AN: thank you for encouraging and reassuring words guys, they truly mean a lot.

I wrote this chapter today which is super weird and rapid for a 4k long chapter. I listened to a lot of Iron and Wine while writing this chapter. I don't know if it would matter in anyway but you might wanna check out Such Great Heights, Upward Over The Mountain, and Each Coming Night while reading this chapter. They were inspiriting and they're pretty dope ass songs.

Anyway, enjoy and thanks for dropping by.

The next day.

Beca ran into Matt who wasn't doing any work, as per usual, in the break room. He was sitting by the table eating a sandwich.

He gestured for her if she wanted to eat and she shook her head.

"Break isn't for another hour," she reminded him as she set the machine.

"I know," he swallowed. "But I'm hungry. Sue me."

Matt frowned when Beca leaned against the counter and huffed running her fingers through her hair. She took a pill for the fever and headache but it wasn't doing anything to her yet and she really needed it to do its magic instantly.

"What's that?" he asked when his eyes fell on her wrist. Beca subconsciously pulled her sleeves down at his question.

"It's nothing," she turned to the coffee maker and eyed it.

She closed her eyes when she heard him walk to her. "I'm gonna touch you, please don't actually sue me," he said jokingly but she could hear the seriousness in his voice as he reached for her shoulder and turned her around.

"How did this happen?" he asked as he carefully rolled her sleeve up and held her arm.

"A stupid accident," she sniffled her running nose. Matt nodded while rubbing circles on her skin then glanced at her other hand and took it in his.

Beca quickly pulled her hands and gave him her back.

"What kind of accident leaves you with two banged up wrists? Did you get arrested or something?" he asked, he kept his tone light but was seriously concerned.

"Or something," she mumbled, pulling her sleeves down before she grabbed her cup of coffee.

Beca busied herself with emails until lunch hour came around. She had no appetite but also didn't want to spend two hours in her office all alone to her thought that weren't pleasant.

Stepping out of the building, Beca started to walk down the street then froze when Jesse crossed the street, running to her.

She kept a stoic expression as she eyed him. He looked like shit. His bottom lip, that she bit, was swollen. He didn't seem like he had any sleep. He was panting and didn't seem to have prepared what to say to her.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, stepping closer to her.

"Don't touch me," she said in a nonchalant voice, taking a step back.

He nodded. "Go ahead, Beca," he told her as she looked at the sidewalk. "Tell me to fuck off. God knows I deserve more than that." He saw tears fall from her eyes and knew he was causing them.

"Beca, how can I fix this?" he asked. He reached over to tilt her head and made her flinch at his touch. The fear he saw in her eyes broke his heart. He took a few steps back and put his hands up in defeat. "I won't hurt you, Bec. Yesterday, I was in an awful place and I can't blame anyone but me for letting myself get there. But I swear I will never hurt you, again." He swallowed, seeing that she didn't seem to believe him—he had trouble believing himself so he didn't blame her. She looked behind him and had a panicked look on her face instantly, "Matt, don't—"

"You motherfucker!" Matt pulled him by his shoulder and landed a punch on his nose.

Jesse took a few seconds to register what happened. He sniffled the blood he felt coming from his nose and dodged the next punch from Matt.

Beca knew that Jesse didn't stand a chance. Matt was athletic and taller than Jesse. He could easily hand him his ass.

"Matt, stop," she shouted.

"This fucker hit you. He should spend a night in the hospital," Matt told her while he threw a punch at Jesse, his fist landing in Jesse's stomach.

Seeing that Matt wasn't going to stop throwing punches, Beca stepped between them, shielding Jesse. "Stop," she sniffed, holding Matt's gaze. "Jesse didn't hit me," she told him. Matt frowned in confusion as he unclenched his fists.

"But your wrists—"

"Stay out of this," Beca cut him off then turned to Jesse. She eyed his bleeding nose then grabbed his hand when he tried to touch it. "Don't," she said, letting go of his hand as if it were burning hers. "You'll make it bleed even more," she leaned up to check if it was broken. It didn't look fractured.

Beca grabbed Jesse's arm, reached for Matt's as well, and walked them with her back to the label in silence.

She led them to the break room then let go and walked to the fridge, pulling a couple of cold burritos from the fridge and handing them to both Jesse and Matt.

"Press it on your knuckles," Beca told Matt who was about to open the burrito and eat it.

"Jesse, go sit down and keep your head elevated," she told Jesse while she grabbed a chair and climbed on it to get the first aid kit, wondering if it actually had anything in it.

"Matt, could you please give us a minute?" Beca asked, while keeping her gaze focused on the kit in front of her, after she helped Jesse stop the bleeding.

"Nope," Matt answered. "I'm not leaving you with him."

"What, your Beca's self-proclaimed bodyguard?" Jesse asked.

"You should be glad Beca stepped in," Matt told him as he opened the wrapper and took a bite from the burrito.

"Matt, please leave," Beca looked up. He nodded. "Call if you need anything," Matt said as made his way out. Seeing that he closed the door, Beca took a few steps away from Jesse.

"I went to see Dr. Martins yesterday when you told me to leave," Jesse started to say as he watched Beca uncomfortably rub her temples. "She gave me a legit explanation. It doesn't change what I didn't and almost did but it's given me some peace of mind and I wanted to tell you." He winced a little, pressing the burrito under his eye. "She said that a part of me was seeking comfort from you. Sex with you helped me cope with my feelings the day of the accident and yesterday I must have gotten to that place again."

Beca nodded at what he said.

"So, this is basically my fault because I suck at comforting with words," she shrugged.

"Don't say that," Jesse got up. "I'm sorry, Bec," he apologized. "I never meant to hurt you and I really don't know how to fix what I did."

"Me neither," she answered, meeting his gaze. "I do know one thing though," she sniffed. "This," she nodded between them, "isn't healthy." She pulled her sleeves down. "I think we should take a break," she said in a low voice.

"You wanna break up?" he asked rhetorically as he removed the burrito.

"Jesse, please don't make this hard." She wiped her cheeks. "I can't be with you like this," she paused to compose herself a little. "I've never been more scared in my life than I have yesterday," she confessed. It hurt to keep it down and she had to get out of her chest.

"I'm so sorry," he apologized. "I really am."

She nodded at his apology and wiped her cheeks again.

"Guess this is goodbye then?" he put the burrito on the counter.

"No," she blew a breath. "You're not getting rid of me until you get better," she told him.

Her words made him smile in spite of himself. He had a tiny hope that they could work things out eventually. And, he was scared he'd hurt her again despite how much he tried to convince himself otherwise.

They both tilted their heads when the door got unlocked.

"You took too long," Matt said as he eyed them. Beca looked away and wiped her tears. "Everything okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," Beca answered.

"Don't you have an interview today?" Beca asked Jesse, remembering he was interviewing for an internship.

"Yeah, it's at 3:30," he nodded.

"You should go get ready," Beca said.

"I think I'm gonna skip. I highly doubt they'd hire someone who recently had a fist in his face," he glared at Matt.

"I'll write you a recommendation," Beca sniffed. "Tell them you got into an accident but didn't want to miss the interview, they'll see how serious you are about this internship," she told him.

Beca was proud of the front she had put on. She was aching and breaking up was tearing her up on the inside but she couldn't do it anymore, not when he was capable of hurting her. But she meant what she said, she wasn't going to bail on him. She was going to help him until he no longer needed her help.

"You can either wait here or follow me to my office," Beca told Jesse as she started to make her way to her office. He followed her.

"You gonna spend the rest of your break writing him a recommendation letter?" Matt asked following her.

"Yeah," she unlocked the door and got in. The internship was very important to Jesse. A letter from the director of A&R praising a composer she had personally worked with will definitely help him a lot. She took a seat in her chair and looked up.

"You think you could get me a hot dog from the truck down the block?" she asked Matt. Matt hesitantly nodded. "Want anything to drink with that?" he asked.

"No," Beca smiled at him then shifted her gaze to look at Jesse who took a seat on a chair facing her office and winced touching his face.

Beca was anxiously biting her nails, in a diner not far from where she worked, instead of finishing the waffles she ordered.

It had been thirty-three days since the incident, thirty-two days since she and Jesse has broken up, and thirty days since he had gotten the internship.

She wanted to be a good friend to him and even talked to his shrink and asked her for pointers and tips.

It sucked to be apart but at the same time, and as long as she couldn't shake off the fear she had, she knew they couldn't get back together. The bruises on her wrists faded but the way she felt was still a constant.

She loved him but couldn't let herself be with him.

Beca wasn't supposed to be working yet she had a binder in which she put the drafts she had made for her A cappella arrangements.

Her personal life had interfered with her work a lot recently and she needed to get a grip and work harder.

Beca looked up from her binder, hearing a familiar voice. She tilted her head at the source and saw Nick, her ex-boyfriend from college who on had made it clear that he wanted her back. He didn't try to get in touch anymore so she figured he gave up.

She brought her milkshake to her lips and took a sip as she watched him help a pregnant woman sit down at a booth not far away from hers. The woman looked very pregnant. He must have felt her gaze because he looked her way. Beca waved meeting his gaze and arched an eyebrow at the uneasy look he had when he saw her.

"How are you been, man?" she asked, purposely trying to get the woman's attention.

"Beca," he called, smiling at her after the initial reaction he had. "I've been well," he stuffed his hands in his pockets. "You?"

"Same," she replied.

Beca looked at the woman, feeling her gaze.

"Aren't you gonna introduce your friend, Nick?" the woman asked, smiling kindly at Beca.

Beca nodded along, agreeing with the pregnant woman.

"This Lana," he paused, "my wife." He looked up at Beca. "Lana, this is Beca we went to college together," he said while holding Beca's gaze. She felt like he was silently asking her not to mention that they dated.

"Congratulations," Beca told them as she nodded at Lana's baby bump.

Nick owed her some explaining because either he was trying to cheat on his pregnant wife or they were on a break. Either way, he needed to clear things up.

Beca hated cheaters and she once kissed him. True, she only did it to stop Jesse from following her around after the first time she broke up with him. However, Nick had a wife therefore; she could have done something she hated about people.

"Thank you," the woman rubbed her hand over her belly. Beca smiled at her then looked back at her binder.

"Were you and Nick friends in college?" she heard the woman ask.

"Honey, Beca looks busy," Nick chimed in.

Beca closed the binder and looked at Nick who sounded like he really didn't want the two to be talking and it really made her think he's guilty of trying to cheat on his wife with her.

"We dated in college," Beca told her.

"Oh," Lana said in surprise. Beca pursed her lips together and was grateful Jesse walked into the diner. She gestured for him to join her.

Jesse looked well put together for an outsider, but Beca knew he was barely keeping it together and that he was pulling so much effort to get his life back on track. What Jesse liked to refer to as the incident, because it was easier to refer to it by that than what it really was, was a wakeup call.

They decided to meet up every Thursday at the diner near the label. It was Beca's suggestion; Jesse knew that she didn't trust him to be alone with him in a closed room.

"Hi," Jesse said as he looked at Beca then at Nick and his pregnant wife where Beca glanced.

He frowned because he knew Nick and remembered his intentions too well. Beca yelled them at him in a fight. It was somewhat hard to forget.

"It's good seeing you, Beca," Nick said before holding up the menu and ending their interaction.

"Isn't that…" Jesse trailed off.

"Yeah," Beca nodded, pushing her plateful of waffles his way. "I'm full. Wanna eat those, they're still warm?"

He nodded and pulled the plate his way. Beca grabbed her milkshake busing herself.

"Who's that with your ex-boyfriend?"

"His wife." Beca licked her bottom lip after swallowing.

"Didn't you say he wanted you back?" he frowned.

"Yeah, he's got some explaining to do," Beca opened the binder again. She glanced up when Jesse clenched his fist. "Jesse, I just kissed him, it's not a big deal," she calmly told him.

"You hate cheats," he said as if he was reminding her. "You could have fell for whatever sick plan he had!"

"Or they could have worked things out," she said, trying to convince herself more than convince him. She really wanted Nick to explain himself then sucker punch him if it turned out that he was planning to cheat on his wife with her.

"Do you really think that's the case?" he kept looking at her until she looked up.

"Jesse, I will deal with this on my own," she firmly told him. He sucked in a breath then nodded unclenching his fist.

"How was the internship?"

"I don't know what you have written in that recommendation letter because my boss loves me," he told her as he brought a waffle to his mouth.

"I put in a spell in the first few lines of the letter that make the reader think that the sun shine from your tight ass," she joked then looked away from him, not sure if they were in a place where she can joke around about his ass.

"No, seriously Becs, he's being really great and it has been barely a month." He paused to swallow.

"Maybe because you're a total catch?" she said. "You really are," she added when he rolled his eyes thinking that she was still joking.

"So, my therapist said I should try and drive," he told her changing the subject.

"Drive," she frowned.

"Yeah," he nodded. "She said it's a milestone that I have to reach and I can't reach it if I don't try."

Beca shook her milkshake slowly, thinking. "Want me to be there when you get behind the wheel?" she asked. He looked down at the waffles and shyly nodded.

She didn't say anything so went ahead and told her, "I don't want you to think that this is me being dependent on you. I just want you to be around because you deserve to see progress. I don't want you to feel like you're wasting your time with me."

"You don't owe me shit, Jesse," she held his gaze. He scoffed and looked out of the window and at the street.

"I'm serious," she insisted. "See nick over there," she nodded at Nick when Jesse looked at her. "I could tell you enough stories from our time together you'd think we wouldn't ever go our separate ways but we did. It sucked for a while then it stopped sucking over time. Now when I think back at the three years I spent with Nick I'd always think of the good times," she paused for half a second. "And because I broke up with him, I was able to meet Crispin. Whom because of I met you, nerd." She felt pain in her throat and had to pause again to make sure her voice stayed even. "Now that we called it quits you'll get to meet someone else and will, at some point, remember the good times, even if they weren't much, you shared with the weird girl that once had an awfully complicated relationship with," she smiled sadly at him. "I know I will."

She grabbed her milkshake and sipped from it while she avoided his gaze.

"So you're saying that I'll somehow forget all the pain?" he asked. She nodded.

"If you let yourself," she said after swallowing.

Jesse nodded slowly, soaking in everything she had said to him. If he understood correctly, she told him that she'd eventually forgive him and forget the bad days and that she won't be the last woman he'll fall in love with.

Beca pulled her cellphone when it chimed with an e-mail notification.

She hummed as she unlocked her phone.

"What's up?" Jesse asked.

"The budget meeting is in a week. They're sending me a friendly reminder." She put the milkshake on the table and started typing an e-mail.

"You haven't sent them your decision yet?" Jesse asked in surprise. It was clear that she was heading back to L.A. She had no reason to stay in NYC.

"I have now," she put her phone back on the table and picked up her milkshake. "I've been busy," she waved it off when he kept eyeing her.

Two meet ups later, Beca started skipping. Jesse figured she was busy getting ready to go back to L.A. and told her not to bother herself. He had shit under control, mostly.

She had a life and he was trying to accept that he no longer was a part of it. No matter how much Beca insisted that they were okay as friends. He could still see that she wasn't actually okay. She had her walls protecting her and he didn't blame her. He scared her and doubted she'd feel safe around him again.

She texted him on his birthday in the last week of February to wish him a happy birthday and that was the last he heard of her.

He didn't try to contact her anymore after that. He was trying to be an adult and let her go for good.

He knew she was still in New York because he frequently saw Mae and she told him that she and Beca were still working on her album.

It's a Friday, when Mae asked him if he was going to help Beca pack the next day, that he figured Beca was leaving. And, she didn't tell him that she was.

He went home feeling low after that. It hurt that she didn't tell him. He thought he deserved a proper goodbye.

Jesse gave Bender his food then jumped on his bed, burying his face in his pillows then lifted himself and groaned remembering that Sam spilled glitter all over his bed. (When he found the glitter on the bed the day before he told himself he'd clean it the next day and forgot about it.)

He got up knowing that he needed to shower to get rid of the glitter that his two-year-old daughter had gotten her hands on.

He still didn't know how she did.

His little girl was growing up and it was amazing how fast she welcomed him back into her life. Sam liked spending time at his place. He knew Bender was a huge factor but still it was great to know that his daughter didn't hold being absent from her life for several months against him.

He decided to clean the room then shower and somehow ended up doing neither.

He came across a folder he long forgot he left under his bed, hidden from Bender's claws and teeth. The folder had several pieces he wrote. He went through them until he came across one that was quite special to him.

It was an unfinished piece he started writing the night he got stitches on his head then got into a fight with Beca.

He remembered being so angry with her when he started it.

After a pack of beer, sorrow and frustration replaced the anger.

And as the writing started to look less like musical notes and more like a toddler's scribbles, the notes started to speak for how he truly felt about her behind all the anger and frustration; he loved her.

He promised himself to finish the piece but never came around to. He decided then to finish it and give it to Beca as a farewell gift.

Jesse spent the entire night working on it. All he knew that she was packing the next day. He had no clue when she was actually leaving and she didn't tell him so he doubted he'd know.

He wanted the piece to speak to her volumes when she would hear it or play it.

Jesse's goal wasn't to change her mind, he knew he couldn't even if he tried. It was too late. He just wanted her to know exactly how he felt about her.

He finished it at 7:11 am. Satisfied with the product, he decide to go and shower at last.

After showering, Jesse sat down and recorded it with using a keyboard software, which Beca introduced to him, then loaded it into a flash drive to give to her along with a copy he hand copied off of the piece.

2:07 pm, Jesse woke up to the loud crashing noise in the kitchen.

"Shit," Jesse jumped from the couch. "Shit mother fucking shit fucker," he cursed as he eyed the time.

He remembered deciding to rest his eyes while coffee brewed. He didn't remember falling asleep.

Jesse found Bender trying to reach for his box of dog food, that Jesse left on the counter the night before, and had made a mess in the process.

Jesse quickly fed him then ran to his bedroom, wearing a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and an unzipped sweatshirt over it. He slipped on his converse, grabbed the music sheets for the piece and stuffed them in a folder. the flash drive, his phone, change, metro card and his cellphone all went into is pockets. Then he hit the road.

Jesse anxiously paced the distance between the subway station and Beca's apartment then stood still when he saw a moving truck hit the road. "No, no, no," he murmured, seeing Matt's car follow it and confirm for sure that it was Beca's. He couldn't follow it on foot. Taxies seemed to disappear when he actually needed them.

Jesse looked around and felt like the unluckiest man walking the grounds of the big apple—it was a slight exaggeration but that was how he was feeling.

The end.

Just kidding.

The next and final chapter will up when it's written.

Thank you for reading, I'd like to hear opinions. So, leave a review if you want. Until next time, ciao.