Chapter Nine: Chasing Pavements

A/N: I went through probably half a dozen song changes for this chapter before settling for this Adele song. I'm not entirely sure if it's perfect, but the tone of the song really is.

Disclaimer: I do not own the song featured here, nor the manga/anime Naruto

Tick.

Tock.

They were standing on a little island of suspended time.

Sakura can feel everything too keenly— the cold of the counter tiles pressing on her back, the sound of theirragged breathing, and that taste. That heady, intoxicating taste that is Uchiha Sasuke. She can still feel his careful grip on the back of her head and her waist, keeping them close.

Motionless.

On the other hand, she still has her arm splayed across his back.

And his skin on hers… it burns.

Tick.

Even if she wanted to move, she couldn't. And she's starting to think that she didn't want to. If she moved now, time would go on… and staying still is infinitely more preferable than dealing with the aftermath of this.

They kissed… They kissed!

She can only imagine the picture they presented.

It had taken only a few fucking seconds.

"… Sakura I—"

Tock.

And just like that, the moment is gone.

It really is like waking up after a spell. Along with the seemingly sudden influx of time was the realization of what they had done. Of what she had done. And the shame and fear of it all just floors her.

What can she do but run?

She doesn't wait around to hear him out. She doesn't want to. Hell if she knows what he was going to say but she seriously doubts she'd be able to handle it right now. After all, this isUchiha Sasuke, and when has anything about him and her ever been anything but a complicated mess?

Slumped behind the closed door of her room, with knuckles harshly shoved in her mouth, Sakura tries to reign in her heart.

How could this have happened?

How could she have done this to Gaara?

That kiss… Sasuke… The disappointed look in Gaara's eyes if he ever finds out about this just knocks Sakura down over and over so much that she actually feels sick.

But what scares her most is the fact that she can't even deny that some part of her… wanted more.

Once there was a boy.

And once there was a girl.

Essentially, isn't that how most stories start? Theirs definitely wasn't any different… The Sasuke-and-Sakura story.

She could still remember the exact point in time where the rest of their lives collided, like two marbles smashing against each other, full force. Where and when they melded together was harder to figure out.

It could have happened during one of the many late afternoons they spent talking from opposite sides of their yards' picket fence.

Maybe the answer could be found in the healed scrapes and bruises from their childhood misadventures with Naruto.

Or it could have been during all those parties and camping trips they had in Lake Okugi.

Some people like to say that love blossoms after one great moment— one glorious event where everything just falls into place. A passionate confession in the rain. The accidental touching of hands under the starry sky. Catching his eye from across a sea of people. Fate. Perfect.

But Sakura believed that love happened in successions. It was in the everyday things, intertwining one by one like little tendrils, until what was originally there was strengthened and one day, it would emerge complete.

Into love.

Or something else entirely.

And everything depended on time.

Sakura hugs her coat tighter to herself.

It's still afternoon but the sun, as if sensing her mood, has decided to hide behind stormy gray clouds. Figures.

She had to wait until Sasuke was gone before she left her room. She couldn't… she just couldn't face him yet. She would have left the house altogether if she knew for sure that she'd be able to get a flight back to Suna immediately. But for now… god, she just has to get out and clear her mind. And walking seems like a good way to do it.

Sitting along the outskirts of town, the house wasn't totally out of the way, but was far enough that a recluse like Sasuke would still feel comfortable. Sakura looks to the house a few meters beside it. It's just as old and weary and made almost entirely of wood. Like most of the houses in Konoha were.

And it used to be her home.

There was a time, back when her family first moved to Konoha, when there was at least a yard and a fence separating their rooms... Back when things were so much simpler and her and Sasuke's story wasn't muddled with one-nighters and revenge sex.

She glances one last time at the two houses before she carries on. They stood like two lonely pillars against the background of an enormous expanse of sky.

If she'd never sold her childhood home, would any of it still have happened? She'd have a place to stay, no Sasuke, no temptation, no kiss— oh who is she kidding?

It's not like she didn't have any misgivings when she moved in but should she have seen this coming? Was this her fault?... Yes, maybe. For goodness sake, before it happened wasn't she just thinking that things will always be tense between the two of them?

Damn, she should have taken her chances with Shino.

Sakura lets out a frustrated sigh.

It isn't helping. It didn't matter who held most of the blame, it's already happened… Still. She won't lie and say she wouldn't feel a little better if she could dump it all on the bastard.

The exasperating, confusing bastard.

By the time she passes through the town's arch gateway, Sakura's at least decided on one thing. For now, she needs a distraction.

As small a town as Konoha is, there's still a lot that can be done. Restaurants and cafés and souvenir stores have popped up all over the place since she left. Just the other night, the newly renovated cinema house of her teenage years re-opened. It looks like Konoha is only moving up and up. And what the town lacked for in big malls, it definitely made up for hospitality.

At the salty smell of takoyaki (savory bell-shaped pancakes) and ikayaki (grilled squid), her stomach emits an embarrassingly loud growl. She should go somewhere to eat, she supposes. After all, she did miss her breakfast because of this morning's incident…

But accidentally bumping into Sasuke anywhere is too great a risk she's not willing to take at the moment.

Not alone anyway.

Wow. Where does all her professed courage go to when it comes to Uchiha Sasuke?

With practiced steps, she makes her way through the cracked, dusty road to the Yamanaka Flower Shop. God, she's been going to Ino's almost as soon as she could walk. That's how long they've been friends. It feels like second nature to her that whenever she was uneasy or bothered, she'd be heading to the blonde for advice and companionship.

She loved her boys to bits, but Ino (and to some extent Hinata) was there for her in a way that Sasuke and Naruto just couldn't be.

And so, standing in front of roses and peonies and chrysanthemums and the rest of the explosion of colors that is the Yamanaka storefront, Sakura finds it hard to believe that she survived all those years in Suna without Ino.

"That was fast. What— did you run here Forehead?"

Bells tinkle as the door shuts close.

"What are you talking about Piggy?"

Ino steps out from behind the counter and motions for her to check her phone. Which Sakura, caught in the whirlpool of emotional bedlam that she was, of course forgot to bring with her. The blonde just waves her hand as if to say it didn't matter.

"Oh. Well it's a good thing you came to see me then…" Ino grabs her hand and the purple umbrella by the door. "You missed me didn't you?"

Walking arm in arm along the streets of Konoha, Sakura realizes that she really does. Miss Ino, even her haughty teasing. And how freezing the afternoons can get there. How the air smells different, fresher, sweeter than in the city. And just how visible the stars can be at night.

Is it weird that she's only missing these things now, when they're right in front of her? Sakura looks at all of the old houses and stores and she sees her younger self running past each one of them. This place is starting to feel like home again.

And that is a dangerous thought indeed.

Especially since she has a life she needs to get back to in Suna.

Especially now that she knows six years isn't enough to exorcise Sasuke from her life.

"So… would you mind telling me where you're kidnapping me to Ino?"

"Right. We're going to that café yesterday to meet with Hinata," Ino leads her around a corner, "The wedding is in a week you know!"

"What? Why so soon?"

Ino makes a ballooning motion in front of her stomach. "I guess Hinata wanted to actually fit into a wedding dress when she gets married."

"Ah." That's true, Sakura muses. Hinata's already past her first trimester, she's going to start showing in a week or two.

But…

"Ino, I don't have a week."

They stop in front of the café just in time for its overhanging roof and trellis to protect them from the starting rain.

"What do you mean— You can't…" the blonde grips her hand too tightly, "You can't go just yet!"

Sakura withers under the girl's pleading gaze. It just magnifies the ugly, heavy feeling that's been suffocating her all day.

Guilt.

"Ino, I can't stay here indefinitely. I have school. I have work." Even to her ears her valid reasons sound like excuses. "You didn't think I'd stay forever did you?"

"No," the blonde fixes her with a steely glare, "But I expected you to at least stay when your friends needed you."

Sakura's shoulder sockets nearly pop when Ino let's go of her hand so abruptly (practically throwing her hand away) and enters the café without her. Well this takes her back as well. She and Ino always fought back then, a week wasn't complete without one. This shouldn't feel any different. But it does.

What Ino said was a slap to the face— it was angry and hurt and it was out to injure. But it was true.

Instead of rekindling friendships, everything she's done since she came to Konoha was burning bridges. Of old and new relationships alike.

She silently marvels at how she hasn't imploded in this vortex of regret, despair, and… just all the ugly emotions that all these realizations brought her. She could feel them crashing against her, all around her, like waves threatening to bring down the cliffside.

But she also feels a sort of detachment. The kind that leaves you confused and staring at the rubble, wondering when exactly it was that you fell.

Because sometimes there's nothing else you can do but steel yourself and let the waves crash.

Hinata couldn't possibly be serious.

Could she?

The whole thing was, is, crazy. They couldn't possibly think that the whole gang plus Naruto's redhead cousin standing as bridesmaids and groomsmen would be a good idea. Never mind easy. She could understand how Naruto, with his inherent easy manners and his ability to make friends out of even enemies (which is nothing short of god-like), wouldn't even think twice about of this.

But Hinata… sweet, gentle Hinata who would soon be experiencing whiplash inducing mood swings and then the joys (and horrors) of childbirth in less than half a year. To think that she'd have to organize this soap drama of a wedding.

The gang was such a motley of characters, big and small, clashing and compatible, that they were a handful to deal with. And that was on good days. Oh, they had their moments. They cared about each other. They were family.

But still. Aside from the fact that there wouldn't be anyone left in the audience if they were all standing up front, there are just so many wild cards among them (no she was not looking at Kiba, or Shino, or Naruto), it might only take one wrong move to topple the whole house.

So when Hinata, at the middle of this impromptu wedding meeting, asked her to be her maid of honor right after Naruto told Sasuke he'd be his best man, Sakura unsurprisingly blanches.

"I wouldn't count on her still being here for the wedding Hinata," said Ino, scrutinizing her fingernails with a fury in a corner of the room, "In fact, I wouldn't count on her still being here tomorrow.

"I…"

It was the way they all turned to her, almost all at the same instance— eyes pleading, eyes asking— that would do her in. She thinks.

Sakura watched it all in slow motion. The questions, the violent and not so violent reactions poured in. How Naruto's face crumpled and fell. Hinata's sad but understanding smile. Everyone else's whys and whens… the redhead woman's clinical gaze.

And Sasuke, trying not to look at her and quietly slipping away.

Away again.

Away from her.

"I'd love to be your Maid of Honor Hinata."

The ride home was uncomfortable, to put it in the lightest term. And the rain isn't helping to make things easier for them either. The chill felt like a third entity inside the car, seeping into their bones, making them too lethargic to care.

"I'm tired Sasuke."

"I'm driving as fast as I can Sakura."

"That's now what I meant." She traces the path of the raindrops on the window with her forefinger. "I'm tired of fighting how I feel about you, about all this. That doesn't mean I'm staying or that I'm just going to drop my life in Suna… I'm just tired."

"And I said yes because… I was afraid you'd leave— don't look so startled Sasuke," Sakura adds when she feels the car swerve slightly to the right, "I know you know how much you can still affect me… I'm sorry."

Sasuke stops the car when they can finally see the house up ahead. She won't let herself look at him, but she feels him bursting with the things he wants to tell her in response, and she waits. She waits for the words she didn't let him say earlier.

But he just grips the steering wheel in silence.

As usual.

Sakura closes her eyes and leans her head on the window, trying to concentrate instead on the rhythmic thumping of rain drops on glass.

Plop.

Plop.

Tick.

Tock.

Visions of the last time she waited for Sasuke play out in her mind. A full moon. An empty train station.

"This isn't what I want." His voice was so unexpectedly soft, she's not entirely sure he said anything at all.

"Then what do you want Sasuke?"

"I don't want you to keep walking around with that hurt look in your eyes Sakura."

Sakura smiles ruefully and nods. She can't see his eyes but she can still hear the indecision that's plagued Sasuke all his life echoed in his every word. That was unexpected. But still… "You didn't answer my question Sasuke."

She smirks when he slams the horn on the steering wheel and then curse under his breath. Sakura knows he doesn't have an answer. And she also recognizes that maybe Sasuke's just as confused as she is.

"You don't have to answer me now." Sakura looks up toward the skies to find that it's already cleared, sunny but grey. "But I will want an answer someday."

And with that, she opens the door and walks the rest of the way home.

Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

The night Sakura left for Suna, there were no tearful goodbyes or frantic waving through the train compartment window. There was nothing, no one. Except a little girl scared out of her wits but with a resolve to do something better with her life… A girl who knew she deserved better.

She didn't tell any of her friends because, well, there was a chance she'd never have gone through with it. Naruto would have screamed and cried while he dragged her back home. Ino and Hinata would be more understanding, but she had always been weak when it came to tears.

No, it was better that way.

The feeling of being alone for the first time in her life empowered her. If she could take that one momentous step by herself— if she could get past what she thought was the biggest hurdle to her new life, then she can do anything.

Doing it on her birthday was just the bittersweet icing on top of the cake.

But she told Sasuke though. Why?

Was she looking for some last minute reprieve, a reason not to go? Or did she want him to come running after her?

Maybe she just wanted to see if he would regret anything?

She can still remember looking out the window as she waited for the train to go, willing a tall, dark figure to materialize from out of the shadows.

A/N:

Good gravy boat! I finally finished this chapter!

I don't have any excuses as to why this took so long. Only that it's life, and as usual, life happens. Like a major event for my organization that took three months to prepare for (insert fml smile) and that I just really didn't want to turn up a crappy work (insert anxious frown).

The hardest thing to do for this chapter was how to portray Sakura's confused thoughts properly. I mean, her mind is a vortex. She probably feels like shit. And I wanted to write her as someone who didn't have all the right cards in her hand just yet. Who else has been there? You think I did her justice?

Thank you for the people still reading this. This story has actually helped me a lot with dealing with my real life problems and realizing things that I needed to learn. I really missed writing.

And as always, leave a review!