Chapter Eighteen

In Tokyo, Usagi was standing in the shelter of Hikawa Shrine's verandah and watching the rain fall while the tension that had held her rigid for the past half hour or so gradually seeped out of her body.

"Thank God," she murmured.

She turned as she heard Rei calling to her.

"Usagi! Usagi – What are you doing out here?"

"Nothing," Usagi said, as Rei walked out to join her.

"Nothing? You've been out here for ages. Come inside where it's dry. I swear, sometimes you still have no sense at all."

Usagi just answered with a smile, and would have followed Rei back inside, but they both felt a disturbance in the air as three figures landed just beyond the Shrine's shelter.

"Fighter! Healer! Maker!"

Usagi looked at each in turn as she spoke their names, seeing in their eyes the same warm feelings filling her own heart.

Fighter smiled up at her, raindrops falling from the tips of her hair. "We don't have much time, but we wanted to say goodbye. We've found what we need to, and we're going home."

"Wait!" said Usagi. "Let me get the others—"

"That's okay," said Fighter. She threw a look over her shoulder, and Usagi became aware of what she saw, the shadows of Uranus and Neptune, lurking under one of the Shrine's trees. "We can't really linger. But…I'm glad I got to see you again, Usagi. And I'm sorry about Setsuna. I'm sorry we couldn't do more."

Usagi had hoped she wouldn't cry, but at the mention of Setsuna's name, at the regret she heard in Fighter's voice, she couldn't stop the tears from welling up. "You did more than enough," she insisted. "You helped to save us. And Maker, I wish—"

Maker gave Usagi a gentle look, as if she was the one in need of comfort. "I don't think Setsuna would have any regrets, Usagi. You shouldn't either. I know you would have saved her if you could. Take care, okay? Look after everyone."

Something in Maker's voice made Usagi think she especially meant Uranus and Neptune. "Of course I will," she promised.

"She's still such a crybaby," said Healer, though there was no malice in her words. She was the only one to break ranks, lightly running up the stairs of the Shrine to plant a kiss on Usagi's forehead.

"Be strong," she reminded her, stroking her gloved hand through the silken hair of one of Usagi's pigtails. "You still have a lot to fight for. As do we."

"I know," Usagi whispered to her.

Healer gifted Usagi with a rare sweet smile before running back down the stairs, out into the rain where Fighter and Maker were waiting. A moment later Usagi heard Minako and Ami and Makoto coming out onto the verandah behind her, perhaps drawn by the feeling there was something happening.

But all they saw was the Starlights shooting off into the sky, making the rain sparkle for a moment in colours of blue and pink and green.

"They left just like that?" said Minako in an affronted voice. "Why? What happened about the Crystal? Did they find it?"

"I didn't see it," said Rei.

"Don't worry," said Usagi. "They found it." She looked out into the rain again, towards where her two distant soldiers still lurked. "Haruka? Michiru?"

She knew they'd come if she called for them, and they did, emerging from the shadow of the tree in their soaked civilian clothes. Usagi had no idea if they realised she knew much of what had happened in the desert, but she smiled at them anyway. "Thank you," she told them softly. "I would have come, but…I think my presence might have just made things worse."

Haruka and Michiru both let out exclamations of surprise, but Usagi didn't give them time to dwell further on the situation. She knew it was probably futile, but she said anyway, "Why don't you come and stay with us here at the Shrine for a while? Bring Hotaru and Chibiusa. None of you should be alone right now."

As Usagi had expected, her offer wasn't accepted. "We want to go home, Usagi," said Michiru. "We'll deal with things in our own way."

"Hey, wait a minute!" Minako called as Haruka and Michiru turned to walk away. "Taiki and Setsuna – Was there something there?"

Haruka and Michiru exchanged a glance, and then Haruka shrugged, as if to say it didn't matter any more. "Yes, they were lovers for a while," she confirmed. "Given how things turned out…I guess it wasn't meant to last."

Her voice fell away in a pained whisper. Tears pricked Usagi's eyes, but she didn't say anything, nor did she join in with the others as they discussed this new revelation. She just watched her soldiers walk away into the falling rain, and stubbornly refused to let the glow of hope die out in her heart.

"Is this rain ever going to stop?" Haruka wondered, collapsing onto the bed in her pyjamas.

Midnight had already come and gone. After seeing the Starlights off, Haruka and Michiru had spent the afternoon double and triple checking everywhere they could think of to make sure there were no disturbances, and then in the evening there'd been Hotaru and Chibiusa to take care of.

Worse, their civilian lives were already starting to crowd in again. Haruka had no idea whether Setsuna had intended this or not, but after she'd left for the Doors, her absence was smoothly covered up – as far as all of her colleagues seemed to think, she'd gotten some coveted research contract somewhere in America working on some top secret project – and they still thought that now, even though she was dead.

Haruka and Michiru couldn't even mourn for her properly. But then, Haruka remembered, it had been like that last time too, in the helicopter crash. And that had been worse. She and Michiru still hadn't properly known Setsuna back then, and they'd both carried the guilt of her death heavily.

"Move over," said Michiru, switching out the bedroom light and prodding Haruka as she joined her. "You're hogging the bed."

With a grunt, Haruka did as requested, still lying on top of her half of the bed as Michiru got under the covers. It took a few beats for her to find the energy to do the necessary work to get herself under the covers as well, mostly motivated by her growing need to touch Michiru and hold her tight.

"Strawberries," she commented sleepily, once Michiru was safely in her arms. "New shampoo?"

"I'm trying it," Michiru agreed. "But I told the store clerk I'd only keep using it if my girlfriend liked the scent. Except I don't think he understood what I meant, so I didn't succeed in shocking him near as much as I'd hoped."

"I do like it," said Haruka, inhaling the fruity scent.

"Maybe you should try it."

Haruka snorted. "I can't turn up to the track smelling like strawberries, or any other fruit for that matter. I'd be having to beat up misogynists even more than I do already."

"Haruka." The tone of Michiru's voice had changed, and Haruka felt a soft touch on her cheek. "Thank you. For today."

"For today?"

"For trusting me when I said we should wait. And for pulling me back when I lost my cool. I nearly…Well, I was very angry with Healer there for a moment."

"That's not something you need to thank me for. And…Even though it's weird I'm the one saying this…Try to see things from their perspective. Their world was at stake. Healer had a weapon that could give them an advantage. Of course they'd use it if it meant saving the Crystal. It was pretty gutsy of Maker to tell us. Once things started, no matter how they went, it would have been too late."

"And then I suppose Chaos would have taken all of us, the way it took Setsuna."

"But we're all still here because of her." Haruka kissed Michiru on the lips. "She didn't let it win."

"I miss her," said Michiru quietly.

"I know. Me too."

Michiru's breaths slowed and steadied as Haruka stroked her back. They were both still hurting with Setsuna's loss, but they had the comfort of each other. Any pain they had would always be tempered by that knowledge. How was Taiki faring? How would it be to find someone, and then lose her so soon? To face all that pain alone?

Haruka sent out a hope that was half a threat that Seiya and Yaten would look after her.

She fell asleep after Michiru did, but woke at some point in the night to find she'd rolled over and Michiru was now pressed to her back, her fingers almost shaking with tension as they restlessly stroked over Haruka's midsection, right where that monster had gotten her a few days before.

Turning over again onto her other shoulder, Haruka found, as she'd half-expected, that Michiru wasn't even awake. She soothed her as she moaned restlessly, sliding her fingers into Michiru's hair and pressing light kisses to her face until she relaxed, dropping back into an undisturbed sleep.

"You idiot," Haruka murmured to her. "Nothing's going to happen to me."

Michiru slept on peacefully. Haruka shook her head in fond exasperation and went back to sleep herself.

"Well I think I found something that's vaguely edible," Yaten announced, ducking her head to enter the narrow opening of the cave.

"Shh," Seiya cautioned her.

In Yaten's absence, it seemed that Seiya had managed to get a fire going, and by its light Yaten saw that Taiki had fallen asleep and was lying with her head pillowed on Seiya's thighs.

"She must have been exhausted," said Yaten, being sure to keep her voice low as she sat down.

Seiya nodded in agreement as she gently stroked Taiki's hair.

Initially after leaving Earth, the Starlights had planned to travel all the way to Kinmoku, but it had become obvious partway through that Taiki was struggling. Seiya had called a rest stop on an uninviting swamp planet, unfortunately the best on offer in the region, and Taiki's tiredness had obviously gotten the better of her in the short time it had taken Yaten to forage for some food.

"Here," said Yaten, giving Seiya a handful of berries. "This was the best I could find."

"Are these going to kill me?"

"They're safe to eat. No idea how they taste."

Seiya experimentally tried one and puckered her lips. "Sour."

"Hmm. Well, we wouldn't be in this predicament if someone hadn't left most of our emergency supplies behind to make room for suits."

"I didn't think we'd need any of that stuff! The way we travel, it doesn't take that long to get to Kinmoku. It's just that we've encountered some…Unforeseen circumstances."

"That's why they're called emergency supplies, Seiya. For emergencies that you don't see coming. Do you even understand what the word means?"

Yaten munched miserably on a few berries. She was sweaty and dirty, her hair was terrible, and the berries were sour and gritty and left a horrible taste in her mouth. Being a senshi truly was a hardship at times like these.

"I'm sorry," said Seiya, touching her hand to Yaten's knee. "I suppose I really shouldn't have brought those suits."

Yaten could tell she meant the apology. With a sigh, she leaned up against Seiya. "Well, it can't be helped now. And at least Taiki is getting some rest. She must have used up a lot of energy restoring the Crystal to be this tired. Do you think we should wake her up so she can eat something?"

"Not when all we have is those awful berries. Are you sure there was nothing better out there?"

"There was some kind of slimy plant that was supposedly safe, but it could move on its own. I really didn't want to risk it."

"Then I guess we might as well just go to sleep for the night. Taiki should be fine by tomorrow, I think."

"Yeah," agreed Yaten. "And Seiya?"

"Mmm?"

"I know Taiki's asleep, but I think she needs us tonight."

"I know."

"And I'm not proposing weird sex threesomes before you go getting that idea again."

"I know."

"Sooo…Blankets?" Yaten queried, looking around.

"Um," said Seiya. "There's only one, and I already gave it to Taiki."

Yaten closed her eyes in horror. "This just gets worse and worse."

"You're a warrior built to survive the harshest conditions possible. Sleeping on a rock floor with no blanket for one night isn't going to kill you."

Seiya's unsympathetic attitude was, Yaten felt, entirely uncalled for, especially since this situation was her fault.

Meanwhile, Seiya had eased out from under Taiki and given her one of their packs as a makeshift pillow. It seemed pretty soft, so Yaten assumed it had some of the suits in it. Taiki turned over so her back was to the fire, but she didn't wake up.

"Well I'm sleeping next to Taiki," Yaten decided. "You can be furthest from the fire, Seiya, and if you get cold it's your own fault for leaving our supplies behind."

With that said, Yaten lay down and stretched out next to Taiki, settling an arm around her waist. Seiya gave what might have been a soft sniff of amusement and lay down on Yaten's other side.

"I won't be cold with you to keep me warm," she said softly.

And indeed, Seiya was warmer than she had any right to be in the circumstances. She threw an arm out that reached over Yaten and to Taiki as well. Though neither of them acknowledged it, Yaten knew that they were both still keeping the pact they'd made that morning, when Yaten had asked Seiya to hold her tonight.

It was nice they were both still alive to keep it.

"Princess Kakyuu…We return to you the Sacred Crystal. Please accept our humblest apologies for the delay in completing our Mission."

Kneeling before her Princess with Fighter and Healer likewise kneeling behind her, Star Maker bowed her head and offered the Crystal up in her hands, while an increasing crowd gathered on the grassy knoll outside the temple above the city.

She looked up as she felt the warm pressure of Kakyuu's hand on her shoulder.

"Thank you," Kakyuu whispered, and Maker could see she was almost moved to tears despite her usually calm demeanour. "Maker…Healer…Fighter…Thank you." She smiled as she encouraged them to rise, still leaving the Crystal in Maker's hands. "One of you should return this to its rightful place."

Maker shook her head. "You should do it, Princess. That is what everyone needs to see."

Kakyuu looked sombre, perhaps even a little sorrowful, but she eventually nodded her head in agreement and took the Crystal, leading the way into the temple.

As the Crystal was placed back on its rightful pedestal, Maker had a strange feeling of déjà vu. The beams of light, the spirals of intertwined pink and mauve energy, this singing in her heart – she'd felt all of it before. She remembered Pluto kissing her, out there on the grassy knoll, saying that she loved her, touching her so gently, and with such sadness in her eyes.

And she saw again that other future, the one where Kinmoku crumbled and Kakyuu and Fighter and Healer and herself were all lying here dead, and she was glad, glad and thankful that would never come to pass now. That she hadn't failed her princess and her planet and the people she loved. That she'd found a future worth living for, even if it meant living with no one at her side.

Two weeks after seeing the Starlights off, Haruka and Michiru got a message from Taiki.

We restored the Crystal. Kinmoku is fine. And the Seers tell us the Earth is still turning. I hope…I hope Setsuna comes back to you one day. Your world couldn't ask for a better protector.

Taiki.

"Poor Taiki," said Michiru, as Haruka finished reading the letter aloud. "She sounds like she thinks that if Setsuna ever does return, it won't be for her."

"Maybe Taiki wouldn't want Setsuna back," Haruka speculated. "I know – We both know – How Setsuna felt about her, but she didn't have a very good way of showing it."

The weather had improved since the Starlights' departure. The days had been bright and fresh, and tonight, there was just enough chill in the early evening air for Michiru to enjoy snuggling close to Haruka on the love seat on the back patio of the house.

Chibiusa and Hotaru had already gone back to the thirtieth century, so it was just the two of them now. Michiru sighed as she gazed up at the sickle moon and the stars just starting to wink in the darkening sky.

"Why do I feel like things could have turned out so differently?" she said softly.

"Well, they still might I suppose," said Haruka, taking Michiru's hand in her own. "You never know with Setsuna. But until then…At least you still have me?"

Michiru smiled at her. "I do," she agreed, "and that is something I would never want to change, no matter how many times those ruins in the desert rise and fall into dust again."

"Yeah," Haruka said, drawing Michiru closer. "I'd never change it either."

The small bunch of fire-orange sweet olive flowers created a splash of vibrant colour against the forbidding paleness of the Doors. Taiki had managed to find her way back here, but she knew she wouldn't be able to again. Setsuna's power was seeping away from her like an outgoing tide, and its loss was hurting though she could no more stop it than she could the sea.

"I guess you're really not here, just like Chibiusa and Hotaru said." She placed her hand against the Doors' smooth, polished surface. "On my world, when someone dies, we always bury them with sweet olive flowers. The trees are everywhere on Kinmoku – The scent of the sweet olive is the scent of our lives. We give sweet olive to the dead so they can carry the fragrance with them into the afterlife, and not forget…And so that, if they ever come back to be reborn, the scent of the flowers will lead them home."

Taiki hugged herself in the chill silence. She couldn't imagine spending eternity in a place like this. She couldn't imagine what it must have been like to serve a queen who would knowingly condemn one of her soldiers to that fate.

"I hope you're free, Setsuna," she whispered. Her voice almost broke on the final word. "Goodbye."

And she let herself cry one more time in her room at the palace that night, but she didn't let it happen again. She took up her pen and wrote instead – She wrote the story of a mythical city of dreams that could only be reached by crossing time and space with the flickering light of a candle, always in danger of going out.