Getting into the episode "The Jedi Who Knew Too Much". Soniee is still struggling with the idea of passion vs. peace and remembering her Mando heritage.
For a solemn Jedi ceremony, Soniee sensed an incredible amount of emotion. And it wasn't primarily from the non-Jedi attendees but from the Jedi themselves that she could feel anger that part of their home had been destroyed, fear that it could happen again, and an overwhelming sadness at the loss of their friends. She recognized many of the faces in the risers directly across room. The chancellor and Mas Amedda, Master Windu, Master Kenobi, and Master Skywalker and there were Ahsoka and Barris. Soniee stood between Padme and Lux. They had been invited along with several other senate representatives to stand alongside the Jedi in their grief.
Lux was a turmoil of emotions beside her. His eyes weren't on the six bodies but instead on the Togruta Padawan who stood across from them. Soniee sensed that he sympathized with Ahsoka for the events that had taken place but he also just longed to be near her and those feelings made him feel guilty in this place of mourning.
Soniee took his hand in hers and whispered, "Udesii, ner vod." Be at peace, my brother, and she tried to infuse the words with a wave of calm as she had done sometimes for Korkie when he was feeling distressed.
But then that voice reared up in her head once again, There is no peace, only passion. You could comfort him with passion. Make him forget all about the other girl.
Soniee blushed and dropped Lux's hand like it had burned her. She turned her gaze to the chancellor and found that he was looking back at her with that grandfatherly smile. He seemed to assure her that she had done nothing wrong. She was only trying to help a friend.
She pushed the thoughts from her mind then, and tried to focus on Master Yoda's eulogy, "One with the Force, they are. And our job it is to remember that we will, in time, also pass on. Luminous beings are we, but temporary vessels our bodies are. And we shall all find ourselves here, in time. A moment of silence, I ask, to remember and move on. Live for the living Jedi, we must. Live through us, forever they will." then he tapped his stick on the floor and the 6 bodies descended into the floor, were sealed over, and a bright light shot up from each one.
His words reminded her of the daily remembrance she should repeat as a good Mando'ad. She whispered, "Nu kyr'adyc, shi taab'echaaj'la" Not gone, merely marching far away. And promised herself that she'd be better about that in the future. She wanted to catch up with Ahsoka and Barris to convey her condolences and she knew that Lux did also but the Chancellor stopped them before they were able to hurry after the padawans.
"How very kind of both of you to join in the sorrows of strangers." He nodded to them both. "You did not even know the deceased and yet you come to mourn them as friends, but then," He paused and frowned at them both. "You have both suffered losses of your own recently."
Lux and Soniee looked at each other. She had lost Amis and the Duchess and she knew that Lux's mother had been killed almost a year before but was there someone else he was still mourning?
Palpatine patted Soniee on the shoulder. "It's good to see that the two of you are becoming such good friends and that you can comfort each other." As he walked away Soniee heard the echo of that voice again, Comfort him with passion.
She swallowed and put a bit more distance between herself and the boy.
"That was strange," Lux grumbled when the chancellor had finally left them. "and now we've missed getting to speak to anyone else. They've all gone."
Soniee looked around and noticed that he was right. While the Chancellor had been talking to them the rest of the crowd had dispersed. Well, not all of them, Padme was still near by speaking to Senator Mothma of Chandrila. She waved for them to join her so that they could return to her apartment for lunch. The senate would not meet for the rest of the day in deference to the Jedi day of mourning.
While they ate sandwiches and Padme went in the other room to catch up on some holocomms, Lux asked her, "What was it you said during the ceremony?"
Soniee tried to remember. She had forgotten that she had said anything but then, "Oh, I said, 'Udesii, ner vod.' It's Mando'a for, Be at peace, my brother."
"It really did make me feel better. I almost thought it might be a charm or an incantation." He admitted feeling foolish.
"You think I'm a magician, now?" she tried to laugh it off.
He frowned, "I'm still not entirely sure you're not a Jedi."
She tried to change the subject but it came out sounding more brash than she would have liked. "The Chancellor said you had lost someone. I knew about your mother but was there someone else?" She bit her lip and then retracted. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I'm sorry to pry."
"No, it's alright." He began and then paused. "He said we ought to share our sorrows, right?" Lux took a deep breath. "There was a girl, a young woman rather, whom Ahsoka and I fought alongside for the freedom of Onderon. She was a leader of the people. Her name was Steela."
So it wasn't just Ahsoka he was pining after, Soniee realized. She reminded him of someone else he had been close to.
"I'm sorry," she said, head bowed.
"And what about you?" he asked. "He said you had lost someone, too?"
"Well the Duchess," Soniee began. "She was very good to all of us cadets. But... also my friend Amis. There was a battle and I cried out and he turned to see if I was alright and ... He was the first boy I ever kissed." She wasn't sure why she added that last bit and her cheeks went pink as soon as she had said it.
"I'm sorry, too," Lux whispered.
"There's something we say on Mandalore to remember those who have passed on." Soniee explained to him in a rush. "We're supposed to repeat it every night but I haven't been very religious about it lately."
"Will you teach it to me?" he asked eagerly.
"Alright," she began. "The first part goes, Ni su'cuyi, gar kyr'adyc and it means I'm still alive, but you are dead."
"Well that's pleasant." He looked unsure but then he repeated the words after her. "Ni su'cuyi, gar kyr'adyc."
She finished with a small smile. "Ni partayli, gar darasuum, I remember you so you are eternal."
"You are eternal..." He repeated softly in basic and then he chanted the whole last line in Mando'a with her.
"Then we list the names of the people we want to remember. I don't know the names of my birth parents so I've always just listed them as Buire."
"My Buire as well." He nodded solemnly.
"Duchess Satine," Soniee added.
"Steela Gerrera."
"Amis Lok."
They had joined hands again at some point during the recitation. Soniee hadn't even noticed. She still wanted to comfort him and before she could stop herself, almost as if she were compelled to do so, she leaned toward him and kissed him on the cheek. Even this chaste touch awoke something in her that wanted more. It was wrong, though. She loved Korkie. They were going to be married. She pulled her hands away and refused to meet his eyes. "So... that's basically all it is."
Through passion I gain strength. Through strength I gain power.
She clenched her eyes shut and tried to push the thoughts away but they seemed to hang there between she and the boy who was not Korkie.
"Thank you for teaching me," Lux said softly, obviously confused by her reaction.
Padme swept into the room, datapad in hand. "Well, that was the Chancellor. That man never takes a day off. He wants to meet with you tomorrow, Soniee and have a holo conference with Prime Minister Almec and then he said..." she stopped and looked at them both. "I'm sorry. Did I interrupt something?"
Soniee was still internally warring with her emotions and couldn't speak. But Lux stood and addressed the Senator politely. "Miss Ordo was just explaining to me how they honor their departed on Mandalore."
She chanced a look up at him and saw only kindness in his blue eyes.
"But I really should be going." He smiled at Padme and gave her a slight bow. "Thank you for the lunch and the company." He glanced back at Soniee and then headed for the door.
"Your welcome," said Padme obviously curious what had taken place in her absence. "Just a moment, though. This concerns you as well."
He stopped at the door and looked back.
"Palpatine wishes to honor Soniee with a gathering to introduce her to some of the members of the Senate."
"Oh no," Soniee groaned. "I really don't want... especially now..."
"Now it won't be a big party just a few of the younger senators for drinks at 500 Republica. He believes that it will help take everyone's mind off the bombing and the war."
Soniee wasn't convinced.
"Lux is invited of course." Padme smiled at him. "So you know you'll have one friend to talk to."
"I.. can't wait." he tried to sound excited.
Then the holotable pinged in the other room and Padme ran to get it.
"You don't have to come if you don't want to," Soniee said softly. "I'd rather not go myself if it wasn't in my... honor."
"No really I want to come..." he began but then they both heard a cry from the other room and ran to see what was wrong.
Padme was gripping the edge of the holotable. "It's that woman, Letta Turmond. She's been killed."
"But I thought she was in the Republic Military prison," Soniee questioned. "Who could have..."
"Ahsoka!" Padme cried. "They have her in custody. They're saying it was Ahsoka who killed her."
"There must be some mistake," Lux rushed forward and activated the table to see the message for himself.
Soniee sunk down into a chair. It was simply too much to take.