.

.

"Kazuma-san, can I ask you something?" Yukine says.

"Of course. What is it?" Kazuma says. He watches as Yukine fidgets with his sleeves.

"What's it like, having sex?" Yukine says.

"Huh?" Kazuma says.

"It's just that Yato would make fun of me and I didn't know who else to ask!"

"Um," Kazuma frowns. "Is there any particular reason why you're asking?"

"Not really." Actually, Yukine had accidentally come across Hiyori's stash of naked wrestling men - Yato stole one, doodled tits and long hair on the seme and wrote KAZU-CHAN on the man being pounded. Hiyori was so mad she refused to talk to Yato for a week.

"Well," Kazuma says, remembering that he is Yukine's teacher, such things were his responsibility. "What is it that you want to know?"

Yukine glares, blushes, and digs his toe into the ground.

"What do boobs feel like?" Yukine asks.

"'Boobs'?" Kazuma echoes.

"Yeah. I mean, they're like, blobs of fat, right? Yato says they're like bags of sand but that idiot jersey probably's never touched one, except maybe Hiyori's once when she was sleeping-"

"That does not sound very proper," Kazuma says, frowning.

"So are they, like, soft? What do they feel like? Does it hurt when you squeeze 'em?"

"Um." Kazuma considers.

"Palm the muscle of your calf when your leg is relaxed," Kazuma says. "A breast feels much like that."

"Boobs feel like legs?" Yukine says.

"Er, not exactly. But more the weight and heft of it."

"How about when you're inside?" Yukine says.

"Ah..." Kazuma frowns, trying to think of an appropriate answer. "If you were to suck on your fingers, that would approximate the warmth and wetness, I believe. The vaginal walls are much like resting your finger flat on your tongue."

"Huh," Yukine says. Suddenly sex doesn't seem like that big of a deal.

"But more importantly, Yukine, didn't you come here to practice?" Kazuma says. Yukine nods.

"Yeah," Yukine says, and he lifts his fingers in a halberd. "Thank you, Kazuma-san!"

xXx

.

Yato is climbing through the window, a piece of dried squid hanging from his mouth, when he sees Yukine sucking on his fingers and fondling his calf.

Yukine's eyes widen. He pulls his hand from his mouth.

"O-oi! You shitty jersey! Don't you know how to knock?!"

"The hell are you doing, Yukine?" Yato says.

"N-none of your business! Go away!"

("That bastard god of calamity!" Bishamon says, while Kazuma is trying his best to calm her down. She's holding the magazine that Yato had doodled all over - the seme with tits and hair and PSYCHO BITCH emblazoned in black marker.

Yato had just finished delivering it to her house.)