Chapter 15 – Wounds
Summary: Kaidan and Evelyn tend to each other's wounds - physical and emotional.
Kaidan returned to the Normandy, guilt ridden. A terrible migraine developed as they ran around the Noveria's Port Hanshan trying to acquire a garage pass, and using his biotics during the fight in the Synthetic Insights office pushed it over the edge. Shepard ordered Kaidan to return to the ship to get some rest and medication, and left the port for the labs in the mountains without him. As much as he wanted to go with Shepard, he knew she was right to order his return.
The meds for the migraine knocked Kaidan out rather quickly, and he awoke several hours later in the med bay, feeling rather groggy. Dr. Chakwas sat at her desk reading a medical journal. The silence in the infirmary made it clear Shepard hadn't returned from her mission yet. Kaidan grumbled as he sat up in the bed, alerting the doctor to his newly awakened state.
"Feeling better, Lieutenant?" Doctor Chakwas inquired.
Kaidan nodded his head slightly. "Yeah, much. Thanks." He hopped off the bed and headed towards the mess hall – he was starving. He rummaged through the cabinets and found his preferred flavored protein shake – chocolate. He quickly guzzled it down and headed down to the armory to check on his weapons and planned to chat with those who dwelled on the lower decks.
He headed for his locker after exiting the elevator and typed his PIN on the lock-pad. The locker made a clicking sound indicating it was unlocked, Kaidan opened the cold metal door and pulled out his favorite pistol, the Stiletto. He had picked up a new upgrade at the port and hadn't had a chance to install it yet.
The comm speaker turned on just as the Kaidan completed his weapon's maintenance and modification. There was excess noise, insinuating commotion in whatever room the transmission was coming from.
"Lieutenant Alenko!" the doctor's accented voice exasperatedly ordered, "You're needed immediately in the med-bay for assistance!" Kaidan shoved his gun into his locker, closed it, and ran for the elevator, which Garrus dutifully made sure was ready for him.
Both Shepard and Liara had been injured on Noveria. Kaidan already hated that he couldn't be there, but seeing Shepard injured made him feel considerably worse. It's not like you could have prevented this. If anything, she could have been worse off because you would have been distracted, he reminded himself.
The doctor thanked Kaidan for coming and asked him to please tend to Shepard's wounds so she could take care of Liara's. Wrex, who had been down there with Shepard and Liara, grumbled something incoherent and left the med bay, shaking his head angrily. He looked like he was ready to explode.
Kaidan immediately focused his attention on his commander, who sat slumped over on the bed, her right arm limp and visibly out of place. Kaidan laid concerned amber eyes on her, "What happened down there, Shepard?" His gaze lowered. There was a hole in her armor close to the collar bone, adjacent to her injured arm. Sloppy medi-gel oozed out of the hole, likely applied by Shepard's non-dominant hand in a rush.
Evelyn's voice was gruff as she filled Kaidan in. "Short story, I got thrown by an asari Commando and I think my arm is dislocated. While I was down, I got shot just under the collar bone. The longer version, I'll have to tell you later," she winced as she tried to remove her armor.
Kaidan swiftly and gently moved his hand over hers, stopping her from continuing to fumble with her armor. "Here, let me get it." He gingerly removed the pieces from her arms and chest; their absence made the severity of her injuries was more apparent. Her arm was completely out of its socket and blood dripped down her chest, staining her navy-blue camisole. Kaidan retrieved a wash cloth, saturated it with warm water, and gently dabbed off the blood on and around Evelyn's wound. His strong hands were surprisingly soft and soothing as they guided the cloth over her cold, sweaty, blood-stained skin. The trail of blood led from her collarbone down her chest, and the pair sat in silence as he cleansed her skin, both of their faces slightly blushing from the contact with a rather personal area.
Once Kaidan finished removing the excess blood, he applied a new dose of medi-gel to the gash and delicately wrapped it with gauze and medical tape. "Thanks, Kaidan," Shepard whispered sheepishly, her heart beat elevated from his touch. Evelyn saw Dr. Chakwas approach them, and her heart raced even more.
"What is THAT?" Shepard exclaimed, pointing with her good hand at the syringe in the doctor's hand. She shifted uncomfortably away from the individual bearing the needle.
"It's a local anesthetic for your shoulder. We'll need to pop it back in." Doctor Chakwas stated matter-of-factly. Shepard's widened eyes fixated on the needle, sweat gathering on her forehead.
Kaidan let out a slight chuckle, "Wait - don't tell me you're afraid of needles, Commander." Evelyn's silence, quivering lips, and dull stone-colored eyes gave away the answer. Kaidan moved between the stressed Shepard and the doctor. "Hey, it's ok," his husky voice comforted her. "Just focus on me. Don't look at it." His amber eyes, warm and inviting, met her desperate grey ones. She lost herself in his orbs for a moment, inspecting the details of his golden irises. The next thing she knew, her arm was numb. Kaidan smiled wholeheartedly, happy to provide her comfort. Shepard returned his smile with a grateful one of her own.
Hours later, Shepard was glad to finally be out of the med bay. She called the much needed debriefing and spoke with the council, who informed her of a long-shot for more information – Virmire. Having explored all other leads and still lacking information, Shepard decided that though it seemed unlikely they would find anything, it would be their next destination. Any lead was better than blindly looking around the Terminus systems at this point.
Typically Shepard would have made her rounds with the crew after the meeting, but tonight she wandered straight into her quarters. She had already spoken to Liara in depth while they recuperated in the sick bay, and felt talking with the others could wait. She fought the urge to plop down on the bed; she could hurt her arm if she landed wrong. Instead, she slowly bent her knees and lowered herself to sit on the edge of the bed. She leaned back gently, and upon becoming supine on the firm mattress, her stomach growled. Shit, you didn't bother to eat anything, she thought. She groaned and started to get back up but the staccato sound of wrapping on the steel door stopped her. Three knocks. Kaidan. Evelyn smiled, rolled over to her computer, and remotely ordered the door to slide open. Kaidan stood just beyond the threshold, hands full of food for the two of them. How did he manage to knock? Evelyn wondered.
"I thought we could go over some business over dinner, ma'am." He stated as he walked in, the door sliding shut behind him.
Evelyn chuckled. "You noticed I hadn't eaten, did you?"
"I notice everything about you, Shepard," Kaidan winked, his husky voice flirtatious.
Her heart sped up a bit and her cheeks flushed pink. "Is that so, Lieutenant?" she smiled back coyly.
"Absolutely, Commander." He placed the trays on the table and waltzed over to the bed, offering one of his rugged hands to help her up. She placed her pale delicate one in his and grinned as he pulled her off the bed, supporting her with his other arm. Their bodies temporarily pressed against each other, hearts beating quickly. Evelyn looked up at him, fighting the urge to break regulations. "What was it…you um…wanted to discuss, LT?" She stammered, trying to maintain control and sound business-like.
Kaidan recognized her struggle and took a step backwards, smirking. "Somewhat personal, somewhat work-related," he stated, his eyes intensely set on hers, not remotely putting her at ease.
She nervously gulped, "Let's have it."
Kaidan sighed, relinquishing his farce. "The deeper we get into this mess, the bigger it seems. I'm just looking for an ear. The debriefing wasn't the right place to say how ridiculous this is. Seems like every other race in the galaxy is wrapped up in their own problems. They don't want to see what's coming."
Shepard relaxed with his change in demeanor – such a tease, she thought. She sighed, "You can't blame them - Wanting to believe everything will be fine? Sounds like human nature to me."
"Yeah. I guess some things carry across species well enough. I should remember that after what happened with Vyrnnus..." Kaidan's gravelly voice trailed off after uttering the turian's name.
"You mentioned him before," Evelyn laid sympathetic eyes on Kaidan. "What happened with him, exactly?"
Kaidan shook his head and swallowed, composing himself again before speaking. "You remember I mentioned Rhana?" Shepard nodded. "Well, one day, she reached for a glass of water instead of pulling it biotically. She just wanted a drink without getting a nosebleed, you know?" Kaidan sighed. "Like an idiot, I stood up. I didn't know what I was going to do…just something." His hands clenched into fists. "And Vyrnnus lost it. Beat the crap out of me. Kept shouting how they should have bombed us back into the Stone Age. That's when the knife came up. A military-issue talon. Right in my face. I cut loose...Full biotic kick, right in the teeth. Almost as strong as I can manage now. At seventeen, that's something." He looked down, as if ashamed. Evelyn could tell by the pain in his visage what the outcome had been.
"That kick…it killed him, didn't it, Kaidan?" Her grey eyes were wide and sympathetic. Her gaze flickered briefly from his amber pools to his strong hands as he placed them on the table.
"Yeah," he exhaled. "Snapped his neck. They probably could've saved him, if they got him to an infirmary quick enough. But they didn't." Kaidan hid his eyes from her, steadying his gaze on his hands. His posture stiffened, bracing himself for her reaction.
Shepard wanted nothing more in this instant to take his hands in hers, to intertwine her fingers with his. She settled for placing her palms on the table inches away from Kaidan's. The energy between their closeness would have to suffice as they were on duty. "Kaidan, you tried to help someone you care about. You couldn't have possibly known that the rest would play out that way."
Kaidan stretched his legs under the table, accidentally brushing them against Evelyn's. He stopped moving and kept his legs out straight to relish the brief contact. Shepard blushed and slowly pulled hers back, purposely drawing it out. Kaidan grinned, please by the brief contact, but mostly relieved from her words that came before. "You have no idea how good it is to hear you say that, Shepard," he confessed. "I still can't believe how comfortable I am with you." His amber eyes met her silver ones.
"Why do you say that, Kaidan?" What is he talking about? Is he not this confident around women usually?
"After BAaT, I went through some tough times with women." He admitted. "They made me hesitant and unsure of myself as far as relationships went." Evelyn's glowing eyes invited him to tell her more. "Rhana was afraid of me after I killed Vyrnnus and we never spoke again. That stuck with me, and I decided to not tell anyone I dated about my biotics." Kaidan pulled back his hand and ran his fingers through his hair. "The first girl I dated after BAat, Marissa, was intense. Everything was over the top with her, and things moved fast. We had been intimate a few times, and I thought things were going well enough to tell her about my biotics." He swallowed. "She pushed me away, called me a monster, and told me to never speak to her again." Evelyn's silver orbs were wide with sadness – she couldn't believe someone would treat him that way. Before she could respond, Kaidan continued. "So then I decided it best to keep my biotics a secret. I dated around for a while, but it was hard hiding something so important, so most relationships didn't last. Then there was Laura. We dated for over a year, and when I started to seriously consider our future, I realized we couldn't have one if she didn't know." He exhaled heavily. "When I finally told her, she got defensive. She couldn't believe I kept something so big from her for so long, said she wasn't sure if she could trust me. When I explained why, including what happened with Vyrnnus, she called me a murderer and ran away crying." He gazed down at the table, where his hands had settled again.
Evelyn laced her fingers together to keep from touching his, longing to console him with her touch with physical contact. "Kaidan," her breathy voice beckoned his eyes to meet hers again. "I'm so sorry you were treated that way. You didn't deserve that - any of it. You're a good man. You're not a monster. You deserve to be happy." She laid out each statement like a piece of evidence. "Your biotics save lives. Remember that."
Kaidan yearned to lean across the table and kiss Shepard intimately; the words she said brought him long needed comfort. He knew they were already dancing the line with their brief touch, and fought back the urge to do anything that could really get them in trouble while on duty. "Thank you, Shepard," he whispered, his golden pools exploring her silver ones, noting the sparkle and smile in her eyes.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter and my little head cannon about Kaidan's past relationships!
PS: One more chapter stands between you and NSFW Land. *devilish grin*