Getting onto his high school volleyball team was just as stressful as doing any midterm or exam at the end of the semester. Tobio went to the gym where they were holding club applications first thing in the morning when he arrived on his first day of school. He hiked his bag up on his shoulders more and gripped the paper tight in his hand, nervous energy radiating off of him. He saw other kids come and go from the gym when he entered and the gym was huge.

Well, not huge huge, but bigger than his junior high school gym. Tobio went to the far back of the gym where he was told that the volleyball club applications were being accepted and handed in his application, releasing the breath he had been holding since he entered the gym. He turned around and was about to leave when something caught his eye and he stepped towards that booth, squinting his eyes so he could read the lettering.

Art Club.

Oh. Tobio bit his lip in thought. Maybe he should? He could try to fit both art and volleyball into his already busy schedule with classes and chores at home. He shrugged and grabbed an application, quickly scribbling down his info and whatnot. What's the worse that could happen?

"Kageyama, yo!" Someone shouted at him while he was still writing on the paper. Tobio finished and handed it in, turning around to face the one who called to him and sighed. Of course.

"What do you want, Kuroo?" Tobio tugged on the straps of his backpack and headed out of the gym and into the cool outside air. Kuroo followed after Tobio like a lost puppy and blew some hair out of his face. "You know, if you actually cut your hair once in awhile, you'd be able to see better."

"Shut the fuck up. Anyway, Oikawa told me to tell you to meet up with him and Terushima after school so we can go drinking at his place. You up?" Kuroo raised an eyebrow at Tobio and sat down across from him at one of the lunch tables in the quad.

"Sure. I have nothing else to do." Well, if he wasn't called in later that day to get told that he was or wasn't accepted into either club he wanted to be in. Tobio pulled out his sketchbook, a new one his mother gave him on his birthday last year, and started doodling in it. Kuroo watched in fascination.

"You applied for the art club too right? After you sent in your volleyball club application?" Kuroo asked, and when he received a nod from the other, he continued. "How are you going to balance both of them? Volleyball takes up most of your concentration and you can't afford to skip out on practice for art."

Tobio exhaled slowly. He knew Kuroo was right; he always was. He shook his head at his thoughts and rubbed his eye with the palm of his hand. "I'm going to try. I want to do both." He left it at that, grabbing his bag when he heard the bell ring for classes that are starting soon. "I'll see you after school."

Tobio survived classes even though he just wanted to skip and go hang out with Shouyou. He hasn't hung out with him properly since he first became friends with Oikawa and the others, and he could clearly see the hurt that shone through each time he spoke with Shouyou. It hurt Tobio too, but he didn't care to change it. That was his second mistake.

He sat in his last class for the day, staring out the window. He contemplated messaging Shouyou to see if he wanted to meet up later after he was done with drinking, but soon thought against it. The last time he met with Shouyou after he drank, Shouyou blew up on him and became a crying mess that Tobio never wanted to witness again. He scratched at his arm and tapped his foot against the floor, eyes moving to the clock that was on the wall above the door. 20 minutes. He grabbed his phone from his pocket and pulled up Shouyou's contact, typing out,

"Hey."

A simple greeting shouldn't hurt, right? Tobio hoped it wouldn't. Those twenty minutes flew by faster than he thought they would and soon enough he was waiting around outside the school building for Kuroo. Shouyou never messaged back, a heavy feeling erupting in Tobio's gut. That soon went away when he heard Kuroo call out to him from inside a car that was parked beside the curb. He could see that Oikawa was driving, why did they let him drive?, and Terushima in the back seat waving at him. Tobio grinned and walked to the car and got inside, fist bumping Terushima and smacked Oikawa on the back of the head.

"Why did you let him drive? You know how he gets." Tobio groaned, slapping a hand to his face. Kuroo belted out a huge laugh that got him punched in the arm by Oikawa.

"He wouldn't shut up until I let him. It can't be that bad." Terushima chuckled, buckling himself in.

"You clearly haven't rode with him before." Kuroo wheezed out, wiping the corners of his eyes while Oikawa started the car.

Terushima was wrong. So wrong.

By the time they got to Oikawa's house, Terushima was holding his stomach as he stumbled out of the car, spluttering, "What the fuck!?"

Tobio and Kuroo, who were far used to Oikawa's reckless driving, laughed once more and patted Terushima on the back. "We warned you. Next time, don't succumb to Oikawa's ruthless tricks." Oikawa scoffed and waved a hand at them, winking, knowing it was true. He unlocked the door and pushed it open, heading straight for the kitchen to get the beer and liquor. Tobio collapsed on the couch, shoving his head into a pillow. He grunted when Kuroo sat down on him and Terushima took the single recliner beside the couch. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket but was currently getting squashed by a certain asshole who wouldn't get off him so he chose to answer it when he could breathe again.

Oikawa came back out with a few beers cradled in his arms, cigarettes, and some really strong liquor; the ones Kuroo and Terushima loved the most. They told Tobio once, that "If the liquor is strong enough to knock you out of whatever negative shit you're thinking of, then always drink that. It helps." So Tobio soon caved and enjoyed the strong liquor just as much as the other two. Oikawa always went for beer and cigarettes since he claimed that "If I drink that heavy stuff, I'll do stupid shit and the last time I did, you guys wouldn't tell me what the fuck I did to that one guy that lives below me. So no. Shove it up your ass."

It was a while later, when the sun was setting low in the sky and Tobio felt amazingly better than he did the whole day, that he finally pulled out his phone to see who had messaged him. He blinked his eyes open, the words and sentences blurry as he tried to focus and he squinted his eyes, catching a heavily blurred "Shouyou" and he rubbed his eyes. Oh, fuck, he answered back. He sat up and looked around at the mess they caused. Beer bottled everywhere, stains masking the couch he laid under, cigarette butts on the floor and the table. Terushima and Kuroo were passed out, sprawled across each other on the floor and Oikawa was curled up in the recliner, drooling. Tobio groaned softly when he sat up, his head spinning, and brought his phone up to his face to read the message again. Shouyou responded at 4 p.m., and it was now 7. His message read,

"Tobio! Hi, it's been awhile. Sorry I haven't been able to talk to you, things have been hectic around my house. I need to tell you something important in person so let me know if you're free on Wednesday! :)"

Important? What could be so important that he couldn't just tell him over the phone? Tobio shrugged and sat up more, stretching out his arms before him. He should head home soon since he still needed to eat and shower, plus his mom is probably mad that he's late again. He smacked Oikawa on the arm, making him jolt awake, and told him he was leaving. All he got was a flip of Oikawa's middle finger and he left, taking a bottle of water with him so he wouldn't be as gross as he felt right now.

Tobio arrived home feeling better than when he left and he was glad because he didn't want his mom to worry over him again. He hung up his jacket and took off his shoes, making his way into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. "Hey, mom. I'm home."

"Oh, Tobio! How was school today?" She smiled, pulling him in to kiss his forehead. She laughed when Tobio made a face and he sat down at the table, leaning back in the chair.

"School was okay, I have a few classes with Kuroo. We met up with Oikawa and Terushima after school and went to the park. Oh, and Shouyou messaged me. He said he needed to talk to me and it was important? I don't know what it is, he said he's going to tell me on Wednesday."

Tobio's mother stopped stirring the contents in the pot and turned towards him, her lips set in a straight line and her eyebrows creased. "He hasn't told you yet?"

"Told me what?"

"Well, if he's going to tell you, then I won't say anything. His mother just told me a few weeks ago, that's all." She returned to stirring and left Tobio with his thoughts. A few weeks ago? What the hell could be so important that Shouyou deemed it necessary to tell him now but his mother told his mom a few weeks ago? He was suddenly angry and shoved himself from the table, stomping up to his room. He whipped out his phone and typed out a quick reply, anger seeping through his words.

"What could be so important that you need to tell me in 2 days? Your mom told my mom, didn't she? Why didn't you tell me when she told my mom?"

He flung himself onto his bed and stayed there, his face shoved into a pillow, until his mom came up to tell him dinner was done. He stayed still and his mom came over to sit beside him on the bed. "Tobio, don't think about what Shouyou didn't tell you, okay? He will, I'm sure of it. Tell me what you did at school today."

Thoughts of applying for the volleyball club and art club flew through his mind and he instantly perked up, sitting up on his legs. "I sent in applications for the volleyball club and art club."

"Oh, Tobio, that's wonderful! Did they ever call you in?"

"No, not yet. But I'm hoping I get accepted. I really want to do both. I think I can balance them out if I try hard enough."

"I'm sure you can, sweetie," Tobio's mom smiled, patting his cheek. She bit her lip in thought, a frown etching itself onto her mouth, and she met his eyes again. "How are you going to buy the stuff you need, Tobio? Have you thought about that?" Tobio swallowed, his throat felt dry all of a sudden. He knew she would bring this up somehow.

"I-I don't know, mom."

"You know we don't have a lot of money, and your father hasn't visited in months. I'll try my best to get you what you need, but just remember that I may not have the money when you really need them." Tobio's mother pulled him into a hug and Tobio nodded, squeezing his eyes shut. He completely forgot. He nodded and sniffed, pulling back to look at his mom.

"It's alright, mom. Do what's best, but please don't stress out because of me."

Wednesday came, the day Shouyou wanted to talk to him in person, but that day flew by and so did Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. A good three weeks went by without a word from Shouyou. Tobio had even messaged Shouyou on Wednesday, asking him where to meet and what time, but never got a reply back. To say that Tobio was furious was an understatement. But that day did come, when Shouyou finally showed up unannounced at his house in the middle of a calm Saturday during his freshman year.

Tobio heard the faint knock from his bedroom, his music blaring through his speakers. He turned it down and peeked out the window, looking down to see who it was but the roof blocked off the porch. He grumbled under his breath and stomped downstairs, flinging the door open and was about to berate the postman again but he stopped. He stared at the bright, orange head of hair and all his thoughts were banished from his head. He bit his lip and gripped the doorknob, clenching his jaw. "Nice of you to finally show up after three weeks." He said bitterly.

"I couldn't help it, Tobio. I had the time and place down and was going to call you and everything but I got held up." Shouyou frowned, crossing his arms.

"Whatever. Just tell me what's so important so I can go back to my homework." Shouyou looked at Tobio intensely, scrunching up his nose.

"You really did change, didn't you?" Shouyou whispered, casting his eyes down at the wooden boards beneath his feet.

"Everyone changes, Shouyou. You just haven't been around me because you hardly hang out with me anymore."

"Th-That's not my fault and you know it!" Shouyou cried, balling his hands into fists. "I didn't come here to fight with you, Tobio. I told you I wanted to tell you something. May I come in? Or would you rather go for a walk?"

"Walk." Tobio responded and he locked up the house behind him, following after Shouyou down the walkway and towards the park they used to always go to. "What's so important?" He repeated.

Shouyou was quiet for a good ten or so minutes, trying to muster up the courage to admit what had him preoccupied those past three weeks. The corners of his eyes were red, Tobio noticed, and looked puffy. How has he not seen that back at the house? Had he not been sleeping? Or had he been crying?

"Tobio, you know you're my best friend right? My only best friend. And you always will be." Shouyou started, his breathing picking up slightly. Tobio faltered in his step and glanced at Shouyou, his own breathing getting caught in his throat.

"What are you saying?" Tobio forced out, his voice cracking on the last syllable. He feared the worst.

"I'm moving, Tobio."

Those words hit deep in his heart and he stopped walking, forgetting how to breathe. No. No no no no. This was not happening. Just as him tripping at school in front of a crowd of people and screwing up his hands and knees. No. He wouldn't believe it; wouldn't accept it.

"You're lying." Was what Tobio went with. His voice shook and he squeezed his eyes shut, telling himself over and over that this was a dream. Just a dream.

"I'm not."

And when those words flew from Shouyou's lips, everything just snapped and came tumbling out of Tobio's mouth and he couldn't stop it and the tears he didn't know he still had cascaded down his cheeks and he shook his head fast, his whole body shaking.

"I won't believe this! You can't just leave, Shouyou! Is this why you have been avoiding me?"

"I leave in two days." Came the smallest voice Tobio ever heard. That's what made him cry harder and he started to walk again, to try and make himself calm down.

"Why did you chose to tell me now!? My mom said she knew a month ago! What the hell, Shouyou! I trusted you so much and you go and do this?" Tobio yelled, throwing his hands up. Shouyou ran after him, pleading.

"Tobio, I didn't have a chance to tell you, I told you this before! My mom told yours because she was done with everything that needed to be done. I was still packing! I had to leave school and focus on this and knowing that you were going to be upset with me when I told you scared me far more than when I caught you doing drugs!" Shouyou cried, hiccuping into his shirt when they finally stopped walking. They stood in the middle of the crowded park and Tobio felt exposed. The tear tracks along his cheeks and his red cheeks and puffy eyes giving away that he was a coward. That he didn't want to accept the fact that Shouyou was moving away and he couldn't do a damn thing about it.

"Shouyou, please don't leave. Don't leave me." Tobio finally spoke, his lips trembling along with his body. "You are my only friend, the only one I can call a true friend. Don't leave me alone." This caused Shouyou to make a noise in the back of his throat and rush forward, wrapping his arms tight around Tobio's waist, burying his face in his chest.

"I wish I could stay, Tobio, I wish I wish I wish. But I can't. Dad got stationed somewhere up north and he wants us to go live with him." Shouyou's voice was muffled by Tobio's shirt and he hugged him back just as tight.

"How far up north?" Tobio whispered.

"10 hours, maybe more. I wasn't told that much."

"Shouyou…"

"I know. I know… I'm so sorry, Tobio. Please, please keep in contact with me. I don't want to lose the only best friend I've ever had." Tobio's heart swelled up and he hugged Shouyou tighter, burying his face into his hair. He nodded.

"I won't. I promise." They pulled away from each other, having made enough of a scene as it was. Shouyou tugged Tobio along back towards their houses and silence poured over them. A good silence.

"So… You're moving in a few days?" Tobio asked, putting his hands into his pockets, staring down at his feet.

"Yeah. Friday." Shouyou said, scuffing his feet on the pavement as he walked.

"I'll see you off."

"Tobio, that's going to make it so much more harder for me to accept. You know it too." Tobio didn't respond, knowing that yes it was indeed true. They stopped outside of Tobio's house and stood still for a few minutes, not knowing what to do. Shouyou finally sprang forward and hugged Tobio again.

"I wish I could stay. I really wish. Just remember that I'm still here through volleyball and messages, okay?" Shouyou smiled tearfully, looking up at Tobio. The latter nodded and ruffled the orange mess of hair, mimicking his smile.

"Message me when you get there, okay? Tell me all about the car rides and things you see."

"You know I will." Shouyou laughed, hugging him once more. He pulled back and started down the pathway, waving. "I love you, Tobio! We'll see each other soon, I promise! Keep playing volleyball and drawing, I know you'll go far with them. I believe in you!"

Tobio watched Shouyou leave and another sob finally broke through, the tears he had been holding back since leaving the park finally escaping once more. "I love you too, Shouyou. Please be safe."

Months pass and Tobio was still missing a part of himself. The part that left when Shouyou finally wasn't a full part of his life anymore. He felt empty and numb and anything he tried to do to take his mind off of it resulted in him breaking down in his room for a good few hours until his mom found him and held him close. She never said anything, just held him until he calmed down.

He always went to drawing Shouyou when he felt upset or needed to occupy himself at school. Kuroo noticed this and teased him for the first few weeks until Tobio finally snapped at him and told him why he was drawing Shouyou and then Kuroo understood and shut up. Oikawa and Terushima never teased him, they always told Tobio to go with them drinking or to smoke whenever he was feeling down and he always agreed. Drinking and smoking and sometimes doing drugs with them always helped him calm down and forget about Shouyou and his missing part even if it was just for a night.

He would also drink at home too, now that his mother took up another job to try and help out with buying Tobio's volleyball and art club equipment and tools he needed to have. He happened upon some liquor in a high up cabinet that was pushed all the way to the back and he realized that maybe this was his dad's when he was home all the time. Tobio grabbed the remaining bottles and went to his room, shutting and locking the door behind him. He sat down on his bed and stared at the bottle in his hand. It felt heavy against his palm, and he let it drop to the floor. He flopped back onto his bed and heaved a sigh, closing his eyes.

Shouyou messaged him every once in awhile whenever he had the time, but that turned into messages every few days to every few weeks to eventually messages once a month. It hurt, knowing that Shouyou was forgetting about him while he was still wishing Shouyou was back down here again. Tobio rolled onto his side and was about to pick up the bottle he dropped when he heard an unfamiliar car pull up outside his house. Now, he's been living with his mom from when he was a baby and he knew the sound of her car by heart.

Tobio stood up and went to the window, peering out through the closed blinds. It was a dark blue car that looked like it was freshly polished. Tobio clicked his tongue and kicked the liquor bottles under his bed before leaving the confinements of his room to answer the door. He opened the door and was caught off guard.

Now, Tobio hasn't seen his father in over a good 13 years and he's forgotten most everything about the man except for when he saw him in pictures his mother had stashed away in her room. But right away he could tell that this man standing before him was in fact his father. He narrowed his eyes and stood between the door and the door frame, gripping the wood tightly in his hand.

"May I help you?" The man, his father, looked down at Tobio and a small smile erupted onto his face, stepping forward a little.

"Tobio, hello. It's been quite some time, hasn't it?"

"Mm. I'm sure it has. What do you want? Mom isn't home." Tobio sighed.

"She isn't? I was hoping to catch her at the house today. Do you know where she might be?" His father tugged at his tie, loosening it.

"She's at work. She has to work more hours. Why do you want to know?"

"I need to speak with her, but I also need to speak with you later on, if that's alright with you," Tobio's father cleared his throat, pulling out his phone and handing it to Tobio. "If you could write down her address, I'd appreciate it."

"You know, being her husband, you should know where she works. But I guess being away from home for 13 years makes you forget things." Tobio said idly as he typed in his mother's address. He roughly handed the phone back and began to close the door when his father stopped him again.

"Tobio, I know I haven't been home since you were small, but it was for work. Your mother knows this as well. Please don't be upset with me. I'll… I'll see you later." He waved to Tobio and walked back down to his car, getting in it and driving away. Tobio watched him go and shook his head, closing the door behind him. His father shows up just out of nowhere after so many years and expects to be welcomed back in with open arms? Ha. Tobio laughed out loud at that and sat down on the couch, pulling his legs up to his chest.

Shouyou leaves, and now his dad's back?

"What the hell…"

Tobio sat before his father at the kitchen table and his mother sat opposite to him. She set the table with the pork curry she had made and glanced at the two male patrons at the table, nudging her husband to start up a conversation with his son. He nodded.

"Tobio, your mother and I spoke when I went to her work. She understands why I was gone for so long, and so should you."

"Still doesn't explain the no calling or no letters or anything." Tobio grumbled, picking at his food. He wasn't even hungry and pork curry was his favorite food.

"How old are you now? 16?" His father said instead of answering back. "That's a good age to start going out and looking for a suitable girlfriend right?" Tobio spluttered and dropped his chopsticks onto the table, flinging rice everywhere.

"Excuse me? I don't want to have a girlfriend. I'm fine with volleyball and art right now, thank you very much." Tobio seethed, glaring at his father. His father simply shrugged a shoulder and continued on.

"Well, you should. Your mother and I aren't going to be around for that much longer and we want some grandkids. I know you're strong enough to find one on your own."

"I'm 16 years old! That's too young to find a girlfriend! And why can't you get it through your thick head that I don't want a girlfriend?" Tobio yelled, slamming his hands down on the table. His mother jumped in her seat and put a hand on her husband's shoulder, giving him a look.

"Honey, he is only 16. We aren't going to leave anytime soon, okay? Let him live a little and be himself. We never talked about this when we spoke earlier." She frowned.

"Well, he needs to understand this now so he'll go out and start searching soon. He's mature enough." Tobio's father gave his wife a mirrored frown and went back to eating. They grew quiet and ate through an uneasy silence, Tobio fidgeting in his seat and still poking at his food. He quietly excused himself and made his way upstairs to his bedroom, shutting and locking it behind him. He slid down to the floor and groaned into his hands, slamming his head back against the wall behind him. He didn't want a girlfriend, he didn't even want to make new friends besides his current ones. He only wanted to focus on his art and volleyball club.

Tobio lifted his head from his hands when he heard his phone go off from his bed and he scrambled up to grab it, flipping it open. His eyes landed on the familiar name that flashed across the screen and he could almost cry out in joy. It was Shouyou.

So he really didn't forget all about him! Tobio smiled so big he felt his cheeks begin to hurt as he read the message Shouyou sent him.

"Hey, Tobio! How are you? :D Sorry it's been awhile since I last texted you, mom has been on my case about grades and trying to do better in school. You know how I get with homework. Who even does that anymore? Anyway, how's volleyball doing for you? Are you keeping up with it and continuing to practice? I am too! I tried joining the volleyball club at my school but I couldn't get in because of my grades so that was a bummer. Text me back soon!"

Tobio bit his lip and reread the message again. Oh, Shouyou. He knew how much volleyball also meant to him, and to hear that he couldn't get in the club at his school was a bummer indeed. But it was also Shouyou's fault for not keeping up his grades.

He exhaled slowly, cracking his fingers, and began typing out his reply,

"Shouyou, hey. It's nice to hear from you. Why aren't you doing better in school? You know you can call me and I can try to help, although I'm pretty suckish at math and english. Volleyball has been amazing, I got into my school's volleyball club and so far it's been like how I expected it to be. Practice spikes, serves, flying falls, receives; the usual. I'm also keeping up on my art, and I'm in the art club at my school too. But it's hard to try and keep two clubs at once, it takes a toll on me after I'm finished. And I'm sorry to hear that you didn't make it into your volleyball club. Try again next year and I'm sure you'll make it if you try harder with your grades. I miss you. Text me back soon. I love you."

He clicked the send button and reached under his bed to grab the closest liquor bottle to him and popped the cap off, chugging a bit of it. Tobio leaned on his bed and buried his head into his arms, shaking his head. He needs to stop this. If not for him, if not for his mother or even his father, but for Shouyou. He expects so much of him, and Tobio feels like each time he takes a drink or smokes, that he's failing every one of his expectations that Shouyou set for Tobio.