The door knocked on Samus' door. She blinked like five times, irritated by the door's awful sounds. She grabbed a bathrobe to cover her naked body and turned on some lights so she could see. She opened up the door to see Master Hand.

"The hell do you want?" she asked. She was an utter mess. Master Hand handed her a little envelope to her hands.

"You have an assignment." he said. She snatched the envelope and scowled as she pulled out the paper.

"Why the hell would you just not tell me-" she said, rolling her eyes. She turned on the light in the room to read. She read over the letter.

"Samus Aran is to head to Missingno Island on the seventeenth of January to fix the power. The residents there are without power and in this awful weather…"

"Why the hell am I fixing the power?" asked Samus Aran. "Isn't Mario a plumber or something? Get him to do it…" she threw the letter onto the counter. Master Hand grabbed her by the collar of the bathrobe and pulled her back. She crossed her arms. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Yeah, sure. You know you should be kicked out of the Smash Mansion for what you did not too long ago…" said Master Hand. "Little stunt at the house…"

She scowled again. "That was R.O.B, I was only standing up to you about it. You want me to do it again?" Master Hand sighed.

"Yeah, I know. Missingno Island has a couple of… problems on it but still, it's a simple job." Samus leaned against the wall.

"I'm not doing shit." she said, crossing her arms. "You think I'm going to an island with… him on it?"

Master Hand's fingers moved wildly in frustration. "Look… what do you want from me? I'm just asking you to take the assignment. They asked for you, I don't know why, but someone has to do it. Why are you being such a jerk about it?"

Samus scowled again. "What, not doing a job I don't want to do is considered a dick move now?" She walked over to the coffee maker and placed the glass pot under it. "I don't… want to see him again."

"You don't have to. It's hard to bargain with you, you know? You're a Smasher, you have infinite money, you pretty much have everything you want…" Master Hand stated. "I try to make you people happy and yet when I ask you guys to do something you all act like brats about it…" Brown liquid poured into the glass pot.

"Yes… your job is very hard. My job is very hard too," she stated as the liquid stopped pouring. She grabbed the pot and poured into a mug with the Smash logo on it. She took a sip and then looked at Master Hand. "I'm not very happy, I'll admit it."

"What can I do then?" she paused. "If you're not happy even with everything at the world in your fingers, then… what can I do?" he asked. "You have it better than anyone else out there. Those Playstation All Star jokers are still looking for jobs… you have a nice boyfriend… I don't get it, what are you all upset about in that case?"

She took a deep breath. "Maybe it's a lack of purpose. Does the next Metroid game even have me in it? I don't fucking know. Other M was a disaster…" she sipped more coffee. "...is anyone even happy here? Mario and Peach divorced like… god knows how long now, well, I guess Palutena and Lucina are pretty happy right now but-"

"Look, can you just do this?" Master Hand asked. Samus put down the mug.

"Fine." she said, throwing her hands up in the air. Master Hand closed the door as Samus sighed heavily, hating that she gave up so easily about it. R.O.B sauntered into the room, his head whirring as she sat the table alone. He plunked himself onto the seat.

"What's up." she sighed, putting her head onto the table.

"You okay?" he asked.

"No! This shit's happening again. I have an assignment to go to Missingno Island," she banged her head onto the table. R.O.B's head shook in confusion. "Sorry, just… ugh. I'm supposed to be better than this."

"Look… it's like a couple of days over there at most," R.O.B said. "It's not like that time I got a job."

"Can I even handle a couple days without you? I feel so weak saying that but I… I'm not sure where I'm supposed to go or what I'm supposed to do now. They certainly haven't given me a ton of work lately." she said.

"You can do it." R.O.B said.

Samus glanced over to R.O.B. "Who's gonna tell me that when I'm over in a shitty little apartment on Missingno Island?"

"I wouldn't say it if I knew you could." R.O.B said. Samus dimly grinned as the sun came up.

"Thanks." she finished the coffee up.

Samus finished her work out and headed to leave when she saw a really weird sight. A girl behind the counter. She looked kind of like Wii Fit Trainer but… nah… that couldn't be it.

"Who are you?" she asked.

"Wii Fit Trainer." said the girl.

Samus almost laughed. "No you're not… where is he?" she glanced around, expecting to see him, but he wasn't around.

"Well… we're both Wii Fit Trainer. He's sick today so he told me I could take over the register today." Samus still looked confused.

"How come I've never seen you until now?" she asked. Wii Fit Trainer shrugged.

"I teach the yoga classes." Wii Fit Trainer said.

"That doesn't make any goddamn sense. I do yoga here every day… wait, classes?" asked Samus. "There are classes?" Wii Fit Trainer nodded. Samus was taken aback a bit. "Since when?"

"Since… ever?" replied Wii Fit Trainer. Samus still was confused. "We meet over there." she said, pointing to the right side of the gym, next to the flexing Wii Fit balance board.

"Huh, okay," said Samus, still scratching her head. "Well, I can't call both of you Wii Fit Trainer…"

"I guess you can't, huh," Wii Fit Trainer said. "Well… our real names are Rachel and David but… don't tell anyone."

"Rachel?" repeated Samus.

"Yes…?" asked Rachel.

"Nothing. See you around then, Rachel." Samus said, heading for the door.

"Haha, doubt that. David doesn't like me behind the counter." said Rachel.

Samus rolled her eyes. David, what a sexist scumbag.

Samus started packing stuff for the trip. She wasn't sure how long it would be, considering that this shit usually had a couple of subquests associated with it. She thought about asking SA-X for the power suit but it seemed a little unfair to them. They practically lived in the thing now.

"So… uh… did you ask for the equipment?" she asked R.O.B as he handed her a second coat. R.O.B gave a mechanical sigh.

"No… fuck, I'm sorry. I just… it's a hard question to ask," he said. "He… doesn't know about anything."

"What do you mean by anything?" asked Samus, packing the coats in after folding them.

"He doesn't know we're having sex." said R.O.B. Samus looked confused.

"How would he not know…?" asked Samus. "Didn't you get that whole body custom built or something?"

"He just had it laying around, I kind of lied about having it custom built." he said. He shrugged.

"Robots can't lie…" said Samus, thinking about their talks earlier.

"Well, I'm not exactly just a robot am I?" asked R.O.B. "My data patterns have been going from the human body and back, into a functioning brain... "

Samus zipped up the suitcase. "Well… a nice surprise would be getting that equipment ready when I come home, huh…" she said with a sultry tone.

"Yeah I suppose it would be." plainly said R.O.B. Samus laughed.

"You mood killer…" she said, kissing him on the top of his head. "Gonna miss you when I go." They hugged.