyfriend. And the way that she spoke so casually of his cruelty was alarming. "Why do put up with his shit? Emily, he almost killed you!"

Of course Dave wouldn't understand. "I can't explain it... I know that it's sick to tolerate the shit he puts me through, I know it is, but he's my soul mate. When I'm with him, I just feel less broken."

Reasoning with her was like trying to make Mindy see that her father really wasn't right in the head. "You keep saying he's your soul mate, but how do you know? You told me that he was the only guy you've ever been with, so how do you know?"

"I just do! I could even kiss you-"

Cutting her off, Dave had no idea what had come over him. Maybe it was the subtle change in her tone, or maybe it was just the loneliness of having Mindy locked away in prison finally wearing him down. Or maybe it was just two moments of insanity brought on from being in Chris Genovese's home. Whatever it was, all either of them could do was go with the moment...

A bit awkwardly at first, Dave kissed Emily, but instead of shoving him away with her fist, she readjusted herself so that she could kiss him back. Sweet like sugar, their lips melded at the seams, cracking inwards so slowly for the probing snake. Eyes flying open, they sprung apart even more quickly than they had come together. Turing away, Emily blushed, "...We should probably not do that again."

"Yeah, no." He shook his head in agreement.

The back of their minds were screaming at them, but both were very sexual beings at their cores, and neither had had much fulfillment since before the climax of the Times Square ordeal. Sure, masturbation was good, but after being in serious relationships, it just wasn't good enough for any span of time longer than a weekend. It didn't help that they were spending so much time alone in close proximity, her hormones amped 25/8 from the baby. Leave it to Chris to screw her into a corner and wonder off before she could get off too...

Looking over her shoulder at him, Emily was making quite the show of biting her lips. He knew that he should stop this from going any farther, that if he went any further Mindy would literally cut his dick off, that out of every woman he could be doing this with, this was the very last one he should touch, Dave couldn't stop himself from pulling her lips back into his. From the very beginning, Chris had only made it too clear what would have to her if she were to ever stray, so she could only imagine how much worse it would be with Kick-Ass being the person she cheated with, but she was powerless to her body as her arms slithered around his neck, bringing them even closer together.

And now everyone really does love every one! Ok, that was bad, I admit. And thank you, Amelia! It's alway great to hear that kind of thing, and as far as fast updates go, I try.

Kick-Ass is the property of Mark Millar and John Romita Jr. Emily Vela is mine. Knight, and all minors too. Evanescence owns "Call Me When You're Sober".