I spent the day with Edward and his family at a secluded stretch of abandoned highway racing cars. Well, mostly I watched from a safe distance. The Cullen car collection was impressive. And fast. Rosalie fussed and tinkered over her cars, and Emmett took his bragging rights seriously. Apparently, he had a score to settle with Jasper, and they spent the better part of the day racing various cars and placing all kinds of ridiculous bets.
Alice and Edward spent most of their time with me, alternating plying me with food with making me laugh. It had been wonderful, watching my vampire family sparkle in the sun and laugh with each other. Teasing, bragging and betting. But I couldn't keep my mind off of what Edward had promised me for tonight. I'm sure I was giving off waves of lust and longing that Jasper couldn't miss, even though he kept his usual distance. But I couldn't stop myself as I mused and daydreamed about our plans for the night.
Now, it was evening and I was just finishing up my shower. I was careful to bring my clothes with me tonight into the bathroom. I didn't want any repeat incidents delaying my promised massage. I actually had a hard time deciding what to wear to bed tonight. What do you wear for a massage? I'm sure Edward wouldn't be allowing me to get naked - I blushed at the thought. But I still wanted to allow maximum access to my skin without making either of us uncomfortable.
I settled for my cotton pajama shorts and a tank top in place of my usual oversized tee shirt and sweats. After some awkward internal debate, I added a bra to my ensemble. It had become my habit to wear a bra with Edward in my bed every night. I usually chose a comfortable sports bra, but tonight I wore a regular one. The kind that can come off more easily. I justified that maybe it would be needed for the massage. Then I flamed red again.
I listened outside of Charlie's room to make sure he was asleep. His light snoring confirmed I would be seeing Edward when I went into my room. Sure enough, my angel sat on the bed waiting for me. He still looked out of place in my normal, human bedroom. Even in his pajama bottoms and tee shirt, he was stunning. Like a carved statue of male perfection. And behind all that was the man I loved. The man I was going to marry. He made my heart skip a beat, and my stomach tighten.
I closed the door quietly behind me and set my toiletry bag on my desk, before I hurried into his embrace. The cool touch of his skin felt soothing on my shower-warmed skin. He held me close on his lap, gently stroking my back. He seemed to be drinking in the extra warmth. A mutually beneficial arrangement for us both. The cool feel of his skin helped calm my overheated body.
"I missed you." I smiled up at him.
He chuckled and kissed me on the nose. "It's only been an hour since I left you, a mere drop in the bucket of my eternal life. And yet, I missed you too."
I buried my face into his solid chest, enjoying the moment of quiet. I was unsure how to approach the subject of our agreed upon activity tonight. My heart started beating faster again.
"I see you've dressed for our activity tonight," Edward said.
"Is this okay? I mean, I wasn't sure what I should wear."
He kissed my bare shoulder just next to the thin strap of my tank top. "You're perfect."
I snorted but otherwise chose to ignore his one flaw. We all knew who the perfect one was in this relationship.
"Why don't you lay on your bed?" I eagerly relocated as he retrieved the massage lotion bottles from my desk.
"I'm reasonably certain I can do this without hurting you, but can you promise me you'll tell me if it hurts even just a little bit?"
"Yes, I promise." I bit my lip and settled onto my stomach.
He sat onto the edge of the bed with his feet on the floor. He moved my hair off my shoulders and laid it out gently to the side. The light touch sent a tingle of pleasure down my spine. With my face in the sheets, I couldn't see him anymore, but I heard him opening one of the bottles and rubbing some lotion between his hands.
"The lotion will still probably be a bit cold," he said softly. The lotion was cool on my shoulders, but not unpleasant. He ran his hands over my skin and down my arms, applying the gentlest of pressure. I groaned in satisfaction. His hands froze.
"S'okay," I murmured. "Good noises. Very good."
Reassured, his hands started moving again. They were like magic. His thumbs worked in gentle circles in all the right places, easing muscles I didn't know were tense. He focused on each of my arms, working down into the palms of my hands.
The massage on my hands tickled a little bit, but it felt so amazing. He worked his thumbs gently into my palms and rubbed down along each of my fingers. He ended with a kiss on each fingertip. I was surprised at how sensual it felt.
When he was finished rubbing all the available bare skin on my shoulders and arms, he paused unsure what to approach next. I laid there, completely relaxed, but as always, hyper aware of him. He started rubbing again on my shoulders and then down over my back. He worked on my upper back for a few minutes, rubbing and caressing over my tank top. Every so often he would place a kiss on my shoulder or bare neck, sending a little jolt of electricity through my body.
His hands worked their way down to my lower back and up again along my spine. I nearly melted into the bed.
"Is the pressure too much?" He whispered softly, next to my ear. I shook my head, not wanting to break out of my pleasure coma. He kissed my ear, stroked a stray strand of hair out of my face and continued his ministrations on my back.
I bit my lip as I considered how to make my next move. I willed him to read my mind and know what I wanted, but I remained stubbornly mentally mute. If we were really going to work on this desensitizing thing, I knew I had to be brave.
Taking a breath to steel myself, I reached my hands to the bottom of my tank top and lifted it up a few inches to my mid back. My lower back was exposed, wordlessly inviting him to massage it. I held my breath and didn't dare open my eyes to see his reaction. My heart beat faster undoubtedly giving away my nervousness.
After a second, I felt the bed shift as he rubbed more lotion between his palms and rubbed the bare skin of my back. The room seemed electrified though neither of us had spoken.
"Snickerdoodle?" I asked him tentatively. He laughed softly and bent down to place a kiss in the small of my back.
"No, this is good," he whispered. The only noise was my breathing and the occasional creaking of my bed as he shifted his weight.
His hands were wonderfully cool along my overheated body as he rubbed lotion into my skin. He continued, filling all of my exposed skin with goose bumps of pleasure. His hands travelled up slowly underneath my tank top. I involuntarily caught my breath as he tickled his fingers along the bare skin of my back, up to the strap of my bra.
"Snickerdoodle?" he asked me back. I shook my head into the bed, not trusting my voice. He worked his fingers back and forth just below my bra strap. Eventually, his fingers slipped underneath the elastic band caressing the skin there. My breathing was heavy as my body tingled with the pleasure of his touch.
Channeling Evil Bella, I reached around to undo the hooks in my bra. His hand stopped mine before I could unlatch it.
"Bella," he warned, softly.
"I was just trying to get this out of the way for you. Nothing devious."
"I'm not sure that's a good idea."
Talking into the mattress somehow gave me greater confidence than if I had been looking into his eyes. I knew that they would mostly likely be darkened with his heightened emotions.
"If I promise not to turn over? Would that be okay? I just wanted to give you more room to massage."
We waited in our temporary stale mate with his hands still stopping mine from unhooking my bra. I lowered my hands down to my sides in defeat. I tried not to let this disappoint me. We were making so much progress. Just the fact that he was willing to try this massage was proof of that.
He paused long enough that I thought I had ruined the back rub all together, so it surprised me when he suddenly unhooked my bra clasp with a deft movement over my tank top. My heart raced thunderously. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I registered that it would have taken me a lot more fumbling and effort to undo it myself. He was good at everything.
He surprised me further when his hands ran up the sides of my arms hooking a finger into the strap at my shoulder. He ran a strap down each arm before pulling the bra out of my shirt completely. My heart pounded. I had not been expecting that. I was just going to unhook the back. I was suddenly glad I hadn't been clear on my intentions. This was so much better.
"Just, don't turn over for heaven's sake or I'm going to lose it." His voice was rough.
He was being too serious. Too intense. I knew that he needed to relax or this was going to end all too soon, and we'd both feel like failures. I decided to lighten the mood a bit.
"Just how much practice have you with bras, Edward? That was pretty smooth," I tried to sound accusing, but I'm not sure I managed it while hiding my pleased smile in the sheets.
"Hah. None, first hand. But I have seen the latching mechanism before and I've certainly spent way too much time listening to Emmett perfecting his 'moves'. In my case, it's really a matter of not applying too much pressure and crushing the whole clasp."
I made noises at what I hoped were appropriate points in his explanation, but it was hard to focus on his words as his hands were currently busy doing the most amazing things on my back. At least he sounded less tense. His hands worked over my upper back and my sides. His fingers trailed just inches from the sides of my breasts, and I ached with desire. I wondered if he realized how close he was to them. I wondered if he would be willing to touch me there.
His fingers slid along my sides tickling me. I squirmed. He repeated the motion on the other side and I squirmed again. His silent laughter shook the bed.
After a while, he had me so relaxed, I started drifting in an out of consciousness. I woke up fully when he pulled my tank top back down covering my back. I stirred, mumbling my thanks for his skillful massage.
"Shh. You're tired and it's getting late," he whispered.
I yawned, and realized he was right. I slid myself to the edge of the bed and grabbed my bra from the floor. I groaned with annoyance. Putting it back on was not going to be comfortable. And there really wasn't a graceful way to do this while laying down. I should probably just get up and go do it in the bathroom. I sighed and swung my legs groggily off the side of the bed.
"Can I ask you a question?" He placed his hand gently on my shoulder to keep me from leaving. I looked at him over my shoulder. He shifted uncomfortably and my interest piqued. "I'm under the impression that women don't usually wear braziers at night." I swallowed thickly, now also nervous. "Wouldn't you be more comfortable if you didn't wear it to bed?"
His words mimicked my own request about his pajamas. His eyes moved from the bra in my hand to my wide eyes. "If it's not comfortable for you, I mean."
I nodded slowly. I was fully awake now. "It wouldn't bother you?" I asked hesitantly. Somehow this felt like a big deal. Like a turning point in our physical relationship.
He nodded.
I dropped the bra on the ground, laid back down with a contented sigh and pulled the blanket up to my chin. Edward lay next to me and we settled into a spooning position on our sides. He hand wound carefully around my waist. I was definitely hyper-aware that there wasn't as much of a barrier as before between us. But I had no doubt his hand wouldn't stray anywhere I was uncomfortable.
"Sleep, my love. " He kissed me lightly and hummed my lullaby as I drifted into a blissful slumber.