Chapter seven
Ruri could feel the bile rising in her throat. It's only with her willpower that she manages to force it down.
Killing. Killing should never come this easy to anyone Ruri thought while watching the ripper from the crow's nest. Happily ripping his enemies to pieces. With toadie next to her doing his best to snipe down anyone getting too close to their crew mates.
And she thought that she would have to use her devil fruit ability. It seems she has severely underestimated everyone on this ship. For the first time in four years she sees the true capabilities of the men and women she has been surrounded with.
Even from this distance she could see how easily the hell hounds pirates were being taken down.
Biting her lips Ruri watched silently. A part of her was in awe, no matter how much she would want to deny it. They were swift and harsh in taking the pirates down. Not the usual bantering she was used too. How strange too see them taking this seriously.
Especially the ripper.
Now she understands why Aunt Sonya gave that man that nickname. How fitting. His way of killing makes the hair on her arms stand up.
She won't ever be able to look at that man the same way.
She had thought that Maddox was the only other person who was a devil fruit user. Well, obviously she was wrong. How arrogant of her to think she is the only one who can keep secrets. And how arrogant of her to assume that nothing would be able to surprise her anymore.
Now she understands why Aunt Sonya was so amused with her confession.
There is no point in denying it. She has been surrounded by what she now knows to be New World sailors.
They never needed her. Seeing this one sided massacre she now agrees with her reasoning.
Ruri isn't sure what to feel.
In the end her secret is out for nothing. Not once did she have to use her devil fruit.
To think she has to guts to call other people fools when she herself can't seem to see the forest through the trees.
Ruri stood next to toadie. One of the people she had looked down upon. Just because he wasn't exactly the brightest crayon in the box didn't mean he was useless. She should have already learned that from her past life. People have all kind of hidden depths.
For better or for worse.
Maybe, just maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing to let these people in. They could have easily hurt her in numerous ways these past few years. Instead they welcomed her into their crew and patiently waited for her to accept them in return.
The only person she had been fooling is herself. She has trusted them practically since the moment she found out that their Captain was a D. Since Their Captain gave her a job and a place to belong.
Not exactly a smart thing, considering Marshall D Teach. That is if the man is even a real D.
Weren't they supposed to be unafraid of death?
For almost a decade she had tried to only care for herself. She had forgotten that humans are social creators. That they need each other too thrive.
Her depression it seemed hadn't disappeared. She was so used to not trusting anyone. To pushing people away. To burying herself into her work. Ignoring what was happening around her. That she even managed to fool herself.
The best lie is the one you start believing yourself.
It's time to put her trust in her nakama.
The same people who have accepted her for who she was. Who have given her the opportunity to see this worlds wonders with them.
In her past life she had always wanted to travel the world. To see the most miraculous of views. That dream may have died when she was fifteen but a part of her had never truly let go of it.
For once she wants to live a life without regrets.
That's why she promised herself that for once she will let go of her paranoia. For once she will put her life in the hands of another person. She won't let go of all of her inhibitions. But she will try to swallow her apprehension.
And who better to put her trust in than Sin D Sonya.
How could she not. After everything she has done for her.
There was suddenly a couple of loud booms followed by whistles. The cannons have been fired.
The fighting was coming to an end.
The pirates ship was burning.
She was surprised with how fast the hell hounds lost. Sure they may be in Paradise. That still doesn't excuse how weak they are. Or maybe she has too high expectations due to the manga.
Ruri could feel her hands shaking. But she can't bring herself to stop. This is what her life has come to.
Her feelings were in turmoil.
She already knew that she will have a hard time dealing with taking someone's life.
One of the disadvantages of remembering her past life are her morals and her different way of thinking. She had realized a while ago that this worlds upbringing is fundamentally different. She was raised in a society that protected and sheltered their children.
Not just their children. People may have known that a war was happening at the other side of the world but it was more of a distant fact that doesn't really touch them.
Their was no such thing as pirates and bandits. Sure they have own their criminals and gangs but it's far from widespread as in the One Piece world. Add in that she was raised in the upper class she never had to deal with anything even close to this.
She has to change her frame of mind. Something not easily done. There are times when she hears or sees something that appalls her but is completely natural for everyone else.
No matter how fun and adventurous Luffy proclaimed his journey to be. The reality is that this is a violent and chaotic world. Where people die left and right.
Ruri may be many things, but she held no delusions in what she has to do to survive in a corrupt world like this.
People might call her selfish, even though there isn't a human being alive who isn't selfish to a certain degree.
Hell, she would even agree with them.
They might even curse her if they knew she has the knowledge they desperately need. With what she knows she could easily help people out by just sending a meager letter to the right person. Or is some cases the wrong person.
Instead she decided to avoid having anything to do with the plot.
No matter what Ruri had promised herself. She won't be weak. She won't let her compassion overrule her common sense. One wrong move and she will be locked up as either a slave or an experiment.
She has to do whatever she has to do. To not just survive in this world but to thrive in it. If she want to have a life without having to look over her shoulder the rest of her existence.
She has to make this work somehow.
Making her first kill is one of the many actions she has to take to keep herself save. Somehow she hadn't realized how badly the decision alone would effect her. It turned out that she still was nothing more that a naive child. She never seems to learn from her mistakes does she. How is she even planning on going through with it.
She can't afford to second guess herself. It may not me necessary to kill someone when she is still this young, but she can't afford to hesitate in the middle of a fight. She knows her own weaknesses. If she doesn't brace herself before hand she might try to talk herself out of it. Not something she can afford when joining the navy. What with monsters like Akainu walking around.
Ruri snorted trying to keep her laugh in. It turned out to be hopeless. She started laughing and crying from all the emotions she had bottled up. She could hear toadie stop firing his rifle. He probably thinks she snapped she thought hysterically.
Finally she calmed down. She had to take a couple of long hard breaths before she was able to look at toadie. Cleaning her face up while she was at it.
God, she is a mess.
She found him patiently waiting for her. Like nothing out of the ordinary happened. And this was nothing more than an regular reaction.
Why is she making everything more complicated that is has to be. She is only holding herself back with those restrictions she has made for herself.
Ruri let herself relax for the first time in years. Feeling a part of her uncoil that has been there ever since she remembered.
"What is your real name." Ruri was ashamed to say that before this day she wouldn't have cared to know.
For once she actually looked. The man before her was middle aged. A bit younger than Aunt Sonya. He has a submissive feeling about him. His slumping doesn't exactly help his case. Nor does his scruffy look. Frayed blue sweater and downcast eyes. No wonder that she so easily dismissed him. He practically screams doormat. Except, put a rifle in his hands and his entire being chances.
What is it with snipers and their strange attitudes Ruri thought wryly comparing him to Usopp. At least he is only shy and not a compulsive liar.
"Auggie." He told her quietly avoiding her eyes.
Ruri took his left hand and smiled for the first time in this life in a way she had not done since she got her memories back. Not knowing that she made her fellow crew mate speechless. Not knowing that a part of her had finally started to heal.
"You won't understand, but thank you. Today showed me something I have been ignoring ever since I boarded this ship"
"Ah." He didn't know what to say. He ended blushing shyly confused but still pleased with himself.
The boy was so pretty when he smiled. He shouldn't hide it Auggie thought while they stood silently not paying any heed to the smell of fire and smoke that was engulfing them.
After what seemed like hours he managed to get the courage to tell the boy that he should smile more.
Ruri did smile back at him.
This will take some getting used too Auggie thought blindsided by the boy's sudden change in attitude.
Meanwhile, Ruri gathered her thoughts. It's time to completely come clean about her gender and her future plans. Now she has to wait and see how Aunt Sonya takes it.
She really should stop trying to predict how the woman will react. But she can't help herself the woman is like a walking, talking puzzle. Every time she thinks she has the woman figured out she does something that throws her for a loop.
No one could be sure what went through her mind. Being predictably unpredictable that way.
Sometimes she thinks she has lost her mind. Having made this all up. In the end it doesn't matter. She still has to live through it. She might as well do her best to enjoy the journey while she is at it.
She refuses to be weak. Not when she is surrounded by nakama who would be more than willing to make her stronger.
Afterwards everyone made sure that there were no survivors before returning to their ship the Soaring Dawn.
They couldn't afford to be lax.