It's a strong smell that hits him hard the next morning.
It makes him want to be sick, but it also smells extremely good, but mostly, it just makes him want to be really sick. He feels it growing and building in his stomach, and then it slaps him straight in the face, and before he's registered what's going on or where the hell he is, he hops off of the mattress and runs straight into the bathroom, slams the door, and leans over the toilet.
Dean's body was shivering and he could feel this terrible throbbing in his head as he continued to hurl up whatever was left in his stomach from last night. There's a pounding in his chest that he's not entirely sure is his heart, and it starts to calm down when he's finished and just leaning his head against the side of the toilet seat.
His head is still throbbing rapidly, and his breathing starts to reside, and all he can taste is this weird, bitter acid and the slightest faint flavor of whiskey. Dean barely remembers anything of what happened last night, so he decides to run his hand over his face to rid the sweat, but then realizes it's an extremely bad idea when he feels his face ache and sting underneath his hand.
Shit.
It's all coming back. Not all of it, but little bits and pieces of it that Dean really wishes he hadn't remembered.
There was alcohol, lots of alcohol, and a girl that he can't really remember her face but he remembers that she was one hell of a lady. And then there was more alcohol, and fighting, lots of fighting.
He grimaces as he flushes the toilet and stands, walking over to the mirror and taking a good, long look at himself.
Holy shit.
There's one hell of a bruise under and around his left eye, followed by a very small nick above his right eyebrow, and a tiny, little gash on his bottom lip that decided to start bleeding a little bit, and is now leaking tiny droplets of blood down his chin. He wipes the blood from his face and washes his hands
Holy fuck.
Distracted for a while with the marks on his face, Dean finally realizes something.
This is not his bathroom. His bathroom is way smaller, and this one is almost twice the size of his. And most importantly, he realizes that he is not wearing the shirt he had on when he left with last night. God for bid, he's not wearing any of the clothes he had on last night. He is wearing a t-shirt and shorts, be he doesn't even recognize the clothes as being stuff that he owns.
Holy fucking shit.
Dean knows he didn't go home with anyone last night, because he knows he's in the hotel from the looks of the bathroom. He swallows hard, stepping slowly outside the bathroom, and into a much bigger hotel room than his. The bed is a king, not a queen, and there's a huge double screen door leading out to a balcony, which Dean doesn't have. There's a door opening in front of the bed, and Dean slowly creeps to it.
"Another fucking room?" Dean whispers, coming across a T.V. that is is fucking gigantic, complete with DVD player and sound station, both of which Dean does not have in his room. There's a black leather sofa and love-seat in front of it, complete with glass coffee table and everything. He turns to his right, and then comes to a complete halt.
Oh my fucking GOD.
"Good morning, Dean. I hope I didn't wake you."
Dean's jaw drops as he stares at Castiel, behind a kitchen counter, shirtless, and making breakfast. Dean parts his mouth, but there is nothing on this Earth that he can say right now because the air has been completely sucked out of him.
Cas steps out from behind the counter, so Dean has a full view. And Dean's almost 100% positive that he forgets how to breathe, because Castiel definitely works out. There's not an ounce of fat on the guys body, just full, pure, muscle. Not like carved and photoshopped abs, but definitely muscular enough. He's wearing a pair of grey sweatpants that are a little too big for him, and they fall ever so slightly that they're resting on the points of his hipbones, just enough that Dean can see the "V" of his hips.
Dean's eyes fall across his body and he tries to pull them back up to meet Castiel's eyes, but its nearly impossible. He's finally able to gather enough willpower to lock his eyes back up Castiel's.
Dean grips his stomach, a sudden strange feeling twists around and he debates whether to run to the bathroom or not incase he might be sick again. But he realizes, he doesn't feel sick, at all. He knows this feeling. He's felt it all too much. He moves his hands from his stomach down slowly and casually, palming himself over his basketball shorts, and he freezes.
Dean's hard.
Dean's horny.
He swallows, scared that Cas might look down and realize his situation. Dean's eyes find Castiel's again, and thank god, he doesn't notice at all. He crosses his legs a little, pulling the t-shirt down a little bit in attempt to cover the slight bulge in his pants.
"Why am I-why are you—" Dean stutters, gesturing to himself, then to Castiel. Castiel's smiling brightly and it's making Dean's heart flutter.
"Why are you here?" Castiel says, finishing for him. He crosses his arms over his chest and Dean's almost a little disappointed at the loss of vision.
No! Stop! He's a fucking guy! C'mon Winchester, you're not gay! Think of boobs!
Dean manages to only nod. Castiel walks by him and over to his dresser as he pulls out a plain black t-shirt and slings it over his body. "Sorry," He groans, "I wasn't expecting you to wake up for a while. I meant to put the shirt on a while ago, but you didn't appear to be waking up anytime soon, so..." He says as he shrugs his shoulders.
Dean furrows his brow, because that doesn't answer his question about why the hell he's in Castiel's room. Castiel walks by him again, returns to the kitchen and turns off the stove. He takes pancakes off the pan and slides them onto a plate before adding a dab of butter, syrup, and some cut up strawberries. Castiel smiles at Dean as he puts the plate on the counter.
"I made breakfast if you want some." He says.
Now that everything's out of his stomach and he feels a little bit better despite the mild headache, Dean is hungry, and he's not going to pass up free food when it's blatantly sitting right there in front of him. He bites his tongue, walks over to the counter and sits in a wooden stool and pulls the plate in front of him.
Thankfully, Dean's situation has dimmed down enough that he can sit down normally without having to worry.
Castiel is still smiling at him. "How are you feeling?"
Dean looks up at him with a mouthful of pancakes. "Fine." He mutters.
"Are you sure?" Castiel groans apprehensively, "You were rather ill last night."
Dean chews his food slowly. Castiel is staring at him with this odd look that makes Dean's chest feel weird. Castiel's eyes are making it hard for him to swallow his food, and when he does, there's this really big lump in his throat.
Dean's hands start to sweat again. "I don't remember last night too well." He says, and then realizes that was a really bad idea because he knows Castiel is going to tell him what happened, and Dean really doesn't need to hear about how he probably made a fool of himself.
Castiel laughs. "Well you were quite intoxicated, I can tell you that. Uh, a lovely girl brought you here, told me that you asked her to bring you to my room."
Shit. Shit. Shit. Fucking shit. Why did I say Cas' room? Fuck!
"I, uh-I," Dean falters, but there's really no excuse he can come up with fast enough to get him through that one. He said Cas' room because it was the only thing he could remember, and if Dean told Castiel that...
"It's alright, Dean. I didn't mind at all. I'm glad you're alright."
Dean swallows. He feels like shit. Castiel took him in, took care of him when he didn't deserve to be taken care of. What Dean said to Castiel last night, was not okay. Dean had blamed Cas for everything, even when the only person to blame was himself. And he feels like fucking shit.
Dean can't even bring himself to apologize. Because he's scared. He's terrified.
"Yes, uh, thank you, Cas." Is all Dean manages to mutter out.
Cas nods. It's silent for a while, and Dean tries to eat but his appetite is slowly fading and all he feels is this nervous hole being carved in the center of his chest.
"How does your face feel?"
Dean looks up from his plate and meets those damn eyes of his again. He laughs, "Pretty bad, huh?"
Cas returns the gesture as he walks past Dean and sits in the stool beside him. "No. I'd say it's a step up, to be fairly honest." He smiles.
Dean laughs and throws his head back as he grabs his stomach. "Oh thank God. I guess I can cancel my appointment with my plastic surgeon."
Cas giggles, and Dean just watches as his nose crinkles and his gums peak out from his mouth, and there's this one moment where he can feel everything else just disappear completely, and it's just him and Castiel. Cas leans into him, his eyes fixing sharply on the gash right above his eyebrow. His thumb brushes against it, and Dean feels a small sting when Cas' skin touches his.
He's really close. Like, uncomfortably close. Dean should be freaking out, telling him to back the fuck off. But, he's not.
"I'm sorry this happened to you, Dean." Castiel whispers, and Dean can smell hot breath lingering on his neck that smells like fresh spearmint toothpaste and coffee.
Tell him to back off, Dean! Why aren't you telling him to get away?
There's suddenly a loud blaring bang at the door, and Cas jumps and pulls his hand away from Dean's face.
Cas clears his throat and looks at the silver watch on his wrist. "Shit, he's early."
Dean swallows.
He?
"Who's early?" Dean asks, standing from his stool.
Cas opens the door which is adjacent to the kitchen, and some little, pudgy looking guy barges right past him and into the room.
"Oh boy, Cassie, you have really out done yourself with this place." He says, his eyes wandering aimlessly around the room. His eyes land on Dean and he grins almost as big as the fucking Cheshire Cat. "And who's this? Cas, did you buy yourself another Abercrombie model?"
Dean narrows his brows and he parts his mouth. "What?"
Castiel steps out from behind the guy, who's still grinning widely at Dean, making him uncomfortable. "Dean, this is my brother, Gabriel Milton. Gabe, this is my friend, Dean Winchester."
Dean lurks at the word 'friend'.
Gabriel steps forward and reaches his hand out, "Good to meet ya, Dean-o. Damn, nice shiner there, bud."
Dean's almost reluctant to take it, because holy shit, he thinks this guy has lost every single one of his fucking marbles. Just the way his face is built makes him looks all kinds of crazy, and the way he's talking to Dean isn't really making him seem less insane. But, for Castiel's sake, Dean reaches his hand out and shakes it. "Bar fight."
Gabriel is still grinning at him. "Wish I saw it. Call me Gabe." He says with a laugh, eying Dean's bruise.
Dean nods. It's oddly weird for Dean, to start meeting Cas' family. It's not like it was planned, but still, it feels compellingly strange, and the way Gabe is staring at him like he's hiding something makes Dean feel like he just needs to run as far away from the hotel as possible.
"I didn't expect you this early. I still have to change into my suit." Cas says, walking over to the small closest and pulling out a black suit and blue tie. Dean still has no idea what's going on, and he's lost all his appetite, so he just stands by the counter with a blank expression on his face, trying to find any excuse to get him the hell out of the hotel room.
Castiel eyes Dean and picks up on his confusion, "Oh gosh, my apologies, Dean. I have to go to a meeting in about an hour. I sent your clothes down to the laundry mat on the first floor if you need to pick them up. You're welcome to stay here after I leave, if you'd like."
Dean instantly shakes his head.
Oh, no no no no no no no. No way.
If that isn't another invite, Dean doesn't know what is. He's already having a hard time controlling himself around Cas, and the last thing he needs is another reason to stay in the room. If he doesn't get out of there soon, he knows he won't ever leave.
Cas nods and Gabriel chuckles.
"Sorry," Dean adds cautiously, "I just need to get home and call my brother. Check up on plans and stuff."
Gabe peeks at this, his eyebrows raise as he tilts his head. "Brother, huh?"
"Knock it off, Gabe." Cas butts in, his voice low and serious. Gabe makes a tsk sound and smirks at Dean.
Dean grins. He can pick up a hint when it's blatantly stated right in front of him. Alright, Gabriel Milton was gay, so what?
Does that make Cas gay?
Dean shakes his head. Why do you care? Stop. You don't care. You don't give a shit, Dean. You don't.
The pancakes in his stomach suddenly aren't sitting so well, and Dean knows he needs to get out of that hotel room. And fast.
"C'mon, Cassie!" Gabe pouts, watching Castiel sling the tan trench coat over his arms, "I've got Baby running."
Castiel huffs. "Why on earth would you have the Impala running? You're wasting gas, you idiot!"
"Hey, I thought we'd been in 'n out. I didn't expect Mr. Model Man over here, alright?" Gabe gestures to Dean and gives him a wink.
Dean blushes and laughs. "Wait, an Impala? Like—"
"A 1967 Chevy," Castiel interrupts, trench coat hung over his shoulders and briefcase tightly in hand. "You a fan of classic cars?"
"Hell yes!"
"You can come see Her, she doesn't bite," Gabe smirks, opening the door and walking out into the hallway. Dean smiles and follows him almost instantly.
"I used to have a 1965 Mustang Fastback. Cherry red, ugh-She was gorgeous." Dean remarks as he's walking down the carpet covered floor, forgetting completely that he has no shoes on. "But my Dad sold it."
Castiel pats him on the back. "I'm sorry to hear that." He says. His arm falls and it's now brushing along Dean's exposed skin, and Dean wishes that Cas had the trench coat off so he could feel Castiel's arm, instead of the thick cloth.
Dean nods at him, and suddenly feels a little uncomfortable standing in the tight elevator next to Cas, where Dean's standing so close he can smell this strange mix of syrup and cologne lingering off him. It's weird, but Dean kinda likes it.
Being with Cas was all kinda weird, but Dean likes it.
The elevator shakes a little and the light flickers, causing all three men to jolt and shake, but it still keeps moving down to the lobby.
"Shit, thought it was gonna break down for a second." Dean scoffs, and Gabe starts laughing.
Gabe leans in from behind Dean. "It'd get cold in here, we'd all have to huddle to keep warm. I've heard it's warmer if you take your clothes off—"
Cas whacks him in the stomach and gives him a solid bitch-face before he turns to Dean. "Please excuse my brother, he hasn't really moved on past his horny teenage boy stage."
Gabe laughs at them when the elevator doors open. "And I never really will Cassie."
Castiel rolls his eyes as he walks out the door, a gust of wind blowing behind him that leaves a smack of syrup and cologne on Dean's face. Gabe pushes past him, running out the door and into the warm California weather and into the parking lot.
Dean lays his eyes on the car. "Holy. Fucking. Shit."
She's sleek black, shiny and in perfect mint condition with a shimmering silver bumper. Dean walks around the side, running his fingers over the humming top and onto the curve of her side, peering into the silky white leather seats. She's the most beautiful thing Dean has ever seen, and it's almost surprising because Dean could've sworn he's almost a little into the car itself.
"She's a beaut, isn't she?" Gabe asks, patting the hood.
Dean nods. "She's stunning."
"Maybe you can take 'er for a ride one of these days. I don't mind."
"Of course you don't mind, Gabe," Cas scoffs as he trudges into the passengers seat, "You only take the car out for business trips and long rides. You never use 'er otherwise."
"Doesn't mean I can't appreciate a babe when I see one!"
Dean smiles. A babe was right. This damn car was almost as gorgeous as Castiel's eyes. Almost, but not quite there yet.
Gabe pats him on the shoulder. "Alright Dean-o, we gotta hit the road. I hope I see you soon, and if I do, mind bringing that brother of yours?" He smirks, brushing past Dean and sliding into the front seat.
Dean leans down. "He's getting married, dude. I would but—"
"I like a good challenge." Gabe laughs, giving Dean a once over before turning to Castiel. "Cassie likes a challenge too, don't 'cha, bro?"
Castiel blushes, massively, before he whacks Gabe in the stomach again. "We're late, dumbass!"
"Catch ya later, Dean!" Gabe shouts, the engine humming loudly as he drives away. Dean see's Cas waving to him through the window, and he waves back with a big, wide grin on his face.
Castiel likes challenges.
And Dean is one hell of a challenge.
"Are the hotel rooms nice?"
"Yeah, they're not bad. There's a great view of the beach from my window."
"Oh that sounds beautiful."
"Yeah, I guess so."
"So, you said the wedding was postponed 'til when?"
"Thursday."
"That's crazy, Dean. Just ridiculous!"
"Lisa, I know. Trust me, I know. But Sam has offered to pay for the extra days."
"And what about Ben?"
"What about him?"
"He's your responsibility, Dean."
"Don't start this with me again. He's not mine to begin with-"
"He's yours now!"
"Lisa, I'm not doing this right now, okay? I've had a long day, I'm tired, and I want to relax. Can we just not fight? For once?"
"Fine. You're right. It's late over here, and I should be getting to bed. Goodnight, Dean. I'll talk to you later."
"Okay. Night."
Dean hangs up, sits on the bed and sighs. Conversations like that don't phase him, because that's what a normal conversation is between them. Dean turns on the T.V. and even laughs a little, because Lisa was even being slightly nicer to him. He's used to it by now; the constant bickering like an old married couple and the occasional sleeping-on-the-couch nights.
It even took a few days to convince Lisa to stay home for the wedding and take care of Ben, even when he didn't need any being taken care of. Thanks to Ben's lame excuses, Lisa caved in and stayed home and let Dean go to the wedding by himself. Sam and Ruby were perfectly okay with that, considering they both hate Lisa down to her very core; which is surprising because Lisa being a she-devil was one thing that Ruby and Dean can agree on.
Dean lays back on the bed, his back propped up on a few pillows. He rubs his bare stomach when it begins to growl, and he realizes the only thing he's eaten all day is the little chunk of strawberry pancakes that Cas made him, but that was over 6 hours ago, and now it's 5 o'clock in the afternoon and his stomach is practically screaming at him to get some food. He doesn't want to eat alone, and he starts wondering if it would be okay to ask Cas to dinner...
"No," Dean sighs, pulling himself up to his feet. "Nah, that's weird...is it weird? It's just two friends getting a burger or something, that's not classified as weird, right? No, no, definitely not."
Dean throws a red and brown plaid shirt over his gray t-shirt and starts to shimmy a pair of ratty jeans on. He has the jeans halfway up his legs when he stops. "Wait, why are you talking to yourself?" He whispers, his eyebrows creasing.
A warm feeling spreads across his stomach again, and he recognizes it as the feeling he gets when he's around Cas. Castiel is making him do all sorts of weird things that his body doesn't recognize, and he has no idea to react to it other than to deny himself of his feelings.
And his feelings, just keep getting stronger and stronger.
He's not denying them anymore, because now he's damn well positive that he is attracted to Castiel, and he's damn well positive that he's never experienced this level of attraction to anyone else.
With that, Dean's now decided to go next door and ask Castiel Milton to dinner.
Just as friends...nothing more...don't get your hopes up...
Dean huffs and makes his way to the door and grabs the doorknob before he pauses again. "Cologne." He says flatly before he runs over to his suitcase and rips the clothes apart for the little bottle in his bag, "Yeah, nothing wrong with smelling good, right? No, I just don't want to smell bad. Yeah, that's it. I just don't want to smell bad."
He grins when he finds what he's looking for, and then sprays a little more than a decent amount on himself, rubbing the incense in on his neck. Dean sighs satisfyingly, and then makes his way to the door again. His hands grips the knob, but he stops, again.
"Hair." He groans, skipping to the bathroom and checking his hair in the mirror. He decides it's not up to it's full potential, so he grabs the hair gel and squirts a little more than a decent amount on his hand before he runs it through his hair, making sure the front strands stick up in a way that he knows will usually make the girls fall head over heels, and he wonders if it'll have the same affect on guys.
He grimaces at the bruises and cuts still around him, and he prays and prays that Castiel won't mind.
"Will this even work on him? Does he even pay attention to my hair?"
Dean shakes his head. He knows he's getting too invested in this, and now he's feeling like a teenage girl getting ready for her first date. Once he's satisfied with his hair, he talks himself into licking up a little bit of toothpaste, just because, why not?
He finally enables himself to walk through the door and out into the hall, and now he's standing outside Cas' room like a weird stalker. His hearts pounding against his ribs, and he hopes he put on enough cologne because he can feel himself already begin to sweat.
Alright, Winchester. Just. Do. It. What's the worst he can say?
Dean swallows. No. He can say no.
And he doesn't even realize it, but his hand pounds on the door, hesitant and quick. And now he waits.
Ten seconds goes by, and his hearts still pounding, but he's still breathing.
Twenty seconds, and now it's getting harder to breathe and the air becomes a lot thicker than Dean can remember.
Thirty seconds, and now Dean's positive he's sweat all of the cologne off of his body.
And now he's lost count of how long its been, or how long he's stopped breathing, or how long he has left in his life because he's sure it's about to end at any moment now.
"No, he's just still at work, right?" Dean shakes his head and begins walking down the hall. "Yeah, yeah he's the CEO of a company, of course he's still working." He whispers. Dean wipes his palms on his shirt, because they're gross and sweaty and practically shaking.
He steps into the elevator, and the music is annoyingly loud and obnoxious, but it somewhat soothes him a little. The ride is slow, and the music is crackling and cutting off vigorously. And then the elevator shakes, just like before when he was with Gabe and Castiel. The music cuts off, and Dean finishes the ride with complete discomfort. The doors hesitate to creak open, and when they finally do, whatever breath is left in Dean's lungs, is now gone.
"Dean! Unexpected surprise!"
Dean's jaw gapes open. He did not see this one coming. "Cas, wow, uh-hey."
Cas smiles brightly at him, and Dean notices that the bags under his eyes have sunken deeper into his skin. Dean can tell Cas is tired and exhausted, but he's happy to see that Castiel can smile through it, unlike him.
"Headed somewhere?" Cas asks as he steps into the elevator with his briefcase.
Shit.
Dean parts his mouth, but he can't come up with an answer fast enough, and he blurts out the first thing on his mind, which substantially, was an awful idea on Dean's part.
"You wanna go grab something to eat?" Dean shouts, and then bites the inside of his cheek after.
Shit shit shit!
Cas laughs and stares at him for a few seconds. "I'd like that. Would you mind if I went to bring my bag upstairs first?"
Dean raises his eyebrows. He said yes, holy shit, he said yes! Dean thinks, and his smiling so wide his cheeks hurt. "Yeah sure, f'course."
Cas smiles and Dean steps back into the elevator. It's silent on the way up and a little awkward, but Dean's a little glad because it gives him time to cool down. The elevator's still a little shaky and the doors resist to open again, but they do eventually and Cas runs out.
"I'll be back in a few moments, I promise!" Cas yells to him as he's running down the hall, his trench coat flapping behind him.
Dean stands outside the elevator doors, as he watches Castiel fumble with his hotel key and smile at him before he steps inside. Dean laughs at him, and then smiles when Cas is inside.
He likes Castiel.
And that's a problem.
A few minutes later, Cas comes out, and Dean's jaw drops.
Castiel Milton does not look like the same guy Dean just saw five minutes ago. The Castiel Milton that Dean saw before had his hair slicked back and combed neatly, his eyes tired and wasted with the creases in his eyes, his tie slightly askew against his black suit, and his long raggedy trench coat that dangled too far down his hands.
Now, Castiel Milton has his hair mussed in all different directions, a grey hoodie on that was a little too big for him with a Kansas Jayhawks logo on the front, and old, patchy worn out jeans. And his eyes, his eyes were sparkling more than Dean had ever seen him, the circles around his eyes seemed to disappear. Castiel Milton, looked down-right hot.
"Sorry," He says when he comes towards Dean, "I hope you don't mind I dressed down."
Dean shakes his head. "Oh, no, not at all. It looks really uh-nice. Well I mean, the clothes-their, uh-their fine, I didn't mean-" Dean cuts himself off.
Smooth like butter, Winchester.
Castiel laughs at him as he passes by, leaving a whiff of cologne against his nose. "It's alright, Dean. I knew what you meant."
Dean nods and bites his tongue. No, Cas didn't know what Dean meant. Not at all.
They step into the elevator, and Cas takes a deep breath. "So where we going? Any ideas?"
Dean scoffs. He had no idea where to go, mainly because he had no idea where Cas would want to go. Dean's fine with a nice, big bacon cheeseburger and a plate of fries but Cas comes across as a guy who likes expensive meals, and Dean cannot afford that right now.
Dean sighs. "Well, uh-um, I don't know, uh-maybe-"
Cas butts in. "I could just go for a burger or something. To be honest, fancy restaurants are overrated."
Dean feels his heart skip a beat. If he wasn't sure of his feelings towards Castiel before, he is now, because that just got him a solid level up. Dean smirks, adverting his eyes to the sparkling ones of Cas. "Sounds good to me."
The elevator doors close, and they begin to move down slowly. The music crackles again, until it completely shuts off.
"Damn," Cas says with a giggle, "Such a nice hotel, you'd think the elevators would be-"
There's a very loud bang, like something had just snapped, and the elevator completely stops. The lights go off, and now the elevator is faintly lit, but Dean can see still Castiel well enough to see that he's panicking.
Dean looks around the elevator, and there's a small red blinking light on the third floor button. "What the-?"
"It appears we've stopped." Cas groans deeply.
Dean lets out a heavy breath. "How'd you figure out that one, Sherlock?" He laughs.
Cas rolls his eyes. "Just stating the obvious," He mutters, stepping in front of Dean to examine the button panel. He runs his fingers over the buttons until he finds one with a little phone on it. "I think this is it." He says dryly before he presses the button. There's a long pause, and then theres static coming from over their heads. Cas presses the button again and the static stops. "Well, shit."
Dean runs his fingers through his hair. This was the last outcome he expected from this, but somehow, in the grand scheme of things, he was kind've okay with it. "At least we can catch up," Dean laughs. He bends over and sits down on the cold floor of the elevator against the wall and watches as the confusion on Castiel's face grows.
"What're you doing?" Cas asks as he looks down at him with his brows furrowed.
Dean shrugs. "Who knows how long we'll be in here? Why stand when you can sit."
Castiel shakes his head and laughs. "C'mon, there's bound to be an alarm going off or something, I mean, they can't just not realize this?"
Cas was freaking out, and Dean could understand that, but he knew eventually that someone would notice the elevator was broken. "They will notice, Cas. In the mean time, why don't you just pop a squat with me, huh?"
Cas glares at him with a smirk. "Do you have a phone? Or something?"
Dean swallows. He does have his phone. It's in his back pocket.
Don't you dare take that phone out, Winchester.
Dean tilts his head. This is his chance to get closer to Castiel, and alright yeah, he was going to lie to him, but they would only be there for a little while, so, why the hell not?
"No, left it in the hotel room."
Cas huffs. "Fuck!" He grunts, and then plops down on the ground on the other side of Dean, making the elevator shake.
"What?" Dean laughs, "Don't wanna be stuck in an elevator with a guy like me?"
Cas folds his legs together and looks up at him, cocking his head. "A guy like you? What do you mean?"
A guy like me.
Dean clashes his teeth together. A guy like him. And now he's reminded of what he had said to Castiel the day before, and how he'd pushed him and yelled at him for absolutely no reason at all but to just blame someone other than himself. Dean parts his mouth, but is suddenly blocked by his own breath. He wants to apologize, tell Cas that he's glad he'd met him.
"Nothing, nevermind." Dean says.
Cas grins a little. "Oh," He nods. Cas looks at him, his gaze switching from Dean's lips to his eyes. "How are you feeling? Better than this morning, I assume?"
Dean scoffs and rolls his eyes. He'd forgotten how ugly he looks, and now he feels his face begin to heat up, and he knows he's turning red by the grin plastered against Castiel's face. "Better. I have a very high pain tolerance. Nothin' really hurts me too much."
"I guess I'm the opposite. One paper-cut and I'll be complaining for days." Cas laughs.
"Man," Dean says as he throws his hands up, "Paper-cuts, those fuckers."
Cas laughs, and Dean feels his heart pound when Cas' nose crinkles. Dean's staring at him, watching him laugh and giggle, and he just can't seem to look away, because he's actually beautiful. Cas catches him staring, and his wide smile turns into an innocent grin as his face sinks into his sweatshirt.
Dean clears his throat, embarrassed for letting himself get caught. He comes up with the first thing that runs through his mind, "So, you ever been to California before?"
Cas' head comes out of his sweatshirt. "Yes, my brother and sister and I, we'd always drive down from our house in Kansas. We'd drive miles and miles, all the way down Route 66, and we'd just have so much fun." Cas smiles. He's grinning down at the ground, as if replaying the memories in his head.
"Did you take the Impala?"
Cas breaks from the ground to lock eyes with Dean. "Of course. It's actually my car, but I gave it to Gabe when I moved to New York. Now he just uses it to drive across the country for business trips, instead of having to take a plane. Such a waste of a beautiful car."
Dean beams at him. He does like a guy with good taste. "So, you've been to all the parks and stuff right? Disneyland and Universal and whatever? Me and Sammy, we used to come all the time when I was in college. Love it there."
Cas smiles brightly but shakes his head. "No, I've never been."
Dean's jaw drops. "What? Dude, you come to Cali a lot and you've never been to Disney? You serious, man?"
Cas shrugs his shoulders. "I don't know! I've just never had the time, I guess."
Dean bites his cheek. He knows he shouldn't. Taking Cas to Disney would waste a hell of a lot of money that Dean could use on something more important, but he just can't resist, and it slips from his mouth before he has a chance to change his mind. "I'm taking you to Disneyland. And I'm not taking no for an answer."
Cas palms his face in his hands. "Dean, no I couldn't, I have work and-"
Dean holds his hands in front of him. "Excuse me? What did I just say? I don't give a flying fuck about your work shit, kay? I'm taking you to goddamn Disneyland, because that's where the fucking magic happens. And I'm not taking no for an answer."
Cas bursts out into a laughing fit, so much he actually keels over a little against the floor, which makes Dean break into a laughing fit too, and soon the both of them are on the floor laughing hysterically for no reason at all. Dean holds his stomach, because it hurts from laughing too much. He stares at Cas, bundled up on the floor and holding his face, a silky pink color smeared across his cheeks. His eyes are tightly shut, and Dean doesn't even realize he's moving closer until Cas opens his eyes and sits up.
And Dean has no fucking idea why it comes out now, but it slips from his mouth before he's even registered the thought.
"I'm sorry for what I said to you last night, Cas. I didn't mean it at all. I was angry and I needed someone to blame and you were there, and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Dean says, folding his legs together as he sits only a few feet away from Cas now. Cas looks at him, and the silky pink has now darkened into a deep red. His eyes are wide and glassy, and Dean thinks that Cas is about to cry from just the way he looks.
Cas swallows. "That's alright, D-"
"No, it's not." Dean butts in, and he moves closer to Cas, "What I said to you wasn't alright. It was awful and I'm so fucking sorry."
Cas nods and a smile grows on his face. "Dean, please, it's really okay. I'm okay. It's over, and I'm okay."
Cas is reassuring him, but Dean doesn't feel any better. Cas looks so innocent, so endearing, and his lips are only inches away now, and Dean doesn't realize he's moving closer until he feels hot breath on him. Cas' eyes widen, his lips are parted open and quivering. Dean feels a deep, intense desire shoot through his belly, and he can't seem to take his eyes off Castiel's swollen pink lips. They're just waiting to be touched.
And Dean's getting closer..
And closer...
And-
"Hello? Is anyone in here?"
Dean jumps, his whole body is sent flying backwards as he stares harshly at the speaker at the top of the elevator.
"Hello?" Dean yells. His heart's still pounding so much he feels like his ribs are going to break. He's breathing heavily, his hands shaking with every movement, "Ye-yes, we're, we're in here."
"Oh my, we are so awfully sorry. We have people fixing the elevator's at this very moment and we will be sending people down to get you. We are so sorry for the inconvenience, and we'd like to offer you a free night at the hotel for the nuisance."
"Uh-thanks." Dean mutters slowly.
He was about to kiss him.
Dean's mind spins, and he doesn't know whether he had a momentary doubt, or whether he'd actually wanted to kiss Castiel. He's come to terms with his attraction towards him, but this, this was a whole other step. This was cheating, cheating on Lisa, but somehow, he still wants to do it.
"It's late, Dean. Maybe we should just go back up to our rooms."
Dean looks up, and Cas gapes away. He tilts his head, wishing that Cas would reunite his eyes with his own and save him the constant worry. "But it's not that late-"
"I'm tired." Cas cuts in, and he tangles his hands together and folds them in his lap.
Dean fucked up, and he knew it to. It was all disguised irony, and now he knows that Castiel doesn't feel the same way about Dean as Dean does for him.
And it's hurting him badly.
Now it's silent in the elevator, and Dean feels his head begin to throb against his skull. He tries to cover his face in his hands to hide his cheeks but there's this grey aura around him that won't seem to pass. He was stupid to ever think that a successful guy like Castiel Milton would ever like a guy like him, and now Dean's caught himself in a bear trap, and the only way to break free won't be easy, and most definitely wont be painless.
Minutes that feel like hours pass by, until there's a small knock on the elevator door, followed by a strong voice.
"Hello?"
Dean's shoots his head up. "Yeah, we're in here."
There's a pause, and then a large bang, and soon the elevator doors fly open, a pair of firefighters standing before them. Somehow the fresh air isn't welcoming to Dean, and he feels like he's choking on sentimental regret.
The firefighter puts down the crow bar and reaches a hand out to Dean to help him up. "Are you two alright?" He says.
Dean nods, and then he turns to Cas and reaches his hand out, but all Cas does is ignore it and push himself up.
"We're fine." Castiel exclaims as he pushes past the firefighters and Dean, before he turns the corner and disappears into the hallway. Dean watches him leave, eying the back of his messy head, wishing he could just run his fingers through it and hold Cas close to him.
But no, he's fucked that up too, and now Dean's positive he knows the true feeling of heartbreak.