Chapter Four

Screw it, Setsuna thought, screw everything. It was one more night of keeping loneliness at bay, and the price wouldn't be any worse than what she was already going to pay.

Taiki was staring at her, looking alarmed and a little defensive and like she was half considering wrenching her arm out of Setsuna's grip.

This was actually the first time Setsuna had been in Taiki's room. She'd visited the flat before, briefly, but it was much smaller than the house she shared with Haruka and Michiru, so going back to Setsuna's place had always seemed the more logical choice.

The bedroom was spare and simple; just a neatly made bed, a small desk, a chest of drawers and a closet. But then, it would be like that since this wasn't really Taiki's home. Setsuna suddenly wondered what it was like where Taiki lived on Kinmoku. She'd never asked before.

"I'm sorry for what happened at the party," she blurted in a rush. "I know that you and Seiya and Yaten aren't a threat. If I wasn't sure, I never would have asked you to be my lover. I only reacted that way because – Because the Princess and every other soldier besides me on this world awoke very young and very inexperienced with horrible memories of pain and death and nearly every time someone from another world did seek us out, it was only to try and destroy us. My behaviour was a knee-jerk defense mechanism. A stupid, unnecessary one."

"So why didn't you say any of this earlier today?" Taiki asked in a baffled voice.

"Because I was…Trying to convince myself to let you go."

"Why?"

"Because in the future there's something I might have to do, that would mean—" Setsuna stopped, biting her lip. She hadn't meant to say that.

"The future?" said Taiki softly. She removed the one headphone still plugged into her ear and slid her iPod out of her pocket, placing it on the empty desk. In her eyes lurked the deep purple shadows of twilight. "Has it occurred to you, Setsuna, that in two years' time my future might be to return to my world and die trying to save the last of my people?"

"Yes, I have thought about that. But you'll find the Crystal before it happens."

Grateful warmth flickered in the small smile Taiki gave her. "Maybe – my point is, none of us can know for sure what's going to happen in the future. Not even you. Worrying about what might be isn't a reason to stop living now."

She brushed her hand over Setsuna's cheek, and wherever she touched Setsuna felt the fire of stars burning against her skin.

"Then you still want to continue this?" Setsuna whispered, a slight tremble passing through her knees.

Taiki stepped closer. "My bed is quite comfortable," she promised, murmuring into Setsuna's ear.

Ignoring the heat that prickled in her belly, Setsuna pushed Taiki back. "I'm sure it is, but first – will you tell me, Taiki? About what world you lost and why it still causes you so much pain?"

For a moment Taiki looked away, a shutter falling over her face; soon followed by a swathe of smooth hair.

Setsuna tucked the long strands back behind her ear just as she'd done the first time she invited Taiki home with her.

"Taiki?"

After a long, thick silence, Taiki met her eyes again. "It wasn't what I lost," she said finally. "It was who."

A few days later at Hikawa Shrine, Minako stood absently in Rei's kitchen holding a knife poised over a half chopped up carrot, staring out at the sullen grey sky. Bustling back into the kitchen, Rei said with an annoyed exclamation, "Minako! What are you doing? You're meant to be helping me cook dinner for Usagi and Mamoru and Makoto and Ami! We'll never be ready on time if you don't get a move on."

"Yeah," said Minako distractedly, cutting another few slices of carrot and then stopping with a frown. "We haven't seen the Outers much lately, have we?"

"I guess not, but that's not so unusual. And Michiru's only just come back from being away."

"And we haven't seen much of the Starlights either, since they've been here."

"What are you getting at Minako?"

"Well, anything could have been happening between the two groups, couldn't it? And we wouldn't know about it. And because both teams are weirdly secretive, they probably wouldn't tell us."

"Are you talking about Haruka and Seiya? The diplomatic disaster just waiting to happen?"

"I wasn't thinking about them. I was thinking something might be going on…Between Setsuna and Taiki."

"Setsuna and Taiki?"

"Yeah. I kind of got this vibe off them at the Christmas Party…Like, maybe they'd been sleeping together."

Rei laughed out loud. "Are you serious? Setsuna and Taiki? No way! Your love detector is way off."

"But if something were going on," Minako persisted, "we wouldn't know, would we? Even if they have been going round together, it's not like we've seen enough of them to realise it."

"Okay, but even if they are having some kind of clandestine love affair – which, just to be clear, is the craziest thing I've ever heard – so what? Isn't that their business?"

"Is it so crazy?" Minako wondered. "They're both super smart, they're both insanely dedicated to their duty as sailor soldiers, they're both kind of…reserved and mysterious. They might go well together."

"Minako," said Rei firmly. "Don't go sticking your nose in. Leave the poor women alone."

"But aren't you curious about—"

"No."

"But we could just try—"

"No."

Minako pouted. "You're no fun," she sighed.

As the new year came, still Setsuna lingered. First Hotaru and Chibiusa came back to visit for Hotaru's birthday, and then it was Haruka's birthday, and then there was still the matter of the Sacred Crystal. Setsuna decided after all to try and see the mystery solved before she left, because (or so she told herself) if the Crystal was found, Taiki would naturally return to Kinmoku and her relationship with Setsuna would come to an end all on its own. Setsuna wouldn't have to be the one to do it, and Taiki wouldn't get hurt.

And so Setsuna began her own obsessive researches into the Crystal, consulting all the records held at the Mansion, writing programs to search through references on the internet, investigating the unfamiliar History shelves at the library of the university where she still held a science research fellowship.

She found nothing. And the timeline continued to be the quietest she'd ever seen it. Aside from that one small disturbance before Christmas that had disappeared without a trace, it looked like plain sailing for everyone all the way to Crystal Tokyo.

From that, Setsuna could only conclude once again that even if the Sacred Crystal was important for the survival of Kinmoku, whether it was found or not would ultimately have no bearing on the destiny of Earth.

That in itself should have been enough to convince her to let go, but still she didn't, and then suddenly it was Valentine's Day, which Setsuna completely forgot.

Taiki didn't, despite the fact that it was an Earth tradition. She also didn't seem quite sure they were meant to be celebrating it, and slipped some chocolates to Setsuna in a plain brown paper bag with all the furtiveness of handing her forbidden explicit goods from beneath the counter.

"Chocolates?" Setsuna said blankly, not even getting it. "Why choc—Oh. Oh Taiki, I didn't even think of it. I'm sorry."

"It doesn't matter," said Taiki, laying herself down uninvited on Setsuna's bed. "But why are there rose petals all over the house?"

"Hmm? Oh yeah. The rose petals. That sort of happens sometimes. Kind of a hazard of living with Haruka and Michiru."

"Are they here?"

Setsuna thought about it. "I don't think so. I vaguely recall Michiru mentioning something the other day about going away to a fancy hotel for a night or two. It didn't really make sense to me at the time, but yes, this Valentine's Day thing…I guess that was the reason."

"What have you been doing that's taken up so much of your attention?"

"Researching your missing Crystal. I haven't found much."

"Setsuna, you don't have to do that."

"I know. I wanted to do it." Snapping her laptop shut and leaving it sitting on top of the small desk she kept in her room, Setsuna spun in her chair and checked the bedside clock. "One in the morning? How did you even get in, Taiki? Weren't the doors locked?"

"Well, they were…"

Taiki hesitated, and Setsuna tilted her head questioningly.

"The thing is – Haruka actually gave me a key sometime back in January."

"Haruka did?"

"Yeah. She was kind of weird about it. She scowled a lot but then said she wanted me to know she approved of our relationship. And then she gave me a house key, which I've never really needed to use anyway, but tonight I thought I'd stop by, and I saw there was a light on in your room, and I didn't want to knock in case Haruka and Michiru were sleeping, so…"

Damn Haruka and her interfering ways. It was almost like she guessed what Setsuna was planning to do and kept trying to thwart her at every turn.

Hiding her dis-ease, however, Setsuna gave Taiki a smile. "Well, it's good to know Haruka is finally learning how to make friends. It's certainly taken her long enough."

"That strange conversation I've described was meant to be an overture of friendship?"

"Believe it or not. And thank you for the chocolates. I should have remembered and gotten you a gift too."

"I don't need anything, other than to be here with you. That's…It's really more than enough, Setsuna."

In the low lamplight, Taiki's eyes glimmered like stars, and her sweater was rucked up slightly over her low slung jeans so that Setsuna could see a hint of bare stomach and one hip. One arm was flung over her head while her other hand lightly (and seemingly absently) stroked her own thigh, and she smiled impishly as she noted Setsuna following the movement.

She was making it pretty obvious what she'd come for, and Setsuna knew she wasn't going to send her away. Already she could feel her own desire rising in response to Taiki's want, and after a brief struggle with herself she abandoned her desk and forgot about the chocolates and joined Taiki in bed, her own hand replacing Taiki's on her thigh. Taiki kissed her warmly with a gasp, impatiently dragging Setsuna's hand higher.

Setsuna had no intention of going fast though; not tonight of all nights. She'd already decided this was the last time. It had to be. There was no future for either of them in the realm of planet Earth. All they were was two burning fragments drawn to one another by chance in the vastness of time and space, and soon enough they'd be swept apart by the forces of a universe beyond their control.

She only brushed against Taiki before moving her hand away again, whispering, "I want to go slowly," and though Taiki quivered beneath her for a moment in defiance, she eventually relaxed back into the mattress with a murmured, "okay," and let Setsuna go as slow as she wanted.

Into every kiss and brush of fingertips Setsuna coded a lingering goodbye that Taiki wouldn't understand until it was too late, their clothes in a heap on the floor, Taiki ending up near incoherent with arousal long before Setsuna was even ready to touch her and spread out beneath her in delicious abandon. Taiki pressed into her hand with eager expectation when Setsuna finally reached between her legs, but Setsuna only skimmed over her in a way meant to provoke more than satisfy, taking advantage of her up-thrust hips to slide two fingers into her easily. As she felt herself being entered, Taiki cried more loudly than Setsuna had ever heard before, her whole body bucking as Setsuna began to move inside her, still with that same tortuously deliberate pace.

"You do like it slow tonight," Setsuna teased, angling her eyes down to watch Taiki's face. Feeling her gaze, Taiki opened her eyes, and Setsuna's heart jolted at her expression, open and trusting and hazy with lust.

"Setsuna…"

"Shh," said Setsuna, lowering her head so that Taiki wouldn't see what was in her eyes, bridling silently at the injustice of it, of only having found her now, when it was too late. If they'd met earlier, they could have had years, decades maybe, but perhaps that wouldn't have been better. No matter how much time they had, it could never be enough.

Even with the addition of Taiki, Setsuna knew she didn't have enough happy memories to make up for what awaited her at the Doors of Time, and sometimes the memories just made it worse anyway. In the end, she knew she'd survive only by pushing her entire human existence away and forgetting she'd ever been anyone but Pluto, bringing death to all who saw her.

With her mouth, she fell on Taiki hungrily, no longer in the mood for slow. Taiki parted her thighs even wider and strained into the quick strokes of Setsuna's tongue, just managing a strangled plea for more.

There was just the two of them, locked in an endless moment of time, warm in Setsuna's bed with the dark winter night outside and the jagged breaths of Taiki's pleasure tearing into the quiet of the room. If Setsuna could, she would have stretched this out so it never had to end, unhooked them from both past and future and had only this present, eternal, of feeling Taiki beneath her in a forgotten corner of the universe where the morning of Setsuna's last day on Earth would never have to dawn.

Tears beaded her eyes and Taiki was coming hard, pushing up further into Setsuna's mouth, contracting around her fingers, arching her body with a shuddering groan before collapsing back onto the mattress, flushed and panting and lost in afterglow.

"You're so beautiful," Setsuna whispered wonderingly, kissing her way up damp, trembling skin. "These last couple of months with you – every moment we've been together, I've been happy. I – I wanted you to know that."

Taiki's arms encircled her tightly as she slowly blinked open shimmering eyes, so close to Setsuna's own.

"Setsuna," she breathed, and Setsuna knew from the emotion in her voice what she was about to say. "I—"

"Don't," said Setsuna, stopping her with a finger to her lips.

She laid her head on Taiki's shoulder and closed her eyes, her heart wrung with pain, her own body still unsatisfied.

"Say it to me one day soon," she murmured, feeling the soft, reassuring brush of Taiki's hands across her back.

"Let me touch you too. I want to."

"Next time," Setsuna promised, even though it was never going to come.

After a considering pause, Taiki asked, "what's wrong, Setsuna? Why are you sad?"

Setsuna raised her head and forced herself to smile, stroking Taiki's cheek. "I'm not sad. I'm just so happy it hurts."

"I know you're wet," Taiki persisted, in a tone that would have been seductive were it not so serious. "I know you want to come. Why won't you—"

If Setsuna felt Taiki's hands on her even one more time, she knew she'd never keep her resolve to leave. But she couldn't say that, though nor could she entirely suppress her body's treacherous tremble as she imagined Taiki's fingers, Taiki's tongue, between her legs.

Desperate for some distraction, she said, "will you…I'd like to hear one of your poems, Taiki. Please. I want to hear your voice."

Not understanding, but still willing, Taiki began to whisper, her lips close to Setsuna's ear, her words smooth as the rush of a gentle waterfall.

And this time, it was Setsuna's language she spoke, until right at the end, when something caught in her throat as she finished in her own tongue, and Setsuna needed no translation to know what she'd just said.

The words Setsuna had asked her not to say. The words Setsuna was not free to hear. The words that settled her faster than ever that running was the only course of action.

Michiru was drowsing in a warm, pleasant half sleep when silver light shot out of her Mirror, jerking her inevitably into a world of wakefulness and destiny. Beside her, Haruka rolled over with an exclamation of disgust and burrowed further under the covers.

"Not now," she groaned, as Michiru reached for the Mirror.

Ignoring Haruka, Michiru sat up and looked into her Mirror's depths. It was showing her Setsuna again (thankfully clad in her dressing gown this time), standing by her bed and looking down at an apparently sleeping Taiki with an expression on her face that filled Michiru with dread.

If Michiru had to, she'd guess this moment probably followed on from what she'd caught a glimpse of on Christmas Day. And she was beginning to understand why her Mirror had wanted her to see it. As the images cleared, she said urgently, "Haruka, we have to get home."

"Right now?"

"I'm afraid so."

"How fast? It's going to take us the rest of the night to drive back to Tokyo."

Michiru titled her head, considering. Her hand hovered over the communicator on the bedside table and eventually picked it up. She pressed a sequence of buttons and waited.

"Mi-Michiru?" Setsuna's incredibly surprised voice asked after a moment.

"Don't do anything, okay Setsuna? Haruka and I are leaving right now and we'll be there by tomorrow morning."

There was a shocked, guilty silence. "You don't have to – Your weekend—"

Refusing to be distracted, Michiru persisted, "just promise me, okay?"

"…Okay," Setsuna finally said, before ending the call.

"You saw Setsuna and Taiki again?" Haruka asked.

"The focus was on Setsuna this time, but yes, Taiki was there too."

"What exactly do you think Setsuna is going to do? Why did you call her?"

"I caught a glimpse of an expression I've only seen on her face once before."

"When?"

"Just before she stopped time, when she sacrificed herself to save us from the helicopter crash."

"Oh crap," said Haruka. "What is she planning?"

"I don't know. That's why I told her to wait until we get there."

Haruka rolled onto her back. As she stared up at the ceiling, Michiru could see the dream of their weekend disintegrating in her eyes; the planned itinerary of fireworks and champagne and another two whole days in bed receding into the realm of the impossible.

"I'm sorry, Haruka. I'll make it up to you another time."

"Michiru." Haruka gave her a smile. "I have you beside me every day of my life. There's really nothing to make up for."

With that, they got up, showered, dressed and packed up quickly and after checking out in front of the sleepy and curious hotel staff, began the long drive home.