this chapter takes place during the Lost Missions episodes 'Orders' and 'An Old Friend'. Not Fox's best moment. I noticed re-watching Five's death that Fox is not among the Guards who circle around because they all have white helmets. So where did Fox go?

Rex and the General were caught behind the ray shield, ARC trooper Fives was going for a weapon, and Fox did what he was trained to do. He leveled his blaster and fired.

He watched as the man, his brother, fell. Someone shot out the ray shield. Rex dropped, calling for a medic, to the dying ARC's side. With his extraordinary hearing, improved by the buy'ce's sensors he heard Fives' words, "I was only doing my duty..."

The blaster fell from Fox's grasp. He looked down at his hands and the red gauntlets looked like they were covered in blood. He ripped them off along with his gloves. He didn't join the rest of his company who circled the dead man, the Captain, and the General. Instead he ran. He had never run away from anything in his life, but now he couldn't get away fast enough.

He found the speeder bike that Fives had used to get to the warehouse, he wouldn't be needing it anymore, hopped on, and took off with no special destination in mind. But no, he did have somewhere to go, someone to turn to.

Fox activated the comm, "Soniee?" His voice sounded young and scared in his own ears. He could only imagine what she sensed about him through the Force.

"Fox, are you all right? Where are you?" Her voice was like an instant balm.

"On a bike, headed your way. I - I need to see you, talk to you. I - I killed a brother..."

"Don't bother about going through the building. I'll be on the balcony. Padme is on Scipio. You don't have to worry. I'm here."

"A-alright." He deactivated the comm so he could concentrate on flying. He couldn't get the image out of his head, that glowing hole in the plastoid chest plate and the look on Five's face. What had he done? He was only doing his duty, right? The ARC had gone crazy, attacked the Chancellor, at least, that's what they were told...

As he got closer to the Senate apartment complex he could see the lone figure standing on the penthouse balcony. She was wearing sleep pants and a tunic with a belt to which her ever present buy'ce was clipped on. Her hair was down and blowing slightly in the breeze and her arms were wrapped around herself as if she were cold. In short she looked beautiful, like an angel of mercy.

When he brought the bike alongside the balcony and jumped off, she opened her arms to accept him. He almost tripped in his hurry to reach her, tearing off his helmet and belt and kama as he went.

She didn't ask questions, she just returned his hug as fiercely as he hugged her.

"I killed him." He confessed. "He had attacked the Chancellor. We were ordered to catch him. He went for a weapon..." He buried his face against the side of her neck where it met her shoulder. She smelled amazing and her hair was slightly damp. He ran his fingers through the chestnut strands.

"You're a good soldier, Fox. You were following orders." She held him tight, full of compassion. "And I know... how you feel... how I felt after I killed those men. You just want to feel alive."

He could feel the pulse point in her throat and pressed his lips to the spot. He opened his mouth to lick the delicate skin there and nip and suck. He wanted to leave a mark.

She gasped but she didn't pull away. "You want to feel that there's still good in you." She continued. "You want to feel loved..." She wasn't just remembering, the was empathizing with him here and now, feeling what he was feeling.

He wove his fingers into the tresses behind her ear and tilted her head back, kissing her fully on the mouth. "I need you, Soniee," he whispered.

"I know." It wasn't the overwhelming exclamation of mutual desire that he would have liked but it was a consent of sorts and he would show her. He would make love to her like no one ever had. He would make her forget that she had ever had another lover.

Fox lifted her into his arms and began to carry her through the apartment. The droids were nowhere to be seen. She must have dismissed them to some out of the way corner when she heard he was coming so they wouldn't be disturbed.

He wondered why after all this time of keeping him at arms length she was suddenly so accommodating. Perhaps she had taken to heart what he had overheard Bonteri advise her about getting on with her life with someone who was obviously crazy about her. Maybe it was just what the moment required: he was a friend in need of something that she could provide. He hated to think that it could possibly be pity. Part of him didn't care what the reason was. He was so in love with her and so thankful to have the opportunity to show her exactly how much.

He carried her over the threshold into her bedroom and she waved her hand at the door, closing and locking it behind them. Then he set her down on her feet and the helmet clipped to her belt swung around and bumped his hip. She hadn't let the thing out of her reach since her friend had promised to force the di'kut send her a comm.

It made Fox angry. "If you were mine I'd never make you wait weeks on end for a comm." He removed her belt and tossed it with the helmet still attached so that it went skidding across the floor.

"Oh Fox..." She crooned and wrapped her arms around his neck but he couldn't quite read the look in her eyes that were shining with what might have been tears.

He kissed her, trying to put everything that he felt for her into the action. He groaned when she stood up on her tiptoes in an effort to draw closer to him. He slipped his hands under her tunic, exploring her waist, her ribs, her back, and crushing her body closer to his own.

She moaned against his lips.

"If you were mine, I would treat you like a queen." He lifted her tunic off over her head and just stood and gazed at her for a moment. Then he carefully backed her up to the bed and sat her on the edge of it. Never taking his eyes off her, he removed the rest of his armor and quickly pulled off the shirt portion of his black body glove.

She looked him over, biting her lip, and he wasn't sure if she was nervous or excited or afraid. She laid back, staring at the ceiling, waiting.

He wanted to say something to reassure her. He wanted to stand there gazing at the beautiful picture she made, lying there. He wanted to forget all pretense and kriff her till they both forgot their own names. He settled on revealing more of her body to his hungry gaze. Kneeling next to the bed he placed his hands on her knees and ran them up to the waistband of her pants. He began to peel them down and she obliged by lifting her hips. He drew them off completely and sucked in a breath at the sight of her shapely legs and feet.

Who knew that feet could be so small and lovely and perfect? Of course he had seen her bare feet before, padding around the apartment, but never had he taken the taken the opportunity to appreciate how exquisitely they transitioned from toes to arches to heals to ankles to calves... He took one perfect foot between his hands and placed his lips at the little hollow just below the inside of her ankle.

She gave a little cry, "Fox!"

And he looked up, alarmed that he had done something wrong, that he had hurt her. What he saw were her eyes wide, and her mouth curling into a shy smile. She seemed as surprised and pleased as he was that he had stumbled on such an unexpected erogenous zone.

There was also the fact that she had called out his name and not anyone else's. She wasn't dreaming now and she was smiling. Leaving her feet for later he couldn't help but creep up over her to claim that smile with his mouth. He kissed her deeply and sank till his own chest pressed flush against hers, skin to skin for the first time. She arched to meet him and he slipped an arm under her back as her arms wrapped around him.

"Cyar'ika, ner ka'rta, ner runi!" Beloved, my heart, my soul! He breathed. "Be mine, Soniee. Please say you'll be..."

She froze and again he was afraid that he had held her too tight or said the wrong thing. Then he heard it too, the soft ping of the comm from her helmet across the room.

"Don't!" He whispered urgently even as she was removing her arms from around him. "Don't get it! Stay here with me!"

She turned her face away from his attempt at another kiss. "I have to. I have to know..."

He didn't make it easy for her to clamber out from under him. As soon as she'd managed it, he slammed his fist down on the mattress and cursed.

"I'm sorry, Fox. I just have to know." She didn't look at him but he watched her.

Kriff she was beautiful in nothing but her panties. She grabbed a blanket that was folded at the foot of the bed and wrapped it around her shoulders. And she had almost been his... Then she picked up her buy'ce, with the belt it was still clipped to, and put it on...