Chapter 7: Falling Fast

Justin quickly found the bathroom and begin to run the shower. He looked at Brian, he was leaning up against the door frame practically asleep. Justin was use to this, the seizures take a toll on the person experiencing them, it's not uncommon for the person to become tired. He'd let Brian rest but he knew that he would want to get out of his soiled suit.

"Do you want me to help you shower?" Justin asked a drowsy Brian.

Brian was so tired, that all he could do was nod his head and pray to god, Justin came before he hit the floor.

Justin couldn't keep the smile off of his face. Brian was so adorable. It was going to be very hard stripping down to nothing and bathing him, without fucking him or letting him fuck him, but he could do it. He had to take care of Brian and show him that he was there for him. That nothing mattered except him.

Brian hated this, he fucking hated it. Not only did he fall to the floor and commence to shaking like a chicken with it's head cut off, he had pissed on himself. Now a man, that he'd been trying the last couple of days not to throw down and fuck, was in the shower with him, helping him wash all that remained of his little accident. How degrading. Brian just decided that he wasn't going to say anything and just let Justin help him with his bath. After the bath, they walked to Michael's old room and Justin help Brian to bed.

Molly walked into her family home and tried to run upstairs without her mother seeing her, but as soon as her foot hit the top step, her mother called her down. She could see the look of worry on her mother's face, she immediately knew who she was worried about. She was worried about Justin. This conversation was going to be difficult.

"Molly I need to talk to you about Brian?"

"What about him mom, has he called?"

"No it's just well we know that your brother is seeing him."

"Yea they've been hanging out for a while, I saw them picking out a tree the other day. They looked so cute together, sort of like a little family. With Gus being dark haired and Liddie being a blonde they all just fit, you know."

"Honey, Daphne called earlier, apparently they wanted Justin to come in tonight but he refused. She told me why Justin has been hanging out at the store more now and the real reason for his holiday vacation. Didn't you think that maybe you or your brother, should have told us the whole story? Now he is over there at that house, probably in that man's bed. Where is his heart, where is the Justin we raised!"

"Mom, its not like that, he didn't really kill them and you know that. It's just his logical way of feeling responsible for everything and it's eating him up inside. I told him, if he would just tell Brian, that things would be fine, that he would understand. He won't though, he thinks that Brian will hate him. Do you think he will mom?"

"We're having a Christmas party next week. I'm going to invite Brian."

"Oh mom he'll love it, he really never gets to get away because of the kids. It'll be great for them to have some alone time."

"I like Brian and I'm inviting him over. But you will convince your brother, that he's to tell Brian that night or I'll tell him for him. Yes mom, well I better get upstairs I need to make a call.

The dinner was still going on at Deb's, no one dared to go upstairs to see what was going on. Everyone was just overtaken by the care of Justin for Brian and no one knew what to say. They tried to continue eating, but everyone wanted to know what was going on upstairs. No one wanted to go up and see. Ben was the first to break the silence.

"Does anyone know what Justin does? I know him from somewhere, I just can't place it."

"Oh, when I had breakfast with them the other morning, Justin told me that he's an artist. Apparently he's very successful. Justin Taylor.

"Holy shit!" gasped Michael.

"That's Justin Taylor, don't you guys remember, right before the accident Lindsay said that she was going to be working with that guy. I heard that last year, he had a painting sell for fifty thousand, but do you know why he looks so familiar to all of us? I couldn't put my finger on it and I don't even think Brian recalls it."

"Why?" asked Joan

"Remember Melanie and Lindsay's wedding? Brian was so upset that they were actually doing it. Not because they were doing it but because you know that stuff was happening with Kip Thomas and he got really drunk and that kid crashed? Remember he was with the cute black girl and he and Brian were dancing and Melanie walked up and smacked him?"

"Oh my, he's the kid that got bashed!" said Deb making a recollection.

"Yea, Brian is friends with his sister you guys know Molly. Wow it really is a small world," said Ben.

Everyone went back to eating wondering what was going on upstairs.

Justin knew that it had to be early morning/late night. The room he was in was completely dark and for a minute he had no idea where he was, until he looked down and it all came back to him. Brian had had the seizure and he had taken care of him. He leaned in closer, to sniff Brian's hair. He couldn't help but smile, it smelt just like it did that night Brian had taken him home and fucked him. Justin had to think of different things, so Brian wouldn't awaken to his hard cock, poking him in the butt. Damn poking in the butt, he really needed to clear his head.

Brian's eyes snapped open and he knew exactly where he was. The hideous wallpaper was enough to take him back, he didn't even have to look at the tack board that had photos of he and Mikey and their many transformations, as the years went by. He was in their bedroom, he had a seizure and Michael had brought him upstairs and taken care of him, like he always did. He would have to thank him for that. Brian rolled over and came face to face with his sleeping porcelain angel. Brian ran from the room and into the bathroom. All of the contents in his stomach, from that night came crashing back to him.

After praying to the porcelain god, Brian got up and looked at himself in the mirror. He had a bruise on the side of his face. He must've hit it on something when he was having his "fit". He couldn't believe that Justin had seen that. He remembered everything now, how he fell from his chair and jerked, pissed and shit on himself. Justin had then, walked him up the stairs and bathed him. God, he was disgusted. Brian went upstairs and checked on his kids, left a note for Deb and got the fuck out of there.

Gus and Debbie were both shocked, when they got up the next morning and found Justin in the kitchen alone.

"Where's Dad Justin?" asked Gus.

"Oh he left a note. I guess he had an early meeting or something, because he left. It's all right here Deb, he said that he'll be around, around lunchtime for the kids."

Deb could see the sad look on Justin's face.

"Hey kiddo, why don't you run upstairs and check on your sister for me, okay?"

"Sure thing Grandma, be right back."

Debbie watched as Gus happily ran up the stairs, then she took a seat beside Justin.

"What's the matter kid?" she asked.

"I don't know. Brian left you a note, I know that but you see, he didn't say anything to me. He left like four this morning. It was four in the morning and before that, he was in the bathroom, throwing his guts up. I started to go in and check on him, but I don't think he wanted me too. I'm so confused, did I do something wrong?"

"You've been spending a lot of time with Brian lately, so I guess you can tell, that he is a very proud man. What happened last night was for the best." explained Deb.

"What?" questioned Justin.

"Brian saw last night, that you like him, for him. You love him I can see that, any fool can see that. You accept all of him and what happened didn't make you turn away. You were there for him in every way, this has made him scared. Brian never knew that someone could love him, for him. Melanie and Lindsay, they loved him for who he was. Once they were gone, Brian didn't think he'd ever find another cheerleader. Your cheering him on and he's scared. He's scared that you'll leave, but mostly he's scared that you'll stay."

Brian sat in his shrink's office, just looking at him like he was a mad man. He didn't overreact. This was something that he just couldn't handle. He was going to get rid of Justin before he became disgusted with him.

"What did you say?" Brian asked again.

:"I said, that you need to let people in, okay. I know that things are different now that Melanie and Lindsay are gone. But there is a place for you, in the heart of others besides, the two of them. You like Justin and he likes you. It's freaking Christmas in a few days, try and be happy. I mean you're forty now and you have two kids. You aren't the type of man that men Justin's age, are looking for."

"Gee thanks, and you're my shrink?"

"I'm not just your shrink, I'm your friend. I know where you're coming from. Look at me Brian. I'm Blake, a man who sold his body for drugs. Who let the man that loved him the most, pay for his rehab and then leave. There were many times, he found me on the floor of Babylon, lying in my own filth. It was because I made it happen, unlike you. You can't help what happened to you Brian. Let him in. He loves you."

"I gotta go." said Brian as he bolted from the room.

Justin walked into his job, there to greet him at the switchboard ,was Daphne. She had lost all that joy she had, when she was helping him out at his dad's store. Now she was giving him that look. She wanted to know what was going on, well he wanted to share it with someone, so he might as well get it over with.

"What?"

"What? We needed you last night and you just blew us off. You can't just blow this off, this is your career Justin," Daphne scolded.

"Maybe I don't want it to be anymore. Maybe all those doctors were right and I don't need to be in this profession. I mean with the gimpy hand and sometimes my mind does wander, so you know maybe everyone was right and I should just stick to painting and give all of this up."

"Don't you ever say that you hear me! If you do that, then fucking Hobbs wins and we agreed that he would never win, at anything. What happened was a fucking accident and what has gotten you to acting this way, anyway?"

"I'm falling okay!"

"What?"

I'm like falling fast. No matter what I'm doing or where I'm going, I can't stop thinking about him. When I close my eyes, I see him on top of me, pounding into me and I love him Daphne. I love him so fucking much. I know what I did is going to make him leave me, but I don't know, I don't care. I want this to last as long as it can. Then last night it happened. Now I think that he may really love me, because of what one of his mothers said."

Daphne's head was spinning. What was he talking about? One of his mothers?

"What are you talking about Justin?" Daphne asked still confused.

"Last night I went over to his adoptive mother's house and we all had dinner it was great. That's why I told you, I couldn't come to work. But right in the middle of dinner, Brian falls to the floor and has a seizure right there. I did everything I could to help him. But before it was over, he'd you know, all over himself. None of that mattered to me Daph, you know that. I took him upstairs and I took care of him. But he got up in the middle of the night and fled from the bed, leaving me in it, like I was poison. I have to get him to understand, that I don't fucking care about that disease. I will Daph, this Christmas will be the first of many. I don't care either. I don't care about this job or anything else, all I care about is Brian!"

Daphne threw a file at Justin and walked from behind the desk.

"You listen to me, are you listening?" Daphne asked as Justin nodded.

"You are great at what you do and if you love him, you have to tell him what happened that night. I think if you tell him, then you'll realize, that you had nothing to do with what happened. There's something else, something missing and if you would just stop blaming yourself, you would have figured it out by now. Now take this file and go into room 47 and do your fucking job. Straighten this out here, then when you go on break, you and I will figure out the Brian situation, okay?"

"Okay, and thanks Daph. I knew that you would understand."

"Of course I do, now go.

Justin couldn't keep the smile off his face as he walked toward the room. He knew that talking to Daphne would make him feel better. He indeed was falling fast for Brian. If he could just get Brian, to get passed killing his sister, then maybe they could have a Merry Christmas. Justin couldn't keep the smile off his face, as he turned the knob.

"Hi, I was just looking at the file, let's see if we can help your little girl out. I'm Dr. Taylor and why don't you tell me what seems to be the….."

All the thoughts that Justin was thinking, disappeared from his mind, when he was now looking into the faces of a very surprised Michael and Ben.