CHAPTER 3

The day had gone surprising well, all things considered. Charlie had the weekend off and he, Edward and I spent the day fishing. With Alice's help, we prepared for the 'surprise' invite Charlie had been planning for days. I appreciated that he was trying to make an effort to learn to like his future son-in-law. And even though I hadn't gone fishing with Charlie since I was five, I wanted to spend some time bonding with him before the wedding.

To Charlie's surprise, but not to Edward's or mine, we hadn't caught anything the entire morning. Charlie groused the whole morning about how he'd never experienced a day without a single catch at his lucky fishing hole. Edward had already filled me in that the local fish population would probably shy away from his presence, even in the boat. I was impressed by the intuitiveness of fish. After lunch, I feigned sea sickness, which allowed Edward and I to stay on the shore. Charlie miraculously caught his fill alone in the boat. It was a win-win while Edward and I laid out lake-side enjoying each other's company.

We stopped at the diner on the way home. Edward made his food disappear from his plate seamlessly. Even when I paid attention, I couldn't figure out how he was doing it. He caught my extra looks and smiled at me, the picture of innocence. I made a mental note to ask about that trick. I was going to be like him soon, and if I had any chance of keeping Charlie in my life, I needed to learn how to appear human.

We arrived home to an already late evening. Edward drove away from my house, and I started the count down until he returned to slip silently into my bedroom. Tonight, we would start our desensitizing therapy. I was a ball of nervous energy. It was a good thing Charlie wasn't more observant, or he would have wondered what was wrong with me. I sat with Charlie without seeing the television, too caught up in my own thoughts. When he finally turned it off and headed upstairs, I rushed upstairs, careful not to trip, and headed into the shower. By the time I was finished, Charlie's snores floated softly down the hall.

I smiled, expecting Edward to be in my room before I was. He didn't disappoint.

I laughed when I saw him in his white tee shirt and cotton pajama bottoms. He smiled back in return and did a slow spin for me, fashion show style. I admired his well-shaped behind and broad shoulders. In my defense, I doubted anyone had ever looked better in sleep wear.

"Alice works fast," I said, impressed.

"She had a bit of a head start. She saw that I would ask her for help during our conversation yesterday."

"Oh. That's -" I was about to say 'convenient' until it dawned on me. Alice had undoubtedly seen more of our conversation that just Edward's desire for new pajamas. A blush flamed across my skin.

Edward gathered me into his arms, his chest cooling my over-heated cheeks. "I know it's embarrassing, but you'll have to get used to the dynamics of your new family. There's no privacy and no secrets. We all know embarrassing things about everyone else and we do our best to give each other space."

I nodded, trying to muster up an objective perspective.

"I'm afraid, I'm the worst offender. Unintentionally, of course."

"I know. It's just embarrassing. But at least you can't hear my embarrassing thoughts."

He frowned in disappointment. He probably wanted nothing more than to hear the crazy going on in my head. With an apologetic grin, I slipped into the bed. Edward lay on his side facing me, his head propped on his hand.

I suddenly felt very, very awkward. We both knew what we were about to do. "And I like your pajamas. In case I didn't say that earlier."

"Thank you." He smiled down at me and stroked my face with his fingertips. "I enjoyed our day together, in case I didn't say that earlier."

"Me too." We stared into each other's eyes for a while as he gently moved strands of stray hairs back into place. I tried to figure out a way to get our newest project started. 'Ready, Set, Go' seemed a bit awkward.

"Kiss me?" I finally asked him.

His eyes twinkled at my request. "With pleasure."

That's the idea, I thought just before his lips touched mine. His kiss was as soft and sensuous as ever. I melted into his familiar hold, blissfully happy. I wasn't sure how exactly to start escalating the situation into this desensitizing business. Again, Edward saved the day and took the initiative. His hand slid down my arm to rest on my hip, leaving a trail of electricity shooting through my body.

With the slightest of pressure at my hip, he turned me so I was facing him on my side. His hand slid around to the small of my back, abd he gently scooted his whole body closer to mine, until every part of our bodies touched. Of course, he moved toward me rather than the more natural motion of pulling me toward him. He treated me too fragilely.

I could feel his solid chest against mine and our stomachs and hips were touching. I slid my arm around his back to hold him to me.

"Is this all right?" he whispered.

Instead of answering, I slid my leg slightly between his. He hooked his foot around the back of my calf, completely our tangle quite nicely. I responded by pressing my body more firmly against him.

He moved his hand just a fraction lower on my back, sort of resting in the dip between my back and my butt. A jolt of excitement ran down my entire body. This was already so intense and we hadn't even really done anything. I tilted my head up to meet his lips and we kissed, holding each other tightly.

His lips were soft, but unyieldingly firm. We moved in unison, stroking and tasting each other. Soft kisses intermingled with deeper ones. He kept his teeth firmly away from my humanly fragile skin while our lips moved together.

I broke away from his mouth, and remembered that I needed to breathe. I felt almost smug in my Edward induced high. This was going great.

While I breathed, he kissed down my throat. His hands stroked tender paths along my back.

My fingers inched lower and toyed with the bottom of his shirt. I deliberately played there for a while as I worked up the courage to touch his skin directly. Inching my hand under his shirt, I stroked my fingers along the bare skin of his lower back. His flesh was cool to my touch, and so smooth it felt soft. Fascinated, I traced lazy patterns on his bare skin. I continued tickling as his lips my traversed my neck.

I wanted more. I shifted my body weight backwards, and tried to pull him on top of me.

He froze, and I feared he was about to disappear from my arms.

I froze in response, not sure what to do. I stopped trying to pull him on top of me, and waited to see if he would disappear. I kept my entire body still, waiting. When he didn't bolt, I carefully resumed stroking the skin of his back with my fingertips. I silently berated myself for pushing too fast.

After a moment of relaxed contact, he seemed to regain his control and brought his lips back to mine. Crisis averted.

He gently pressed me onto my back and lowered himself over me. I caught my breath in surprise. This was new. With his hands on either side of me, I could barely feel his weight at all.

We continued to kiss, building into a passionate rhythm. The gentle weight of his body on mine drove me to the brink of my control. His tongue teased softly against my lips and my self control flew out the window.

My hands abandoned their careful stroking and snaked into his silky hair, tangled into the bronze strands. The feel of it running between my fingers was amazing. With one hand firmly planted in his hair, I slid the other down to his scrumptious behind. I parted my lips so his tongue could wander deeper. I grabbed his shoulders and pulled him down on me. I needed more of his weight on top of me.

He pulled back, and I ran the tip of my tongue along his bottom lip. He tasted amazing. My body ached.

"Snickerdoodle," he whispered, urgently.

I froze and realized I had lost control of myself. I released my hold on him and he flopped onto his back next to me. "I'm so sorry, Edward." I rubbed my heels into my eyes. "Everything was going so well, and I just totally lost it. I didn't even think about what I was doing."

Edward was in control of himself - what was my problem?

He exhaled next to me. "Look at me, Bella."

He gently moved my hands away from my eyes. His eyes were golden and soft. "You are amazing. This is more than I ever dreamed I would have. This is exactly what the plan was, remember? Work at this until we hit a barrier. I was the one who panicked."

"Don't try and take the blame for that one. It was all me."

"Don't feel bad, I've heard that I dazzle people."

I snorted.

"We just need to practice at it," he concluded with a soft smile.

"I'm willing to put in the hours if you are." Practicing didn't sound so bad.

His eyebrow quirked up and he smiled. He kissed the tip of my nose and flopped back onto his back. His arms folded behind his head.

"I think it might help if I keep my hands out of your hair. It's so soft. And silky. I just lose control when I touch it."

"My hair is your problem?" He laughed. "I quite like the feeling of your hands in my hair, actually. But all right. No touching my hair. At least not until we can work on your ability to remain calm under pressure."

It was my turn to laugh. We were quite the pair. I relaxed, and stopped beating myself up over my loss of control. We were making progress. This was going to be okay. "Was it all right that I was touching your bare skin like that? It seemed like I surprised you at first."

"Mmm. That was better than okay." He rolled toward me and kissed me. "And you eased into it, so it wasn't a surprise. Honestly, it requires so much of my concentration to keep my teeth away from your skin while we're kissing. I was afraid that I would focus too much on how wonderful your touches felt and lose control some other way. But we managed, and it was wonderful. The bigger problem was when you tried pulling me on top of you."

"I'm sorry. I can't control myself sometimes," I apologized lamely.

"Don't be sorry. It was just a surprise. Yet another reason why it would be convenient to read your thoughts."

"Oh, no. You really don't want to hear the thoughts I'm having about you when we're making out. Definitely not PG."

He didn't answer, but his eyes did darken a shade. I felt my heart skip a beat in response.

He leaned in and captured my lips with his own. Soon enough I was feeling light headed and pulled away for oxygen.

"It's not fair to tease me with the idea of those kinds of thoughts running around in your head. You have no idea what that does to me."

"Sorry," I whispered.

"Would you please stop apologizing?" he teased.

"Well then I'm sorry I turned into Attack Bella earlier. I know I shouldn't push you. I know you're scared that you'll hurt me."

"I already told you, you are amazing. And sharing this with you is amazing. Please don't be sorry for being human and breakable. I'm the one who should be apologizing for the risk I bring into this relationship."

I knew he was mentally cataloguing all the horrible ways he could accidentally injure or kill me. He shook his head. "If anyone should apologize, it would be me. If I were a normal, human boyfriend, we wouldn't be having to work so hard at this." I took his hand into my own and kissed his palm. This was a conversation we had too many times to re-hash now. He sighed. "You are thoroughly distracting in an amazing and intensely human way. But, I think I can be better prepared for that next time, now that I know what to expect."

"The safe word helped," I said.

"It made me feel more secure, just knowing it was there," he agreed.

"And, I don't think you're as heavy as you think you are. You aren't going to smoosh me. I could barely feel your weight on me."

"Smoosh?" He laughed quietly. "That's not really a word."

I shook my head in disagreement. "I love you, Edward." I yawned, tired from a long day.

"And I, you. My Bella."

And with that happy thought, I drifted into dreams of kissing Edward.

AN: If you're about to scroll down and add this story to your favorites or your alerts, read this first! There's this nifty little white box above those alert buttons. All you do is write something nice in there and hit submit. It will send your nice thoughts and feedback over the interwebs to the author. And the author will be happy. It works, I promise :D