AN: Thank you for the feedback. Enjoy and let me know what you think.
UPDATE: Are love triangles still a thing? Asking for a friend, obviously.
"You're up early," Jesse said as he walked out of Beca's bedroom and to the kitchenette where she was sitting on a stool.
"Haven't gone to bed yet," she rotated her neck. "I spent the night working on a track," she rubbed her eyes, nodding at her laptop.
"You shouldn't have pulled an all nighter," he breathed heavily through his nose. "So, this is a mix of our work?" he asked, resting both his arms on the counter from behind her while he eyed the screen. "I do not understand one thing from all these windows," he told her when she nodded.
"This is a virtual studio," she chuckled, gesturing at the screen. "I rarely use it because I work with actual instruments and record them in the studio but I had an idea last night and I couldn't wait until Monday. I guess I got carried away."
"So, this like a draft?" he asked.
"Yeah, if you will," she shrugged and removed the headphones from around her neck. "Here," she said as she handed them to him. "Check it out," she rubbed her sore neck.
She waited until he wore the headphones before she hit play.
"Wow, Bec," he rested his hand on her shoulder. "This is really really good," he exclaimed.
"Thanks." She found herself smiling at honest reaction and didn't miss the shakiness of his hand that was trying to hide by squeezing her shoulder.
"Which one did you use—which score?" he asked once he finished listening.
"Um, you give amazing titles to you work," she said as she looked through music sheets. "This one," she paused to read the title, "B0402."
"I cannot wait to hear the full song, vocals and all," he squeezed her shoulder again then put the headphones on the counter. "I can't believe you could do that with a laptop," he watched her close the lid of her laptop.
"There are other things than looking up porn you could use a computer for, Jesse," she got up. "What are you doing up this early?" she asked, looking at the time on his watch to find it 6:07 am.
"I sorta had this bad dream," he scratched the back of his head, feeling a little embarrassed. "It woke me up and I didn't find you in bed so I thought you left," he told her.
"We're at my place," she cupped his cheek and scratched his beard. "I won't run away from my own apartment," she leaned up and pecked his lips.
"How long has it been raining?" Jesse asked hearing a very close thunder.
"Since yesterday," she looked out of the window. "And, it's gonna keep raining," she yawned so hard her eyes watered. "I saw it in the weather forecast," she sniffed.
"I hate rain," Jesse grimaced, wrapping Beca in his arms.
"You grew up in L.A.. Of course, you don't like cold weather," she rested her head against his bare chest.
"You like it?" he asked.
"Yeah," she shrugged. "Rain makes me wanna spend the day in bed, snuggling up to my comforter, drinking tea and hot chocolate."
"What about getting caught in rainstorm on your way to work and getting soaked wet because you use public transportation?"
"That part does suck," she looked up.
"So, you're planning on spending the day in bed?" he asked. She nodded, yawning.
"Mind if spend it with you?" he asked.
"No, but what about work?" she asked back.
"I can take a day off," he shrugged. "C'mon, let's go back to bed," he placed a kiss on her head.
"I wanna eat something first," she removed herself from his hold and turned on her heels, walking to the fridge.
"Go back to bed. I'll bring you breakfast," Jesse wrapped his arm around her waist from behind and placed a kiss on her neck.
"If I do that I'll fall asleep," she tilted her head.
"Bec, I'm trying to be romantic over here," he said in mock annoyance and made her chuckle.
"Sorry," she apologized. "I will be in bed," she put a hand on his arm and removed herself from his embrace.
"Don't fall asleep," he clapped his hands together, watching her stretch while making her way to her bedroom.
"I'll try," she told him.
Jesse grinned at her sleepy tone then turned on his heels. Opening the fridge, he glanced at the beer cans and bottle for a second then grabbed eggs and closed it.
After they went grocery shopping the day before, they made lunch together, cuddled on the couch while he watched Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt on Netflix and she napped. When it started to get late so Beca decided to leave and Jesse insisted he'd drop her off and ended up spending the night at her place.
Jesse made hot chocolate as a replacement for coffee, scrambled eggs, bacon and pancakes. As he eyed the food, he hoped Beca was still up and very hungry because he didn't feel like eating. He wanted one thing and he didn't want to go near it while he's around Beca. He felt ashamed for letting it get too far to become an issue.
Blowing a breath, he picked up the tray and started making his way to Beca's bedroom.
"You're still up," he said in surprise as he stepped into the room.
"Yeah, I kept myself busy," she shook her phone and sat up.
"E-mails?" he asked, trying to keep his hands from shaking and miserably failing. Beca took the tray from him after putting her phone aside. "No," she paused, placing the tray on her lap, "I was reading an article on Alcohol withdrawal."
Jesse uncomfortably scratched his beard and sat down, giving Beca his back.
"Jesse, you've been sober for almost 24 hours. If what I read is true, and it probably is since it's on Wikipedia, you could have a seizure," she paused hearing him sigh. "Jesse, this is serious."
"You think I don't know that?" he turned around to face her.
"You don't seem to acknowledge it," she spoke softly. "I spent the entire day with you and you didn't bring it up except at the subway station—and I'm pretty sure you did that to make me change my mind."
"How am I supposed to bring something like this up?" he asked and watched her put the tray on the nightstand.
"Like they do in movies when they go to support groups?" she shrugged. "Do that," she added when she saw that her suggestion made him crack a smile. She knew that he was uncomfortable and wanted to be as supportive as she could.
"I'll go first" she said, extending her hand. He took it and climbed next to her.
"But you don't have a liquor problem," he told her, feeling her squeeze his shaking hand.
She shrugged and cleared her throat, taking the hot chocolate mug from the tray. "I'm Beca Mitchell and I'm a workaholic," she paused to look up at Jesse, "it runs in the family: Mom's a workaholic. Dad got away with his skin and moved to a different state but I stayed with her," she sighed thinking back at her parents divorce and took a sip from her mug. "I'm working on two separate projects, running a department in a label branch that if I don't make 250 thousand dollars by new year's eve we'll lose the only shot the branch has at not getting cut off. So, no pressure," she chuckled humorlessly.
Jesse placed a kiss on her forehead when she exhaled and threw an arm around her shoulder. He knew she was struggling to keep it together and not let her anxiety get the best of her.
"Your turn," she gave him a small smile.
"Okay," he inhaled a deep breath. "I'm Jesse Swanson and I'm an addict," he paused and felt Beca rub her thumb over his knuckles. "It all I started when I caused my unborn child's death and pushed the one person that could help me out of my life," he sniffed. "I should have stopped but the blackouts felt good," he shrugged. "It worked for a while then I became dependent on it and I didn't care."
He felt Beca put her palm on his chest and looked at her. His heart was beating really fast and he thought he put a good front to hide it yet she noticed it.
"Do you understand the importance of getting medical attention?" she asked, as she held his gaze.
"Yes," he nodded.
"Do you want help?"
"Yes." he rapidly nodded. She sighed a sigh of relief before leaning up to kiss him.
"It's gonna suck a lot but I'm here Jesse. You're not alone," she said, pulling away.
"Even if things don't work out between us, I promise that you won't get rid of me until you get better," she told him and placed a forceful kiss on his lips.
"Thank you," he smiled weakly at her.
"Don't thank me," she shook her head. "I saw you go down this road and didn't even talk to you about it," she sipped from the hot chocolate and kept looking at it.
"I wouldn't have listened" he exhaled, clenching his chest.
"Breakfast is getting cold," he cleared his throat and placed his hand on the bed sheet and clench it instead. "You should eat," he tried to smile at her when she looked up and eyed him.
"Jesse, there's beer in the fridge," she told him.
"Beca, I'll be fine."
"No, you could have a seizure," she shook her head and sat up to put the mug in the tray. "You can't cut alcohol completely from your system." She held his hands, "your hands are shaking and your heart is beating really fast."
"I..." he trailed off, not knowing how to put it. He didn't want to drink because he didn't trust himself to know when to stop since he was craving it so badly.
"I won't judge you," she paused. "I love you and I understand your needs even though they could kill you on the long run but staying sober without being monitored by a doctor could kill you too," she squeezed his hands. "You want help and that's I care about. But for now you need alcohol," she held his gaze. He tsked then nodded.
"How much do you need?" she stroked his cheek.
"I don't know," he honestly answered. "I just know that I won't feel good until I'm at least buzzed," he added to which she nodded.
"I never thought a day would come where I'd encourage an alcoholic to consume alcohol," she said and got off of the bed. "I'll be right back," she told him as she paced out of the room and came back less than a minute later holding a beer pack.
"Would this be enough?" she asked.
"Yeah," he sat up. 6 beer cans would get him buzzed if he drank them all at once.
"You still gonna eat with me," she told him as she handed him the pack. "I'm not gonna eat all that by myself," she added when he looked at her in puzzlement.
"Food would help soak up the beer," he apologetically told her.
"Eat after you're done with that," she nodded at the beer pack. "You lost a lot of weight, Jesse, and it will become problematic if you don't do something about it," she placed the tray on her lap and paused. "God, I sounded like my mother just now," she shook her head.
"That's not a bad thing," he hesitantly popped a can open. "Your mom cares about you and you care about me," he smiled at her.
Beca stole glances at him and saw the drastic change in him. The shakiness stopped after the third beer. He was drinking beer like a person who found an oasis in the desert.
"You're done?" he asked her once she put the tray on the nightstand.
"Yeah," she nodded. "I left you your share," she added, looking back at him.
"I'll heat up and eat it later," he brought the beer to his lips. "C'mere," he extended his arm for her.
"Your heart isn't beating as fast as it did earlier," she said as she rested her head against his chest and took his free hand and held it.
"If you wake up and you don't find me know that I went to feed Bender, okay?" he told her.
She nodded and closed her eyes.
"I love you," he rubbed her arm.
"I love you too," she rested her palm on his chest and curled up in his arms and smiled when he placed a kiss on her forehead.
"Sleep well," he told her and watched her fall asleep.
"Keys are on the counter," she mumbled as she started to fall asleep.
Beca woke up, startled by thunder. It took her a few seconds to realize that it was just thunder. She glanced at the clock on her nightstand and saw that it was 14:02 pm. She hopped off of her bed and started making her way out her bedroom.
Reaching the kitchenette, she saw that Jesse cleaned and hoped he ate something.
She put a pot of water to heat up, planning on making some tea.
"Hey," she smiled when she saw Jesse unlock the front door and get in. "Shit," she laughed when he walked in soaked wet.
"Yeah, this is funny," he said in annoyance as he tossed his back bag on the floor.
"I'm sorry," she apologized and started making her way to her bedroom then came back with a towel in her hand.
"Why are you still wearing your clothes?" she asked, seeing that he was shivering in his wet clothes. "C'mon, take these off."
"I fucking hate rain," he mumbled, taking off his jacket. Beca took it from him and tried not to laugh at him as she hug it.
"Yeah but you love Bender," she said watching him tug up his t-shirt and sweatshirt at the same time.
"Yeah," he nodded, sounding less annoyed.
"You should go take a warm shower," she told him as took his wet clothes, made her way to her bedroom and tossed them in the dirty clothes basket after emptying his jeans' pockets. "You could catch a cold," she told him when he followed her into the room, wearing nothing but his boxers and holding his back bag.
"I brought clothes," he sniffed, drying his hair and holding up his back bag.
"Good call," she watched him quickly dry his chest before he threw an arm around her shoulder and hugged her. She looked up and kissed him and smelled Bourbon.
She didn't make any remark on the smell because he still hadn't seen a doctor. She believed him when he told her that he wanted to change his habits.
"Go shower," she pulled away.
"Okay," he nodded and unwrapped his arm.
Beca was still tired and had a feeling that she wouldn't get a chance to relax until they make 250 thousand dollars by new year.
Actually, she wouldn't relax until the seven months are up and they either shut the branch or keep it going.
Beca sighed and turned off the stove then tip toed to get tea from the shelf. After making herself tea, she sat on the couch, grabbed one of the music sheets, that Jesse moved from the counter when he made breakfast, and began reading it. She recognized the melody and wondered when had she seen it before. When her memory betrayed her she decided to play it on the keyboard, hoping that hearing it would jog her memory.
She walked to her bedroom where she kept the keyboard while she eyed the music sheet and only looked away to put the mug of tea on the floor near the keyboard. She then sat down Indian style, put the sheet in front of her and started playing the notes. When she got to the part where the writing becomes worse than a 7 year old's, she looked closer to decode the hieroglyphics on the sheet.
Figuring the notes out, she started from the beginning of the piece that was too short to be a piece.
"What you playing?" Jesse asked, as he walked out of the bathroom.
"B0917," she read the title. "Dude, what's with these titles?" she tilted her to look at him and stopped playing.
"I'm not good at naming things," he told her as he picked up his back-bag and unzipped it. "0917," he murmured quietly.
She looked back ahead of her resuming what she was doing. Halfway through, she remembered where she'd came across it before.
"It's not finished," he told her. "And, I want it back," he added, slipping on his sweatpants.
"A lot of the stuff you've given me isn't finished," she glanced at him and watched him wear his t-shirt.
"Where did you put the stuff that were in my jeans pockets?" he asked.
"Nightstand," she said and watched him grab his wallet then walk back to her. "Here," he extended his hand, holding what she guessed were 77 bucks.
"You seriously paying for it?" she arched her eyebrows.
"I'm not selling this one," he shrugged.
"You didn't get your paycheck yet: there's no need to pay for this back," she picked her mug up and took a sip while she eyed the piece. "Jesse, could you hand me my phone?" she glanced up.
"Yeah," he nodded and made his way to her bed, grabbed her phone, put his wallet on the nightstand then walked back to where she was sitting and handed it to her before he sat down next to her.
"Thanks," she thanked him and unlocked the screen. Jesse rubbed her back in response then shifted his attention to the keyboard and started playing random notes.
"It's a date," she mumbled.
"Huh?" he looked up.
"The 0917 in the title is the date you wrote this— started writing," she told him as she held up the sheet. "I'm guessing the B is my initial," she shrugged and looked up to meet his gaze.
"Congratulation, you cracked the mystery of my lazy titles, Nancy Drew," he slow clapped and laughed when she slapped his shoulder.
"Ow," he rubbed his shoulder.
"Well, my initial is actually R," she told him.
"So, what does the B stand for, Ms. Drew?" he asked in mock shock. "It can't be Bender," he scratched his beard, pretending to think. "Or could it?"
She nudged him. He chuckled and threw an arm over her shoulder, bringing her closer to him. "Why do you want it back?" she asked.
"I wanna finish it," he placed a kiss on her cheek. She nodded and put the sheet aside.
"You should. I really wanna hear the finished product," she told him.
"I know you do," he smiled at her.
"I got you other sheets I found at my place—they were under the bed and I'm surprised Bender didn't eat them," he told her and reached for his back-bag and started emptying it.
"You might find something you like," he shrugged. "Most of these are shit, Bec: you don't have to buy them," he said.
"They're more than enough for me," she took a sip from her tea. "I just need source material to work around instead of actually creating melodies." She grabbed a sheet from the pile he put on the floor. "This is like 25% of my job and it's already done," she started reading the piece.
"I'm not sure I even know what is it that you do anymore," he scratched his beard.
"Lately, a lot," she chuckled humorlessly. "But I meant producing when I said job," she put the sheet down.
"May I?" he asked, resting his fingers on the keyboard same time as she did.
"Sure," she nodded and pulled away.
He cleared his throat and began playing Smile by Uncle Kracker before started singing.
"You're better than the best
I'm lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler than the flip-side of my pillow (that's right)
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where you send me
It lets me know that it's okay (yeah, it's okay)
And the moments when my good times start to fade," he softly sang while playing on the keyboard then looked up before he began to sing the chorus.
"You make me smile like the sun,
Fall outta bed
Sing like a bird,
Dizzy in my head
Spin like a record,
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool,
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold,
Buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile," he smiled at her and felt his heart beat faster but not in the uncomfortable way it did when was suffering from a withdrawal. His heart was beating fast because he meant the words he was singing and the way she was lovingly looking at him made him happiest he'd been in a while.
"Even when you're gone
Somehow you come along
Just like a flower poking through the sidewalk crack
And just like that
You steal away the rain
And just like that," he grinned at her when she rolled her eyes at the grimace he made when he mentioned rain.
He paused for a beat before repeating the chorus and as he started to sing it she joined him in it then rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes.
"Don't know how I lived without you
'Cause every time that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile," he looked down at her and placed a kiss on her forehead as he continued playing the notes before he sang the chorus again.
Finishing the song, Jesse rested his cheek on her head and took her hand in his.
"I really hate you right now," Beca sighed and squeezed his hand.
"Not the words I was expecting, but okay," he replied.
"I hate you 'cause if I do what I wanna do right now you'll probably run for the hills," she said thinking back at how he mentioned that he didn't want them to have sex until he was sure he wouldn't push her away after they do.
Jesse eyed her for a few seconds when she looked up then leaned in and kissed her forcefully.
"Jesse?" she called questioningly as she kissed him back hesitantly.
"Sorry," he eased out of the kiss. "Hey, Beca?"
"Yeah?" she watched him.
"Does dry humping get you off?" he asked.
"That's a tricky question to answer," she blew a breath. "It depends on who I'm with and how turned on I am," she added.
"Wanna give it a try?" he asked.
"Yes," she answered and threw her arms around his shoulder, chuckling when he fell on the floor.
"Bed?" he mumbled. She shook her head in response.
"I need to go change," Jesse said and sat up. "Fuck," he ran his fingers through his hair.
"What's wrong?" Beca asked, sitting up as well and trying to control her breathing.
"I don't have clean boxers to change into," he told her.
"I got that covered," she told him and took a moment before she managed to stand up and walk to her wardrobe.
"Here you go," she threw Matt's underwear he left at her place for Jesse to catch.
He caught the boxers and eyed them.
"Whose are these?" he asked.
"Do you really wanna know?" she asked back.
"Yeah," he uncomfortably got on his feet.
"I didn't sleep with their owner and that's all you need to know," she said and tried to keep the smile off of her face as she watched him try to not let her see how badly he wanted to know more. "Don't take forever: I need to shower," she told him when he stepped into the bathroom.
"Okay," he replied.
Five minutes later, Jesse walked out of the bathroom to find Beca scrolling down her phone. "Hey, Jesse, what do you wanna eat?" she asked without looking up from her phone.
"Anything would be good."
"Would be Vietnamese be okay?" she asked, chuckling at his tone: he was still annoyed and wanted to know to whom belonged the underwear.
"Sure," he shrugged.
She nodded and dialed the number of Vietnamese place then brought her phone to her ear, placed an order and tossed her phone on the bed after hanging up.
"What are you doing?" she asked, watching Jesse plug her blow dryer while he held the boxers he busted his load in when they dry humped.
"I washed it and I'm gonna dry it and wear it back," he turned the blow dryer on.
"Weirdo," she shook her head and made her way to the bathroom.