A/N: Thank you to all that took an interest in this story. Sorry it took me so long to update but real life as it so often does gets in the way and I was also having trouble with the direction I wanted this story to go in. Let me know what you think. And as always Happy Reading!!
"Where is she Doc?" Lee asked.
Lee was on maneuvers with the other Viper pilots when he got a call from Gaeta telling him he needed to return asap to Galactica because Dee had passed out in CIC. As soon as his Viper landed he ran all the way from the hanger to sickbay. With each step Lee took he prayed to the Gods that Dee was alright. Once Lee made it to sickbay he started to look around for anyone that could tell him where Dee was and how she was doing.
"Major, over here." said a scratchy voice in the corner.
Lee looked over and saw Doctor Cottle waving him over to where he was standing.
"Doc where is she?" Lee asked concerned. He was trying to do his best to keep his composure so he put his military face on.
"Look Major, I need to know right now what is going on with Dee? She looks like crap." Cottle said throwing all bedside manner out the hatch.
Lee never really liked Cottle. The man had no frakin' bedside manner what so ever. The only reason most people put up with his crap was because he was good at his job and that's why if push came to shove and your life was on the line you wanted Cottle as your doctor. So when Lee heard Cottle say Dee looked like crap he took it with a grain of salt and moved past the comment.
"Long story short, she hasn't been sleeping well and since she not sleeping she's not eating. I've been trying to get her to sleep and eat but it's been hard." Lee said.
"Well I can tell she isn't sleeping or eating Major did you miss my she looks like crap comment. What I need to know is what's causing her to stop sleeping and eating so I can diagnose her better." Cottle said.
"Her dreams." Lee huffed out in frustration.
"Her dreams? What about them?" Cottle asked. Hoping it wasn't what he thought it was.
"For the past two weeks Dee has been having these dreams, nightmares really. They have been keeping her up at night. She'll wake up in a cold sweat and start screaming. I can get her to go back to sleep for maybe fifteen to twenty centons at a time but then the images come back and we start all over again. She told me that she wasn't going to go in today and use the time while on was on maneuvers to rest." Lee said.
"Well she lied. Now why did you wait so long to tell me this?" Cottle said.
"We thought that they would go away in time and that it was just stress caused by the long hours we all have been putting in lately. Look Doc, I know I should have gotten her in here sooner and I'm sorry for that but I have to know what do we do now?! What do we do because she can't go on like this and neither can I. I can't see her in pain any more." Lee said.
Cottle took pity on the young Major and that hard exterior he often showed visible softened and he placed a hand on Lee's shoulder. He could see that Lee was tired and pulling double duty as caring husband and CAG was starting to take it's toll on him. Cottle saw Lee could use some reassurance right now that things were going to get better.
"I'm going to do everything I can to make Dee better Major. You have my word on that." Cottle said.
Lee was so shocked at Cottle's show of kindness he almost tripped over his words."Thanks Doc. Can I see her now?" Lee asked.
"Yes. I'll take you to her. She's resting comfortable right now thanks to the sedative I gave her." Cottle said as he walked Lee to where Dee was.
Cottle pulled back the curtain and Lee felt relief wash over him as he looked at Dee's sleeping form. For the first time in weeks she looked calm and peaceful. All Lee wanted to do was crawl into bed with her and fall asleep next to his wife and enjoy the feel of her near him. He sat down in the chair next to Dee and grabbed her hand kissing it gently then moved a strand of hair out of her face.
Lee was about to ask Cottle a question when he felt Dee's hand start to fidget in his. He turned back around to Dee and could see that she dreaming and by the look on her face it was the same dream.
"Doc, how long was that sedative supposed to last?"Lee asked.
Cottle walked over to Dee and looked at her. "It should have lasted longer than this. Is this how it's been?"
"Yes, and soon she will wake up screaming." Lee said.
"I hope you're not waiting till she gets to that point Major. How about you try and wake her up before she scares the frak out of everyone in my sickbay." Cottle said.
Lee nodded and softly called Dee's name. His heart broke as he watched her whimper and start to cry in her sleep. He knew she was reaching the part where he died in the dream. Lee tried again to wake her before she started screaming and as Cottle so kindly put it "scares the frak out of everyone". Slowly he could see that Dee was waking up and he was very thankful with no screaming.
Her eyes as they always did searched out for him and soon they found him she latched on to him, her life line, and held on tight. Lee sat there like he always did and held on to Dee. Quietly telling her he was there and that she was alright and that it was just a dream.
Dee pulled away from Lee's embrace and looked around. She cursed underneath her breath when she realized that not only was she in sickbay but that she had been busted big time. She looked at Lee and smiled.
"I'm in trouble aren't I?" Dee asked still groggy with sleep.
Lee smiled and kissed his wife on the forehead.
"Yes you are. You told me that you were going to rest while I was on maneuvers. Instead...I find that not only did you not rest but that you went to work then passed out. Why didn't you just stay home and rest like you promised?" Lee asked.
"Lee, I tried. I really tried. I just couldn't. Every time I would close my eyes I would dream and when I would wake up you weren't there. I started to pace around the room trying to find anything to keep my mind occupied but I couldn't. I thought the only way to know that you were truly ok was to go CIC and watch you on the Dradis screen. I was doing fine for a while and then I felt this wave of nausea hit me and then I started to feel light headed. The last thing I remember is Gaeta asking me if I was ok and before I could say anything I saw black. What's going on with me Lee?" Dee said.
"I think I might have the answer or at least part of it." Cottle said looking at some paperwork the nurse just handed him.
Cottle walked over to Dee's bed and stood in front of it looking straight at her. Dee's eyes traveled upward to Cottle face and when she saw the look on his face she frowned. She had seen similar looks before from her father when he was disappointed in her behavior.
"I told you two weeks ago to get your ass in here for your physical because you were a month over due and I was tired of you dodging me. If you had I may have been able to help you out a little bit sooner and warned you about the nausea." Cottle said shaking a finger at Dee.
Lee gave a Cottle a puzzled look because he couldn't follow what Cottle was saying.
"You're losing me here. What do you mean you could have warned her about the nausea sooner? What's wrong with her?" Lee said.
"Well Major, usually women in her condition start to feel sick early in their pregnancy." Cottle said.
"Preg..Pregnant?" Dee asked.
"She's pregnant?" Lee asked.
"Yes to both questions." Cottle said with a smile.
Dee looked at Lee and smiled as her eyes started to water.
"We're going to have a baby." Dee said.
Lee grabbed his wife and hugged her while they both laughed and cried at the same time.
"I'm going to be father! Whoa!" Lee yelled.
"Major! I know this a happy moment for the both of but could you keep it down. I do have sick people trying to rest here." Cottle said.
"Sorry Doc, got carried a way." Lee said.
Dee wiped away her happy tears but couldn't stop smiling and she could see that Lee couldn't stop either. Then she looked over to Cottle who still looked serious and her smile started to fade away.
"There's more isn't there." Dee said. It was a statement more than a question.
"Yes, there is." Cottle said. He wished there wasn't but the confirmation of Dee's pregnancy confirmed his worst fears.
Lee grabbed his wife's hand in his and held on tight.
"What ever it is we can handle it." Lee said.
"I hope so Major. I need to be straight with you both of. There is a very good chance Dee that you may not make it term." Cottle said.
Lee's good mood was dashed way with Cottle's words and now it was replaced with fear for his wife and unborn child.
"What do you mean?" Lee asked.
"I have seen cases like Dee's back when I was stationed on Sagittaron about thirty years ago. I was finishing my planetary rotation as a field doctor and was stationed on Sagittaron to finish up my residency. I was one of only three doctors on the whole planet and didn't see many patients because of the Sagittaron's backwards ass religious practices. Sorry Dee." Cottle said when he remembered Dee was Sagittaron.
"None taken. I'm not fond of them myself. That's why I joined the military as soon as I could to escape that madness. Please go on." Dee said.
" In my last year there three patients came to me looking for help. All three pregnant and all three were having dream like visions. They came to me because the shamans in there settlement couldn't figure out what was wrong with them and told them to come seek out alternative treatment. So, the three women came to me along with the shaman of the settlement to see if science and magic if you wanna call it that could solve the problem and save not only these women but their unborn children as well." Cottle said.
"What happened to them?" Lee asked.
Cottle sighed and really wished he had a cigarette right now. He hated thinking about his time on that fraked up planet with all their stupid religious practices. How many lives he could have saved if they just would have listened to him and taken the medicine he had offered? It had taken a long time for the wounds he had suffered from that time in his life to heal and now it felt like they were being ripped open again and no one knows better than a doctor that old wounds have trouble healing once re-opened.
"I checked all three of them out and found nothing abnormal about their pregnancies and nothing at first jumped out when I examined them further. It wasn't until I had one of them hooked up to an EKG machine when she was dreaming that I saw that there was something different in her brain activity. It seemed like her brain activity increased while she was asleep. Her brain was working over time. I couldn't explain it so I asked what she was dreaming and she said it was like she was seeing things to come and that each time she dreamed she would see more. The shaman said that these dreams didn't start until the women were pregnant. They had all experienced a kind of deju-vu but nothing like what they were experiencing now. It was the like pregnancy was increasing the intensity of the visions." Cottle said.
"What happened to the women?" Dee asked.
"Two of them lost their babies because the dreams and stress of what they were seeing was just too much. Not to mention the fact that what they saw came true." Cottle said.
"And the third? What happened to the third?" Lee asked.
Cottle once again sighed and wished again for that cigarette.
"She managed to make it to term but....the dreams were too much for her and had taken it's toll on her. She died during child birth." Cottle said.
"And the baby? Did the baby live?" Dee asked.
"Yes, the baby lived. It was a little girl." Cottle said.
Lee took a deep breath and took in what he had just heard. It hit him like a ton of bricks. He felt happy, scared, and whole bunch of other emotions wrapped up in one. He looked over to Dee who looked more lost and scared than he had ever seen her before. Lee decided right then and there that he was not going to lose his wife or his baby to the unknown future.
"Ok, so what do we do to keep Dee and the baby healthy and alive because I'm not losing either one of them." Lee said.
"I don't know Major. Whatever is going with Dee is tied to her dreams. I can make sure she and the baby are healthy but the dreams and interpreting them is something out of my expertise." Cottle said.
"Well then who do we go to?" Dee said.
"If we were on Sagittarion I would tell you to see the shaman of your settlement but that option was taken away by the Cylons, so you will have to go to the Thera Sita. I heard they have Sagittarions on that ship. Maybe one of them might be a shaman and able to help. So, until we find out if there is one o I'm going to give you Nuerotin." Cottle said.
"What's that?" Lee asked.
"In normal people it would help them sleep and suppress their dreams but in your case I'm not sure." Cottle said.
"It won't hurt the baby will it?" Dee asked.
"No, it won't." Cottle said then moved from the front of the bed over to Dee's side near Lee.
He looked at the young couple and knew the fear they were having all to well. He didn't envy the journey they were about to go on.
"Listen you two, I know I just pulled the rug right out from under you on this and I'm sorry. I wish things were different for you. This should be the happiest moment of your lives not the scariest. It seems like that every time one of us gets some good news it's quickly taken away by something devastating and we lose all hope. Do not let this be one of those time. We still have time to figure out something to save both of you so no giving up. You hear me?" Cottle said.
Cottle looked at Lee and Dee and they both nodded.
"Good. Now, I'm going to get you the Nuerotin and then I'm going to release you to go home. Dee you will be on light duty from this point on. You can only be on duty four to eight hours a day. No more than that. None of that twelve to twenty four crap that you usual pull. I want to keep you as stress free as possible." Cottle said.
"You don't have to worry Doc she will be following those orders. If she doesn't I have some pull with her boss." Lee said.
"Use what ever you have to Major. I also suggest that you cut some of your duties down as well Major. She's going to need you more then she knows. You two will be leaning a lot more on each other." Cottle said.
"Sure. Anything she needs." Lee said looking at Dee then kissing her hand.
"Alright then. I'll be right back and then you can both leave." Cottle said then left to get the Nuerotin.
Lee and Dee sat quietly holding each other's hand while they waited for Cottle to return. When he did he handed the Nuerotin to Lee.
"Have her take one pill with food and water an hour before she goes to bed. It should get you at least a couple of hours of dreamless sleep. In the meantime young lady I want you to see you in the next three weeks. I want to see how far long you are and see how well you progressing. No dodging me Dee." Cottle said.
"I won't. I'll be here." Dee said.
"I will make the appointment so she doesn't miss it." Lee said.
"Ok, well you are free to go and one last thing. Congratulations you two. Go and enjoy the fact that you are going to parents." Cottle said then left to have a much needed cigarette.
After checking Dee out of the infirmary Lee was taking Dee back to their quarters but then made a quick detour. Dee was so tired and still reeling from the news they just received that she didn't notice the change in direction. As they continued on their path that's when Dee started to notice they were not headed towards home.
"Lee, where are we going?" Dee asked.
Lee didn't answer and kept walking towards their destination. When they arrived Dee knew right away what Lee was up to. She pulled him to the side just before he was about to pass the marine in front of the hatch.
"Lee, maybe we should wait until I'm a little further along to tell your father." Dee said.
"Are you kidding me? The old man would stroke if we kept this from him and you know how secrets are on this ship. They always have away of getting out and when he's the last to know he feels like someone fraked him by not telling him and I think we all need some good news and I can't think of better news than this." Lee said.
"I know and I wanna tell your dad. I just don't want to get his or our hopes up and then something happens." Dee said.
"Dee, I know you are afraid and I am too. If we let fear control our lives then we might as well just give up on this baby and I'm not doing that. From this point on, I want nothing but good thoughts. Ok?" Lee said.
This is what Dee loved about her husband. She loved his inner strength and that iron will determination that all Adama's were infamous for. When Lee got something in his head there was no going back.
"You're right. What we need now is good thoughts." Dee said.
"We can get through anything Dee as long as we are together. Now, how's about we go tell the old man that in about nine months he will have to add Grandfather to his list of titles?" Lee said.
Dee nodded and smiled happily at her husband. She was trying her best not to show Lee that deep down inside she was scared and that hope seemed as fragile as a rain drop.
While Lee and Dee were telling the Admiral the good news and everything they just learned, Cottle was sitting in his office at his desk. He reached in the bottom draw of the desk and pulled out a bottle of whiskey and a glass. He usually shared the contents of the bottle with Colonel Tigh whenever the other needed to drown their sorrows or when they wanted to remember better days but today...today was one of those days that Cottle wanted to drown his sorrows alone.
The glass he was drinking from was one of only three out of set of six that he received many years ago. Cottle didn't prize much in his life but these last three glasses meant everything to him. They were made of a rare crystal that was only found on Aquarion and were very expensive. Cottle poured the whiskey in the glass then held it up to the light. He watched as the light shined through the crystal and created a kaleidoscope of colors that danced for him as he turned the glass around in his hand. The beauty of such a small thing and the memory that the glasses often invoked was too much and he downed the whiskey in the glass. Before he could think about it he poured himself another glass then reached back into the same draw he pulled the whiskey and the glass out of. He reached way in the back and grabbed a file that was barely holding itself together. It had been with him as long as he could remember. He had tried many times to get rid of the file and the feelings that came along with away it but somehow, the file and the feelings always found there way back to him.
The file hit the desk and like a book that had been read many times it opened up right to the page that he always looked at; patient information. Cottle knew every word on that page by heart. It had been burned into his memory over the years. He looked at the picture that was still attached to the file and despite himself he smiled as he traced the lines of her face. Even though the picture was faded and had been damaged over the years by time, the beauty of the young woman in the photo still stood out.
Cottle took long slow sip of his whiskey while he looked at the picture then took out a cigarette and lit it. As he inhaled then blew out the smoke it was like he was blowing out the pain and confusion that looking in to the past always caused him. He removed the picture from the file and held it up front of him. He was careful not to let the ash from the cigarette touch the picture or the folder.
"Here we are again baby. Just you and me, alone in the dark, staring at each other. I remember that you used to love times like this when it was just you and I, no prying eyes, pretending that there was no one else in the universe except us. Those were good times. I miss those days. I'm sorry Angel that I haven't looked at your picture in a long time.... it's still hard to think about my time with you. To know that I couldn't save you, still hurts my hear like a son-of-a-bitch. I didn't think I would have to go through that pain again of watching another young women go through what you went through..."Cottle stopped in mid sentence because the words and the emotions he was feeling became to much for him.
Cottle took another drink from his glass then poured himself another. He took another drag off his cigarette and felt his nerves again calm themselves again. "You know, I didn't believe you when you said this would happen again. I thought it was just some mumbo-jumbo that you're people had taught you but today proved me wrong. There is a young woman on board Angel that reminds of me a lot of you. She's beautiful, head strong, and very stubborn, in other words you'd love her. She gives her husband a run for his money and fights for what she wants, just like a certain somebody did when I first met her. Anyway, she will be heading down the same path you took and just like I was for you, I'm afraid for her. There is only so much I can do for her and I'm scared that it might not be enough. I just hope that whatever happens, that I can save her life and do more for her then I did for you." Cottle said.
Suddenly feeling emotionally drained, Cottle down the whiskey in his glass then moved away from the desk over to the cot that was in his office. He had it put in there soon after the ship got over crowded with refugees. He tried living with some of the medical staff in the section Adama had given them but it didn't take long before they all annoyed him so he asked that a cot be placed in his office. He gave the excuse that he needed to be near his patients but Adama didn't buy it. He knew that Cottle just wasn't a people person and was just too old to change his ways so he ok'd the move and the cot.
Cottle lay on the cot then look over to the desk where he had still left the light on. He was too tired to get up so he just said frak it and left it on. He looked at the picture that was still in his hand. He didn't even realize that he was still holding it. He kissed the picture and told the women in the photo he loved her then drifted off to place in his dreams where she was still alive.