Authors Note: This is late. Very late and I apologize for that. There were some sick days, work, vacation, and much more to deal with in the past two weeks and they ate all my time up to the point where I've been writing most of this chapter from my phone, you've been warned. However we are finally getting out of the first arc within the next chapter or two so thats nice. I honestly am biting at the bit to do it, but there was so much to set up and foreshadow and plan for that so much of this needed to be here.

Either way I apologize for the lateness of this chapter.

In other news I'm also trying out a slightly different formatting style, less horizontal line breaks to try to make the story seem more fluid. Tell me what you think, if it works better or not, I'd love to hear it.

Also there will probably be another slightly longer break between chapters until the end of the month due to the fact that this weekend is my birthday, then we have other plans every weekend from here until I go back to school in August. So between those and my fulltime job I just dont have the time to sit at my computer and really pump out a chapter. However I'll still try to get things out regularly again, just don't hold your breath. At least I go back to school soon and then I'll actually be less busy then I am now, which is kind of sad that I'm more busy over "break" then at school.

Small A/N edit- 7/14/16: Thanks to theviwer that cleared up a bit of the clusterfuck that is canon for me. I dont have time to reread Naruto, but since this is a fanfic I can kind of fuck the canon anyways. But really thanks.

But I digress. Here is the sixth chapter, late as it is, for your reading enjoyment.

If you have a moment please shoot a reply, favorite, or follow. I love hearing from everyone and it makes my days.

I hope we can continue to enjoy this story together. Thank you.

The next weeks until Dad's departure were a crawl. After getting in trouble my lessons stopped as promised, and it wasn't just chakra training either, all my normal lessons stopped. Time that had been spent doing the chakra exercises and learning sealwork suddenly was changed to time spent at the park or helping my parents do chores around the house. Neither of these things were exactly punishments really, I did these things on a normal basis anyways and doing them more often wouldn't normally be a bad thing.

But it was the sudden lack of mental stimulation that started to grate on me. It was like my mind craved knowledge, something that was outside my current abilities to work on and improve. I had been so focused on getting better at things that suddenly doing nothing to train myself in some way, shape, or form was torture in its own special little way.

However as the week droned on nothing changed, and by the end of the month when Dad left again to go fight I was still being firmly punished for my actions. And things stayed that way. The rest of the year continued in a haze of mostly boredom with only slight perks here and there. Realizing that I could try to push myself to beat other kids in races around the park, that was fun until I could do it. Trying to get my calligraphy just right, time-consuming at worst but eventually I was able to do it. Soon I found myself grasping at straws for new things to learn and do. Getting Mom to teach me how to cook, wrestling with Itachi and other kids because why not, all of it just for the fact that it was better to do anything instead of laying around and waiting for the days to end.

Nothing though could replace the utter thrill of learning something that felt just outside my reach though. Something that actually took time and understanding instead of just drilling myself until I learned it. And so life became boring.

Until it stopped being boring in a way that nobody particularly wanted it to.

The war, while hanging over the village like a dark oppressive cloud, was pretty far off in most people's minds, at least so it seemed. We we're pretty deep inside the Fire Country after all, which meant that we had lots of miles of active ninja standing between us and anyone that might want to cause problems here. Considering that, from what I had picked up in the letters we occasionally got from Dad, things were going okay on the war front and so it wasn't really a thought that the war would ever really reach the walls.

Besides it's very human to just assume that bad things happen to other people, somewhere out there, and not to you or the ones you loved. When you haven't lost people yet, it's a very easy lie to tell youself.

And so, because the universe is cruel, the war came to our doorstep on a Tuesday afternoon in late December.

On my end it wasn't as terrifying as it could've been. I was helping mom deshell shrimp for dinner when off in the distance there was a single cracking noise off in the distance. Mom paused and looked up before her brow furrowed as the singular noise became two. Then three. After that the counting was lost on me as the number just increased from there and Mom went rigid before rushing to the window and looking out it, her eyes growing wide.

I stared at her for a moment before leaning to try to see out of it too, wondering what that was all about. Smoke was starting to fill the sky, far off, far enough to be the otherside of town. My mind first jumped to the obvious there was a fire. Simple. But then I realized what those noises actually were.

Explosions. Things were exploding on the other side of town.

Other people must of realized what was going on because the people that were in the street who had stopped to gawk at the sight suddenly paled.

"Mom..?" I started to form a question without really even knowing what to say. What do you even say?

She snapped out of whatever she was thinking and looked over at me, face settling into that oddly serious expression she normally never wore.

"Kaminari," She said, the use of my full name getting my immediate attention because that meant things were bad. I couldn't be getting in any trouble so something must be seriously wrong.

"I want you to go to my room and lock the door and stay in there until I come back."

I glanced between her and the window before slowly nodding, ignoring the nerves forming in my gut.

"O..Okay Mom" I verbally replied before moving to give her a quick hug and then heading upstairs to my parents room. I heard my Mom quickly leave behind me and suddenly I was alone. I locked the door like I said I would once I got inside the room and I immediately moved to one of the windows to try and see what was going on.

Of course it was far enough away that I could only see smoke and licks of fire near the wall of the village, but close enough to probably be well inside. I tried to make a mental map to figure out where exactly that was and what was in that section but found myself coming up with a hazy idea.

Stores, maybe some houses too, but maybe not. Not like I would find out until Mom got home.

I sighed and went to lay on my parents bed, accepting the fact that I just had to wait until she got so I spent the next few hours dozing off to the sound of explosions on the other end of the village.

Mom eventually came back looking tired and covered in soot and ash. I hugged her anyways and she hugged me tightly back. We ended up just having some leftovers for dinner and I ended up sleeping with her that night. And that was that.

With the West end of the village in shambles. Apparently Iwagakure ninja managed slip through a grate in the western wall where the forest reaches its edge and started destroying everything they could find as soon as they hit civilization. The main area that was hit was a large residential section and a shopping district, both of which were, thankfully, populated heavily by shinobi rather than civilians so while there were a high number of casualties the attack was fairly well contained in that area. However it did manage to bleed out into a section of the Uchiha district, or so explained Mikoto as she sat across from Mom at our kitchen table, nursing a cup of tea in her hands with a frown.

Mom nodded with a frown in understanding and gently reached across and put her hand on Mikotos.

"I can come help with the recovery if you want" she softly offered and Mikoto shook her head.

"It's alright Kushina. I just wanted to let you know I was okay and I was wondering if you could look after Itachi while we clear out most the rubble." She said and allowed a small smile.

Kushina sighed and nodded,

"Of course I will, kids shouldn't have to see that."

Judging by the look on Itachi's face, I hazard to guess that he had in fact seen it already. And if Moms expression and curt nod were anything to go by she noticed too. I frowned slightly and shifted in my seat as the table lapsed into silence, a dark mood hanging in the air.

Mikoto finished her tea then and sighed before getting up, giving Itachi a short tight hug and whispering something in his ear before moving to leave, Mom following her to the door to say good bye. Itachi stared at the floor silently in front of me, and after a moment of no acknowledgement I walked over and tugged on his sleeve.

"Hey," I softly said, trying to get his attention, "let's go get the ink and draw or something."

Itachi gave a small shrug and I took that as enough of a yes to lightly tug him along to get the ink, paper and brushes out. I quietly set up everything in the livingroom and the only sound that broke the silence between us while we started was the sounds of our brushed on paper. I didn't want to press Itachi about what he had seen, I wasn't sure if he'd even say what he saw. So I waited for him to bring it up, and after what seemed like hours his soft voice finally spoke up across from me.

"Kaminari-chan… What's the meaning of it?" His voice quieter than usual as he spoke, not looking up from his paper. Finishing the stroke I was making I looked up at him.

"It?"

"What's the meaning of life?" He explained, still not looking at me, continuing on when I didn't immediately answer, "All people do is just… They kill each other and for what? It's… I don't understand it…"

(Dead eyes stared back at me as the life seeped out- what's the point- metal in my hands as the bodies dropped one after another- a barrel in my face and the twitching fingers that promised to end it- nothing- nothing- nothing-

No. No there's more. Clarity and warmth clouded and there were arms around me and- soft voices- comfort in the movement of bodies- in the way the world turned- in the wind during the day- everything- everything- everything-)

The silence between us was deafening as I allowed myself to be pulled into my thoughts for a moment before slowly speaking my conclusion.

"I don't think… There is a point…" I said, because the world was cruel and cold and it doesn't care. There was nothing.

Itachi looked up at me, unreadable expression and I spoke again before he could respond.

"But why does there need to be one?" I asked, letting the faint buzz of thoughts and visions not my own run through me, "I think that… What's important is that.. We try to just be the best people we can be."

Itachi stares at me and in that moment he looked so young in my eyes. He was a child and I felt like a million years had passed in a moment.

"But if there's no point why does it matter?" Itachi quietly asked and something in me wanted to scream. He was a child. Children shouldn't have to think about this.

"It doesn't. But whether or not there's a reason- simply making the world a better place is good right?" I pointed out because it made sense to me, "We live here, the people we care about live here. Isn't that enough of a reason to try to protect it and make things better?"

Silence filled the room between us as Itachi looked away to think. After a long pause he slowly responded.

"I… Yes… It is.."

I smiled slightly at him before patting his arm lightly and got a small smile back for my trouble. So I counted it as a win in my book and tried to ignore the fact that his eyes still held the deadened look in them still. There are some things after all that you can't just fix, and so I left it at that.

After that Mom picked up training me again regularly. I bit back any questions on why the sudden change of heart, mostly because I had a feeling it's because she was afraid that I'd be defenseless if more enemies got into the village.

Sealwork was usually overlooked however with regular physical training sessions, mostly having to do with me running laps and Mom making me learn how to properly dodge.

I asked why she didn't just teach me how to fight and she grinned slightly at me.

"Kami-chan, do you know what the best defence you can have on the battlefield is?" She asked back and her grin grew coy when I shook my head at her, "its to just not be there. So by extension the best thing you can do is just not be hit. As soon as you are, it could all be over, dattebane"

This advice made sense.

If you can't get hit in the first place, then you won't be hurt or injured or killed. And if you were fast enough to not get hit, you'd probably be fast enough to strike back against someone. Speed was the key, even in other situations. Typically fights lasted only a short period of time, if you could hit before anyone even noticed you're there, that's the greatest advantage, and it's more likely to be when you're fast then when you're slow.

So I took her words to heart and threw myself into the physical training she provided.

After a few weeks of struggling I slowly found myself enjoying the physicality of the work. Sealwork was interesting, sure, but it was tedious and meticulous. The theory was interesting but looking at the longer seals Mom or Dad had made just made me feel antsy about sitting around and doing that.

Chakra was also interesting, the way it moved and flowed around inside people and objects. Feeling it was wondrous, and molding it even more so. Still, at least at the stage I was at, it wasn't tangible. Sure I could stick to things now, and later I would be able to maybe shoot fireballs like Obi-nii or slash with the wind like Dad knew how to do but until then it was just in the background. It was forgettable if I wasn't paying direct attention to it.

Physical conditioning however, I could feel the results. I could see them and have physical measures of my improvement. I felt the burn in my legs and arms from the work, and everyday I could sprint further, I could move faster. It was tangible and I flourished under learning something so easy to see. It felt right, it felt natural.

And best of all Mom was ecstatic about my apparent aptitude and love of the physical work. One of the great joys in my life soon became the look of pride she'd get on her face whenever I showed improvement. Id never forget it.

The end of December also brought home Dad and everyone. Thankfully since he was a jounin instructor and some of his students were still operating as a genin cell they were allowed their home leave from the front lines during the holidays. Most people had to fight through them,

War doesn't stop for such trivial things. Either way though I counted my blessings that they were home and safe again, if only for awhile.

Dad slept a lot those first few days and everyone hung around the house a lot more. They Were weary and tired eyed, so everything was calm as the days slowly slipped peacefully by and we neared the new year.

Dad started training me again in chakra and happily helping my physical conditioning. On the latter part he even managed to rope my sort-of-siblings into it. Kaka-nii never really seemed to enjoy participating, but Rin-nee and Obi-nii were more fun to work with anyways since they'd actually occasionally let me win despite being faster than me.

Everything was right with the world and as the year ended I couldn't help but feel a bit melancholy about the knowledge that soon it'd have to stop again. So it was on new years, sitting on Dads shoulders watching the fireworks, that I found myself praying to all the gods that could be out there that these days would be able to stay this way forever.

-Voices grasping at the edges of my brain- wishing- hoping- freedomdeathlifeanythingnotthis. Not. This. Anything but this anymore-

Something told me the gods weren't listening that day.

Itachi and I layed on on the grass in his backyard after running around for the past couple hours. He started physical training too so it only seemed right for the two of us to work on it together whenever we saw each other. And thankfully with the cooler January air the two of us could go on for quite some time without getting gross and sweaty.

Well I didn't mind getting gross and sweaty. Itachi didn't really find the appeal in it, not that he complained but as soon as a bead of sweat rolled down his face he decided a break was in order.

He had been a lot more quiet in the past months after the west side of the village got blown up. I tried not to be bothered by it, I mean it must of been terrifying and he was clearly freaked out by it after, but still I worried.

I snapped back into the world when I realize that I hadn't been paying attention when he started talking.

"Sorry, what?" I said sheepishly, turning my head to look at him and was only met with a blank look followed by an eyeroll as he looked back up at the sky.

"My Mom's pregnant." He quietly resaid and I paused, searching his face on whether or not he was happy about this. I got nothing except

-Black spiky hair and dark eyes- waiting for big brother to come home- teasing but loving in a way only familys know- bloodpainbodieseverywherewhywhywhywhy-

I forced that into the back of my head and compartmentalized it like all the other tomes that happened. I dully noted that those were becoming more frequent again but focused on responding instead of contemplating that.

"Thats.. Nice?" I asked more then said, and after a moment of silence continued, "Are you excited to be a big brother or…?"

I trailed off as Itachi got a small, soft smile on his face.

"I'm.. I'm really excited." He shifted a bit as he said this, looking happier than he'd been in months, "It's kind of… Scary…. But I'm excited."

I couldn't help a small grin come onto my face at this and lightly bumped him with my arm.

"Scary huh? Worried you're gonna be a bad big brother?"

Itachi quietly nodded and I smiled

"Im sure you'll do a good job. They're going to be lucky to have you." I reassured and Itachi looked at me again this time with a small smile.

"Thanks Kaminari-chan."

I shrugged before sitting up and stretching,

"No problem. Now how about we do a round two?"

Itachi's smile fell off his face and I laughed at the glare he leveled at me.

Dad was braiding my hair before I went to sleep while Mom read to me. Oddly enough Dad was better at doing my hair then mom was, something she pouted about occasionally and liked to tease him about. I leaned back against him as he finished and he lightly hugged me as Mom finished tonight's story.

"Hey Mom?" I asked as she put aside the book she had finished, "Did you know Mikoto-san is pregnant?"

Mom raised an eyebrow before smiling

"I did know. Did Itachi-chan tell you?"

I nodded and was quiet for a moment before looking up between Mom and Dad.

"Will I get a little brother or sister too?" I asked curiously, because something nagged in the back of my head

-blonde with bright blue eyes- moms grin and the same bright sunshine feel-

Yes. That one. A little blip I got after my day with Itachi that had for some reason refused to go back into the mental box I kept all the other weird intrusive thoughts in. It felt important. Really important.

Mom gaped at me in response, wide eyed and I could feel Dad stiffen behind me. It was silent before I felt dad shaking followed by quiet bit back laughter and Mom glared at him, any heat in that was lost however by her face flushing as red as her hair.

"Don't laugh at that! Minato!" She scolded, though it sounded more like a plea then anything and Dad laughed harder.

"Aw but Kushina! She just wants a little brother!" He managed to get out between his laughs

"Or a little sister. I'm not picky." I smiled sweetly at Mom as I stated this and Dad laughed even harder.

I didn't think Mom could blush any harder but she quickly proved me wrong by turning an almost beet red color. She quickly stood and headed to the door.

"Thats enough for tonight! Goodnight!" She managed to get out before leaving. I burst into giggles as soon as she closed the door behind her and Dad was still chuckling against my back.

"So was that a yes or a no?" I asked Dad, looking at him over my shoulder.

"I think that was a maybe…" He said back, a slight grin on his face as he kissed my forehead and moved out from behind me, "Until then get some rest."

"Fine... You're leaving tomorrow again right?" I asked, shifting a bit and staring up at him. Dads smile faltered and he let out an inaudible sigh.

"Yes." He paused for a moment before continuing," I hope it won't be for as long as this last time though." He forced a bit of a smile at that.

I nodded and layed down.

"It's okay Dad. Just come home safe."

That got a chuckle out of him and he smiles softly at me.

"I'll make sure of it. Now get some sleep."

"Alright, night Dad, I love you"

"I love you too Kaminari, have sweet dreams."

He kissed my head again before leaving and I cuddled down into my bed. Intent on getting some sleep.

I didn't get any.

Flashes of moments, nightmares plagued me all night.

-Explosions lighting up the inside of rock and stone- the sound of steel clashing against steel- the yells of pain the gash of an eye- time running too short too fast- crushing weight laying over on the body and the creaking of what had been bones-pain-so much pain of all types-

It ate at me all night. They swam in my head until the sun began to rise and I quickly slipped out of my bed and walked to the front room where I found Mom and Dad talking quietly near the door.

They pauses and looked over when they heard the creaking floorboards under me.

"Kami-chan, what are you doing up?" Mom asked, somewhat worried as I walked over.

"I couldn't sleep… I.. I had a bad dream." I explained as I got close enough to clutch at Dads haori.

Dad frowned and put his hand on my head, softly stroking my hair.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Yes. I did. I wanted to tell them. I wanted to explain the things I've been seeing and how they are becoming unignorable and how they could be so, so horrible. I wanted to say something, anything.

I shook my head and held onto his jacket tighter.

"Can… I want to see you and.. And everyone off.. Please" I struggled through the words, my brain muddled and heavy.

Mom smiled softly "Of course you can. Let's go get you dressed real quick okay?" She offered, moving to take my hand and softly tugging me towards my room again. I unhappily let go of Dad and let her lead me to my room and get me dressed. Within minutes we were back down the stairs and out onto the streets, me holding both Mom and Dad's hands and unwilling to let go until I absolutely had to.

And I did have to. At the gate I only let their hands slip out of mine to quietly move over to my siblings and pulling them into a tight hug.

"Kami-chan what are you doing here?" Rin-nee asked, hugging me tightly back. I didn't answer, only pulling all them closer as much as I could, as if having them alive and breathing in front of my would settle the deep cold fear in my gut.

"She had a nightmare so she wanted to see everyone before we left" Dad explained behind me and I felt Obi-nii shift a bit in my grasp to also hug me.

"Aw Kami-chan are you worried about us?" He asked in a teasing tone. It didn't help, this wasn't helping. If anything having them here in front of me was just setting off more warning bells yelling at me to make them stay. Make them stay.

As if I had a choice or even a say in the matter.

I just nodded and Obi-nii fell quiet for a moment before oddly enough I felt a hand on my head and I looked up to see it attached to Kaka-nii.

"We'll be back." He stated as if it was a fact. As if he believed it in every fiber of his being.

Rin-nee smiled at Kaka-nii for a moment before looking at me and it softened.

"Yeah, we'll be home again soon and then you'll have to show us all the cool new stuff you learned right?"

I swallowed and I felt wetness fill my eyes because it just felt wrong. It didn't feel okay despite their words.

"O..okay." I managed to croak out before burying my head between them for another second before pulling away.

"No,no, no. Stop crying. We're coming back and it's going to be fine- you don't need to cry." Obi-nii stammered a bit, trying to make me feel better with a concerned look and I nodded.

"Sorry- I know. I… Just… You all better come home safe!" I managed to get out, biting my lip to try to hold back more tears.

Obi-nii smiled at me

"We promise to come back safe."

"Well you do at least." Kaka-nii quipped back and Obi-nii glared at him causing Rin-nee to sigh and roll her eyes. Dad chuckles and stepped forward, scooping me up into a tight hug before setting me down.

"And now I think we should leave before we all just end up bickering at the gates." He said, shooting a light glare at his students and then smiling at me.

"We'll be home before you know it. So you need to stay safe too. And keep your Mother out of trouble right?" He lightly joked and I let out a noise that was somewhere between a sad mix of a giggle and me holding back from crying more.

"Minato…" Mom said exasperatedly, crossing her arms but smiling all the same.

Dad grinned at her before stepping out if the gate, the other three following him. And a moment later they were gone.

Mom and I stood there quietly for a moment before she walked over and picked me up.

"So do you want to go back to sleep or maybe go out for breakfast?" She gently asked me, holding me on her hip.

I leaned my head again her shoulder quietly.

"Ramen?" I offered after a minute and I felt Mom smile.

"Sounds good to me." She said as we headed off into the early day.

Not knowing what was to come.