"Dean," She mutters in a soft, harsh tone.

Lisa.

Dean can't say a word. It's just silence that fills his mouth. He feels very sick suddenly; right down to his very core. This has to be a dream. It must be.

Dean gulps, "You're not real." He shakes his head hesitantly.

"May I come in?" Lisa protests, and although she asks, she already begins to push her way past the door frame without an answer.

Dean can't stop her. Even if he tried. He still can't move. He's in complete shock.

Lisa looks around, "Nice place," She turns to nod at him, "Is it Castiel's or is it a rental?" She grins; a slight mischievous movement that has each and every one of Dean's nerves screaming.

"How?" Dean stammers. He begins to follow her as she gives herself the tour of the house. HIs heart is pounding.

"I really like the counter-top," She says, running a hand over the smooth island and walking past the kitchen. She's so calm, content - like she doesn't give a damn about the situation at hand, like she was jut a neighbor popping in for a quick catch-up. She let's herself outside and stands in the yard, facing the lake with her back to the house. She's waiting for him.

Dean doesn't want to follow her. He still thinks that this is a dream, and that he'll wake up in a cole sweat at any second now in Castiel's arms as he dabs a damp cloth around his forehead. But with each second that passes, the more he realizes that he will never wake up. So what other choice does he have?

The air is much colder than he remembers it being. He shoves his hands into his pockets and stands behind Lisa, who still has her back to the house. Oh god he's scared.

"What are you doing here?" Dean starts, "And how the fuck did you get here?"

Lisa is silent for a few moments. Dean doesn't know wether it's because she's admiring the view, or if she's thinking of an answer.

Lisa turns to face him. She still looks calm. "I wasn't joking when I said I was coming to California," There's a seriousness in her eyes that isn't quite readable, "I came to look for you and I found you."

"Clearly," Dean huffs, "I want to know how you knew where I was. How you got here."

"I went to the hotel. That was my first stop. They told me you had checked out already, before I had come by," Lisa shrugs, "Someone came up to me. She said that she was trying to contact someone by the name of Castiel Milton."

Dean tenses. It becomes darker and colder outside.

"Now isn't it funny," Lisa steps closer to him, "I mean, I can only imagine that there would be so many Castiel's in the world. She said that she might be able to help me."

Dean's mouth drops, "You talked to Castiel's mother?"

Lisa nodded, "Naomi was very helpful," She says, and suddenly her face changes into something vicious and vengeful. Her eyes don't leave Dean's.

Dean frowns, "I didn't ask for this—"

"Oh yes you did, Dean. You put this whole things on yourself. Leaving me, leaving Ben—"

"You already left, Lisa. You left years ago." Dean shakes his head. Lisa had already been long gone the day she made her mistake. Dean had never felt her presence the same since. She has always been a ghost to him.

Lisa goes silent. They stare at each other for a second. It's dead. It's all dead. They way her eyes flick back and forth — it's all just lifeless movements. The color in her eyes is faded, like a dead leaf now, but was once filled with color and life and specks of hue.

Lisa finally speaks, moving a few inches closer to his face. It's not intimidating anymore to him. "Why him? Why did you leave with him?"

Dean grinds his teeth. "He was never meant to happen." Dean instantly feels the inside of his chest hollow. He tries to inhale but his airway is blocked, "He was a mistake—it was all a mistake—"

Lisa opens her mouth to say something but closes it. Dean can tell she knows he's not done with what he needs to say. But he also knows that she can see very well that it's hard for him to say it.

Just say it.

Dean's mouth creaks a little, and he can suddenly, and surprisingly feel his vision being blurred. The inside of his body feels like it's burning. It hurts. Everything hurts. He straightens his hands from clenching them and all of his bones bear extreme pain.

He stares at the grass for a moment, and then looks back at Lisa.

"Falling in love with him was an accident. It wasn't meant to happen, but it just did. Hell, I couldn't even admit it to myself until I just said it out loud."

His bones stop hurting. Everything stops hurting.

"You're in love with him?" Lisa looks stunned, and her mouth staggers open.

The side of Dean's mouth curls up, "Fuck yeah I am."

Jesus fucking Christ.

"I'm fucking in love with him."

He looks to Lisa again. She doesn't look hurt. She looks shocked for sure, but not hurt. Dean knows she's not hurt. Neither of them are hurt, and neither of them will ever be. The ice has been broken, questions have been answered, and the separation has been made.

Lisa just nods, and then leaves.

There's a strong breeze that waves over him, and Dean is left in the backyard in his own company.

"I'm in love with him." Dean says quietly to himself. He's known it this whole time, yet when he admits it to himself it sounds so surreal. His chest doesn't hurt anymore, and as a matter of fact, he realizes that nothing hurts anymore. All the aches and pains he's had for days, they suddenly vanished. He had been keeping in his emotions so long that it physically hurt him.

I need to tell Castiel.

Dean runs inside, contemplating different way to do this. Does he just come out and say it? Does he do something romantic? Dean shakes his head, he's not a hopeless romantic. He shuts the glass door and makes his way to the kitchen.

Theres grocery bags on the counter.

He's home.

Oh god.

What do I do.

"Cas? You home?"

No! You aren't ready!

Despite him not being ready at all to tell him, he decides he's just going to come out and say it. The second he comes in. "I love you."

Dean stands in the kitchen and waits for him. Castiel doesn't come in. Dean's getting nervous.

"Castiel? Where are you?" Dean runs upstairs and peaks his head in the bathroom, but he isn't there either. Dean shouts once more for him, but with no luck. He figures that maybe there are more groceries in the car.

He goes outside, and sees the garage door is open, but only the Impala is parked. The other car, a beaten up '75 Camaro, is gone. Dean comes around to the side of the Impala and sees a little, folded piece of paper in between the door. He pulls it out and unfolds it.

Dean,

I believe I walked in the house at the wrong time. I never intended to be your mistake.

I decided it was best to leave, as I did not want to be there for the rest of your conversation with Lisa.

I'm awful at goodbyes. So I will leave you with this...

I had a great time. More fun than I think I've ever had with anyone. Thank you for showing me what it feels like to love again. I have realized that despite how things ended, I am happy with how everything turned out. I am very happy with how far we have come, and I am happy that you have forgotten about how much you originally disliked me. I don't know how you feel, about this, or about me, and frankly, I don't need to know. You have made me the happiest man these past few weeks, and I thank you immensely for letting me meet your wonderful family. Sam, Bobby, Karen - they are all beautiful people. Give them my utmost appreciation for their kindness. Tell Sam that Ruby is a stunning women, and I wish them the best of luck in their upcoming life together.

I wish you the best of luck as well. Dean, you are a wonderful man. You don't give yourself enough credit for who you are, and I know you may never will, but give me the satisfaction of saying it, will you? You have been, and will remain a special memory. I hope that you will never forget me as well.

Castiel.

P.S. You liked the car more than I did anyways.

Dean turns the page to where the keys are taped to the back of the paper. He rips them off and squeezes them tightly in his hand.

He falls to his knees.

Castiel's gone.

Dean realizes that he must have walked in and heard part of his conversation with Lisa.

"He was never meant to happen. He was a mistake—it was all a mistake—"

Castiel never heard the rest. He left. Castiel thinks that he's a mistake.

Dean crumples the paper in his fist and puts his hands to the side of his head, digging his nails into his hair. He screams.

The pain is back. It's all back. The ache in his chest has returned, but this time it's about three thousand times worse. Dean feels like he's going to be sick. He reaches in his back pocket for his phone and his fingers shake rapidly as he dials Castiel's cell.

There's a sudden loud vibrate that comes from above him. Dean stands, and sees Castiel's phone ringing on the hood of the car.

He's gone. Castiel is gone.

With barely enough energy left in his body, he dials his phone once more. It rings and with every second he can feel his head pound harder.

"Hey, Dean-o," Gabriel laughs, "Are you calling to break my heart too?"

"Where's Cas?" Dean says aggressively, "Tell me where he is."

"Do I sound like an idiot to you?"

"I need to tell him I love him." Dean admits. He crumples the note in his hand more. His hands are sweating so much that the paper has become damp and limp in his fist.

Gabriel chuckles. "How did you come to that conclusion? According to him, he was your mistake."

"He's not any mistake, Gabe." Dean holds himself back from kicking the side of the car, "Please, trust me. Just hear me out — I need to talk to him."

Gabriel sighs on the other line. It's silent for a few seconds.

And then Gabriel hangs up.

Dean pulls the phone away from his ear and looks at the screen. He shuts it and throws it angrily on the ground. He turns to lean against the car, placing his aching forehead on the cold metal. Dean pounds his fist against the roof of the car.

Dean's lost all hope. He doesn't know who to call, who to talk to, where to go. He can stay here, but what's the point? The whole house would be a constant reminder of Castiel. He's going to have to call Sam. But what will happen when Dean tells Sam that he has lost the best thing that has ever happened to him? Sam will be disappointed in him. He's already so disappointed in himself.

The cold exterior of the car helps his head a bit. He tries to breathe, to calm down.

Suddenly, Dean's phone chimes. He spins around to pick up his phone off the ground. He wipes away pieces of broken glass from the sides and reads through the cracked screen at the text message.

Gabriel has sent him an address.