First update of 2016! (I know I'm sorry this is so late!) Also schoolis back and I have exams and I want to scream. Please keep leaving lovely feedback because it's honestly the highlight of my day and always makes me one very happy person. Enjoy!
P.S I'm so sorry! I PROMISE the holiday themed chapters are almost done! But c'mon it's SO CUTE and you gotta love Christmas.
We set out for tree shopping that very afternoon. I was willing to do anything to make Rose happy, I don't think I could stand to continue seeing her suffer all the time. Since I had my hands busy piling all the supplies we'd need to tie our tree on the roof, Rose opted to cling to Esme's leg instead of mine during the process. When we put Rosalie in the car I put her in a booster seat beside Jasper. Alice pouted but I promised she could sit beside Rose on the way back. Rosalie's eyes were glued to the window as we pulled away from our large estate and out into the water slicked roads.
It was an annual tradition to go shopping at the Black's farm for our Christmas tree. Once we'd picked out a tree everyone liked (which was a very challenging task in itself) we'd take it home and spend the rest of the day decorating it and drinking hazardous amounts of hot chocolate.
The car ride is fairly uneventful. Every once in a while Esme or I will point out something interesting to Rosalie, and Alice will excitedly chatter about each topic for a couple minutes until she's run out of things to say. Emmett and Jasper silently battle for Edwards attention-who has earbuds in and seems to be doing his best to completely ignore his younger siblings.
When I made the swift turn that led to the Black family's tree farm all the kids eyes visibly grew wide with excitement. Billy instantly recognized the familiar SUV and began to wheel his wheelchair over as we quickly piled out of the car. Rosalie was the only one left in the backseat by the time Esme and I got out. I looked at Esme and gestured towards the back seat- letting her know I would talk to Rosalie. She hustled to catch up with the kids who were already excitedly talking to Billy and his son Jake.
"If it feels like it's too much just tell me or Esme and we'll leave." I reassured Rosalie.
Rose undid her seatbelt and grabbed my offered hand as she stepped out of the car. She hadn't been out anywhere since the hospital. I couldn't help but think it was too big of a step to take far too soon in Rosalie's recovery. But if she wanted to try it, I would be with her every step of the way.
"Carlisle, good to see you!" Billy welcomes as we draw closer. Rosalie holds my hand tighter in her own, still unsure of the whole ordeal.
"Billy; happy holidays! How's business?" I ask, sticking my free hand out to shake his.
"Can't complain," Billy answers with a grin.
"Who's that?" Jacob asks Jasper loudly, a finger pointed in Rosalie's direction.
"That's Rosalie." Alice pipes up, rolling her eyes as if it were obvious.
Jacobs eyes don't leave Rosalie and he narrows them suspiciously at her.
"Didn't anyone ever teach you its rude to stare?" Rosalie hisses at him.
Esme and I both stare at her in shock for a couple moments; flabbergasted.
"You'll have to forgive him, he doesn't have much for manners." Billy apologizes, luckily not sounding angry.
Rosalie was very unpredictable - you could never tell what her reaction to things would be. She could go from joking, to angry, and to crying in a half of a second.
Billy looks at Rosalie and I'm happy the smile doesn't leave his face as he greets her warmly. Rosalie smiles timidly back at him, and I think that for the most part they will get along just fine.
Once all the kids have settled down slightly and have greeted each other we decide to get to the real matter at hand; tree shopping!
Billy always has the best Christmas trees and everyone in La Push and most people in Forks give him their business. Even when Esme and I had moved out of Forks and into Seattle we continued to buy from Billy, and have stayed close to him and his family throughout the years. Especially after he'd lost his wife a couple years ago to cancer.
"Lots of our trees are gone, but don't worry there is still a couple magazine ready trees for our last minute shoppers." Billy reassured, his signature smile still stretched across his face.
All the children besides Rosalie-who was still clinging to my hand like it was a life line-raced ahead of us, examining each tree before racing on to the next one. Billy and Esme make small talk while I walk Rosalie up to trees and let her feel the firs on them.
"This is perfect!'" Alice suddenly squealed.
Rosalie looked curiously in the direction of where Alice's voice had come from. Blue eyes wide with wonder, she tugged lightly on my hand; pointing in the direction of the other children.
Alice runs towards us and grabs Rosalie's hand from my own.
"C'mon Rose. You've got to see this tree! It's the coolest."
Before I have time to open my mouth and scold Alice she's running off again with Rosalie in tow. Billy laughs; he always found Alice to be hilarious.
"Look at it Rose! Isn't it the prettiest Christmas tree you've ever seen?" Alice exclaims loudly.
"It's beautiful!" Rosalie agrees, sounding excited.
Me and Esme share a smile. After all the tragedy Rosalie had faced in the the last few months it was hard to think of a better feeling then the one felt seeing Rose finally get to be a kid she never really got to be. Eagerly I take Esme's hand as we both rush to see our soon to be Christmas tree.
Today was my most favourite day ever. Luckily Carlisle and Esme have a big front door or we wouldn't have been able to fit our Christmas tree into the house. I'd never put a tree inside of my house before, I'd always assumed trees were an outside only type of thing. I'd already learned so many new things since coming to live with Carlisle and his family, it was hard to figure out if anything I knew was right or wrong.
Esme made us gingerbread men cookies and they took up the whole wrap around island. Carlisle even let me put the star on top of the Christmas tree. He said it was one of the most important jobs when decorating for Christmas, and that the whole family wanted me to do it. Carlisle lifted me onto the top of his shoulders and Esme took a video of me putting the star up. When we plugged the various strands of Christmas lights we'd put on the tree in everyone applauded as it lit up; illuminating the whole family room.
I was overcome with a warmth that I hadn't felt before. Was this what if felt like to belong? No- I had always belonged with my mom and dad, we were always the picture perfect family. This -I thought to myself- is what it felt like to be loved.
I still felt like an open wound. But on days like this, I felt as though maybe, just maybe- I could be whole again.