Chapter Five: Sad

A/N: I think I'm too liberal with my use of italics. Italics. Also, the song is Sad by Maroon 5. Check out Luciana Zogbi's cover as well. I think the song explains half of what Sakura feels about her relationship with Sasuke.

Disclaimer: I do not own the song featured here, nor the manga/anime Naruto

"Ne Sakura-chan… I'm so sorry about how Naruto reacted."

Hinata's voice startles Sakura. Seems like she was too focused on scrutinizing each individual grain (as if it were possible, but she tries) in the white sand garden. You can actually lose your thoughts there.

"Don't worry about it Hinata. Truth be told, he actually handled it well." She moves closer to the garden, taking care to step on the tiles and not let the hem of her pink, cotton pajamas graze the white sand. "I was expecting so much worse."

It's true. When she decided to leave Konoha— on a night much like this one, chilly breeze, bright full moon and all— she didn't even say goodbye to Naruto. And that must've killed him. Being a person who was alone most of his growing up years, he truly treasured all of his friends.

"He just misses you a lot is all… Speaking of which, I have a surprise for you Sakura-chan, I hope you don't mind."

She could already here the taunts even before she turns.

"I think you've gained some weight since the last time I saw you Forehead!"

Right before her was the other blue-eyed blonde in her life, and kami, it's so horrible how much she misses Yamanaka Ino.

With new tears pooling in the corners of her eyes, she points an index finger at Ino, "Look who's talking Pig!"

When Ino tackles her to the ground with a hug and Hinata scrambles to help them up, she thinks that she's never been happier in the last six years. Even if there's probably hell to pay now that they've ruined Neji's sand garden.

"Well, Gaara-san sounds… nice."

"Nice?! Please! Forehead lucked into this one! Rich, gorgeous, and those smoldering eyes? You better not let this one go Sakura."

Said girl feels like whacking her loud-mouth friend in the face. With a pillow. Maybe it was too soon to be introducing Gaara to her other friends. Hinata was fine but he might catch Ino's vulgarity somehow.

"Will you shut up pig! The walls here in the Hyuuga mansion aren't exactly solid you know?" To prove her point, Sakura taps the paper screen door beside her.

"Hey, just don't run crying to me when he leaves you for someone prettier, sexier, and someone who can handle him… better." Ino stands up and traces her shapely silhouette.

That's it! Like some deranged child (exactly what they were when they first became friends), Sakura tackles Ino down, fully intent on smothering her with a blanket.

Beside them, Hinata sighs and busies herself with the manila envelope that seemed to weigh a ton in her lap.

Sakura notices this and feels guilty all at once. Here she was, so happy to be with her friends, and one of them was stewing in a vortex of a life-changing decision.

"Hey pig…" she whispers to the blonde, "Do you know about that?"

Ino's eyes, scary weapons if you happen to be in the receiving end of her ire, zero in on the manila envelope and nods.

"How?"

"Karin, duh."

Well that's the first she's heard the name. A new member of the group? "Who? And how does she know?"

"She's Naruto's cousin— apparently. She works in the general hospital as head nurse. Moved here to Konoha some two years after you left."

"Oh." There wasn't much Sakura could say. Except she has this (silly) nagging feeling, a green monster poking through, that she had been replaced.

Hinata lets out another sigh, a shaky one that seems to have taken all her breath away. So Sakura does the only thing she thinks she can do for her friend: simply be there.

"It's going to be alright Hinata." She places her hand on the girl's shoulder; a comforting gesture that she hopes against hope is enough for now. "We're here. I'll go back to the hospital with you tomorrow."

And for a moment, they bask in the comfort that those mere words and the holding of hands could give them.

The sun had barely just appeared when she arrives in the cemetery, exploding rays of light and warmth all around her. Seeing the two tombstones again, together, it just hits her that she's back in Konoha again. Something that she never thought would happen for a very, very long time.

Then again, to most people, six years is already a long time.

And to people who you grew up with and considered you practically family, six years was already a lifetime.

She sits on the ground, in front of the two graves, with her legs tucked under her all prim and proper. She was so worried about where she'd find flowers this early in the morning but she knew she shouldn't have bothered. The graves are immaculate, recently cleaned, and there are two-day old flowers sitting on top of one of them.

Asami-chan.

"So… I'm back, Itachi-kun, Asami-chan. I'm sorry I haven't visited in a long while."

She wonders if there's really any point in this, talking to people who essentially aren't there. But then, even if your friends die, they don't stop being your friends. They don't stop being people you cared for a whole damn much. Besides, cemeteries are much more for the living than for the dead.

It's the first time in six years that she's been here. The pain of losing Itachi and Asami has long since faded into a dull throbbing and she finds that it's easier to 'talk' to them now than in those first few weeks.

To Itachi, she recounts her tales of contagious diseases and cadavers from medical school. She knows he'd be proud of her for achieving so much; he had been her number one supporter and study buddy when she was preparing for medical school. They may not have been related but he had always been like a brother to her, her voice of reason.

And Asami… Sakura had no words for her. Just tears. Free flowing tears that streamed down her eyes like a rivulet.

Because even now, she knows there aren't enough 'I'm sorry's in the world that she could offer the dead girl.

"Where did you go Sakura-chan? You left really early."

Sakura offers Hinata a smile and tells her that she's just been walking around town. Why bother with the lie though? One look at Hinata's perpetually shy smile and it's obvious that she knows. And if the grass stains at the knees of her pants weren't telling enough, then what was?

But Hinata wouldn't be Hinata if she didn't understand, or at least give her the benefit of the doubt. Thank kami for small miracles then.

"Let's go Sakura-chan?"

She nods once and looks ahead. The Konoha General Hospital is the only, and therefore oldest, hospital in town. The building is four storeys high made mostly of wood, painted white, with open hallways at the back with wide, ornate arches. Ancient yet beautiful, it was home to many of Sakura's milestones in life, the good and the bad. Chief among them were the long, sleepless nights when she visited her mother during the end. Those days, she practically lived in the building, got used to the bland hospital food and made friends with the staff. Especially the woman who would take her in when it was all over, her Tsunade-shishou.

Then there was that night, the accident.

And now, with their hands firmly clasped together, there is Hinata. And her hopes and possible future.

When they're finally standing in front of the Ob-Gyne's door, Hinata let's go of her hand. "Sakura-chan, maybe this is something I have to find out by myself first. Do you mind?"

"Not at all." Sakura understood, sometimes there are thing you have to stand up to alone, if only to make yourself stronger. "I'll walk around. Just text me when you're done."

She gives the girl her most winning smile and waves at her, like an idiot, as she passes through the door.

The hospital, especially now during weekends, is mostly empty. So alone, she decides to go to her favourite place in the hospital, the rooftop.

Whenever it got too much, too painful to see her mother's suffering, she escaped to the rooftop. There she was mostly alone. And she could release the smile and forget that she had to act strong. It was just her and the wide open sky.

Maybe she'll take Hinata here later.

Sakura treads the winding staircase leading to the rooftop. It's made of wood, and old, and rickety. And every creak as her foot steps on a plank and the smell of mold and damp brings an onslaught of nostalgia.

Near the top, she notices that shaft of sunlight pouring in through the open door. Sakura second guesses her move, thinking maybe she should just come back later.

"… said you were going to visit last night."

There is someone there. She's close enough to hear the voice, female, as she talked to someone on the phone. Out of curiosity, she listens in. She mentally swears; one day with Ino and she's already turning into a gossip.

"Yeah I know you're busy, the whole town counts on you."

Sakura couldn't risk peering in, in case whoever is there is facing the door. But through the voice, high-pitched, too sweet and a little bit whiny, she tried to imagine the girl. Probably one of those types who always got what they want. Pretty but tried too hard? And she's probably talking to her boyfriend.

"Alright, I'll just come by your place later. Bye, Sasuke-kun."

Oh.

What was that phrase? Get out of doge?

Well the moment Sakura heard Sasuke's name, she high-tailed it out of there, as fast as she could and as quietly as she could. What the hell did she just hear?

As she ran back to where Hinata is, the conversation kept replaying over and over and over in her head.

Sasuke-kun… Sasuke-kun…

Damn it, she shouldn't be feeling like this! Like someone just threw a bucket of ice cold water on her, her heart hammering away and her little lungs, bursting for air.

Sakura slides down one of the empty chairs outside the clinic, patting that area above her heart. As if that could temper the wild beating.

What should she make of this? She didn't have the whole story, or know the whole conversation for that matter, but wasn't it pretty obvious? And so it shouldn't bother her at all. What Sasuke does and with whom is none of her business.

Not anymore.

Had Sasuke moved on like she always wanted him to?

Before she could go down the rabbit hole of her thoughts, she hears the door to the clinic open and out comes a preoccupied Hinata. In her hands is a large brown envelope that she couldn't tear her eyes from.

"Hinata?"

"Sakura-chan…" finally, she looks up, and amazingly, breaks into a wide smile. "Sakura-chan, it's a girl!"

Hinata was going to have a daughter. One of her bestfriends, pregnant and probably going to get married soon.

Sakura chuckles. What was she doing with her life? She's just now finishing her studies and is in a complicated relationship that shouldn't be all that complicated. And apparently, there's a part of her that will always be stuck in a previous toxic relationship.

But what kind of a friend would she be if she didn't immediately jump up and congratulate Hinata. And a baby girl! Kami, she's going to be one of the most spoiled princesses in the world.

The sound of someone coughing behind the two effectively stopped their hugging and shouting however.

A red head, all curves and supposed allure, stared at them with a cocky slant to her head and a hand poised suggestively at her hips. She wore the crisp white uniform nurse's usually wore and in her other hand was a clipboard.

"There may not be other people around but I can assure you that the patients in the other rooms can still hear you."

"Oh. S-so sorry Karin-san. I was just... We were just…" Hinata glances at the Ob-Gyne's office behind her and blushes.

The red head, Karin, adjusts her glasses and scrutinized Hinata and the envelope in her hand, glancing at the door of the clinic they were outside off, and then Sakura. In fact, as the flower haired girl was irked to notice, this girl, Karin, is giving her a head to toe glance.

Sakura decides that Karin held no resemblance to sunny and cheery Naruto at all. She knows it's terrible of her to judge off the bat, but something about her she just doesn't like.

"Don't worry, I won't tell my cousin your little… secret, if you make me your Maid of Honor for the wedding."

Karin winks at Hinata before she sashays off to who knows where, and Sakura doesn't know if the red head was just joking.

But at least she knows now what she disliked about her so much.

Sakura pockets her hands to hide their trembling.

That now sickly sweet voice, it was her Sakura heard on the rooftop.

A/N:

It has been a very long while.

I am warning you now, I'm going to rant a bit, so just pass on if you don't want to know.

I've been lazy in updating my stories so far because… well, I realize there really isn't any love in FFnet. It's true what Daisy said. There are a lot of people who read my stories but don't review at all. Sure, not all of them probably likes it, might not be their cup of tea.

But there's just too many readers and viewers for me to assume they don't at least follow the story.

And as a writer, it's really just disheartening.

Whatever.

I'm not taking my stories hostage though. I'll still finish all of them. I'd just like to air it out. A huge thank you to all the people who review though. I appreciate it a lot, for "Finding Our Song" and for "Nyx Eros."