Lukas propped himself up on pillows as Roderich and Elizaveta sat on either side of the end of his bed. "So there's a huge war going on, and I was a fighter pilot?" he asked. He blinked in shock. "I don't know anything about flying planes." He sighed. "This is all so crazy…"

Elizaveta frowned. "Yes, there is a lot to take in, Lukas," she softly said. "I know that it may be hard, but I hope that your memories will come back to you with time."

"You're not the only one," Lukas groaned. "I don't even know how I'm speaking English. I've only spoken Norwegian and Swedish my whole life. That's all I ever cared enough to learn. And now suddenly I'm fluent in English as well? What the hell is going on with me?" He held his head in his hands in agony for a moment before looking up at the married couple. "I'm sorry, I'm still just in shock that this actually happened to me."

Roderich shrugged. "It's very understandable. You need time to process things, Lukas. Take all the time that you need."

Lukas smiled with gratitude. "Thank you very much. I appreciate your kindness and understanding." He sighed and leaned toward them. "You know, as I look at you two, I begin to feel and realize something."

"What is that, dear?" Elizaveta asked. She smiled at him.

"I think I'm in love with someone," Lukas said, trying to recall everything. His mind just wouldn't focus enough. "I just don't know what to do. I can't remember who it is. But I know how in love I am. And it makes my heart beat faster than it normally would."

Elizaveta giggled. "Isn't love a wonderful thing? Do you remember what she looks like?" She laughed a little harder when Lukas turned a deep shade of red and remained silent. "What is it, Lukas?"

He shooked his head. "I, uh, don't remember, uh…" Lukas shifted uncomfortably. "But I know one thing…"

"What's that?" she asked with interest.

"We're in confidence, correct?" Lukas asked.

"Well, I mean, we did rescue from the Nazis already," Roderich reminded. "You can trust us, Lukas. Although I've already picked up on what you're about to say."

"You have?" Lukas asked, blinking.

"What is it?" Elizveta looked surprised. "Roderich, you know what he's going to say?"

"Would you like me to say it?" Roderich asked. "You look quite flustered." He smiled knowingly when Lukas nodded. "The person he is in love with is not a woman, Elizaveta. The person is a man. Lukas is interested in men."

Elizaveta's olive green eyes widened. "Oh!" she gasped. "Lukas, that is a beautiful thing! Men are wonderful, aren't they!"

Lukas had expected judgement, but was pleasantly surprised when Elizaveta responded. He smiled a little, feeling happy for the first time since he woke up. "The only thing I'm sad about is that I wish I knew what was going on in my life right now. I wish I knew where my mother was, or where my love was, so I could tell them that I'm okay." He sighed and lay heavily against the pillows. "I feel as if I'm forgetting another person, but I just can't remember who."

Roderich frowned. "Did you have any brothers or sisters?"

"No, I'm an only child," Lukas said. "My mother is a very sickly woman. She always has been. Honestly, she wasn't even supposed to have me, so she could never have another child due to her health. But she just got married a couple months ago from what I remember, but that was six years ago, I guess." He frowned. "But no, there is no way I could ever have a little brother or sister. That would have killed my mother. And then I would have been left to raise the child." His eyes widened. "What if that did happen?" He held his head in his hands. "What am I going to do? What if I have a little brother or sister that I'm raising? How can I find out what's going on in my life? Fuck!"

Roderich frowned. "Calm down, Lukas," he softly said. "First we need to focus on getting your health back to normal. That is our main goal at the moment. Once you're healthy, we can get you back to England. When you're back in England, you should be able to access your records through the military."

Lukas thought about it for a moment. "That's a great idea, Roderich," he said after a few moments. "I'm glad you can think clearly, because I know I can't right now. But where do I start getting better."

"Sleep always helps," Elizaveta told him. "Rest, Lukas. There will be plenty of time to worry later. Just lay back and sleep a little." She reached forward and brushed his hair back from his forehead and smiled. "We'll leave for now. We just want you to rest a little more. There is a bed on the table next to you. Ring it if you need us, okay?"

Lukas nodded and rested his head on the pillow. He felt his eyelids becoming heavy. "Okay," he said, yawning. "I'll be fine." He yawned once more and then fell asleep immediately.

.

Two Days Previous, London, England

Mathias was waiting for the flights to come back, his usual thing, but he felt something odd that day. It felt as if his nerves were crawling around inside of his body. Maybe just by seeing Lukas, his nerves would settle and everything would feel better. All he had to do was see Lukas. That was all he wanted.

The pilots began to file past him, but Lukas was not among them. That sent Mathias's nerves racing faster. He noticed that they were all dead silent, whereas they were usually at least a little more talkative. Something was wrong, and Mathias was almost sure that it had to do with Lukas. It was making his blood turn cold.

He ran over to a pilot. "Where's Lieutenant Bondevik?" he asked, panicked. "I didn't see him come in!" His heart raced. He needed to know that Lukas was okay. That was all he cared about at that moment. All he wanted to know was that Lukas was safe.

The pilot looked over at him. "You're the bloke he came to England with, aren't you?" he asked. He frowned when Mathias nodded. "Well, he was shot down today. We were unable to recover a body…"

Mathias felt his head begin to spin. "No," he softly said. "No, that's a lie. You must be lying. He's not dead. Lukas can't be dead…" Of all people, Lukas was the last person he expected to die. Lukas couldn't be dead! He couldn't be! He couldn't just leave him, Elsa, and Emil like that! It wasn't fair! That was the last thing that needed to happen!

"Maybe you should go talk to someone," the man suggested. "Do you know anyone?"

Mathias felt numb. "Yeah," he said. "He won't get back until later, but I'm going to ask Private Jones to go out for a drink with me." All Mathias really wanted to do was go and hide under a blanket, or maybe even die so he could be with Lukas.

"You're not looking too great, Private Køhler," the man said. "Would you like me to walk you to your bunk? You should probably lie down." He sighed. "In war, death is a common thing. You'll get used to it one day."

Mathias felt like he could hear his heart physically break in his chest. It was the most painful feeling he had ever felt in his entire life. His chest was aching, but his heart was refusing to stop beating. He wanted to die, but he just couldn't. He still had people back home that were counting on him. Then again, Lukas did, too.

.

A Few Hours Later, London, England

Mathias slept fitfully in his bunk and was gently shaken awake by someone. He opened his eyes and saw his friend, Private Alfred F. Jones, standing over him. He rubbed at his eyes. "Hey, can we go and get some drinks?" he asked.

"Are you feeling okay?" Alfred asked, glasses slipping to the end of his nose. He quickly pushed them back up. "I mean, yeah, we can go get some drinks if you'd like. It's not like we're too busy tomorrow morning."

"Yeah," Mathias said, sitting up carefully. His chest still felt tight. He didn't know what to do. He wanted to tell Alfred about Lukas, but he didn't know if he knew already, and he didn't want to do it here. "Let's just go." He stood and found his shoes before slipping them on. He stood and wobbled a little.

"Are you sure you should be drinking?" Alfred asked, steadying him. "You really don't look too great." He frowned. "What's going on?"

"I'll tell you when we get there, okay?" Mathias asked. "I don't want to tell you here."

"Okay?" the American soldier asked, confused. He walked to the door with Mathias. "You're sure you're okay to go?"

"Yeah," Mathias assured. Yet he didn't say a word all the way to the pub.

"Oh, I forgot to ask something," Alfred asked after they had been served their drinks. "Where's Lukas tonight? Usually you two are always together. It's weird seeing you without him."

"Yeah," Mathias said, voice a bit clipped. "It is, isn't it?"

"Are you two fighting?" Alfred asked.

Mathias shook his head. "No, we're not." He took a long drink of vodka. "He's, uh…" He took a gulp as tears filled his eyes. "He's dead, Alfred."

Alfred's eyes widened. "Wait, what?"

"Yeah," Mathias said, trying to swallow the lump in his throat and blink back the tears. "Lukas died during the mission today. It wasn't supposed to happen, but it did…" His voice choked as he said, "They couldn't even find his body…"

"If they couldn't find his body, maybe there's a way that he lived," Alfred tried to say.

"No," Mathias said, shaking his head. "The plane he was in exploded. There was no way he could've lived." By now, tears began to flow down his cheeks as he sniffled. "Why? Why did it have to be Lukas, of all people? Why did he have to die?"

"Why does anyone die?" a man with white hair asked, sitting at their table. He kept his head lowered, looking at the table. "People die, man. It's a fact of life."

"Excuse me, but we're having a serious conversation," Alfred said, glaring at the white-haired man. "Who the fuck are you, and why are you sitting with us?"

"I'm glad you asked," the man said. He looked up and Mathias and Alfred gasped, seeing that the man's pupils in his eyes were red. The man had albinism! "My name is Gilbert Beilschmidt!"

"Beilsch...Wait a minute!" Alfred gasped. "That's a German name!" He glared harder, clenching his fists. "What the hell makes you think you can come into this pub so easily?"

"Uh, the fact that I come here so often?" Gilbert suggested snarkily. "They know me here. Besides, I don't get involved in all of that militaristic bulshit. It's not worth it at all. My brother may be one of them, but I would rather die than be a Nazi. Besides, they would never accept someone like me. I don't look like my brother or anyone else in my family. No one wants an albino, right?"

Alfred looked confused, but Mathias was furious. "Why would you say something like that?" he demanded. "No one would ever want to die! Especially at the hands of the fucking Germans!"

"Calm down there, buddy," Alfred said, patting Mathias on the back. His efforts calmed Mathias down and got him to quiet down once more. "Look, Gilbert, I don't want to piss you off, but let's not talk about death around him. His friend was killed by the German air force today."

Gilbert looked across the table at the sniffling Mathias. A look of genuine sadness crossed his face. "I truly am sorry," he said. "I apologize for that. The people of my brother's country are terrible. I do not claim to be German. I claim the country of Prussia." He sighed. "That is just awful, and I hope that you're going to be okay one day. I do not expect you to heal right away. Those things take time."

Alfred blinked in surprise. He didn't expect a complete stranger to be so sympathetic. Especially one who was so loud and open about his own feelings on things.

"Thank you," Mathias softly muttered, taking another large gulp of vodka. He sighed and rested his head on his hand. "He's the most important person in my life, and now he's gone. I don't know what to do."

Alfred frowned. "Sounds like how I would be if something happened to Arthur."

"Arthur?" Gilbert asked.

"He's my friend here that I visit every day," Alfred explained. "He has a little boy that I help with his homework and all that jazz." He felt confused as Mathias and Gilbert stared at him. "What? You've never heard the phrase before?"

"Never," they both said in unison.

"Right," Alfred said, blushing in embarrassment.

Gilbert sighed and looked across the table at Mathias. "Would you mind telling me what your friend was like? You know, things like name, age, rank, random trivia?"

"I don't think he wants to talk about-"

"Lieutenant Lukas Bondevik," Mathias slowly said, staring into the small glass of vodka. "He was from Oslo, Norway, but I met him in Stockholm, Sweden, which is where I was raised. We were trained in the military together. His mother's name is Elsa Steilsson, and she's very sick, always sick. He also has a little brother named Emil, who is five. He's twenty-three." Mathias sighed. "And I miss him more than words can say…"

"I'll find out what I can when I go back home," Gilbert said. "And lucky for you, I'll be going back within the next couple weeks. Just come back here for drinks with me for a couple nights, and we can call ourselves friends."

Mathias looked up at him. "Yeah, sounds good."

"I better be included in this if Arthur will allow it," Alfred said.

"What, it's not like you're married to the guy," Gilbert snorted.

"Well he's a recovering alcoholic," Alfred explained. "Actually, he lives right next door to this pub, so I want to lay low a bit, you know?" He laughed. "He would hate to hear that I came here."

Mathias laughed. "I think Arthur would understand if you told him that I dragged you here," he said. "You can even explain the reason why if need be. I remember hearing stories from you about him. He seems a bit strict with you on occasion."

Alfred chuckled to himself. "He can be on occasion," he said. "But he really does mean well. He's usually very kind and caring toward people he cares about, and I would happen to be one of them."

Gilbert laughed. "Sounds almost suspicious to me."

"That's fine," Alfred cheerfully said. "I don't remember asking your opinion, Gilbert." He laughed. "But that's fine."

Mathias snorted. "Damn, Alfred, calm down. He didn't say in what way it was suspicious." He took another large gulp of his vodka, emptying the small glass. As he looked into it, he wanted another, or perhaps twenty more. "I need more of these."

"How many more?" Alfred asked, eyeing Mathias carefully. "You shouldn't have too many more. They'll go straight to your head, and that's not good for you at all."

"I know it's not good for me," Mathias grumbled. "Why else would I want it so badly?"

Alfred sighed. "I'm only letting you have two more. That's it." He frowned and looked over at Gilbert. "So do you come here every night?"

"Just about," Gilbert said. He sat back in his chair and threw his head back, looking up at the ceiling. "It's not like I have anything better to do in this city."

"Sure you do," Alfred said. "There are plenty of things to do in London."

"Not when you've been here so many times in your life," Gilbert said. He rolled his eyes. "There is too much stuff to see, and then once you see all of it you just become used to it, you know?"

Mathias sighed. "That's how I always felt about Stockholm," he remembered. "I showed Lukas around there, though. We had a lot of fun."

Alfred nodded. "I saw the sights of London by myself before I met Arthur, but I wish I had known him so I could've seen them with him and Leon."

Gilbert smiled. "The way you talk about Arthur is interesting," he said. "It's almost as if you were in love with him."

"W-Why would you say that?" Alfred asked. "It's not like I would be in love with a man. That's just silly to think about…"

"Is it, though?" Gilbert asked. "Have you ever thought that a lot more men than you think are homosexuals? I know plenty of homosexual men," he said, lowering his voice so it could only be heard by the men at the table. "It's nothing to be ashamed of. You think men don't experiment every now and then?"

"Experiment?" Alfred asked, confused.

"He means sexually," Mathias said. "You know, to see if they would rather do it with men or women." He looked up at Gilbert. "Let me guess, you've experimented." He laughed when Gilbert nodded. "And which do you prefer."

"I like both of them," Gilbert said with an indifferent shrug. "Especially this one married couple that I screw with." He winked. "The husband and the wife have no idea that I'm sleeping with both of them."

Alfred's eyes widened. "That's a terrible thing to do, Gilbert. You could ruin their marriage. Don't you care about that."

"Not with the secrets I know," Gilbert stated. "Their marriage was ruined from the start."

Mathias was confused, but he didn't press the matter. "Well, if we're being honest, Lukas is my lover," he admitted. "That's why it hurts so bad for me. It's because I love him so much."

Alfred gulped. "Then you guys are right. I shouldn't be ashamed. I should be honest. Arthur is my lover. We've been together for almost two years," he admitted quietly.

"Two years?" Mathias asked. "I didn't know that much. Damn."

Alfred blushed. "Yeah, but it's a long story about all of that."

Mathias stayed quiet as Alfred and Gilbert sat there, drinking and talking about their loves and past loves and "experimentations". He didn't want to talk about love anymore. He didn't want to think about Lukas and where he was. All he could hope was that Gilbert was right about Lukas still possibly being alive. There was a very, very slight chance of it, and he hoped that chance was correct.

"Mathias, could you do me one last favor?" Gilbert asked.

"Yeah?" Mathias asked in a daze. He had drank three vodkas and was still feeling terrible from all of the news he had gotten that day. He truly wanted nothing more than for that day to be over.

"Tell me, what does your Lukas look like?" Gilbert asked.

"His hair is a very light blond," Mathias began, closing his eyes. He had only seen Lukas the day before, but why was it so hard to imagine him? It's about chin length and a little wavy. His eyes are a deep sapphire color. Also, he never smiles or shows much expression."

"He sounds like a bit of a killjoy," Gilbert sighed. "To each his own."

Mathias smiled. "He doesn't sound like much to most people, but he is everything to me."

And that was the damn truth for him. Lukas was everything. He hated that Lukas was now dead. He hated it! And as he drained the final glass of vodka, he wanted nothing more than to be dead with him. He just wanted to die with Lukas. Nothing more than to be dead with the one he loved.