Chapter 11 message

Rose POV

6 months later…

I looked into his eyes. At his smile. How could a perfect creature like that have fallen for me? Dimitri grabbed my hand. He saw that I was nervous. We went to the graveyard. To visit my mom. She was buried in New York. So this was only the second time I visited her. It was about eight hours away from my home now. I was doing reasonable okay without her. I accepted it. The only thing I didn't understand were my dreams. It was the last half year about the car crash. I had a hard time dealing with it. I hadn't told anyone about it yet. I wanted to do it for so long but I didn't have the courage. You are telling it him today! I thought to myself.

We walked on the gravel path up the hill. My mom did get a beautiful place. In the mid of the cemetery. I looked at Dimitri again and at our laced fingers. I stopped when I recognized the grave. I just stared at it for a long time.

Janine Hathaway

20/8/1980-21/7/2015

Beloved mother and best friend.

My heart broke all over again. I let go of Dimitris hand and fell down on my knees. I started crying. I hid my face in my hands. Dimitri sat down next to me. He wrapped his arms around me. I started sobbing uncontrollably. Maybe I accepted she was gone it did still hurt. The one who raised me was gone.

'Shh, Roza. It is going to be okay' Dimitri said trying to comfort me. I shook my head.

'No, it's not' I said back whispering. He tightened his grip around me and it helped a little. I started to quiet down. Dimitri pulled back and moved in front of me. He wiped away my tears and his hand rested on my cheek. I looked up in his beautiful chocolate brown eyes again. I smiled a little. I got up and laid the flowers I brought with me on the grave. It were white roses. My mom loved them.

When I decided it was time to go I grabbed Dimitris hand again and walked away. I glanced one time back before it was out of sight. I sighed. When we got to the car Dimitri opened the door as a gentleman. I grinned a little and got in. We would go back to his house. I practically lived there. I graduated about a week ago and I turned eighteen three months ago. So I was finally an adult and no one had to watch over me anymore. I spoke to Jane every day when I wasn't with her. We had a lot arguments again but that was okay. My life was doing fine.

Lissa and I were still close. Mason and Christian were also still my friends. Yes, Sparky was my friend too. Though, I didn't really want to admit. We had a regular day we would meet each other and do something fun.

Lucas on the other hand.. Well, I hadn't heard from him since we broke up and I was glad. Our relationship was a big mistake. I was in love with Dimitri all along. I should have known that before I was so stupid to hurt someone. I did care about him but not enough.

Dimitri and I were taking things slow. Than kind of slow that I was still a virgin. He agreed with me and said I had to be ready. I was ready but I still doubted. I hadn't even told him that I loved him. And I did so badly. I was just so afraid of losing him. What if he died just like my mom and would leave me? I couldn't bare it. So I did keep my distance and it felt wrong.

After eight hours driving we finally arrived at his home. When we were in the living room I took of my shoes and settled down on the couch. Dimitri followed my lead and did the same. He sat down next to me and pulled me closer. I smelled his aftershave. I loved it.

'Do you want to watch something?' he asked.

'Uhm.. No. I want to talk about something' I said. He felt that it was serious and moved away from me a little so he could look me in the eyes. He nodded and I know he would listen to me.

'You know about the dreams, right?' I asked unsure.

'Yes. The ones that you keep having every night. What about them?'

'Well, they are keep getting clearer. And it is about the accident from my mom. The weird thing is that I absolutely have no memory about that day. Nothing. I never wanted to think about it. But it's weird. Shouldn't I have remembered something?'

'I think so. Can you tell me the details? Only if you want to' he said.

'Of course. You know the beginning about the cliff with my mom being pushed. After that all I ran to a road. It was vaguely familiar even I didn't know the place. Then I saw a car coming. My mom's. I saw it hitting a tree and she wasn't alone. I was in it to' I explained. When I finished a shiver went down my spine. I started shaking. Dimitri came closer to me and hugged me again.

'That's indeed weird, Rose' he stated. He called me Rose. That was weird. He normally said Roza. We stayed silent for a while. I interrupted it when I spoke again.

'It may sound weird. What if it wasn't a dream but a memory. That would mean I was there when it happened' I said. But Jane should have known about it. She should have told me then and I didn't wake up in a hospital. I woke up in my bed.

I was fast asleep as far as I knew. It all stopped though when Jane came into my room. When did she get her? My eyes opened slightly. The light hurt my eyes. The curtains were open apparently.

'Good morning, Jane. What are you doing here?' I asked her. Jane looked sad. She sat down on my bed. With her hand she stroke a string of my hair behind my ear. I looked confused. 'What is going on? Where is mom?'

'Rose, there is something I need to tell you' she said quietly. I blinked a couple of times before I gave her my full attention. She sounded serious about this. I sat up and nodded.

'Your mom.. She died, Rose. She died in a car accident..' she said. I saw tears in her eyes and she started crying. The world slowed down. My heart stopped beating. I got up from the bed. My head felt heavy and I felt tears. I turned to Jane.

'Can you please go? I need to be alone.' Jane nodded and got out of my room. I felt disbelief. My mom couldn't be dead right? My badass mother. Who I loved. Who I respected. No, this was just a bad joke and it wasn't funny but Jane wouldn't joke about something like this. Slowly I realized my mom was really dead. My world was turned upside down. Tears were streaming down my face. Anger rushed through my body. I grabbed things around me and started breaking it. When there wasn't anything anymore to break I fell on my bed. I started screaming and beating my pillow. When I had no more energy I just fell into a restless sleep.

That was a I wanted to forget. The day when I heard my mom died was unbearable.

'I don't know' Dimitri said interrupting my thoughts. I got up from the couch and went to the bedroom. Dimitri followed me.

'I want to sleep. Today has been exhausting enough' I said.

'I get it' he said back. We both laid down on his bed. I turned to him for a kiss. He knew what I meant and he kissed me softly. When he pulled back I turned again. He pulled me close and whispered something in my ear.

'I love you, Roza' he said. Before even thinking about it I said it back.

'I love you too, Comrade' I said smiling. I fell asleep. Ready for the nightmare that was coming.

Dimitri POV

Having my Roza in my arms made me the happiest man alive. I was still awake. I waited until Rose was asleep. I needed to make a call to Jane. When I was sure she was asleep I pulled back my arms. She stirred a little. I got out of bed trying not to wake her up. I sneaked out of the room. I grabbed me phone from the table and dialled Janes number. She picked up instantly.

'Jane? Hello' I said into the phone.

'What is it? Is something wrong?' she asked worriedly. She was amazing when it came to Rose. She would be a good mother to her own kids if she would ever have them.

'No, Rose is okay' I said fast.

'Then why are you calling?'

'She talked about the nightmares. You have to tell it her. She is on to something. She is suspicious about it' I said.

'Not yet. I discovered a little more. Just for a little while.'

'Okay. But she deserves to know' I stated.

'I know, Dimitri. Soon. Then I will tell her the truth. If you don't mind I am going to my bed. You should do it to.'

'Fine. Goodnight' I said before hanging up.

I had a secret from Rose. I knew it wasn't good. She would find out soon and then she definitely didn't want to see me anymore. I worshiped every moment we had together because I knew I would be losing her soon. Rose was special. I knew for sure she was my soulmate and I was about to ruin it all. I couldn't tell her because I promised Jane not to. It was up to her.

I walked back to my bedroom and laid down next to Rose. She woke up. She looked confused at me.

'What were you doing?' she asked.

'I had to go to the bathroom' I said lying. Now, I even felt more terrible. 'Go back to sleep.' I kissed her hair and she nodded. I pulled her close again. What was I doing? I was about to lose the woman I loved.

A/N: Sorry that it took so long to update this story again. I had trouble with inspiration for it but I had an idea today. So her it is. I will focus more on the accident from now on. So what do you think that Jane and Dimitri are keeping secret? The beginning from the chapter is in the morning and the end in the evening. Hope it isn't too confusing. Sorry if there are any mistakes. Thanks for reading! :D