Author's Note: Holy shit its been over a month and I am so sorry. It's been crazy over here to say the least. Birthdays, weddings, baby showers, hospitalizations, moves. I've basically been close to every big event someone experiences besides a family member dying within the past month, and to top it off school started so I've been busy now with that too.

Needless to say, it's been an experience.

But either way I've been writing this on and off for the past month and while I didn't get through EVERYTHING I wanted to cover I got most of it done, and this is so damn late I wanted to get something out before the month ended. I'm not sure if I'll be able to go back to the weekly update for the time being however, mostly do to school and the fact that I have another ton of family stuff coming up that I'll have to deal with. But I will try to at least update every other week. That's the current goal.

Either way thank you for your patience! I hope you enjoy, I'm excited that we are over 150 followers and almost at 100 likes. Its pretty amazing, I love seeing everyone enjoying the fic and, as always, I love hearing from you all so replies are always cherished.

I hope we continue to enjoy this ride together!

We heard very little for a month. Most of that was spent with Itachi who had started learning his family taijutsu seriously as of late. He was supposed to join the academy this coming August, and considering his skill level I didn't doubt that he'd be able to get in. And therefore I had made it my own personal goal to keep up with him, best friends had to stick together and all that.

Asking Mom if I could join the academy too was the easy part, every ninja family after all just kind of expects their kid to follow in their footsteps of bloody footsteps. It came with the territory. The training itself however quickly ramped up in difficulty.

Laps around the yard turned into jogs around the neighborhood that kept expanding further and further from home. Chakra training slowly shifted from control exercises to other applications. Mostly it was still just learning to flood my body with chakra to reduce pain after runs or learning to put a little extra chakra into my legs or fists to be able to run faster, or be less likely to break my hand when punching.

It was all useful, perhaps not now but I knew from what Mom told me it would be in the future. And I held her to that.

On the other plus side the training helped keep at bay the nightmares of explosions and rocks that haunted my sleep. It was hard to just not pass out after a hard day of training, and that made it more bearable.

Things changed though just a week into February.

Mom had been feeling a bit under the weather all morning but insisted we go for our morning jog anyways. I didn't complain or protest, and so we left. Within an hour we has slowed to less than half our normal pace and Mom eventually had to stop to go upchuck in some bushes on the side of the path we were on.

She came back haggard and lightly said that we we're going to cut training short for the day.

The next few days involved on-and-off sicknesses that would usually only last a few minutes but would sometimes hang onto her for what felt like hours. Eventually we just went to the doctor to try to find the cause.

"Im pregnant?" Mom asked, wide eyed and clearly shocked as she sat in front of the smiling doctor.

"Yes, I'm surprised you hadn't noticed considering you're a couple months along."

Mom touched her belly absentmindedly and looked slightly embarrassed.

"I guess I was just too busy to notice" she excused and the doctor just smiled before handing Mom a bottle of pills.

"Well you better take notice now, not like you didn't know that." They said as they winked at me and I held onto Moms dress a bit tighter.

"These are your prenatal vitamins, I'd suggest taking them before bed so you won't have to worry about getting nauseous after"

Mom nodded and took them and after a few forms were filled out and an appointment was set up for another few weeks Mom and I had left the hospital.

As we walked hand in hand I looked up at Mom.

"I was joking when I said I wanted a little sibling Mom." I stated

Mom chuckles for a moment, looking oddly happy since leaving the hospital,

"Well would it still be okay if you had one? Because I think it'd be nice." She said, parting her stomach for a moment before smiling softly at me,

"Besides, you'll make a great big sister."

-Brown eyes, blue eyes, stare up at me with toothy grins like sunlight- crying coming home from school because of bullies and ice cream to make the pain go away- the fists thrown to protect- sister- brother- blue and brown-

I blinked before smiling slightly and squeezing her hand,

"Yes," I softly responded, "I think I'll like it."

.

A shinobi was at our door with a letter, Mom took it and thanked him, relaxing as she saw who it was from before taking me and heading to the living room couch to read it. This was the usual whenever Dad managed to get something sent home from the front lines, they were few and far between so each time Mom and I would sit down and read it together. As of late Dad would even sometimes write a little letter just for me, sometimes with little seals scrawled onto the bottom for me to figure out. I enjoyed those.

Mom opened it and smiled slightly as she handed me the one with my name on it and I happily took it, opening it.

It was a bit different from usual though. The common jokes and interesting facts about where Dad and the others had been weren't inside this letter. Instead it was just a simple, short one talking about how they would be home within the next week or two, and how he wishes circumstances were better.

I stared, confused by this but a low feeling of dread pooled in the bottom of my stomach.

I looked up at Mom to ask what the main letter said and paused, taking in her sudden stillness and palor. It wasn't like her, that wasn't a good reaction to a letter. Something was really wrong.

"Mom..?" I asked hesitantly, a question never finding its way fully out of my mouth as Mom quickly turned to me. She stared at me a moment before sniffling and setting aside the paper, opting to pull me into a tight hug. I slowly hugged her back as my Mom's eyes watered.

"Mom?" I tried again, "What's wrong?"

Mom sniffed and wiped her eyes before frowning.

"Oh Kaminari," she said, her voice cracking a bit under her clear pain, "It's about Obito.."

I froze up a bit because no… There was no way..

"He was on an important mission-"

No. It couldn't of happened. That couldn't just happen-

"Got injured at they couldn't-"

They weren't real! None of that was real and yet-

"I'm so sorry Kaminari-"

It was real. I knew it was going to happen and I didn't stop it. I knew and I said nothing.

It's my fault.

"-you okay?"

-Screaming and the iron scent filling the air as-

"Kaminari?"

-Rocks crush and bones break but then there were tens and thousands of eyes watching. Watching. Watching-

"Kami-"

-It was all our fault.

I didn't notice when I had started sobbing, but suddenly I was aware of the arms tight around me and the way that every shuddering breath hurt. I clung to Mom and let out wrecked sobs as she tried to comfort and calm me.

But how could she? She didn't even know that I knew this would happen. I saw it happen- I don't know how- but I did. And I got scared and said nothing and now….

My weight against Mom, all I felt in that moment was a sensation of being lost along with a large part of guilt eating away at me.

I had known and I had let it happen.

I don't know how I was supposed to deal with this. It was too much too fast.

So I leaned into Mom more, taking a small solace in her arms.

.

I spent the next week feeling like I was in a haze. After the grief and the guilt I settled into a cold numbness that caused everything to be muted and soft. I still was having a hard time processing what happened, it just didn't seem real. When I was by myself working on learning a seal or running through what little taijutsu I was picking up, it was almost like everything was okay in those moments. That everyone would come home safe and sound like normal, because people close to you never get hurt. That only happens to other people.

Shock.

I was in shock.

And in the back of my brain I knew it, just like how I knew that Obi-nii wasn't coming back and just like how I knew things I shouldn't.

I saw things I shouldn't.

And I was scared.

And the worst part is I suddenly felt like one of the only ones because apparently suddenly the tone of the war had changed. Some important bridge, Kanabi, my brain reminded me, had been destroyed and things were looking good for us.

People were starting to predict it was going to end, at least on that front, soon.

Because of a bridge that happened to get Obi-nii killed.

I tried not to be bitter.

I was bitter.

Dad did at least manage to get home within the week, followed by Kaka-nii and Rin-nee. The three of them sullen, No tears but they all looked like they hadn't slept in days. They probably hadn't. Obi-niis goggles hung loosely around Rin-nees neck, a memento she kept gently touching occasionally like it'd bring him back. Kaka-nii had a scar, most of it was covered by his hitai-ate but he must of taken a hard hit there. Faintly I wondered what had happened to his eye, it must of gotten hurt. I didn't ask.

Mom pulled each of them into a tight hug and I did the same. Rin-nee managed to get off with watery eyes at the worst, Dad managed a small smile for Mom and I, and Kaka-nii..

I don't think I'd ever seen him actually hug back before.

Nothing really got better between then and the official funeral either. And it didn't seem like anything would change after it either.

It was a warm, sunny day that made me hate the sky. It didn't feel right to have a funeral on a nice day, but nature had never really cares about who lived or died anyways.

So it was on this beautiful day that Obi-niis name was carved into the memorial stone near the third training ground. A section of it wasn't even spent in mourning. Anyone could've felt the tension in the air and seen the occasional, judgemental look that the group of Uchiha who showed up occasionally gave to Kaka-nii.

It seemed wrong at a funeral, whatever it was for could surely wait until the mourning period was up before things broke down even further.

I squeezed Dads hand a bit tighter and leaned against his leg.

He squeezed my hand back.

I tried to remind myself that things always get worse before they get better. That life was a cycle and these things happened.

It didn't help the pain I felt deep in my chest.

And it didn't stop the dreams I had of a man in an orange mask either.

.

Things started to change after another few weeks. Dad and everyone had them back in the village as things finally started settling down. Iwagakure for the most part seemed to pull back, and the people were ecstatic. More shinobi were able to come home, and things in the village seemed to slowly fall into a more joyous atmosphere.

We all seemed to start to get better as well. The hazey shock finally started to wear off as Mom and Dad took me out more, Dad started to smile more again, along with Rin-nee whenever I managed to see her- though she had taken up working at the hospital in her new amount of spare time. Things started to fall back into place, missing a few pieces but mostly whole.

Kaka-nii I think changed the most. Before he had just been serious but as of late he had just managed to look somber. Obi-niis death seemed to have just taken a lot out of him, and whatever was now missing wasn't healing easy. But we tried to ease it a bit, and so Kaka-nii usually stayed around our family in those weeks.

My training quickly ramped up as everyone started to swing back as well. In the morning Dad, Mom, and Kaka-nii would take me out to train. Each day started with taijutsu, something I still loved and thrives in, followed by weapon throwing. Sadly throwing shuriken didn't come as naturally to me as I wanted it to, kuni were easier to use but weren't quite a subtle, and in the end I'd have to learn both anyways. But after that bout of training we'd go get lunch and run any errands for the day before Dad would take me out and continue my chakra training and even started to help me learn my first ninjutsu- the replacement technique.

It was easy to fall into the routine, and it made things seem almost normal.

Kaka-nii quickly became my favorite taijutsu teacher, not so much of this skill, but because of his height. I was significantly smaller than him still but he hadn't hit his growth spurt yet, he was still a solid inch shorter then Rin-nee. It was easier to aim at his stomach rather than dads legs though.

Though he always managed to catch anything I threw at him.

Kaka-nii didn't even hesitate as he easily grabbed my leg I had been aiming for his midsection and tossed me to the side. An undignified noise managed to leave me as I tumbled backwards across the ground and quickly tried to regain my balance.

I wasn't surprised I didn't hit him, he was leagues above me after all. But still I absolutely hated loosing. So managing to roll back onto my feet I darted forward at him again, attempting to sipe low to knock him off his feet. Kaka-nii easily jumped over me, but I had at least expected him to do that much so I quickly threw my weight onto my hands and used the momentum of the swipe to attempt to mule kick him out of the air.

Kaka-nii grabbed my leg again and moved to yank me into another throw, my brain surged with ideas on what I could do.

But the issue with this knowledge was two things. I didn't have time to think during thins, and often my ideas seemed to be a mix of things well suited for my body and some things that would be borderline impossible to do with my meager height and weight.

So when my brain latched onto the idea that I should throw all my energy into throwing my weight foreword in an attempt to toss Kaka-nii over my head- I didn't really think about my body's logistics in that.

So I yanked foreword, and Kaka-nii yanked back, and I quickly learned that Kaka-nii was significantly stronger than me. With what was almost a popping noise and a sudden blast of pain lancing up my leg, I was easily thrown across the ground with a loud yelp.

I stared at my leg for a long moment, it was throbbing a bit in pain and I looked up in slight shock at Kaka-nii who had noticed my sudden pause in action. He raises an eyebrow at me,

"What?" He asked, sounding bored but I heard a very small note of concern in the back of it.

"I… I think I sprained my leg- or something." I finished lamely as I tried to move the offending body part and only got back another shot of pain. I bit back another small noise as Kaka-nii quickly came over and started looking at it.

"Can you move it?" He asked, hands hovering slightly away from me.

"Yeah but it really hurts and my Knees only moving side to side- I can't straighten it." I said as I carefully rolled up my pant to check it out. A small bubble of nausea filled my throat at the sight of my slightly off skew and I swallowed it down.

Kaka-nii pauses before moving to gently pick me up,

"Come on, it looks dislocated. Rin can probably take care of it."

I managed to hold back my wince as I was scooped up into his arms.

"Wow my first training injury- I'm growing up so fast." I bemused out loud and Kaka-nii let out a small snort as he easily started to flicker towards the hospital. It didn't help the nauseous feeling.

"I don't think that an injury should be counted as a milestone." He pointed out back as we reached the front doors and walked inside.

The lady at the counter looked up before audibly sighing,

"Hatake-san what brings you here today?"

"Nohara-san."

"Third floor doing her rounds."

Kaka-nii gave her a nod before heading towards the stairs. I felt a bit bad for the woman though, seemed to be having a long day. So when we walked by I shot her the prettiest smile I could muster and gave her a wave. Blinking she smiled softly and waves back. Satisfied I looked back foreword as we headed upstairs to find Rin-nee.

It didn't take long. Kaka-nii and I had searched out for Rin-nee before while she was on shift and this time was no different. Thankfully this time she wasn't in the middle of healing anyone and instead was just wrapping bandages, looking up when she felt us approach and smiling slightly.

"Hey you two, what are you doing here today?"

"I hurt my leg." I replied bluntly as Kaka-nii gently set me down next to the pile of bandages.

"She dislocated her knee." He elaborated somewhat stiffly as Rin-nee shot his a somewhat disapproving look before carefully checking my knee over.

"I told you, you throw her too hard Kakashi-kun." She scolded as she worked and Kaka-nii shifted a bit where he stood.

"She never got hurt before." He said, a bit weaker then normal and I decided to back him up.

"Don't worry Rin-nee- you guys sometimes get hurt training too. It just happens."

Rin-nee shot me a look before sighing and ruffling my hair.

"You're just a kid, you can get all banged up training when you're older."

I pouted a bit at her and she rolled her eyes before smiling.

"That's not going to work on me unlike some people who we won't mention. Now let's fix your leg up. This might hurt for a moment but then it should feel better."

And with that Rin-nees hands started glowing a soft green as she moves to start healing my knee. When she first touched it I cringed a bit from the spike of pain, but after that it stopped hurting. It just started to feel.. Weird. Like something was being sucked into a straw- but in this case the straw was my leg.

Rin-nee suddenly stopped and pulled away, causing the feeling to suddenly stop. She looked down at my knee before trying again. The same feeling came back and Rin-nee looked baffled. A bit wide eyed she pulled her hands away again and stared between them and my still hurt knee.

"I don't think that worked Rin-nee." I said, wincing as I tried to move my leg again unsuccessfully.

Kaka-nii glanced over at Rin-nee,

"Whats wrong?"

"I…." She trailed off, blinking and looking deep in thought before standing, "stay right here for a moment okay? I'll be right back." She said before rushing off down the hall.

Kaka-nii and I glanced at each other, and I wonder if he felt as confused as I did. Rin-nee never had that reaction when healing someone before, but really it didn't even feel like anything was healed.

After a few moments Rin-nee came back tailed by a nice looking older woman who looked me over a bit concerned.

"You couldn't heal her leg?" She asked, looking at Rin-nee and sounding a bit mistified.

Rin-nee shook her head and slowly responded,

"It felt like I was getting some kind of interference… Like my chakra was just being… Eaten."

The woman hummed and looked me over one more time before leaning over and attempting to do what Rin-nee apparently couldn't not.

The feeling came back as soon as the woman's chakra touched my body, and with it the woman's face morphed into one of shock. It didn't last long though before she glares a bit at my leg and suddenly I felt a much stronger straw-sucking feeling than before. I let out a small gasp when I felt it and for a moment I felt like I was too big for my skin and my head was miles away.

"Does this hurt at all?" Rin-nee asked worriedly, looking me up and down with a tight frown.

I shook my head and slowly tried to find the words to respond.

"No, its like… Its just weird- like a…. Like a sucking feeling."

"A sucking feeling?" She responded, worry melting away to confusion.

"Yeah," I said, "like… It feels like water going into a drain… Or.. Or like something coming through a straw." I managed to explain as I Slowly started to feel my knee move under the flesh as the woman increased the sucking feeling more, sweat dotting her brow.

After that it only took a moment before my knee seemed to softly click back into place with next to no pain. The woman then suddenly stopped all chakra going to my leg and pulled back with a sharp exhale, like she'd been holding her breath the whole time.

She looked strangely between my knee and my face, breathing slightly heavier than before before looking over at Rin-nee.

"Who is this child?" She asked and Rin-nee blinked before quickly responding.

"She's my Sensei's daughter."

"Go get him." The woman said, regaining her composure a bit.

Rin-nee bit her lip for a moment before glancing at Kaka-nii nervously who went a bit paler than normal and then disappeared without a word.

"He'll be here in a moment." Rin-nee said, watching me as I kicked my now fixed leg.

I didn't really understand why everyone was acting so concerned. My leg felt fine now, the reason to fuss was over. I rolled back down my pant leg as we waited.

"Kami-chan are you sure you don't feel any pain anymore?" Rin-nee gently asked me as I finished unrolling it. I looked up at her and shook my head.

"No, it feels fine now." I said and gave her a smile to try to ease her worries.

She did seem to loose a bit of tension and managed a small smile back before in a flash of motion Kaka-nii was back and Dad was with him. I gave him a bright smile.

"Dad! I had my first training accident!" I said happily and Dad's face melted from one of severe concern to a soft smile.

"Oh did you now? I told you to try to be more careful, you're too rambunctious." He said as he ruffles my hair and I couldn't help but grin.

Once he was done the serious look was back as soon as he looked up at the doctor woman.

"What's the problem?" He asked, tone short but clearly with a worried undertone.

The woman looked at him and simply stated,

"I think there's something wrong with your daughters chakra system."

A pause, and everyone was silent for a moment. Everyone looked about as confused as I suddenly felt, so I took that as a somewhat good sign.

"What do you think is wrong with it?" Dad asked as soon as he found his voice again and the woman frowned.

"Her body was eating my chakra. When Nohara-san tried the first time he came and got me because she couldn't do it. Thought your daughter's body was simply rejecting the chakra we here trying to put into it. But when I tried I realized that isn't the case- she body simply… Takes it- but then it's gone." The doctor finished quietly, sounding a bit strange in the silence of the hall.

"Hows that possible?" Rin-nee asked, wide eyed, "I mean chakra doesn't just disappear."

The woman shook her head, "maybe it is going somewhere else, I don't know. We'd have to test that to find out… But from what I can tell just from managing to heal her leg, which took significantly more chakra then I've ever had to use to heal this kind of injury before, her body just takes the chakra and then its.. Gone…"

Everyone was silent. I kicked my feet and looked between them.

"But…" I quietly said, "I can use chakra- so that doesn't make sense?"

Dad looked puzzled.

"We'll have to look into this. But for now… I expect we'll be able to keep this information private?"

"As it hasn't harmed anyone yet I don't believe I need to report this." The doctor said quietly, "However please be cautious if using any medical jutsu on her."

Dad nodded and gently picked me up.

"That will not be a problem, thank you."

The doctor nodded and after one more glance, left.

I blinked up at Dad and fiddled with my fingers.

"Does this mean I won't be allowed to train anymore?" I asked, a bit sullen by the idea.

Dad shifted me in his arms while he thought for a moment before he gave me a small smile.

"No. It should be alright. We'll just have to be more careful. Sound good?"

I smiled slightly at that and nodded.

But something felt wrong about this. Something was off about me and I had just never really noticed. Before when I had felt inside myself, the vast, deepness I had associated with my chakra had been comforting. It was the night sky, seemingly infinite and beautiful. But now I could almost feel it, the slight pull. The sucking sensation. It was barely there, unnoticeable except when I really tried to feel it. Was it still absorbing chakra? Was it still-

Deep and hungry and clamoring for more. Trying to hold the pieces together but falling apart at the seems, every stitch put back together another falls out. We're trying, we're trying. How long- how many- it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter until the pieces connect and we're- I'm-

I just didn't know.

And that terrified me.

If anyone can actually guess where I'm going with this (specifically Kaminaris chakra), I will totally sketch you a picture of a character of your choice for free.