Chasing Starlight - Chapter 10 – 'Brain Camp'

A/N: Thank you for Ms Stitcha for being my bf! (Beta-friend, I know, I'm cheesy.) Also, thanks to the following for your recent reviews: Kirsah, Vorcha Girl, Ms Sticha, chainline, Amalsuntha, and a guest. It seriously does make my day when y'all take the time to leave your thoughts.

PS: Some dialogue taken from Mass Effect 1, which is owned by Bioware. A twist on a classic conversation. :)

The mission on Therum had been a close call. Joker had every right to make snarky comments about the Normandy potentially getting engulfed in lava. Some of the crew members didn't quite know him yet, so Shepard had had to reassure them it was just Joker's way of handling tough situations. Everyone had their own way of dealing with stress, and that was his. Shepard had quickly learned that Ashley preferred to clean, upgrade, and maintain guns as her outlet, which Evelyn could easily relate to; she did the same thing with technical things. Kaidan seemed to prefer to socialize when stressed, particularly with Joker and Wrex. At first, Evelyn though it odd that Kaidan and Wrex talked so frequently, but then she realized that up until today, they were the only two biotics on board.

Evelyn realized during the debriefing from Therum's mission that she hadn't taken enough time to properly get to know some of her crew. She preferred to know people who would be watching her back; she found that empathy really helped the success of missions, which could only work if you knew your squad mates well. It made losing people a hell of a lot harder, though. Today, Evelyn's goal had been to get to know her fellow tech people better – Garrus and Tali. She spent quite a bit of time talking to the two, originally starting the conversations off by talking shop and then transitioning to more personal topics. Both of them seemed to open up to Shepard easily. Tali was thankful that Shepard and the others had saved her life, and was amazed that her pilgrimage had led her to serving on the most advanced warship in the galaxy. Garrus had clearly been fed up with C-Sec and was glad for a change of scene. When he mentioned something about Spectres not having to play by the rules, Evelyn reassured him that she would still do so as much as possible – especially when it came to the safety of civilians.

Shepard would have felt irresponsible if she didn't check on their newest recruit, Liara. During the debriefing the asari mentioned feeling ill, likely due to dehydration from being trapped in a security field for who knows how long. After talking with Garrus and Tali, Evelyn stopped by the med bay to check on her. Liara was grateful for Shepard's aid and concern and assured her she would be alright. Evelyn figured that while she was there, she could take a few minutes to get to know her newest crew member better. The scientist seemed shy and not used to socializing with others. She remarked that Shepard was "fascinating" and didn't catch the joke when Evelyn facetiously responded about being dissected. Shepard made note of that and learned from it; she didn't want to purposely make her crew uncomfortable. Evelyn wanted to ask Liara about Benezia, but thought the timing inappropriate. Liara had a rough day to say the least and there would be plenty of time to have that discussion later.

Shepard exited the med bay and headed across the mess towards her cabin when she saw Kaidan sitting at one of the tables alone. He looked up at her as she approached him. "Commander, do you have a minute?" Evelyn knew she needed to write reports, but figured Kaidan wouldn't have gotten her attention while they were on duty if it wasn't important. She sat across from him and put her elbows on the table, her hands propping up her head. "I'm listening, Lieutenant. I always make time for my officers."

Kaidan sighed heavily, the kind of sigh that insinuated he had been thinking too much. Evelyn often did the same thing when she needed to get something off of her chest. "Off the record, I think there's something wrong here. This Saren is looking for records on some kind of galactic extinction. But we can't get backup from the Council? Sorry, Commander. There's writing on the wall here, but someone isn't reading it."

Evelyn met his concerned eyes; she truly felt the same way. "I understand your concern, Alenko. The Council doesn't want to believe anything's wrong. I'd call it human nature, but…" her voice trailed off, leaving Kaidan to fill in the blank.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I - it just seems like a group that's been around as long as the Council should see this coming." He shook his head, "It's funny. We finally get out here, and the final frontier was already settled. And the residents don't even seem impressed by the view. Or the dangers."

Evelyn smiled widely, amused by his interpretation. "Well, well, you're a romantic. Did you sign on for 'the dream,' Alenko? Secure man's future in space?"

Kaidan nervously rubbed the back of his neck, "Yeah, I read a lot of those books when I was a kid. Where the hero goes to space to prove himself worthy of a woman he loves." His amber orbs met her silver ones, then quickly and nervously flitted away. "Or, you know. For justice." He sighed, put one arm on the table, and rubbed his head with his hand. "Maybe I was a romantic in the beginning. But I thought about it after Brain Camp – ah, sorry, 'Biotic Acclimation and Temperance training.' I'm not looking for 'the dream.' I just want to do some good. See what's out here." He paused and lightly cleared his throat. "Sorry if I get too informal. Protocol wasn't a big focus in BAaT."

Shepard knew she had much to do, but here Kaidan was, opening up to her about his past. She wasn't going to miss an opportunity to learn more about him, and besides, she considered it field research. She smiled at him warmly. "That's all right. Tell me about it."

Kaidan beamed back at her. She seems to really care, he thought. "'Biotic Acclimation and Temperance' didn't last past the airlock. To the kids they hauled in, it was 'Brain Camp.' Sorry, 'hauled in' is unkind. We were 'encouraged to commit to an evaluation of our abilities, so an understanding of biotics could be compiled.' There are worse results of 'accidental' exposure to element zero in the womb. Beats the brain tumors some kids grew up with."

Brain tumors? She thought. Evelyn admittedly didn't know very much about human biotics. "What's the survival rate? It sounds like you beat the odds. How many didn't make it?" she asked, her analytic nature getting the better of her.

"Out of a hundred? Maybe sixty have no effect. Thirty suffer 'adverse effects.' Little things like brain cancer. The other ten show enough ability to augment with implants. Not always permanent, though. Not like the cancer." He replied.

"Do you suffer from any of these adverse effects?" Evelyn inquired. She needed to know, after all.

"Occasional migraines. They can get pretty bad, but with rest and medication, they're manageable. They tend to have certain triggers, so I can pretty much guess when they're coming." Kaidan understood Shepard's need to understand his medical issues, and hoped that she wouldn't judge him or see him as weak for them.

Evelyn appreciated his honesty. Her mind hopped back to an earlier part of their conversation as she realized she missed an important word before – "accidental." He said that as though maybe it wasn't. "Do you doubt your exposure was accidental? Is there some question about how you were exposed?" she inquired, this time out of concern rather than gathering data.

Kaidan noticed the shift in her demeanor and relaxed as he continued, "My mother was downwind of a transport crash. It was before there were human biotics. A little after the discovery of the Martian ruins. It only gets iffy around '63 when Conatix was running out of first-gen subjects. Until then, they'd relied on accidentals…Anyways, years later, you're a teenager, and a bunch of guys in suits show up at your door after school. Next thing you know, you're out on Jump Zero."

Shepard frowned. She was all too familiar with the experience of being ripped from your home. Growing up, it always seemed that as soon as she had made friends, her parents were being posted somewhere else. She could empathize with Kaidan here, to some degree. "Sounds rough." She folded her hands together, set them on the table and made herself comfortable, indicating she was here to listen for as long as he needed. "There were other kids in the same boat, though right?" she encouragingly inquired.

Kaidan smiled slightly, as if positive memories came to mind, and leaned back in his chair. "That's true. We did have a little circle that'd get together every night before lights-out. We didn't have much to do, though. It was a research platform then, and Conatix kept Jump Zero off the extranet. To prevent leaks."

Evelyn smirked. "A group of teenagers hanging out in close quarters with nothing to do – sounds like you got to know each other extremely well, either by chatting, or getting physical," she let out a short chuckle. "Or maybe both."

Kaidan laughed uncomfortably and straightened up in his chair. "Yeah, about that second part - I'm not the kind of guy who does that sort of thing." Shit Kaidan, he thought. You don't want her to think you're asexual. He cleared his throat, "not lightly, anyways. There was this one girl who I spent a lot of time with, but we kept our clothes on. We'd sit around and bull every night after dinner. Play cards or network games. She had a small circle grow up around her. Rhana was her name." He paused, and Evelyn searched his face as he mentioned this girl. His lips had turned up into a smile as though it was a pleasant memory, but in his eyes she saw pain and regret. Evelyn was curious about his blended visage but didn't ask, though. She simply listened as he continued. "She was from Turkey. Her family was very rich. But she was smart, and charming as hell. Beautiful, but not stuck up about it." Kaidan paused and looked around the mess quickly as he contemplated making his next comment. When he saw that no one was around, he decided to go for it. "Like you, I guess. Ma'am."

Evelyn grinned widely as a slight heat rose up to her cheeks. She rested her face on her fists, attempting to hide her blush, but Kaidan had already noticed the effect his admission had on her. Shepard broke the silence and their moment with an inquiry. "It sounds like she was special to you." Her silver eyes met his amber ones.

Kaidan swallowed, "She was." His smile disappeared. "Maybe she felt the same, but…things never fell together." He cleared his throat lightly. "Training. You know." His eyes traveled down to the table, and Kaidan felt slightly embarrassed that he had just unloaded all this personal stuff on his commander. She didn't have to stop and talk to him at all, and yet here she was listening intently the entire time, with not even the slightest hint that he was wasting her time. She truly does care, Kaidan thought. He shook his head and looked back up, noticing that she was gazing at him with a look of concern. He exhaled shortly but audibly. "Anyway. This was supposed to be a casual debrief, not a bull session about stuff that happened years ago."

Evelyn played with her hair, "I'm interested, Lieutenant. I wanted to get to know you a little better, that's all. Thanks for the talk, Kaidan."

Kaidan grinned, pleased. The other night he had seen her in such a vulnerable place. After she had admitted how embarrassed she was, he thought for sure that she would want to pretend it hadn't happened and resume their professional relationship as it had been before that night. But it seemed he had been wrong. Not only had she taken the time to listen to him today, but she mentioned wanting to get to know him better. The thought of growing closer to her was appealing, but Kaidan also had to be cautious. He could be misreading things, and if he made a move on her when she was just trying to be friendly, it would be the end of his career. "Well, you're welcome, ma'am." He responded simply. Her next statement deflated his optimism.

"I want to know my crew; we have to depend on each other in combat. I like knowing what kind of man I have at my back."

"I understand, ma'am. I won't let you down." Now he felt he was getting mixed signals. Does she want to get to know me genuinely, or is this simply business to her? A moment ago, I could have sworn she legitimately cared, but now it sounds like she just want to know what makes me tick for field purposes. Before thinking about if it would be a good idea to ask, one last question escaped his mouth. "Do you, ah, make a habit of getting this personal with everyone?"

Evelyn's smile returned as she glanced around the mess, checking like Kaidan had earlier before speaking. "Not quite to this extent," she responded, winking at him. She scooted her chair back and stood. "We'll talk again later, Kaidan."

Kaidan stood and met her gaze from across the table. "I'll, uh – I'll need some time to process that, Commander." He beamed back at her, "But yeah, I'd like that." She's keeping up appearances, but really does want to know me, Kaidan thought.

The two turned and headed back to their duties, both simultaneously thinking:

What am I getting myself into?

A/N: What ARE they getting themselves into? I wonder. Hehe!

Good news, y'all – a moment you've likely been waiting for is coming next chapter! (A fluffy one, not a smutty one, though that's getting nearer and nearer….and might already be written. ^_^)

Thanks again for reading! Feel free to leave thoughts, comments, and whatnot!