Title: Once a Comfort

Summary: Law has trouble sleeping, and in his attempt to get some, thinks on his reasons for living

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or any of its characters

Note: I should be doing homework right. But you know what, it was worth it.

Law wakes up suddenly and all at once. It's not a slow, uncomfortable roll or a terrified bolt or a gradual, natural rise for a new day. Rather, one moment he's sleeping and the next he's not. He doesn't move at first, just stares at the ceiling disinterestedly. This, at least, is a common occurrence, something he's used to, something he knows how to deal with. Moving slowly, Law sits up, propping himself up on his hands. He stops there though, looks into the darkness his eyes are only now starting to adjust to, and lies back down. It's probably best if he just lets Bepo sleep.

Settling back into his hammock, Law goes back to staring at the ceiling. He's not going back to sleep, not anytime soon at least. That's alright though. He's found that it helps when there's some sort of noise breaking up that oppressive silence, so even if he'd rather dismember an unfortunate soul before he was caught doing this, Law starts humming. It's quiet, almost too quiet to hear, but it's enough, and instantly a tension he didn't know he had flows out of him.

Absently, he notices it's not a song he recognizes, though it's entirely possible there's no song to recognize. A tuneless noise is much safer than a song after all, less chance of people figuring out where he came from. Not that anyone was likely to know anything from his home town.

The tension is back, following that thought, so Law quickly drops it. It does him no good to remind himself of things like that. But it's too late now, and that first bitter thought opens the gates to a million others.

Law stops humming, not like it would help much at this point anyway. It's silent again, and he closes his eyes like he's going to go back to sleep. The image lasts for a second, shattering in the face of a deep scowl marring Law's young features. The last time it had been this quiet – a wide, red painted smile – it had been snowing. Not exactly an uncommon occurrence in the North Blue, but somehow that fact had always stuck with him. The lines on his face relax. He'd found it weird, the first time he remembered what the weather had been like and how hungry a missed breakfast had made him more than what had actually happened.

Oh well, it was far in the past. There were much more important things to think about now.

Rolling over, Law tries to get comfortable again. Sleep had always been the most important thing to ensure his ability worked properly, but just like usual, it seems to elude him when he actually has the time for it.

He remembers times when it had been easy to fall asleep, quiet nights easy to come by and – black feathers, molting off a large coat – a warm blanket wrapped snuggly around his small body. It's much harder to manage now, but Bepo makes a better pillow than expected. Maybe he should do that now, crawl into Bepo's hammock. It would hardly be the first time, and Bepo wouldn't mind. He never does. Law rolls back to his original position. No, his friend needed his sleep to, and if Law went and bothered him now, there was no doubt he wouldn't be getting it.

It was too quiet again. Law couldn't bring himself to disrupt it. Swallowing thickly, he realizes the pressure steadily building behind his eyes for the first time. Why now? It's been years since he cried, years since he lost that most important thing. He huffs a little, ripping through the silence for less than a second, more than enough to miss it, to revel in the brief respite.

He doesn't let the tears fall, not now, not after so long. It doesn't matter how much they burn behind his eyes, how much it hurts to keep them in, because it's better than letting them blur his sight, trail over his – white spots, stretching over a pale face – cheeks in watery tracks. It's been too long since he's cried anyway. Even with the feel of them building up behind his eyes, begging to take their natural course, the last time he cried was also his first promise. I will avenge you even if it kills me.

Somehow, letting his tears spill over now feels a little like breaking it, like there's now something more important than him and what he did for Law. He realizes that doesn't make any sense, just because other things make him sad that has nothing to do with forgetting. Law could never forget him.

That doesn't stop it from happening, and Law has long since been resigned to how irrational emotions can be. He's about to sigh, but the noise gets stuck in his throat before it can interrupt the silence that's built back up. Making noise now, as much as the silence hurts, somehow also feels like a form of betrayal, like by breaking through his room will no longer be as welcoming of that man and those memories of him. The idea of forgetting – red stains, spreading over white cloth – terrifies him more than anything else.

A small, bitter smile stretches across Laws face. As much as it hurts now, to let the silence wrap around him when he knows it couldn't possibly his doing, it helps him remember. Remember all those things he'd rather forget and lock away and never think about again, but can't because it's too important. He's too important, and no matter what Law could never forget how much he owes the man that made no sound.

There will be vengeance, even if it kills him. Wait for me, Cora-san.

So here this is, honestly much sooner than I expected it, but yeah, so hope you liked it. Anyway, gonna go eat breakfast now, even though it's already like 12:30.

I know it's kinda not what the summary (for the whole thing, not just this one in particular) suggests (or says outright really) but I wanna get through character deaths before I start bringin' 'em back.

Oh, by the way, sorry it this is kinda choppy or somethin' most of this was written late late at night when I shoulda been sleepin' so... sorry, I guess.