Chapter Eleven: Safe
A/N: The song is by Britt Nicole. I'm not too sure it fits well with the tone of the chapter, in some parts sure. But the message certainly does.
Disclaimer: I do not own the song featured here, nor the manga/anime Naruto
Honestly, what on earth did she think would happen?
What was she hoping for— that he'd come to her on bended knees, asking for forgiveness and begging to be taken back? Sakura would scoff but that fantasy didn't even merit it.
Uchiha Sasuke, beg? Heaven forbid.
For the hundredth time that night, she turns in her bed, dragging one of the pillows across her face. She can still see that disgusting smirk he gave her as if it was branded in her mind.
"Isn't this a surprise Sakura."
It wasn't even a question. There had been a bitter edge in his voice, an accusation that hung like a sword above her head. But of what? What would he have to be angry about? And of course he didn't even give her leave to ask what he meant.
No. He just dragged the way-too-happy Karin along with him.
Sakura told herself then that she didn't flinch every time he came near her because he just obviously, pointedly, ignored her. She wasn't bothered by the way he gripped the redhead's hips all night.
And her chest is most definitely not tightening because Sasuke hasn't come home yet.
She doesn't have the right to. Not anymore.
She wonders if she ever did.
"So… hydrangeas or peonies?"
Ino holds a bouquet of both flowers to Hinata's face for her inspection. A little too close, based on the shy girl's alarmed look. "Don't shove them in her face Ino-pig."
"What? I just want her to smell them. And really see their beauty." Ino leaves the pink and white peonies in the counter so she can hug the hydrangeas to herself. "Me, I've always been partial to blues and violets."
Sakura rolls her eyes and tells Hinata that in the language of flowers, the hydrangeas represents "vanity".
"Hey, I'm the horticulturist here forehead."
"But you're not the one getting married so why don't you just leave the decision to Hinata, okay?"
Despite their seemingly argumentative tone, both she and Ino are sporting grins. Things have thawed between them since they last talked, before the impromptu wedding announcement. And thankfully, no words were needed to be said and left awkwardly hanging in the air.
The best thing about Ino is that she always knows what she wants to say without her actually voicing it.
From behind, Sakura can hear Tenten chuckle at their antics. "You two will never change. You're as bad as Naruto and Sasuke."
Sakura falters at the mention of his name. But she couldn't dispute that. Which is a good thing that they had Tenten with them; while she and Ino are arguing about the particulars, she's ticking away at her clipboard and handling all the major details. She may have been the maid of honor, but thank god they had an actual wedding coordinator with them.
Who knew there were so many things to plan for in a wedding. They had to pick out dresses, the cake, and make the invitations. Then there's the issue of the officiant, the band, and the photographer. At least they already have a florist and a caterer.
And to think, she can't help but muse, back when they were kids all they thought was necessary was a wedding dress and a ring. Never mind the husband, they already had that figured out. Or so little Sakura thought at the time…
But anyway.
Sakura glances again at the stacks of envelopes, color swatches, and ribbons strewn all over their de facto base, the Yamanaka Flower Shop. Granted, it's not going to be a big wedding, and there won't be too many people attending (since the Hyuuga clan would probably be RSVP-ing 'no'), but all this in a week?
Wedded bliss sounds great, but she's glad that she's not the one who's getting married because even with years of experience in medical school, she wouldn't be able to handle something like this.
The front door opens and the strong scent of Crystal Noir Versace fills the room.
"Hey girls, miss me?"
Speaking of things she couldn't handle right now.
The redhead nurse walks into the shop, folders and paper bags in hand. It must've been her day-off because she isn't in her usual skimpy, white nurse outfit (okay, she only saw her in it twice). Instead she's wearing an equally skimpy two-piece dress that looks recently bought.
Sakura's lips thin into a line. God she didn't have to look so flawless and put together. She's practically glowing!
"Karin-san! Thanks for coming," Hinata rushes forward to greet her, nearly tripping over a ream of specialty paper, "I hope you don't mind we started without you?"
"No need to be so formal! We're going to be cousins soon."
Hinata announces Karin's presence but Sakura knows it's just for her benefit.
She leans her elbows into the counter as she watches her greet everyone, friendly and off-handedly. Like she belonged. For most of the six years she's been flaking out on everybody, this woman has probably been filling her spot.
Did she go on coffee dates with Hinata and the girls as well? Or maybe she went on the monthly group dinners with the gang at Ichiraku? And with Sasuke…
"Hey, you okay?" Ino whispers behind her.
Lost in thought, Sakura can only shrug. How is she supposed to feel, looking at her own replacement?
When said replacement walks up to her, she starts and barely has time to school her face into a welcoming one.
"Hi, we haven't exactly been introduced." Karin lifts a bejeweled hand to her, "I'm Uzumaki Karin, Naruto's cousin, obviously."
"Oh. Yeah, I got that." She gives the redhead the biggest smile she could muster and shakes her hand. She may be confused but that isn't an excuse not to put her best foot forward. She may like the woman still. "I'm Haruno Sakura. I'm…"
"The prodigal daughter."
Her smile freezes into place as the hand that grips hers tighten, the rings digging uncomfortably into her fingers.
"I've been hearing about you from the others my whole stay here in Konoha, you know? Except from Sasuke-kun that is."
Ah. Is that how it's going to be?
"Must be because there's too much to tell."
For a moment, Sakura sizes Karin up, and she's sure the redhead's doing the same. Everything about her is overpowering— the dress, the perfume, the smile. All of it designed to intimidate. A moment, a second; and that's all it takes for Sakura to know beyond a shadow of a doubt.
This week couldn't be over soon enough.
Surprisingly, Sasuke doesn't introduce Asami as his girlfriend to just Naruto and her at first, like she thought he would. Instead, he brings her to one of their end-of-the-month parties at the lake and presents her to the gang.
All around the campfire— handshakes, hugs, and cheers.
It was a long time coming. She'd been expecting it for a while. So why, when she'd had months to steel herself, did it still sting?
What hammered the nail on the coffin though were the brief, worried glances directed at her.? Oh, they were surreptitious doing it. But she knew.
So she plastered on the biggest smile she had and gave the loudest cheer. Because she still needed her pride. It was all she had left.
"Hey. You all know Asami right?"
"I miss you."
Sakura sighs and locks her phone, leaving the text from Gaara unanswered.
Not now, she thinks. Though the answers to why and when are currently eluding her. It was a simple enough statement. And simple enough to answer.
But simple isn't always easy, is it?
Breathing deeply, Sakura starts picking up the mess all around them. The others had long left, since Karin basically halved their work load by announcing that she's already found a photographer (who can also do the invitations) and a band.
She's good at finding people. Apparently.
"Don't let her get to you."
"What?" Sakura looks over at Ino who's busily scribbling the order for Hinata's floral arrangements. In the end, she chose lilies— dark and purple callas and pure, white lilies. It's going to be the picture of sophistication, Naruto's going to have to step up his game.
"If you're thinking about Karin, don't." Ino looks up from the order sheet, "She's not worth it."
Memories of a small Ino, eyes cold and cutting, defending her from bullies come to her mind unbidden. She shakes her head; Ino will never give up being her hero will she?
But she is right. Karin had more than one arrow in her quiver to shoot, but after the first verbal spar, Sakura didn't have it in her to fight back.
Somehow, in the space of that one-hour meeting, she had managed to not so subtly allude to her sex life with Sasuke (she tried not to gag), berate her for irresponsibly leaving her friends behind (like they were bags she just managed to leave behind in a train station), and belittle her dream to be a doctor ("It's the nurses who do all the work you know").
The message was clear, of course.
Stay away from Sasuke-kun.
You're not good enough for him.
I am.
Well, message received, no need to drive the point in deeper. But one would think, after last night, she should be bloody pleased with herself.
"I know it's petty, but how do you all stand her?" she asks with a laugh, a little too exasperatedly for her taste.
"We don't. Actually, we just make Naruto deal with her like, most of the time. And even he doesn't like her."
"Ino-pig!" Sakura only rolls her eyes at that. Karin could be working for the worst megalomaniac in the world and Naruto would still be able to find something redeemable in her.
After all the cleaning, she and Ino maneuver themselves to the window-side table, a cup of jasmine tea in both of their hands. She missed quiet times like these. Suna was such a big city with everyone always on the move, moments like this were few and far in between.
Though Konoha never lacked for excitement, did it?
"Speaking of petty…" Ino leans over the table towards her, eyebrow arched, "How's Sasuke?"
Sakura looks out the window to watch the people walking by. "I don't know what you mean."
"We're not blind. That thing with Karin last night. After all the years we've been together— especially those high school years, god; we know a show when we see one."
Even if she can't see herself, Sakura bets that she's blushing from her neck to the roots of her hair. Goddamn Sasuke and all this drama. From across the table, Ino gives her a smug smirk. Something's happened between them, the blonde insists.
It's scary how intuitive Ino is sometimes.
Should she tell her about what happened in Sasuke's kitchen though? That kiss?... No. Sakura grips her cup, holding that piece of ceramic like it's the secret she's so desperate not to let the world know.
Some things are just too unpredictable, too dangerous, too entrust to anyone.
"I told him I was tired of… us. So I asked him what it was that he wanted."
"Oh. Isn't that a little vague?"
She shrugs and concedes that it was. "But he knows what I meant."
There. That wasn't exactly a lie. Just a half-truth. She asked Sasuke what he wanted and she got her answer…
"So that's what the show was for." Ino smirks into her cup. "Sasuke always was a drama queen."
For the first time since she got to Konoha, Sakura finds herself genuinely smiling about something related to Sasuke. Because he is, always have been, though he'd rather die than admit it. But all the cold shoulders and temper tantrums throughout their so-called friendship would beg to differ.
"You know why he did that right?"
"Because he's saying what he wants is her?" It's supposed to be a statement but because it's Ino who asked, annoyingly and surprisingly wiser than most anyone Ino, Sakura starts to wonder if there's something she missed.
"I refuse to believe you're that naïve forehead."
She gives Ino a quelling look. Naïve? "Ino, what else could it mean?"
"Well how did you think he would react, seeing you together with Gaara— your boyfriend? And what would have happened if he came to you and said that he chose you, that he wanted you? Would you have broken up with Gaara then?"
"How dare you!" Sakura slams the cup into the table. "And besides, that would never happen. Sasuke didn't choose me back then, he would never do so now!... That's why I left."
Ino sighs but she doesn't relent. "I know. And I can't believe I'm saying this after all the shit he put you through, but you also know that asking him that while you're still attached to someone else was unfair."
"But that's not what I meant at all when I asked him. I never wondered if I'd factor into the equation..." Sakura groans and leans her head back on the chair. "Why does that matter? He doesn't care."
It's true. That's what she believes anyway.
A familiar ache reminds her that no, she's not going down that road again, believing that Uchiha Sasuke cared about her that way. That's what the past six years has been for. One kiss, one stupid fluke wasn't going to make her come crawling back.
And she's not saying that because she's mad, or bitter. It's just what it is; she'd be a fool to hope for anything more.
Sakura doesn't know if her thoughts are just so obviously written on her face or Ino can read her like an open book, but the blonde reaches from across the table and grips her hand, drawing her away from her abyss.
"I know he's fucked up a lot… but at least give him the chance to try Sakura."
She doesn't even know what the hell that's supposed to mean.
They meet in front of the old high school building, like he asked.
He's stooped at the front steps, with rolls and rolls of dusty blueprints under his arms. If she didn't know him, she'd have thought that the bored scowl he has in place meant he's angry. She'd call it resting bitch face but Gaara always got amusingly annoyed at the term.
"Well hey there stranger.
Sakura almost can't breathe when his eyes soften at the sight of her. That's something that she searched a long time for, something she thought she'd never have. Why would she let that go?
He pats the space on the concrete beside him and for a while they just sit in their own little silence.
Back in Suna, things with Gaara hadn't been easy, but it was simple. He was a steady, comforting presence in her life and it felt right. Someone to talk to and vent to, someone to celebrate with and commiserate with.
But now, with her past rearing its head along the edges, they weren't even any of those things.
She can't decide if the poison is Konoha, or Sasuke… or maybe it's her. A slow-burning poison that eats people up and destroys them from the inside.
"I'm going back to Suna."
"What? Why?"
"Relax." He tells her. "I'm done with my research here and I need to get back to the firm so we can start on drafting the architectural and mechanical drawings."
"Good. I thought— never mind." Sakura shakes her head. What was she going to tell him? I thought you were leaving because you were breaking up with me? Because I've been staying at my ex-boyfriend's house?
Great. Another secret.
Little by little, the wall was coming back up again.
"Sakura, I'm not… insensitive. I know that's something's up here— I'm pretty sure I know what it's about." Gaara takes her hand in his and kisses it. "I'll let you banish your demons. Then come back to me. If you still want to."
It was already getting dark when she got back to the house… Sasuke's house.
There were no lights open and if it wasn't for the clinking of plates and glass and the sound of rushing water, she would have thought no one was home.
As quietly as she could, she creeps along the hallway and peers into kitchen. She has no idea what to say or what she should say. But she just feels the need to see him. She just wants to see him.
And there he is, his back to her.
Much like that morning, Sasuke's clad in just a pair of jeans. Why he's washing dishes in the dark, she doesn't know. Especially since she remembers he never liked that chore before— always used to pawn it off to her. Living alone, she guesses he doesn't really have any choice.
Sakura leans on the door jamb and just watches Sasuke— the muscles along his back and his arms as he goes about what he's doing, the way the soft light of the disappearing sun pouring in from the window made a sort of glowing line around him.
It wasn't only bad memories they created here, right?
They may have been few, but there were times when they were actually happy.
"Stop staring at me Sakura."
"How did you know I was here?" Thank goodness it's too dim for him to notice her blush.
Sasuke half-turns and looks her over with an intensity that had her stomach tensing. "I always know when your near Sakura."
And just like that, he has her mouth drying up. Such a Sasuke thing to say. Bastard.
"Are you going to sleep here tonight?"
He turns the faucet off and wipes his hands on his pants. "I live here Sakura. Where else am I supposed to sleep?"
"I just— I'm not sure when you got home so I assumed that you… spent the night somewhere else?"
She can barely see his eyebrow rise and she's starting to regret even asking. But like a kid poking at a scab, she feels like she just had to put it out there. To know. And sue her, but she had a shit day courtesy of a redhead nurse.
"To answer the question you didn't ask," he starts, and moves closer to her, "No, I didn't sleep with Karin. I was at the office."
"Oh." She expels the breath she didn't realize she was holding. "Look, I need to talk to you… about the thing I did ask you a day ago."
She can distinctly feel the loss of warmth when Sasuke bristles and walks away to the table. And she has zero ideas about what he's mad about now. Or maybe, like Ino thinks, she does know and she's just denying it. "Go on, talk."
"I'm sorry." She rushes in. "I'm sorry that I asked that of you even though I had a… I just wanted to clear that what I meant to ask about was what you wanted in life."
"You mean like what are my plans, right?"
"Yes, that's what I—"
"Bullshit!" Sasuke slams his fist into the wooden table and her heart jumps into her throat. "That not what you meant and you know it. I know it. You know that I know it."
Because she can't find her voice yet, she settles for a glare that holds all of her fury and all her frustration at him because who the hell is he to her for him to presume to know what she thinks. After everything. She knows it doesn't make sense but she throws it all at him anyway, and he's giving it back in full measure.
"You know what I think? You got an answer that you didn't like and now you're trying to take it back so you don't have to deal with it." Sasuke advances towards her again, radiating power and danger, and she finds herself stepping back into the hallway wall. "Well where the fuck do you get off?"
But she's not afraid. He wouldn't raise his hands to her, she knows. But that doesn't stop her from placing her hands on his shoulders, feeling all the tension under her palms, trying to put space between them. He's so damn close, she could feel all of him.
They're breathing the same air.
No, she's not afraid of him.
She's afraid he won't leave.
Sasuke grazes the side of her face with his knuckles with a tenderness that she doesn't expect. All the anger in his eyes has melted and replaced by something she can't recognize. "Stop running away Sakura."
"I'm going to ask you the question you really wanted to ask me then." Sasuke sighs and backs away. "What do you want… from me?"
Sakura stands in the hallway long after Sasuke had gone, and his words repeats itself in her mind long after she finally realized that he had.
Why did he have to be right?
A/N: Well how's that for updating faster? You didn't expect it did you? Probably thought you'd have to wait another few months didn't you? Glad to prove you wrong then, and hopefully I'll continue doing so. I'm getting back to my schedule and it's actually giving me back my rhythm. Yeah!
Anyway. About this chapter. Believe it or not, it could have ended more explosively. Believe you me. But I'm choosing to let it build momentum. There are still some things that need to be said and done. And realized.
Also, I'd love to hear what you guys think about Sasuke's relationship with Asami and Sakura. What do you guys think happened? I just wanna make sure I was clear.
Lastly, a reviewer mentioned 'Thank Your Stars All You Want'. I didn't know anyone was expecting anything about that, I believe I started it before FOS. I think I might semi-focus on that along with 'Nyx', after I finish this fic.