.

.

This, Bishamon thinks, as she feels another stinging sensation at the base of her neck, is not going to work.

"For heaven's sakes, Kazuma, why are you stinging me?" Bishamon says. Kazuma's shirt is unbuttoned and his glasses are off, but he doesn't look at her, blushing furiously as she takes his hand and palms it against her breast. "You've seen me naked plenty of times before!"

"Bishamon-sama, forgive me! I am not used to this."

Bishamon sighs. He's only ever called her "Bishamon-sama" in front of her other shinki, and now that they've been intimate, he's been increasingly more awkward.

"You were licking my nipple earlier, you don't have to be so formal," Bishamon says.

"I humbly apologize, Bishamon-sama! Er, Veena," Kazuma says.

"Okay," Bishamon says, and she peels his hand away from her chest. "Kazuma. Whenever you call me 'Bishamon-sama,' we're going to stop whatever it is that we're doing. I'm your master. I need to be sure that I'm not forcing you."

Kazuma looks at her as if he's been slapped across the face. "You're not forcing me," Kazuma says.

"Even so," Bishamon says, and she carefully starts buttoning up Kazuma's shirt. "I need to make sure I'm not taking advantage of you. This is important to me, Kazuma. I don't want to do anything you don't want to do."

"If that's the case, Veena..." Kazuma is blushing. He doesn't look at her. "I would like to continue what we were doing," he says.

They aren't able to continue.

Kazuma keeps stinging her. One moment, they're kissing, lying flush against each other as they're grinding against their bodies; the next, a harsh sting that makes Bishamon jerk up and Kazuma apologize.

He doesn't sting her when she takes the lead, but when she rolls him onto his back, pulling off his clothes and rubbing her mouth against his body, Bishamon will remember that he is her shinki, she was the one who gave him his name, and the power imbalance will make her stop unexpectedly.

"It seems we are at an impasse," Kazuma says, ruefully. Bishamon regrettably pulls on her clothes.

"How is it that you've been able to look at this and not sting me all these years, and yet when I finally give you permission you sting me all over the place?" Bishamon says. She flips open the comic to a two-page spread of herself being penetrated by a faceless man, her breasts bouncing and her face contorted in an exaggerated flush. "Really, Kazuma. It should be the other way around."

"I suppose...after all I've done to you, Veena, I haven't entirely forgiven myself. I feel that I'm not worthy."

Kazuma doesn't look at her when he says it. Absolute honesty was one of the rules they decided on when they embarked on this relationship, and as foolish as it sounds, she knows he's being completely honest. Bishamon smiles at him and fluffs his hair fondly. Kazuma smiles.

"But more to the point, Veena," Kazuma says, after they've rearranged themselves back on the bed, Bishamon resting her head against Kazuma's chest and his hand idly tracing the skin of her back, "You stop whenever you take the lead. So I believe in this instance you are feeling just as guilty as I am."

"We are too alike," Bishamon says. She sighs against his neck. "So what should we do, now?"

"Are you asking me as your lover or as your guide?"

"Both," Bishamon says. Kazuma considers.

"Perhaps we shouldn't force it," Kazuma says. Bishamon nestles against his neck. "These things may take some time."

Bishamon nods, quietly.

She remembers that first time he kissed her. After her fight with Yato, Bishamon had stayed by Kazuma's bedside. She was restless and worried, and before long she was climbing into bed and falling asleep beside him. A few hours passed. There was a crick in her neck from sleeping in one position, and as she opened her eyes she saw Kazuma watching her quietly.

He kissed her softly on the mouth. Bishamon pulled back, stunned. Kazuma's eyes were soft. He smiled gently, then nestled against her.

She had gone to see Kofuku immediately afterwards.

It was no secret that Kofuku and her shinki lived as man and wife: the Binbougami always flouted the rules, and while the other gods frowned and judged amongst themselves, Kofuku proudly paraded around Daikoku, taking every opportunity to kiss him or hug his waist in public. (There were other times, too, when Kofuku smugly would pat Daikoku on the butt, whenever some other gods would frown at her disapprovingly.)

"The problem is that he's my shinki," Bishamon said. "I've always seen my shinki as my children. But Kazuma is different. I don't know when I started to think of him that way, but now that he's kissed me, I can't go on ignoring it.

But I wanted to ask you, Kofuku-dono," Bishamon said. "How is it between you and Daikoku? You have his memories of his human life. How do you keep that from affecting your relationship?"

"Because it doesn't!" Kofuku said, happily. Bishamon sighed. She had been far too hopeful that Kofuku would have some sage advice, but obviously her hopes were misplaced: Kofuku kicked her feet under her chair and played with a piece of red bean cake, making Bishamon feel foolish for sharing something so deeply personal.

"Ne, Bisha?" Kofuku said. Bishamon looked up.

"What do you remember of Kazu-chan's life?"

Bishamon thought. "He was a good son. A kind brother and a loyal friend. He died too young," Bishamon said, quietly. "He suffered." Kofuku leaned forward.

"And how long has he been your shinki?" Kofuku said. Bishamon shook her head. "Longer than he was a human, right?"

Bishamon set down her cup. Kofuku was watching her with knowing eyes.

"Daikoku has been my shinki longer than he was human. The memories of his past life no longer matter. What's twenty years of a human life compared to a millennia by your side? I think you're overthinking it," Kofuku said, and Bishamon stared at her, awestruck.

The Binbougami acts like she doesn't know anything. She puts on the façade of an idiot, a carefree spirit who causes disaster in her wake. But Bishamon knows that there's a reason why the Binbougami is openly feared.

"We both harbor a god's greatest secret," Bishamon said. "Don't you think that makes things unfair?" Kofuku looked at her with measured eyes, answering her quietly.

"I think that's the arrogance of the gods to think that something like that matters," Kofuku said.

Fortunately for Bishamon, Kazuma didn't seem to remember the kiss. They spoke about their past, the mistakes they both made and their hopes for the rest of the clan. And when she handed him the exchange diary she tried to ignore the accidental brush of her hand against the tips of his fingers.

"What are you thinking about?" Kazuma says now, and his voice startles her out of her reverie. She rests her chin against his sternum and smiles.

"I was thinking about our first kiss," Bishamon says.

Kazuma sighs, heavily. "I was heavily medicated," Kazuma says. She smiles at him and cards her hands through his hair. "You know I wouldn't take such liberties with you normally."

"Why do you feel like you have to defend yourself? It was a perfectly sweet memory."

"I just would hate for you to think that's how I do things," Kazuma says. Bishamon quirks an eyebrow.

"Oh? So you had a plan to seduce me, then?" She idly runs her fingers through his hair.

"Er-" Kazuma blushes.

"Tell me," Bishamon says, and she leans against his shoulder. "How would you seduce me?"

"I honestly don't know. I can barely seduce you now," Kazuma says. Bishamon laughs and kisses him, delighted. "I suppose...if I had to...I would probably ask Yato for help."

"That rat bastard. Tell me you are joking."

"I've no doubt he can play the consummate wingman when he has to."

"Hm." Bishamon leans back against his chest. "So those comics," Bishamon says, and Kazuma groans, audibly.

"Veena, he gave me that first one as a joke."

"And the others?"

"Er...well I have always appreciated his style and clean linework."

"Which one is your favorite?" Bishamon says. "The one where I'm tied up or the one where I'm playing with the lion? Or how about the one where I have to have sex or else my godhood will implode?"

"Please do not ask me this." Kazuma's ears are red, which is completely endearing.

"The one where I'm tied up is pretty dog-eared, Kazuma. I daresay you've looked at this one the most." Bishamon reaches one slender arm across his chest and tugs at the offending comic on the nightstand. "Oh, Kazuma, look. The binding here is broken at this page-"

"Please don't look at it," Kazuma says, and Bishamon laughs and kisses him, hoisting him closer.