You guys seem sad... I'll feel like Eric Cartman when I say this but... your tears are so good. Mmhmmmm sooo good... I need more... but not yet... no... they will taste better aged.
Chapter 19:
Cinder clutched the toy bear to her chest, once Ruby had told her the terrible news, the world had just turned to static. She couldn't hear anything. Her mouth became dry, she began to gasp for air. She felt like she was drowning all of a sudden. Roman had reached over and hugged Ruby who pushed him off.
She could see Ruby trying to say something and in turn felt her dad's arms hugging her as Ruby began to wheel herself out. She just clutched the oddly wet feeling bear to her chest as Roman hugged her and began to rub her back.
"It is okay Cinnamon bun... Red is a trooper... she'll give the doctors the finger... just you watch."
Roman knew it wasn't going to be that simple... or if she would really pull through. However he did know without a shadow of a doubt that if Cinder bought that blatant lie, she would only do so as a way to cope. Almost like it was the last shred of hope.
That night and the next few nights Cinder and Ruby both cried themselves to sleep. Cinder out of sorrow of how if what the doctors told Ruby was right... she'd be hurt all over again. Ruby cried out of anger. On two instances she was secured to the bed, so she wouldn't pose risk to any staff that walked in on her to check up on her condition.
Ruby began to swing on crutches through the school doors after being gone for a week total... but it felt off to her. She wasn't sure if it was the fact she knew she can't be normal anymore. How could she? Almost no one knows when they are going to die... she not only knows when, but how it would happen.
She hadn't even heard from Cinder since Roman handed her back her Xióng... and she doubted she would hear from her today. Even though Cinder got discharged a day after Ruby, Cinder hadn't shown to school according to Yang... but neither had Weiss.
She stopped when she got in front of her locker. She realised that she had no idea how she was meant to tell her friends. Any time she just imagined forming words she got angry all over again. She already felt the rage well up once again.
Slamming her balled fist into the closed locker in front of her she could feel the metal buckle partially under her hand. She could hear the groaning of the metal as she slammed her head into her own locker. She could feel some tears wanting to spill, she wasn't sure if it was from the physical pain she was in, or the emotional pain.
The eyes at the large group of lockers stared at her, not used to the violent outbreak of the normally happy and cheerful woman. They could count the number of times Ruby had done something violent on one hand. And those three times were all directed at the same person who has long since learned that Ruby was not the person you wanted to mess with.
"Ruby you alright?" Blake asked moving the fist from the locker. She had seen Ruby's sullen look when she entered while she was waiting for Pyrrha. She was worried. Yang had seemed to close in on herself for the last few days, and Weiss hadn't even shown up. It was strange to her. "No Blake... nothing is alright... the world is fucked up."
"Are you okay... normally you don't get this depressing... let alone around this time of year. Not going to lie... crash or not I was expecting Christmas songs non-stop." Blake asked and that is when she saw something she never thought she would see. Ruby was beginning to cry a little as she muttered something.
"Let's go somewhere private." Blake got out as she began to help Ruby away from the growing crowd. Once they were a distance away Blake led Ruby into the bathroom and quickly checked the stalls and then locked the door.
Ruby walked over to the sink and gripped the counters tightly. "Okay Ruby... spill... what has the single most happy person I've ever met being brought to tears? Excluding the suicide attempt you didn't even react this badly to finding out you had cancer..." Blake spoke as Ruby slammed her fist into the mirror.
"That's just it Blake... I'm tempted so very much to try round two, except do it better this time! I'm so angry right now and the more I think about things... the more I really really really want to... it is better than the alternative." Ruby continued as she looked at the fractured mirror. She was kinda glad that the entire mirror was glued to the wall. She just knew she would have taken a shard then and there to do something bad. Really, bad.
"What are you talking about Ruby?"
"You don't get it! With your perfect life!" Ruby yelled not even looking at her friend. Just staring at the porcelain sink basin. She was mad. She really wanted Blake to leave her. She was furious and wanted to stay in bed, but Yang had convinced her to show up.
Blake walked up to Ruby to look at her hand, the scrapes causing rivulets of the crimson liquid to start. "My life isn't perfect. I'm sleeping at most three hours a night, and only one of those is with Pyrrha. Both mine and Pyrrha's parents kicked us out. We thankfully got a cheap place... but if we don't eat at work from something a colleague gave us... we often don't eat or at least eat little. Hell that is why we've been getting in trouble for sleeping in class."
Blake brought Ruby's hand under the facet as she turned it on to try and clean Ruby's hand. "Still better than me... by miles..." Ruby began as she pulled her hand back to observe the damages herself.
'Better now than never...'
"I'm literally dying... my cancer... it spread all the way to my brain... not a single oncologist gives me more than three months... one actually gave me two weeks..." The raven haired woman froze. Suddenly her problems seemed minuscule. She had no idea how to take this.
'Now it makes sense as to why Yang closed in on herself.'
She could see more tears spilling from Ruby's eyes. Blake was overcome with the sudden urge to hug Ruby. So she did just that. "Worst part... I probably destroyed Cinder's confidence with people... and if the longest time a doctor gave me... I'd just get this boot off a month while I'm in agony as the part of my brain that controls my heart beating... and my breathing gets constantly crushed." Ruby cried as she tried to push away from Blake.
She had enough of hugs... she had gotten them from everyone. From Yang, from her parents from her Nǎinai, from Raven, and even the doctors who knew Ruby which was nearly the entire staff. She was sick and tired of hugs. Short of them coming from the woman she really cared about that is.
"Don't hug... I don't need a hug. I want to be angry... I'm furious... I wasted so much time trying to cure my damned cancer... and yet... it just worsened regardless. The only reason I'm in... is because I was strong armed into it. I just really want to just curl up in a corner and enjoy my last few days to months of unassisted living." Ruby spoke as she began to close her fists once again. She just wanted to vent the ball of anger she was feeling.
"I'm not going to pretend to know what that is like... but I can't let you just punch and head butt things that aren't going to give. If you want to do that, go to the gym with Jaune, or hit me... or any of us. Don't punch the mirrors or lockers... vent..." Blake spoke as Ruby pushed past her and began to swing towards the door.
"I'm not going to hit anyone Blake... I'm angry. Not delusional. So why the fuck would I take that anger out on you guys? If anything, I'd beat the shit out of my ex oncologist..." Ruby spoke as she reached over to unlock the door. "You aren't going to continue getting chemo?"
Ruby turned to Blake letting a sad expression to take over her face. "What is the point? I was only going through that torture so I could at some stage, either have a chunk of my lung removed or at least keep it contained... and that failed... so why would I go through that torture?" Ruby asked as she opened the door and began to swing out, closely followed by her raven haired friend.
Once Ruby reached her locker she flung it open, she could see out of the corner of her eyes her blonde sister looking at her, half wondering, have just gazing at her. Blake walked up behind the sister duo and waited for some reaction from them.
"Blake knows... one down... four to go..." Ruby spoke slamming her locker door shut. She turned around and moved herself over to the wall and lowered her down so she was in a sitting position. She felt exhausted from that one conversation with Blake, she had no idea how she was going to be able to stand that four more times.
Cinder began to swing on her own pair of crutches as she made her way towards the lunch table that constantly made her mad thinking about now. She was mad that Ruby had convinced her a matter of months ago to go out with her and sit at the table. Just because now she felt obligated to sit out there with them.
She frowned when she saw everyone's seemingly forlorn looks. She took a seat across from Ruby, and noticed how Ruby at least seemed to pick up at her appearance... but suddenly deflated almost as if she felt like she was causing Cinder pain from being there.
"Rubes... you need to eat... Nǎinai even made you your favourite..." Yang spoke gesturing for Ruby who had been picking at the few dumplings and rice she had in a metal container. "Wǒ bù è." Ruby muttered as she continued to poke at the dumplings.
"Whether or not you being hungry is irrelevant... you still need to eat." Yang continued as Ruby placed the tin in front of Yang. "Nǐ kěyǐ yǒngyǒu tā"
Yang placed the bottle of water she was drinking down as she grabbed the tin and moved it back in front of her little sister. "I don't want it Ruby." Yang spoke getting slightly irritated at the way Ruby was acting. The classes she shared with Ruby she even noticed a long off gaze, like she wasn't even paying attention in the one place she would always pay attention in.
"What is the point?" Ruby asked, startling some of the people at the table. That was the first English she has spoken since the classes really started. To the point when she was meant to answer something some teachers got annoyed at her refusal to speak any English. "I mean... it would be faster... a lot faster... then being hooked up to machines to keep my heart beating and lungs expanding..." Ruby continued as she pulled her chopsticks out and clamped the lid on top of the container.
"I'm heading home... I lived up to my promise to dad and I stayed till lunch..." Ruby spoke slipping her utensil into her bag and slid the container over to Yang. "Eat it... give it to someone... sell it online... I don't care. Just bring back the container." Ruby spoke standing up grabbing the crutches and began to go when she heard another pair of crutches hitting the ground behind her.
She turned around to see Cinder following up behind her. "I should go too... forgot my pain killers. It would also give us time to talk... haven't done that in what feels like forever." Cinder joked as she quickly caught up to Ruby.
Ruby shook her head as they quickly made their way out of the school through the front door. Only stopping to grab their jackets. As they began their journey back to their houses, Ruby began to crack a smile.
She had forgotten how enjoyable it was just being near Cinder. Though, somehow it was also made a lot harder. Cinder began to pant, gasping for breath. "Can we stop for a few? These things take a lot out of you." Cinder joked as they passed a bench that she unceremoniously plopped down on.
Ruby shrugged her shoulders and moved to sit next to Cinder. The silence was nice, just staring at the cars passing by. Neither wanted to ruin it. But Cinder interrupted it.
"You know... I actually thought about breaking up with you to try and soften the inevitable... but finally I realised there was no logic behind that... only reason I came in today. I was actually suggested not to leave home unless I desperately needed to. Felt like this counts." Cinder spoke, resting her hand on Ruby's who smiled at the contact.
Ruby spun her hand around so their palms were touching. "There is logic there... and I wouldn't blame you. Hell I haven't even seen or heard my best friend in a couple of weeks... she is probably in denial still... and my mind is starting to circle the drain... again..." Ruby began as she felt Cinder squeeze her hand once more.
"What do you mean?" Cinder asked, fearing the answer she felt was right. "Remember how I told you why Weiss is concerned about my health... and everything... well the short version is... I didn't take the news of me having cancer too well. In fact... I wouldn't have met you, or Salem if Weiss didn't stop the bleeding." Ruby spoke, hoping her quick version was enough to keep Cinder satisfied.
She could tell from the way Cinder's hand squeezed tighter it was enough. "Just... don't go down that way. Not now... because I'm going to make you a promise. If you only have three months left to live, we are going to make the most out of it. Every weekend, every week, we are going to make it even better than the last... and all things considered, the bar right now is set very low. I mean how can I top you getting a terminal diagnosis..." Cinder joked causing Ruby to laugh. Something she felt like she forgot to do recently.
"Well... regardless I get to drive. And as for the bar, just don't trip over it. I don't want your pretty face ruined." Ruby spoke leaning over and kissing Cinder's cheek as the taller of the two blushed.
Neither really wanting to spoil the mood by saying how much they hope that this was all just a misdiagnoses. But it was looming in the background. After a few more minutes Ruby pulled herself up and balanced herself on her good foot as she grabbed her crutches.
Cinder pulled herself up to be next to Ruby as they continued down the path once more. Practically humming at how neither expected the day to take this turn, but slightly glad that it did. Granted Cinder knew that she was going to have her dad being furious she just ditched school, but even he wouldn't be mad if she came up with a decent enough lie. That was just the main issue.
Ruby meanwhile, was just glad she could at least talk to Cinder. She was reminded why she loved Cinder. Once she figured out her thoughts, she could make everything seem better. Even with what they both knew was looming over Ruby, Cinder clearly wouldn't let that bother her. Something Ruby was happy for. But at the same time guilt stricken, knowing in a matter of weeks to months, she was going to cause Cinder pain.
Once the came up to the stretch of road where they would separate and go on their different ways Cinder spoke up just leaning on the crutches she had. "Quick... maybe unrelated question to a previous topic... what is your favourite animal that you don't have a stuffed version of."
"One timber wolf... or kinkajou... but the latter is just fun to say... and the do look cute. Two if you really want to get me a Christmas present, just stay with me... I really don't want anything else... unless you have a cure for stage four cancer... you know... excluding suicide." Ruby joked as Cinder raised an eyebrow.
"That second one sounds made up... like something Dr. Seuss would use." Cinder spoke as Ruby began to chuckle. "Seriously... look them up... they are cute and I assure you very real. Only problem is that I assume it would be hard to find a plushie one." Ruby spoke as Cinder continued to stare at Ruby, curious as to what the hell a kinkajou even was. "Text me the spelling later... until I see one, I will continue to assume it to be something like the Grinch... or the Whos" Cinder continued as Ruby rolled her eyes and leaned up to kiss Cinder.
Both had wanted to deepen the kiss but seemed to know that they couldn't because there was no way either one could support themselves let alone both of them. So they settled on a chaste kiss. Once they distanced themselves Ruby smiled. "I'll talk to you later... Yang probably already texted my family. And they are going to worry if they wait any longer for me."
"Okay... just be safe. And I'll text you what my plan is going to be for our second date later. After I look up that fake animal..." Cinder joked as Ruby smiled. "Okay... but once you see how adorable they are, you will be saying something different about them."
Ruby smiled as she saw Cinder begin to walk towards her house. 'I really hope she thinks of something fun.'
"Weiss... meine Lieblings Schwester..." Winter asked as she stuck her head into her sister's room. She could see her sister covered in her blanket as she continued what she had been doing for the best part of a week. Just watching old videos.
"I'm your only sister... and I know you don't like speaking German unless you have to..." Weiss continued moving the blanket on top of her head as she simultaneously wrapped the blanket around her tighter.
Winter pressed her lips together and made them form a single solitary line. "What is the matter... you've held yourself up here pretty damn well... I mean... like between whatever servant you convinced to bring you up food, and the private bathroom... you could are kind of set. But I'm starting to worry, and Mom has been worried since like day two of your hold out." Winter continued to speak as she walked further into her sister's room and took a seat on the edge of Weiss' bed.
"Is that blonde buffoon the cause of this pouting? If so we can make her suffer...would be slightly harder than normal... just because I like Ruby. Despite what I may say when she is here." Winter spoke trying to pull her sister into a one armed hug. Trying to see what was the matter with her.
Weiss just pulled the blanket tighter as Winter moved her into a laying position. She could feel some tears starting to build again, just behind their icy blue prison. "It is about Ruby..." Weiss spoke softly, she had no idea how well Yang was taking the news... which she felt bad for... but she didn't even know how to react to it.
"What about her?" Winter asked, concerned about her sister and depending on what Ruby did her sister's ex-best friend.
"Remember how I told you about Ruby having cancer?" Weiss asked hoping Winter could grasp what she meant from that. It was something she already didn't like to talk about. "I have a feeling I know what it is... it progressed... didn't it?" Winter asked rubbing her sister's arm, hoping to help her.
Weiss feebly nodded her head, as Winter smacked her lightly across the back of the head. "What was that for!?" Weiss asked incredulously as she freed a hand to rub the growing red handprint on the side of her face to instantly have her head dropped from her sister's lap.
"Because instead of helping your girlfriend and friend through this, you are here sulking. You know if the tables were reversed, Ruby would be here every damned day. To the point of you getting annoyed. So I'm going to go tell everyone that works here to not help you out until you go talk to Ruby. I'll even tell mom you're being a bitch... Edelweiss..." Winter spoke as she stormed out of her sister's room.
She had been worried something bad had happened to Weiss, but once she found out that Weiss could be making Ruby feel worse, she needed to punish Weiss a little and she knew the best way was to call her by her given name. Something that everyone who knew it knew she hated it.
"You don't get it Win..." Weiss muttered as her sister quickly came back into her room. "No Edelweiss, you don't get it. Ruby may be your friend, but she needs support now more than ever. And I can't believe I'm saying this, so does that annoying blonde woman. So you should go and be that support. Not be a spoiled child because you aren't getting your way." Winter continued as she walked closer to Weiss to unceremoniously rip the blanket that the younger of the two had formed into a cocoon.
Weiss frowned as Winter stormed out with her blanket. 'Could have left me with that at least... I mean it is late... now how am I meant to get to sleep? I so need to yell at her...' Weiss thought as she rolled out of her bed and slipped her slippers on. She trudged over to her bathroom door and grabbed her robe and tied it around her.
She stuck her head out her door to look down the hallway to see if there was anyone down them. Once she was sure she began to walk out and down towards Winter's room only stopping when she heard a distinct tutting sound.
"You thought I would keep your blanket in there? For shame Edelweiss. For shame."
"Stop calling me that Win! And give me back my blanket!" Weiss yelled hoping that the eldest out of the two of them would listen now, even though she doubted it. She knew her sister well enough to know that yelling was not going to work.
Winter smiled as Weiss began to frown deeper. "Nope. Not happening. Mom knows, and your blanket suddenly got dirty... strangest thing really. So you'll have to wait for a clean one to be brought up. But you know Sebastian... you'll have one soon enough." Winter continued as she walked closer to her sister.
Weiss held her ground, just holding her arms tighter around herself as Winter's gaze harshened. "You are heading to school tomorrow, and you will talk to Ruby. No discussion on the subject matter. So if I were you, I'd go back into my room, wait for a new blanket, and figure out what I'm going to say to Ruby." Winter spoke as she moved Weiss out of the way to her room.
"I'd start with admitting how selfish you were being. Then go on some rant how you'll change and be there for her all the time." Winter continued closing her door leaving Weiss to glare at her. "That is just your big sister using logic and such."
Weiss just grumbled as she walked back to her room once Winter had closed the door in front of her. As she walked into her room she saw her bed made in pristine condition. She smiled a little bit hoping that the butler, knew how much she enjoyed his speed at doing something so simple.
She quickly walked over to her bed and crawled in to it. Smiling as she closed her eyes. A simple thought being 'I guess Win really does know what I need more often than not... just wish she had more tact for it.'
Author's Note:
Welp... happier chapter... but I nearly tripped over the bar. And I swear as Buddha as my witness, this story shant go past 25 chapter including the epilogue. So enjoy that fact... Imma go play some final fantasy.