.

.

They had gone out for drinks, and while normally Kazuma would just spend the night nursing a single beer or daintily sipping seltzer water and cranberry juice, Bishamon noticed that for once he actually seemed to be drinking. "I thought you didn't like alcohol," Bishamon said. Kazuma smiled.

"That was probably because I avoided drinking while I was around you."

"Really?" Bishamon lowered her glass. "Why?"

"I suppose I was afraid I might say something embarrassing," Kazuma said.

"Embarrassing?"

"Like accidentally confessing my feelings for you." Kazuma smiled. "But I suppose since we're in a relationship, something like that wouldn't matter."

"Aw." Bishamon kissed his cheek and smiled, patting him on the thigh, fondly.

"YO KAZUMA!" Yato said. He waved around his glass, drunkenly. "TELL EVERYONE HOW YOU EMBARRASSED TAKEMIKAZUCHI."

"Um," Kazuma said. "I think most everyone was already there-"

"DIDJA GUYS HEAR HIM? 'CUZ APPARENTLY HE'S A FUCKIN' STUD IN BED!"

"Oh my god," Kazuma said. Yato grinned, slinging an arm over Kazuma's shoulder.

"Ol' Thunder face didn't know what hit him!" Yato said. "He was all, 'Bishamon is gonna throw you in the trash heap!' and Kazuma was all, 'no she won't,' and he was like, 'why?'

And then Kazuma was like, 'BECAUSE I'M A MOTHERFUCKING ROCK STAR, THUNDER FACE! YOU CAN GO SUCK IT!' And then Takemikazuchi did because he's a little bitch!"

Tenjin smirked. "That is fairly accurate, if I rightly recall."

"Yo Kazuma," Yato said. "How often do you guys do it, anyway?"

"That's none of your business!" Kazuma said.

"Bishamon?" Yato and Tenjin looked at her. Bishamon sipped her drink.

"Once, maybe twice a day."

"VEENA!" Kazuma said, horrified, as every other god and shinki's eyes widened.

"Whoa!"

"That much?"

"How can you even walk?"

"Is that a lot?" Bishamon said. "We just do it in the mornings and sometimes when we have time at night." Truth be told, making love to Kazuma was Bishamon's favorite way to wake up.

"Wow!" Kofuku said. "High five, Kazu-chan! That's even more than me and Kokki!"

"This is so embarrassing," Kazuma said.

"Yo Kazuma, it's no big deal! Everyone already knows you're a closet pervert." Yato held up his Bisha fan comic which he mysteriously happened to have in one of the pockets of his jersey. "See?"

"Yato where did you get that?! Put that away!"

"What are you guys talking about?" Yukine said. He and Hiyori had come from back, each holding a glass of juice.

"Grown-up stuff, Yukine! Take Hiyori outside so we don't taint her virgin ears!"

"Hey!" Hiyori said. Yukine's eyes narrowed.

"Why are you showing off Kazuma-san's porn?"

("Ne, ne, Bisha~" Kofuku whispered. "Is Kazu-chan really big?"

"He is," Bishamon said, smiling. "He's not too long but he's very thick, and his fingers and tongue are like magic.")

"Yato can you please stop waving that around?!" Kazuma said, because now Yato was standing on the tabletop holding his two-page spread of a naked Bishamon like a banner.