Chapter 20

The observation deck was a plain room, but the few soft seats that were pushed to the back of the room. The window, that looked out into space, took up the entire room. It curved outwards into the unknown, each curved rectangle separated by thin black. Spock was there. He didn't turn as Kirk walked in with a pad under one arm. Both his hands rested gently on the railing.
"I didn't expect to find you here." Kirk said.
"Were you looking for me?" Spock asked his voice the usual monotone, although he did not turn to look at Kirk. It was odd now, he'd been looking up at Kirk for so long the last few weeks, and yet, he knew if he turned to meet his face, he still would be.
"I noticed you weren't in the diner for dinner, but I thought you might be resting and didn't want to disturb you. I was just looking for somewhere quiet to work." Kirk said.
"It's late to be working." Spock said.
"Yeah, well I know. I just have some last minute reports." Kirk said and stood next to Spock "nothing you've never done before."
Kirk looked outside trying to see what Spock was looking at, but there was nothing unusual outside. No shooting stars, or blackholes, just space, the unknown, and stars.
"Shouldn't you be resting?" Kirk asked.
"Most likely. I should go to bed soon."
"Are you having trouble sleeping?" Kirk asked full of concerned "is it, because of what happened?"
"To what are you referring?" Spock asked.
"I - the - your-" Kirk began.
"The kidnapping, the scientist, my planet, my people. Nothing keeps me up at night but occasionally strange dreams where I am a fish, and then, I am a bird."
Kirk frowned "well… I did wonder what you dreamed about. But I just want you to know, if you ever need to talk about anything, I am here."
"That is… kind of you, but more than unnecessary. Shall I offer my help to you, if you ever need to speak of your past on, that planet."
"Only Bones knows about that" Kirk cut in coldly.
"Apologies. Sometimes you compare the chefs salads to being worse than the scraps on Taurus-"
Kirk laughed.
"And I don't think anyone else aboard this ship would really be joking about that so freely, without a much more personal history."
"Okay" Kirk said "so maybe I haven't really been keeping it a secret, but that's different Spock. That was, well it seemed like years, and, I don't think you - I don't think a lot of people could ever imagine the type of pain I went through. But I just had, a blip in my past. You had a strange childhood."
"I believe the majority of people could refer to themselves as having a strange childhood. Or a strange life in general. But there is more. There is always more, I find, that often sometimes individuals who think themselves of normal do not realise all their unique positions. Opportunities taken or declined, and sometimes when people have a rather comfortable month, or even a year, they begin to think nothing unique will ever happen in their future. On the whole I find it makes their world rather drab. Not the way they live, more, just they way they think."
"That is in-depth."
"It helps when you're a telepath."
Kirk nodded smiling "I sometimes forget that. There's this whole other side of you that I can't comprehend."
"No I think you could. If you really wanted to, it's just too long, and as it wouldn't affect either of our communications it is pointless. So it's best in the short-term forgotten, which I'd rather, there are plenty of things about you I don't comprehend and I rarely try."
"Thanks. … But Spock, you are going to be okay now, aren't you?"
"Currently I am, okay. But there are no certainty's for my future, at anytime, in a hundred years my future remains unknown. In the short-term, as humans say, I'll be content living in the now." Kirk nodded his eyes barely leaving Spock's face.
"And illogically I hope my past won't pop up so vividly and wildly again. That was a freak of nature and science."
"I'm glad to see you're not completely unfazed by how weird that was" Kirk smiled and nodded "I'm just thankful that wasn't me. I mean, it was messy with you, but I would have been doing a whole lot more screaming. Actually I think we're pretty similar."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I just put a whole lot more yelling into the things I do."
"I could list you several other things, you do that are all rather illogical."
"What? Like any of the stuff you did was logical."
"At the time of my doing it had logic to it."

They lent on the railing looking out to the stars.
"What are you looking at anyway? Are you really delving into the illogicalness of star gazing?"
"It is quiet illogical as from a distance the stars appearances do not change, and I could be doing any number of other things, this has been a one constant in my life, that I am more than content with. So yes, illogically I am stargazing."
"Nice. As long as your sure your okay?" Kirk asked gently touching the top of Spock's arm. Spock gazed out.
"As long as thats the last time you ask me that question on this subject, I am fine." Spock said giving only the slightest of glances. Jim stood for a second, the pad in his right hand, and one hand reaching out to gently grab Spock's arm. The closest thing he could do to hugging him. His mouth opened for a second as he felt he should saying something, but as he tried he realised there was nothing he could say. Nothing that really needed to be said. His eyes reflected the stars from the abyss as he searched for something, on Spock's features.
"Thanks."
Jim nodded at his word giving his arm a final tap, as he pushed himself up from the railing, leaving Spock to the observation deck. His black shadow tall and firm against the grey tiles. Things were the same again and yet, with a sharp intake Spock realised, things would never be the same.

Notes:

Hey guys- So this is how I'm ending it (actually wrote this chapter back in May, huh.)
I was aiming to have this hitting 25,000 words, but I think 20,000 is enough. This was my first fic so I wanna thank y'all lk 2 of u guys for your support and comments.
sorry if I yelled at you.
Also I'm sorry for my bad updating and for a while i didn't even try to write good chapter i just repeatedly hit the keyboard (which I have fixed now)
I'm not sure, If I have.. any followers.. if thats how this works? But if you can follow me go ahead, It'll be a while (I have so much todo) before I start another fic (which will be featured around Spock since he's my fav character)
I'm thinking transporter accident, animal transformation, or a dark gritty drama au.

Also I really like how people actually commented on this so, I'll be back for attention.
- SO lke have a good halloween
also please do not get kidnapped by killer clowns.
and don't be one.
y'all can be batman tho. he chill.