Chapter 35

That night the Gardiner's had a quiet evening at home, inviting Mr. Hines to dine with them. Elizabeth had noticeably cooled toward him, and he was puzzled as to the reason. After dinner he escorted Elizabeth to a couple of chairs in the corner while Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner were seated at the other end of the room.

"Mrs. Collins," he started, staring into her eyes. "I must tell you my intentions towards you before we continue further. I would like to marry you and share my life with you. I had thought you wanted the same, but now I am not so sure."

Elizabeth felt her heart drop as she looked into Mr. Hines' eyes. He was such a good man, so very different than both Mr. Collins and Mr. Darcy. He seemed to embody the best of both men, and altogether have something unique about him from either.

"Mr. Hines, I must tell you something about my first marriage," she paused, trying to gather the best words. "I married Mr. Collins for purely mercenary reasons. I did not love him, not even a little. I was privy to a secret knowledge that my Father was in ill health, and since his estate was entailed to Mr. Collins, I knew that at his death my Mother and sisters and I would be thrown out of the house and become dependent on relatives, or forced into service. When Mr. Collins proposed to me I saw the means by which I could save us, and I took it with grasping hands."

Mr. Hines narrowed his eyes, then moved to place his hand atop hers, but stopped. "I do not know that I deserve such confidences, but if it eases your mind I am glad to know it. Your marriage to Mr. Collins and the reasons why are entirely your own. I see nothing mercenary in wanting to provide for your family, nor should you. I care for you, Elizabeth, and all I need to know is if you care for me in return."

Elizabeth looked down at her hands, trying to fight the tears that threatened to pool in her eyes. "I do not know...I...I feel like I could. I just need more time."

Mr. Hines cleared his throat, "I have business that calls me away from town for a week or two, after the New Year. I know you plan to return to Hertfordshire at that time as well. If I came to Longbourn after my business has concluded, do you think you would know your mind better?"

Nodding her head, Elizabeth said, "Yes, I think so."

"There," Mr. Hines sat straighter, "it is settled then. Until then I shall be the luckiest man in London to escort you to the fine dinners and soirees."

Elizabeth laughed at his exuberance, and looking toward her Aunt and Uncle saw they too were smiling at her. But what she kept within herself was a small hope that somehow Mr. Darcy would come to her, and offer for her, but there was a small part of her that questioned whether she could accept a man who was complicit in the most sinful part of her life, inadvertently becoming a daily reminder of her shameful past.

s-S-s

Miss Darcy called on the Gardiner's house directly at noon. She was pleased to meet Elizabeth's Aunt and her brood of children. Georgianna spoke of her own baby niece who, despite having a shaky start in life, was doing well. Conversation turned to Miss Darcy's season, which she was all too willing to share. At the end of their meeting Georgianna begged Elizabeth if she would call on her tomorrow morning so that they might take a walk together.

"I must confess, Miss Darcy," Elizabeth started as she was seeing Georgianna out the door, "I do not know why you choose me, a widow of no consequence, as a companion."

"Do you not?" She asked, a twinkle in her eye. "My brother has always spoken highly of you, and he never lies."

With those parting words Georgianna walked down the steps to the waiting carriage and drove off.

The next morning Elizabeth arrived at Darcy House and was led into a waiting room and told Miss Darcy would be down momentarily. Elizabeth seated herself on a plush chair and was looking about the room when the doors suddenly opened. Turning her head, Elizabeth could see Mr. Darcy standing in the doorway, staring at her.

"Mr. Darcy," Elizabeth rose from her chair and curtsied.

After closing the door behind him, Darcy strode across the room to where Elizabeth stood and took her hands in his. "My dear," he whispered, gazing into her eyes, his own lit with a deep fire. "I am sorry for this little subterfuge, but I had to see you."

"Pardon?" Elizabeth asked.

"I asked my sister to invite you here so that we could talk."

Elizabeth looked about the room, afraid a servant would see them together.

"Do not worry, my love, I merely wish to talk." He sat, pulling Elizabeth down next to him on the sofa.

"I am sorry about your wife," Elizabeth started.

"I was sad to see her go. She was so full of life, but towards the end she knew I did not love her and suspected I loved another. Her last words to me were 'forgive me,' and then she was gone."

"I understand her and Miss Darcy were close friends?"

Darcy nodded his head, "Yes, in a manner of speaking."

There was small pause where Darcy did nothing but look at Elizabeth, keeping her hands firmly in her own.

"Elizabeth, I still care for you...I still love you."

There was hope in his eyes, a shining light that seemed to warm Elizabeth, but her shame clouded over, and she took her hands out of his grasp. "Mr. Darcy, I do not-"

"Are you...that man you were with at the Opera, is he more than a friend?"

"Mr. Hines is a newer acquaintance of mine who has expressed an interest in courting me."

"And do you reciprocate his feelings?" He asked tensely.

"I do not know," Elizabeth fell into herself. "I must go." She rose from her seat and made to leave but Darcy followed her.

"Please, Elizabeth, we are given a chance here to make things right. My daughter needs a Mother and your son needs a Father. Marry me."

Elizabeth stopped as she reached the door and turned around. Had they indeed been given a second chance? Would Providence so cruelly take the lives of two people, so that they, sinners of the worst kind, could be together? Or was this a test? A chance to forsake their natures and pay penance for their sins?

"Please, let me go." Elizabeth begged, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. Darcy's eyes widened at her double meaning. Not only to let her leave the house, but to let her go from his heart.

In his stunned silence Elizabeth left the house, hailing a cab to take her home, sobbing the entire ride.